Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma ½

You Want Us To What!

Chapter Two

During the sixteen years Ranma's been alive, he's had his fair share of awkward moments. But, at this particular moment, he has never seen a more awkward position. Being the sloppy sleeper he is, his arms and legs spread out openly occupying Akane's bed. At some point unbeknownst to him, his left hand wandered on Akane's shirt. More exactly, on her breast. So, now here he was face-to-face with his violent "wife" as her body trembled uncontrollably out of fury.

"A-Akane, it ain't what it looks like!" He babbled, snatching his hands back to safety. "I didn't mean to do it! I swear!"

But, what was he honestly expecting? For Akane to suddenly smile at him and say, "Is that so, Ranma? My mistake for misinterpreting the whole situation. Let's go get some breakfast, okay?"? Of course she would only say something cute like that in his imagination. So, his face braced for impact, for the fist of fury to travel at the speed of light and crash this unfortunate victim into the koi pond. Ultimately, him beginning his morning as a girl.

Waiting. Waiting. Waiting.

He uncovered his face, arms slightly apart as he gazed at Akane through the small crack his mind reluctantly allowed to open. He expected her to patiently await for the barrier around his face to crumble so she could get better aim, but was instead unreadable; her eyes hidden behind her bangs as her body lay motionless in its position. He suddenly began to wonder what stopped her from assuming the worst in him as she usually did, before gathering enough courage to lean forward and tilt his head just enough so he was now able to glance at her face. "Akane...?"

"Ranma," she began through gritted teeth, glaring daggers at the pigtailed boy. "The only thing restraining me from breaking every single bone in your body is the fact that Ukyo's probably eavesdropping. If it were any other time, you'd be a dead man."

A grin lit his face, suddenly realizing some advantages this situation was bringing. Maybe he was going about it all wrong, and decided to ponder over the positives aspects. For one, he couldn't be beaten around every time she wished, and her uncute attitude would have to be... well, cute! His grin broadened into a full smile, sending an uneasy feeling lingering in her mind.

"What's with that look?"

He shrugged his response, effortlessly and gracefully leaping out of bed before landing perfectly on his feet. "Nothin'," he replied, whistling a tune as he sauntered through the door. "See you downstairs, hon-ey."

She cringed at the emphasis of the word, and began wondering what exactly Ranma had in mind. She literally threatened to murder the guy, and he moseys out of their room happily! That pervert was probably thinking of a few jokes to ridicule her chest! Well, she would have to make sure Ukyo was absolutely convinced they were married so she could freely beat the tar out of Ranma whenever the chance arose! The world would be better off without one more lecher wandering the streets anyway.

With that she yawned and rose from the bed, slipping her feet into her slippers before heading toward the bathroom. There standing before her door was Ukyo, a towel draped over one shoulder as her hair was tied in a lazy ponytail. The two gazed at each other for what seemed an eternity, before Akane forced a smile across her face. "Good morning, Ukyo!" She smiled enthusiastically, eyeing the girls disheveled pajamas and toothbrush. "Were you heading to take a bath?"

It took more than a few extra seconds for Ukyo to summon a smile, before returning Akane's enthusiasm with her own. "Yup!" She nodded, jingling her bath supplies. "Care to join?"

"Sure." She agreed, falling into step beside the brunette. For some reason, Akane held the feeling of superiority over Ukyo even if it was just from last night. It was odd for her to have the upper hand, so she decided to enjoy every minute of it. "Did you end up visiting us last night? Because, I never did end up seeing you, you know."

The okonomiyaki chef tightened her grip on the soap, disgusted by Akane's taunting innocence. "I did, yeah," she began, swallowing hard as she cast Akane a sidelong glance. "If I didn't know your history together, I certainly would have been fooled. Lucky for me, Ranchan's episode this morning confirmed that he wasn't interested in you."

Akane stopped, losing composure for just a moment before glancing at Ukyo again with feigned confusion. "Episode? What do you mean?"

"This morning, his hand accidentally fell on your breast, right?" Ukyo suddenly grasped the slight advantage she had with Akane's hesitation and flashed her a genuine, triumphant grin. "He shouldn't have been so nervous if it was his wife he was touching, now would he?"

She mentally cursed Ranma for his mistake of being so noisy in the morning before quickly retorting her poorly thought out plan. "Yeah, and he only became nervous because he didn't want to seem as though he was pushing me or anything." Leaning closer to Ukyo, her voice suddenly became low and her words concise. "But, did you hear my response?"

Ukyo shook her head, penetrated from Akane's stare. For as long as she's known Akane, Ranma always referred to her as the "uncute" fiancée. But, at this very moment, where Akane's short hair fell perfectly around her round face and her brown eyes lit with intensity and passion– she wondered just who was the uncute one. Just to surprise her even more, a slow, seductive smile played across Akane's face. "I told him he'd just have to wait for tonight." Then, just as quickly as it appeared, it disappeared, Akane returning to her normal self as she slipped open the bathroom door and smiled at her companion. "Let's hurry before the water turns cold."

"Y-yeah." She finished lamely, this round of battle clearly won by Akane. She stripped off her sleep attire and entered into the soothing hot water, letting out a contented sight as she spread her arms out on the bathtub rails. "This feels so nice..."

"Doesn't it?" Akane agreed, secretly releasing a breath she wasn't aware she was holding. Where did she have the audacity to proclaim such lewd things to Ukyo anyway? Who knows what Ukyo is going to ask them to do for today? Oh, and then there was Ranma, of course. If Ranma discovered she uttered those perverted words to Ukyo, he would mock her into her grave! She hugged her knees to her chest and sank lower into the water, bubbles forming around her mouth as she muttered insults to her unaware, soon-to-be dead fiancé. Well, in her mind he remained as her fiancé.

It didn't matter as long as Ukyo maintained the mentality that Ranma complimented her by calling her cute. The girl's beauty was rarely commented on since everyone believed she was a boy. Except for that cross-dresser Tsubasa, of course. Honestly, how could she have fallen in love with a boy who merely tossed her a kind word? Heck, if that was the case, Ukyo could have fallen for anyone! She sighed, rubbing the soap over her tensed body.

Ukyo was beautiful, and if Ranma hadn't been in their way, she was certain they could have become close friends. But, here she was in the middle of a mess that Ranma should have cleaned up a long time ago. Images of last night flashed through her mind at the mention of his name, and she felt heat rise to her face as she realized the aftermath of her actions. But, it was a weird kinda pleasant feeling that embraced her body and soul when Ranma wrapped his arms around her waist. But, of course it was acting and she had to remember. Acting was acting. No passion, honesty, or genuine feelings.

She dumped the rest of the contents of the bucket on her body before rising, wrapping her body around in a towel. "I'm gonna head out first, Ukyo," she called over her shoulder. "Make sure you don't stay in too long or else you'll be late for school."

"'Kay, sugar!"

Akane clothed herself in her Furinkan uniform, sighing as she headed downstairs to join the rest of her family at the table. Upon entering the kitchen, she lazily dropped routinely down next to Ranma before beginning breakfast.

"Oh, well, if it isn't the married couple!" Nabiki began with a sly smirk. "Nice performance yesterday."

"W-well, it ain't like we had a choice," Ranma countered, his face still a deep shade of red as he spoke. "'Sides, it's not like we meant anything by it. Right, Akane?"

Theory proven, she thought bitterly, biting down on her tongue. "Of course, stupid." She responded, angrily slurping down her ramen. "If it wasn't for Ukyo, I would have punted you through a window!"

Nabiki rolled her eyes, chewing on the end of her chopstick. "I really need you guys to speed this process up. With Ukyo hanging on Ranma all the time, it's bad for business. How am I suppose to take photos when you two look so miserable?"

"An' you think that's the problem?" Ranma asked, not surprised by the middle Tendo's lack of sympathy. Nabiki was Nabiki, and money was all she seemed to care for.

Nabiki shrugged her response, watching Ranma turn his attention to Akane instead. "Hey, we should probably get going."

"Sure..." She replied, her voice seeming distant as she was more in tune with her thoughts. There had to be some way to fully convince, without the slightest of doubts, that her and egghead over here were married. She could hear Ukyo's footsteps approaching and stood abruptly, extending her hand to Ranma with the most cute smile she could manage with at the moment. "Walk me to school, Ranma?"

His heart froze. His body froze. His mind froze. For a brief second, all he could see was Akane's hand, and an enchanting smile encouraging his hand to unconsciously find their way into hers. "Yeah..." He replied, before hearing Ukyo arriving into the kitchen. His body reawakened then, reminding him that she was acting, and there was no true passion behind her words. Regardless, he was content with this for now.

Soun wiped his eyes, passing over a box of tissues to Genma. "A memorable day, isn't that right, Saotome?"

"You said it, Tendo," he agreed, dramatically shaking his head from side-to-side as he sniffled. "You said it."

Ukyo surprisingly said nothing, her eyes not even meeting Ranma's or Akane's as she smiled at Nabiki. "Hey, sugar," she said brightly, handing her an okonomiyaki. "I made it just for you. I know how you hate spending money on school lunch."

Nabiki laid her head in her palms, glancing up at Ukyo's generous offer. "I guess I can spare Kuno Baby a few extra yen," she replied, her lips curling into her signature smile– if you can call it that, that is. "But, I'm guessing this has a little something to do with business?"

"A little." Ukyo smiled, batting her eyelashes innocently.

"Name your terms, Ukyo."

Meanwhile, Ranma and Akane trudged to school, Akane glaring fiercely at Ranma. "Geez, Ranma! Does it look like we can hold hands if we're walking on the fence?"

"Well, maybe if you we're a good martial artist, we could." He shot back, letting out a little yelp as her fingernails dug deep into his palm. "Lay off, would you?"

Her glare only intensified. "That's what you get for your little perverted action this morning," she spat through gritted teeth, before turning her attention elsewhere. She was determined to ignore him all day until she was forced to acknowledge him. Unfortunately, she suddenly felt her hands going moist and stared disgustingly at him. "Why are you sweating so much?"

"I'm nervous," he responded, all hostility exiting out of his system as Furinkan came into view.

She smiled. It was sort of cute to see the great Ranma Saotome get anxious every once in a while. Especially if she was the one causing it. "Don't worry about it, Ranma. I'm sure–"

"What will everyone think once they see me holding hands with an uncute girl like you?"

"DIE, RANMA!" She fumed, releasing the grip she held on him and aiming straight for his... smiling face?

"Ah, ah, ah," he began, wagging a finger at her as though she was a child. "If you hit me out here in the open, how will we ever get Ukyo to believe we're married?" He smiled at her silence, finally feeling he was avenging himself for ever being sent soaring across the world from his enraged fiancee.

"Ranma?" She began sweetly.

"Yeah?"

Her voice suddenly hissed low enough for no one else but Ranma to hear as she whispered in his ear, "I'm making you lunch everyday starting tomorrow," she began, smiling as she felt his body stiffen. "I'm sure that will certainly assure Ukyo we're married."

A chill ran down his spine, various medicines flashing in his mind and a horrid image of himself rocking back and forth in bed in agony, awaiting death to save him from his pain. He suddenly forgot all of his dominance and intertwined their hands once more, complimenting her every step of the way. "You know, Akane. You're a lot cuter than I give you credit for! I mean, you're just so beautiful! Do you want me to get that door for you, honey? Oh, and let me pull out your chair for you!"

"I'm fine, Ranma. And if it makes you feel any better, you're off the hook too," she heard him release a sigh of relief before planting himself in his assigned seat next to her. She frowned a little at the fact he despised her cooking so much, but found herself giggling regardless of his actions. "Gee, Ranma. You're so predictable." She managed to say through fits of laughter.

"Uncute," he responded, but couldn't stop his eyes from staring at his beaming fiancée as his thoughts betrayed his words.

But what still awaited them was that stupid bedroom..

-XxX-

The rest of the day winded down slowly after Ranma walked Akane home once more. They bickered as usual, but kept it to a minimum as Ukyo skipped merrily next to them the whole way. When asked, they replied with "lovers quarrel" and she shrugged indifferently, her eagerness for night eating away at her.

Once home, Akane went upstairs to finish her homework, Ranma went to practice a little in the dojo, and Ukyo assisted Kasumi in the kitchen. Several hours passed before dinner was called for, and the Tendo and Saotome family rushed to the table, conversations springing to life.

Ukyo watched in silence, however, as Ranma murmured something to Akane about Happosai before the couple burst into laughter. Soon, she reassured herself. Soon you'll expose them both and Ranma will be in your restaurant preparing your wedding in no time!

Akane caught on to Ukyo's quite calm demeanor and passed a smile toward her, simply reminding her that she was no fool, and her guard wasn't completely down. Ukyo returned her smile with a passionate exchange with Ranma, discussing childhood memories Akane couldn't even imagine. A light blush appeared on his face, begging Ukyo not to mention an "incident" he had in the third grade.

"Don't worry about it, Ranchan," she replied, "what happens between us, staysbetween us."

This caught Akane's attention, her mind wondering what secrets were being kept between the longtime friends. She mentally checked herself, not allowing Ukyo to fill her mind with any doubts. She did trust Ranma, after all. And he would never do something indecent and then disclose something with Ukyo and not her. The girl was just trying to bother her... but man was it working!

"Akane, can I talk to you?" Nabiki asked, already rising from the table. "There's this thing that's really been bothering me and I know that strength of yours will fix it right up."

"C-coming!" She rose as well, following her sister out the back porch in front of the koi pond. "What's up?"

"I'm about to give you some advice," Nabiki began, reaching out her hand. "It's only fair you should be charged a fee for what I'm so generously giving to you."

"Ugh, Nabiki I don't have time for this!" She replied, turning on her heel before heading toward the house once more. She couldn't afford doubts to cloud her judgement if she permitted Ranma to be alone with that conniving Ukyo.

"I'm serious, Akane. You will regret this decision if you walk away."

Sighing, Akane placed some cash in her sister's hand before angrily crossing her arms over her chest. "Well? What is this amazing piece of advice that's going to cause me regret if I ignore it?"

Nabiki smiled as her sister's melodramatic explanation before slipping the money in her back pocket. "Ukyo gave me an okonomiyaki with a gracious tip to install wires and cameras into your room. Or, should I say, yours and Ranma's room. All I'm saying is that you be more careful about what you say to Ranma, alright?"

"Gee, Nabiki, if she paid you why exactly are you helping me?"

"Because, my dear sister," she began dramatically, "You paid me, as well. As I've said, I'm always on the side of money! Ta-ta!"

Akane watched her sister depart, knowing that it wasn't the money behind her sister's generosity. Sometimes, even though it was hard to imagine, Nabiki cared for some things other than money. Sometimes, of course. Following her sister into the kitchen, she formed a lie to justify why Nabiki took her outside before Ukyo became suspicious. "That cockroach was disgusting, Nabiki! It made me lost my appetite!" Akane began before heading to the stairs. "It's pretty late so I'm just going to head off to bed. Are you coming, Ranma?"

"Sure," was his one-word response as he began following her upstairs as well.

"Thanks for killing it for me anyway, Akane," Nabiki said. "Get some sleep you two, some of us actually have to go places in the morning. Save it for when no one's home."

Their faces ignited, the couple dashing upstairs only to hear their fathers cheering as they went to retrieve some sake for pre-wedding celebration. "It's a good day, isn't it, Tendo?" She heard Genma say.

"The only better day would be on their wedding, Saotome!"

She latched on to Ranma's elbows, quickly whispering in his ear the information she was told outside. Forgetting about their father's howls for a moment, Ranma nodded slowly, opening the bedroom door. "I stay on my side right?"

"Oh, you silly!" Akane laughed, punching Ranma in the gut. "You can sleep wherever you want as long as it's with me!" Then she added more quietly: "God, Ranma! Don't make it sound so formal!"

"Oh, right," he reminded himself, sudden butterflies returning to his stomach. You would think he would be slightly more comfortable since it was his second time doing this... but he wasn't. It was just as nerving, and he could tell she felt the same since her expression mirrored his own.

"I guess I'll listen to Nabiki's advice for once and head off to bed," she laughed uneasily, adjusting the sleeves on her shirt. "You can get in first, I have to use the bathroom and change into pajamas anyway..."

For some odd reason, Ranma wasn't feeling so tired, and sleeping was the last thing on his mind. Ukyo would be observing them, so alone time with Akane wasn't so tempting. "It's still a little early," he began, purposely glancing at her clock. "Wanna stay up for a little?"

Her eyes widened, and as if practiced, both of their faces darkened in perfect synchronization. "Sure," she replied, seating herself on the floor with her back leaning against the bed. She smiled a little when Ranma sat down next to her instead of choosing any other location in the bedroom. Racking her brain for a conversation starter, she began, "What exactly was that incident that you were speaking about at dinner?"

He blushed, tugging at his collar. "An old story..."

"I wanna hear it anyway," she prodded, glancing at him through the corner of her eye.

"Well, I ain't tellin'."

"It was probably a lame story of you peeing your pants or something," she figured, her eyes catching the sight of his body going rigid. "Wait, it is about you peeing your pants?"

"Go ahead and laugh." He muttered, turning his head away from her.

So, she took his advice and did just that. Bursting into laughter, she held her stomach as she attempted to imagine an eight-year-old Ranma dashing around a classroom with his damp pants clinging to his slender legs. She ignored his glares until she emptied her system of laughter, sighing contentedly as she wiped away a tear with a single finger.

"It wasn't that funny!" He whined, "It was in front of the whole class! I didn't finish my homework and got... well, nervous!"

She cleared her throat, "When I was in the second grade I, um, passed gas while trying to present my horrible excuse for artwork. I was taunted for months, until," she broke off, raising her fists. "I taught those stupid kids who they were messing with."

He bit his tongue, making a great effort to restrain himself. But, after a few seconds, he began laughing hardly, rolling around on the floor exaggeratedly as he slammed his fists on the ground. Akane. Passed. Gas! The event of wetting his pants faded alongside his embarrassment as he found more interest in Akane passing anything other than a test. "Yours- yours is so much worse!"

She blushed, clenching her hands in fists. "Nu-uh! Aren't you suppose to be a martial artist? Why couldn't you have control over your bladder?"

"Yeah, but it's normal for guys at that age to pee. What's your excuse, Tomboy!" He answered through his laughter, finally gaining composure to at least diminish his laughter into a chuckle.

"I never should have told you!" She spat, crossing her arms childishly. "Goodness, Ranma. It wasn't that funny!"

"Don't be so sensitive, Akane," he laughed, poking her cheeks with his finger. "You laughed at mine."

"I'm going to bed," she huffed before rising abruptly.

"Come on," he continued, grabbing her arm and pulling her with such force she was now entangled in his embrace, her head laying on his chest. "Aren't you more comfortable with me, honey?"

She felt her head spin at their close proximity, but suddenly realized she was more comfortable in this position. She understood their circumstances and the fact they were acting, but all anger evaporated from her body as she felt her heart soar with joy. She wondered if Ranma was toying with her, and waited to hear a "gotcha!" of some sort– but none ever came. She readjusted herself, rising her head so it was now on his shoulder as her fingers grasped his shirt gently. With a small smile on her lips, she closed her eyes and began to drift off.

It was meant as a joke. That was his intention, anyway. He was expecting her to shove him away and crawl into bed stubbornly remaining angry with him. But, this was completely beyond his imagination. It was so uncharacteristic for her to behave this way, not that he wasn't complaining. But, something must have happened for her to let him do something. Element of surprise, maybe?

He slowly tilted his head to glance at her face, "Is this okay?" He asked half-heartedly, not wanting a rejection of any sort when he came this far. He made sure to mutter the words quickly so Ukyo couldn't read their lips or listen to their hushed whispers. What he saw instead was his silent fiancee breathing softly, her lips curved in a smile.

He could swear his heart was about to burst out of his chest. "Don't complain to me about this tomorrow," he ordered, slinging his arm around her ribs and resting his head on top of hers. "'Night, Akane."

"It's official," Ukyo thought, gazing at the couple murderously. "It's time time to bring in Shampoo."

-XxX-

A/N: So, I'm back to school again and am more busier than ever! Goodness, being a junior is not fun at all! D: Anywho, this is my latest installment of Ranma and Akane because who knows when I'll update next! Won't be so long, I promise.

I realize Ukyo isn't really a manipulative girl, but she is getting desperate with Ranma so it's obviously time to bring out the big guns. I hope you enjoyed and please don't forget to review! :)

Ranma x Akane = 3