Home for Christmas

(December 2016)


2

After the bowls of Wendy's special chili—made not with ground beef, but with tender sirloin cut in half-inch cubes, with a deep brown spicy, savory sauce and, as Manly Dan always insisted, "No damn beans!"—a satisfied Mabel and Dipper helped wash up and then they all sat on the floor by the fireplace and exchanged the presents.

"Oh, Mabes!" Wendy said, modeling the sweater—her favorite shade of green, with the Mystery Shack itself appliquéd on the front, its roof white with snow, its eaves hung with icicles, each window bright with light. "This is beautiful!'

And she loved Dipper's gift, too—a compact but sophisticated camera, rugged and versatile, with a 5x zoom plus a 20x digital zoom. "It's got a real wide range of aperture, good for bright sunlight and even pretty dark twilight, without a flash. You can take better pictures and movies with that than with your phone," he said. "And it's small enough to fit in a pocket."

"This is fantastic," she said. "Now when I go out camping, I can finally take good clear photos of the strange critters I come across."

Wendy had given Mabel a Knitty Kitty, a case about as big as a fisherman's kit, but full of all the tools a knitter or embroiderer might need. "This is top of the line stuff!" Mabel said. "Now I can toss some of my old plastic ones. Thanks!"

Dipper received a special-edition DVD, A Ghost Harasser's Christmas. And on the inside, there was a program book—and both the stars of the show, Jasyn Torque and Craig Grantley, had signed the cover in silver ink, with an inscription: To fellow ghost chaser, Dipper Pines—Keep 'em on the run!

"Wow," Dipper said. "First, I've never seen this. It ran, like, once, maybe ten years ago and was never repeated! Second, this DVD's been out of print forever, and I couldn't even find one on WheeBay. And last, you somehow got them to sign it?"

"Yeah, dude!" Wendy said. "Check it out, they showed up to hunt for ghosts in the Shack! They shot here for about three days just before we closed down for the season. The show's coming back!"

"What? When?" Dipper asked, feeling like a ten-year-old.

"Beginning next summer, they said. Only not on TV, on Webflix!"

"No! Freaking! Way!"

"Way, dude!" Wendy said. "They've been off the air for three years now, but their fans wanted them back so bad, they made the deal with Webflix."

Dipper gasped. "Can't breathe! Mouth not right words making!"

"Calm down!" Mabel said. "Inhale. Hold it. Hold it. Exhale. Now talk!"

Dipper managed that: "I can't believe I'm so excited! I mean, it was like my favorite show, even though they never found anything!"

"Didn't here, either, man," Wendy said. "But they interviewed Stan, who told them some great stories, and Soos, who really believes, you know, and me, and I talked you up—this great young guy who's following in their footsteps. They had about a dozen of these limited-edition DVDs left, and I scored one for you. Hey, where is Burbank?"

Dipper gripped the DVD case so hard his hands shook. "Thank you so much, I should have bought you a better—what? Burbank? Uh, down near LA, I think. Why?"

"'Cause they're adding a live-audience bit to each episode. They'll record that in a Burbank studio, and they'll show the audience the episode footage, then let the audience ask questions and react and all. So what are you doing on April 21st and 22nd next year?"

"I . . . don't know!" Dipper said. "Don't tell me there's more?"

"Got tickets for you, me, and Mabel to be in the studio audience for the recording of the studio part of the Mystery Shack show!" Wendy said, producing some colorful cardboard rectangles. "Got an extra one for Teek, too, but he has to see if he can make it. I checked, and Piedmont High's spring break runs from the fifteenth through the twenty-third. Trouble is, Gravity Falls's break is the week before, so Teek would have to take at least one Friday off—the taping's on a Friday and Saturday—"

"Teek will be there!" Mabel said. "I'll call him right now—no, it's eleven-thirty. I'll drive over—no, that might scare his parents. I'll text him! Dipper! We'll fly him down! Do you hear me? We'll fly him down! On an airplane! Do you hear?"

"Yes, yes, we'll fly him down!" Dipper agreed. The two of them could afford the price of at least a round-trip coach ticket.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" Mabel hugged Dipper, then Wendy, then herself. "Oh! Eleven-thirty-three! Don't move!"

She thundered up to the attic, spent a couple of minutes loudly rummaging, and then clattered down with Dipper's old acoustic guitar in its case. She thrust it at her brother. "It's Christmas for another twenty-five minutes, Broseph! Don't go all shy on me now. Wendy, you have to listen to his new song!"

"I'd love to," Wendy said.

Dipper made a resigned face, took the guitar out, and tuned it. "It's not very good," he warned.

"Dipper!" Mabel barked. "Don't! Be! Difficult! And don't tell us how bad it is. Just play. I want Wendy to hear this 'cause I really like it."

Sitting in front of the fire, Dipper fiddled with the tuning—his acoustic was not a premium instrument, and he really needed to replace the pegs—but at last he got the notes true.

He strummed the introductory chords and Mabel warned, "We're gonna sing, too, Dip!"

"I don't have a very good—"

"Nobody cares! You take the baritone, I'll do soprano. Go ahead. Play!"

Dipper went into the tune and he and Mabel harmonized their way through it:


All the Valley lies sleeping

Beneath a blanket of white,

A bright silver moon is gleaming,

On a still, cold, star-shimmering night.

Across the hills as we're dreaming,

Drift gentle and musical calls,

An old snowy owl is saying,

It's Christmas in Gravity Falls.

On our hearth a Yule log is burning,

And we sit warm in its light.

Outside not a Gnome is stirring,

In their caves Manotaurs all sleep tight.

The world, like a drowsy cat's purring,

Peace rules in the Shack's festive halls,

No mystery needs to be pondered,

On Christmas in Gravity Falls!

For miles all around, deep snow on the ground,

The kind that's as soft as a dove.

There's hardly a sound in this world we have found,

Though glory beams down from the sky—

Peace up above, for two people in love,

Let's celebrate, just you and I.

Here let us sit with our loved ones

On this peaceful and wonderful night,

The pine tree twinkles with colors,

The old Shack is buttoned up right.

We have friends and family and lovers,

Within these old comforting walls,

So let's all treasure this moment,

Our Christmas in Gravity Falls,

Bright Christmas in Gravity Falls.


Dipper wound up with three descending, lingering chords. "I wish it was better—"

"I love it," Wendy said, her green eyes shining.

He smiled at her. "It could be better—"

"Don't spoil this, Dip," Mabel said softly. "Put down the guitar. Kiss the girl. Wish her Merry Christmas."

And in the order Mabel suggested, that is just what he did.