A Very Vegeta Christmas

By: The Bubbles

Summary: When Bulma catches a cold, Vegeta is stuck doing the Christmas shopping on the (big booming voice) LAST SHOPPING DAY BEFORE CHRISTMAS!!! (coughsputtercough)

Disclaimer: Toriyama owns DBZ, not me. He probably never even intended to have Christmas in the DBZ universe. But such is the case.

A/N: In this chapter, Vegeta and Goku pick up Krillen, Chi Chi, and Piccolo's presents. There's also a surprise guest appearance from Piccolo, as well as yours truly, me, and my beta reader, Tocxica.

Oh. I guess it's not a surprise anymore.

Chapter 2

"All right, it looks like we'll get the short bald guy's present in this store."

Vegeta entered a Bait-n-Tackle shop. Goku followed, confused.

"Short bald guy? Do you mean Chaotzu?"

"No, not Chaotzu, the other short bald guy. You know, about yay tall," he held his hand above the floor for emphasis, "dots on his head, no nose to speak of? Marron's father."

"Oh, you mean Krillen!" Goku frowned. "You know, he's not bald anymore."

"So what's your point? Oh, here it is."

He had stopped in front of a deluxe tackle box kit, which came complete with fancy lures and a stereotype hat. Vegeta picked it up, examining it from all angle.

"I didn't even know he liked to fish," the Saiyan prince muttered.

"He's trying new hobbies," Goku explained. "Last month, it was pottery. The month before that, horseback riding."

"How very fickle."

(o.o.o)

(A/N- Be on the look out for my cameo in this section!)

"Let's see, this store is next." He guided Goku into the Bath and Body shop. "I'm supposed to pick up a deluxe home spa set for your woman." He frowned, checked the list, then frowned harder. "What is it with Bulma and deluxe gifts?"

"I dunno. Hey, what flavor does it say to get?"

Vegeta checked the list again. "Raspberry. Why?"

"Yeah! Yippee!"

Goku did an awkward sort of pirouette in mid-air (quite literally) and earned some Looks from various other customers. Vegeta's eye began twitching and he yanked his irksome rival to the floor.

"Would you stop that? You're beginning to embarrass me."

"Sorry, Vegeta."

He stood and brushed himself off. Vegeta grabbed the appropriate item and they got in line.

"Why are you so excited, anyway?"

"Well, you see Vegeta, when Bulma gets Chi Chi anything bath related and scented, I can always tell that she's been complaining."

"She always complains."

"No, I mean she's been complaining about me."

"She always complains about you, Kakarrot. What's your point?"

"Because she gets two different flavors. Since I'm allergic to eucalyptus, I know she's been complaining about me being underfoot. But if she gets raspberry…" he adopted a wink, wink, nudge, nudge look, "I don't spend enough time with her."

Being significantly more intelligent than Goku, Vegeta only took about .27 seconds to register what his rival meant, far less time than it would have taken had the roles been reversed. Immediately his eye resumed it's twitching. Goku cocked his head.

"You know, that twitching thing can't be healthy. You should probably have it looked at."

"It's your fault, Kakarrot!" He rubbed his temples and counted to ten. "I didn't need those images in my head. Now I'm going to have nightmares." He suddenly calmed down and smiled knowingly. "You know something, Kakarrot? Bulma never minds sharing with me."

"As fascinating as this conversation is," said a droll voice in front of them, "my shift is almost over, and I'd like to get out of here on time for once. Are you gonna buy that or just stand there talking about it?"

With a start they realized that they were now in the front of the line. The many people behind them were beginning to complain, and one guy even yelled for them to get a move on. Goku smiled sheepishly.

"Sorry, ummm…" he checked the girl's nametag. "Bubbles. Vegeta, pay her so we can go!"

Vegeta grumbled and handed over the gift and his credit card. She rung up the item for them. Vegeta grabbed Goku's arm and dragged him out of the store.

"Come on, Kakarrot, we're leaving. There are a lot more people on this list and we're running out of time."

(o.o.o)

(A/N- Be on the lookout for Tocxi's cameo in this section!)

"Ohhh, I'm sooo hungry! I haven't eaten in two hours!" Goku was leant over, clutching his stomach and complaining of hunger. "Can we go to the food court and get something to eat, Vegeta?"

Vegeta sighed in annoyance. He was beginning to regret bring Goku along with him. What in Kami's name had possessed him to do such a thing? Well, it was too late to turn back now.

"We've got to pick up Piccolo's gift in this store here. It's already wrapped and ordered, so we only have to pick it up. Then we can go eat. I'm getting hungry myself."

As if confirming this, his stomach shoes that moment to rumble loudly. Goku grinned and they entered the store.

"I don't think it should take long if we don't have to look for it," Goku said cheerfully. "Then we can go get food!"

They arrived at the front of the store and got in line. Vegeta counted twenty-seven people ahead of them

"This could take longer than you think."

Thirty-three minutes later, Goku lay sprawled on the ground, his eyes glazed over and his stomach grumbling loudly. Vegeta stood as far away from him as the line would allow, desperately trying to make it appear as if the two were not at the mall together.

"I'm soooo hungry! It feels like I haven't eaten in days!" Goku whined.

Vegeta rolled his eyes.

"It's only been a couple of hours!" Vegeta replied, his attempts to ignore Goku forgotten.

"But it feels like days," Goku insisted. He jumped up. "I don't think I've ever been this hungry."

"That's what you said yesterday. And the day before that, and the day before that, and-"

"No no, let me guess. The day before that, too?" They were at the counter, and the cashier was staring at them, annoyed. "Can I help you?"

"I'm here to pick up a gift that was placed on backorder."

"Right." She hit a button on the computer. "Name?"

"Bulma Briefs."

She typed this in, then scrutinized him over the top of her dark sunglasses.

"You're Bulma Briefs?"

"Of course I'm not Bulma Briefs, do I look like Bulma Briefs? I'm her husband, Vegeta."

"Oh." She hit a few more buttons on the computer. "I'm sorry sir, but your name isn't on the pick up list. I'm afraid that I can't allow you to pick up the package. You could be trying to steal it."

"What? That's preposterous! Look, I'll show you that I am who I say I am."

He began digging through the many pockets on his jacket and pulled out several random items, including but not limited to: a key ring with several key chains with no keys, a bag of capsules, an orange, a box of candy canes (which Goku stole at the first given oppurtunity), a book entitled 'The Straight Dope', three cans of yams, a half empty bottle of lemonade, four letters addressed to Piccolo and dated three and a half years ago, a rice krispie treat, a flashlight, a screwdriver, a length of rope, a cell phone, seven pens and four pencils, a portable cd player, a half-eaten cheeseburger, a Santa Clause hat, a frying pan, a rabbit puppet, a treasure map, a cat, and finally his wallet. He took out his id and handed it to the cashier before reloading his pockets. She scrutinized it closely.

"Well everything appears to be in order. But I still can't give you the package."

"Why not?"

"Because you aren't on the list."

Vegeta counted to ten, paused then counted to twenty. He was getting ready to blast the unhelpful cashier into oblivion when the phone rang.

"Excuse me a second, I have to take this."

She disappeared into the back room. Vegeta crossed his arms and tapped his foot impatiently. They could hear her conversation and they listened nosily.

"Hat's and Other Random Stuff, Tocxica speaking, may I help you? …Yes… yes…yes, that's right…ok, I see…ok, thank you very much…yes, ma'am." She returned, carrying a package wrapped in brightly colored paper. "Here you are, sir. All you have to do is sign for it."

"So you decided not to defy me, then?"

"No, your wife called and said you were on your way." She handed him a slip of paper. "Just sign here, if you will."

Vegeta did and as they were walking away, they could hear her talking to herself.

"What a pain those two were. I wonder if Bubbles has to put up with this kind of thing?"

Goku was not looking where he was going. As a result, he ran smack into a very large, very solid something that went 'oof' when he hit it.

"Ow, that hurt! What did I run into, anyway? Oh, it's you, Piccolo."

Piccolo it was indeed. The usually stoic Namek was looking particularly gloomy today.

"What's up, Piccolo? What are you doing here?"

"Christmas shopping." He held up a blue and white hat with #1 on the front. "Think Dende'll like this?"

"Uhh…" Goku inspected the hat. "I don't think so. Dende doesn't strike me as the hat wearing type."

"No… I didn't think so." He placed the hat on a shelf beside a stack of cookie tins, much to the chagrin of a nearby employee. "I've been in this accursed mall since it opened. I've searched through every singly store and I still haven't found the perfect gift."

"That long, huh?" Vegeta asked. "I wish Trunks put that much thought into what he got me."

For six years in a row, Trunks had given his father a festively colored sweater with a variation of the snow scene. Vegeta hated snowmen. He always blasted their heads off.

"You could get him a book," Goku suggested. "Dende likes to read, right?"

"I thought about that. Dende has plenty of books. Besides, a book isn't personal enough. I need to find him something that says, 'We're buddies and I'm glad I live with you and not Goku.' Um, no offense."

"None taken. Actually, I get that a lot."

"Not surprising. Look, I'll see you guys later. I'm going to go look through the stores again. Maybe I missed something."

He waved and left. Goku waved energetically until he had disappeared into the crowd, surprisingly unfazed by the large green man walking among them. Once he was gone, Goku turned to Vegeta.

"So. Can we go get food now?"

"Yes, Kakarrot, we can go get food now."

A/N- Well, I got the fly pen that I wanted, but my computer isn't cooperating with me, so I still have to type up the stories. I figure I'll finish typing the ones in my notebook, then move on to the fly pen notebook.

Anyway, I want to point out that I'm not going to go through every single stop they make, since many of them go off without a hitch. This is just going to be the ones that are worth telling.

After this, I'm going to post a short oneshot called 'What Happened When They Summoned Shenron' which should be up momentarily, and then I'm going to write a slightly longer oneshot about Pan and Vegeta. Be on the lookout for this story in the near future (and by near future I mean sometime in the next year. It's not even written yet, and I've been planning on writing it for almost two years now. ;3)

In the next chapter, we'll follow Vegeta as he picks up Bra's present, ditches Goku temporarily, and manages to get banned from the mall. At least, I think so. It will happen, but I haven't finished writing it, so it may not be in the next chapter.

I once had to dig around in my pockets for something at school once and I pulled out almost everything in this paragraph except for I think five things.