Photographs fade with time

By: K

Chapter two

Hitonari's POV.

We're playing. Outside. Four of us. The sun is shining.

It's a two against two. Me and Yamazaki against Kanemoto and Harumoto. No offence to Yama, but at some moments I wish it was Tachibana at my side… Together we are unstoppable. No one can beat us when the two of us really give ourselves to the game.

I run towards the other end of the court, perfectly catching the ball when Yama passes it to me. Dribbling past Harumoto who tries to block me.

I can feel sweat dripping down my face. My T-shirt sticks against my back. My hands are clammy, yet my grip on the ball doesn't weaken.

A perfect lay-up.

Quickly back to defend our own side of the court. Kanemoto passes the ball to Harumoto. Too late I notice his pose. Damn! His famous three-pointer…

I look up. Dark clouds cover the sky. No doubt it will start to rain soon. I notice the others also looking at the sky. As on cue, all of us stop.

"See you at training tomorrow."

- - - - - -

Damn! Not fast enough. Raindrops are slowly starting to fall down. I start running, but it's of no use. I'm soaked when I arrive home.

My wet clothes are off within a minute and I take a hot shower.

A quarter of an hour later I'm sitting on the ground before my bed, watching television. Not that there is anything spectacular to see… But I have nothing else to do.

The phone rings. I stand up. Who can that be?

"Hello?"

"Hitonari…"

Father… Not again…

"It's my last warning Hitonari. I will not ask you again."

I snort softly. As if you ever asked anything. You usually order me.

"The team you're in is worth nothing. You are. Come back. Apply to Hayamazaki so you can take your rightful place next to your brother."

I close my eyes. Hasn't he understood it by now? How many times do I still need to tell him that I'm not interested in what he wants for me? I'm happy here. In this team. Next to him. That's where I belong…

"I'm warning you Hitonari! Do not dare to bring any more shame over this family than you already have. If you keep on playing there, for that stupid team, you will have nothing to do with this house. If you stay there, you are no son of mine any longer."

My eyes are wide open. He can't mean that.

Without really noticing it I lay down the phone. He has hung up after his last warning.

I shake my head softly and sink down on the ground. He has put me before a major dilemma. I can't leave my family as if they are nothing. Yet I don't want to leave this… The team, the fun we have, everything we've done together. And I don't want to leave him.

Standing up I grab my coat and keys. I need to speak with him. Explain to him… I know he'll listen. He won't judge. I know he will understand.

I grin. He's so different than what he makes everyone believe. I need to tell him. He's my best friend. He has a right to be the first to know…

Five minutes later I'm standing before his door. Luckily it isn't raining anymore.

Can I just… Yes. My finger pushes the bell. No turning back anymore.

He opens the door. He

I know he'll probably make one of his sarcastic comments and mentally I prepare myself for it. That is until our gazes lock. Your eyes soften. So, you already figured out something is wrong.

"Come in…"

He steps aside and I walk inside. Knowing my way around, I've been here more than once, I go straight to the living room.

"Evening."

His mother is standing in the kitchen. She greets me back with a smile and a cheerful "Hey!"

We set ourselves on the couch. How to start? I can feel he will not start before I do. He knows I'll tell him everything anyway.

"I hate him…"

It's whispered so softly that there might be some doubt whether he heard it correctly. But I know he has. And he knows so to.

A nearly non-existing smile graces my lips. He hasn't noticed it. I'm grateful for his silence. It makes me more comfortable to tell these things. He doesn't interfere. He doesn't try to drag it out of me. He'll wait for me to tell him when I feel I can. When I feel I'm ready to tell…

"Why can't he accept my choices?"

I don't need to explain to you who he is…

"He keeps on nagging that I need to leave all this. That I could be so much better, so much more. Ha, he even told me, and I quote, 'that I should take my rightful place next to my brother.' What only means in the shadow of my oh so wonderful big brother… And, I quote again, 'Do not dare to bring any more shame over this family than you already have. If you keep on playing there, for that stupid team, you will have nothing to do with this house anymore. If you stay there, you are no son of mine any longer.' … That's when he slammed down the phone…"

I look at him. He's just sitting there. A surprised, one can even say shocked, expression on his face. It is as if he's at a loss for words. What? Him not knowing what to do or say…?

Sighing softly I bury my head in my hands. I can feel him shift his weight and suddenly his arm is around my shoulders. I tense a little because of the touch. Not that I don't like it, mind you. It's just that I didn't expect that kind of gesture of him. Within a couple of seconds I'm relaxed again and I lay my head on his shoulder. It's strange to be so near to him. Yet it is comfortable. And still I don't have the courage to tell him…

I close my eyes. Not wanting to let anything spoil this moment. I'd love to stay here. Next to him. In his arms. Sharing his warmth. I don't want to go… Damn my father for forcing me! And damn those tears for betraying me…

Wrapping both arms around me, he holds me close. It's only now that I realize I'm shaking and sobbing softly. His hands are rubbing my back, calming me.

Except for his "Come in…" has he said one word already? No. However his actions are way more reassuring than any word he could have said.

"I don't want to go…"

I know he can hear the pain in my voice. Because of my behavior I'm sure he already knows that I've taken my decision. The decision to leave and go home.

"I don't want to leave this, but I can't abandon my family as if they were nothing…"

Sitting up straight, I look at you. Neither did I want to leave the secure feeling of your arms holding me close.

My blue-grey eyes ask him for forgiveness and understanding. And he nods softly.

"I know. I would do the same. Beside… It's only a sport…"

I roll my eyes. Knowing he didn't mean that last one. We both love basket too much for it to be a mere game. I know he only tries to assure me that it's okay. Whatever I choose. It is alright…

Standing up I see photos lying on the table. But… That's me… This afternoon during the two against two match. My eyes widen a little.

"You made them?"

Once more he nods.

I pick them up and notice that my hands are shaking. Why are they trembling?

Looking through them I see a couple of series of me. A lay-up. Dribbling past the defense. Running while catching the ball. The other pictures are snapshots of the other three. And some photos where you can see the four of us together.

I've never known he loved photography. He's good though…

Looking back at him, I see he has closed his eyes. His head leaning back on the couch.

I gently nudge his shoulder. Brown eyes looking at me. Is that sadness and a bit of fear in his orbs?

"They're beautiful…"

I smile. It's a strange feeling. Trying to smile when you are actually too sad to force the corners of your lips upwards.

"You've got more of them?"

He doesn't say a thing. So is that a yes then…?

Suddenly he stands up and motions me to follow him. Guiding me to his room. I look at him. Non-understanding. I've been here before. Not once have I seen pictures.

He grins and pulls away the cloth against the wall.

Wha-…?! My eyes widen again. I can't believe it. There's another room. And here I was, all the time thinking that it was just some decoration.

He opens the door and I enter it. The darkness makes me stop dead in my track. A second later he's also inside and clicks on the light. The door is closed and he leans against it.

Before me are hanging some pictures. I take a close look at them. Me walking over the street. Me running through the forest. Me on the court outside. Me talking to someone. Me lying relaxed and smiling on the grass. Me on the beach… They're all of me.

"The others are in the closet."

I follow your pointed finger and take even more pictures out. Looking through them I discover more photos of myself and the team.

"You're good…"

Turning my head towards him, I can see surprise written all over his face. I can't help it and chuckle softly. I know… I'm not one to easily give compliments.

The shock ebbs away and he smiles, nodding his appreciation.

I look around the room. Can I? Can I ask him?

Our eyes lock for a couple of seconds. No. I can't do that. It wouldn't be fair.

Lowering my head I watch through the snapshots once more.

Taking a deep breath I look back at him, planning on saying something to break the tense silence.

"If you want some, you can take them…"

I know my eyes betray me, however I can't help it. I don't want to go. I know it's selfish of me, but I want him to give me a reason. If he would just ask me to stay, I will… And I want to tell him that. Yet instead I say:

"Yes. Thanks. I would like to have some. I only now realize that I don't have any photos of the team…"

I try to hide the sadness, fear and disappointment when a knock on the door guides me out of my thoughts. Looking over to him I can see that our minds were focused on the same thing.

He opens the door and I can see his mother stand there.

"It's already late and dark. Are you staying tonight?"

I look grateful at her.

"If it isn't to much trouble."

She shakes her head and smiles.

He quickly prepares the guestroom. It's right next to his chamber.

- - - - - -

Rolling from side to side.

Sighing deeply I sit up straight in bed. Quickly brushing away a lonely tear that's slowly rolling down. Even though no one is here to see it…

I'm fully aware that sleep won't come just yet. I can't help but to think about tomorrow afternoon.

I called Minefuji this evening. I had to explain her. She understood. Of course she did. She knows my father. And she knows me. She promised she would explain it to the guys tomorrow at training.

I swallow. I haven't even said goodbye to them…

Flinging the sheets away I climb out of the bed. Silently I open the door. Where am I going? What am I thinking?

I hold still before his door. I can't…

Without making any noise I open his door and enter his room. He's looking at me. Damn, I had hoped for him to be asleep. But then again, what would I have done were he not awake…?

I walk until I'm right beside his bed. Setting myself down on my knees I let my arms rest on the mattress. Laying my head on them.

"Sorry I woke you up…"

It's a soft whisper. And I see him shake his head.

"I wasn't sleeping."

The same whispering voice.

I don't say anything for a moment. Our eyes locked. It is like a spell. I find myself drawn into his orbs. I can't tear my gaze away. It will betray me if I don't act soon.

"Sorry I came in here… It is in the middle of the night after all…"

He shakes his head once again.

"It's okay…"

I sure as hell didn't expect that answer. Yet I can hide my surprise well.

He keeps on looking at me. His eyes questioning me, yet he remains silent.

I sigh and look away.

"I just didn't want to be alone…"

Well, at least that is half the truth… I can't tell him the real reason now can I?

He rolls over all of a sudden and flings away the sheets. I don't believe it… Is he…? He can't mean that… Is this reality?

I crawl in next to him and let him tuck me under.

Afraid that he'll guess my feelings, I close my eyes. Would I dare? Can I tell him? I don't want to loose his friendship…

I shiver softly and curl up a bit. The mattress shifts and I feel his arm on my waist. What is he…?

Opening my eyes I just look at him. It is now or never.

Slowly I inch my face closer to his. He doesn't pull away. Our breaths mix and a second later my lips brush over his. Soft. Gentle. Way too short.

I know my eyes are sparkling and when I see him smile at me, my heart jumps of joy. This time he's the one coming closer. Lips meet once more. With more pressure this time.

I can't believe this. He feels the same.

Mouths open. Tongues meet. It is a dance. Unknown by the both of us. Yet very familiar.

His hand abandons my side to gently touch my face, before caressing my hair. My own palm rests against his chest, there where his heart races.

Pulling away, our foreheads lean against each other. We're holding each other close and I can feel my heart break with the knowledge of tomorrow.

I've finally found him, only to let him go within a couple of hours…

- - - - - -

He's standing next to me. So close that I can feel the warmth he's radiating. However not that close that our bodies touch. Yet right now, there is nothing that I want more.

Soon it will all be over. There is so much I still want to do. So much I still want to say. Yet I know that I don't have the time anymore. Probably never will…

"When I've sent the message that I would return, I could almost see his superior, victorious grin…"

I know my voice sounds rough. Not difficult considering I'm trying to hold back tears. And all of a sudden I feel his hand grab mine, squeezing it gently.

Ask me. Just ask me and I'll stay. You know I will…

Please, say something. Just… Talk to me. Please…

The speakers crackle. Too late… It's time.

I tense and a couple of seconds later his arms are around me. Hugging me. Holding me close. And I unashamedly return the embrace. Not caring about the many people that are around us. Don't let go…

I look at him and see the little plea in his brown orbs. I smile and know that it is all the answer he needs. Our lips meet in the softest of kisses. Sweet kiss. Bittersweet…

We break of and the train arrives.

The doors open and I can see him take out an envelope. Pushing it in my hand he whispers something while choking back tears.

"Just in case… Don't forget…"

He hugs me once more and kisses me quickly before pushing me backwards. Surprised I look at him, but he turns his head away. Not fast enough however for me not to notice his tears. I close my eyes. Yes, I understand…

Quickly I get in the train, feeling tears roll down my own face. I set myself next to the window, wanting to see him as long as possible.

The whistle blows and the doors close. There is no way back anymore. I'll leave him behind. It is as if my heart is ripped out of my chest.

He looks back up and I press my hand against the glass. I can see him do the same.

The train starts moving.

"I love you!"

I can't hear you, however I can imaging your voice when I lip-read the words.

"I love you too!"

Soft whispered words… Tear filled voice…

I keep on staring out the window. My gaze fixed on nothing. I feel so empty… My mind keeps on wandering back to last night and this morning. To your arms around me and your lips on mine. I want it all back. I want you with me….

I'm snapped back to the present when the conductor asks my ticket. Only now I remember the envelope you've given me. What could be in it?

My eyes widen when I open it. The photos. I would have forgotten them. But you haven't. Thank you!

I take the snapshots I've selected out of it. Heaven guys, I'll miss you. All of you. Of course I'll miss him the most. None the less I'll never forget. Don't worry Akane, I won't forget…

Flipping through them I smile at the memories. Yet my eyes widen and my smile turns even sadder when I notice a picture of you. Surely your mother must have taken it. It is the last photo in the envelope… You're smiling. Truly smiling. I've never seen you like that. There is a sadness around you I've never noticed. Not until yesterday. … Wait… When was this picture token?

I put the other pictures back in the safe envelope and take your snapshot in both hands. Holding it against my chest. Against my heart. There where you belong. Always have and probably always will… I feel tears well up in my eyes again and I firmly shut them close. Not allowing them to escape.

When I open them again the woman opposite of me, looks at me with sympathy.

"You leave behind someone you love?"

I just nod. I know my voice will break down if I try to say it out loud. It would make it irrevocable …

"He must have loved you too… Very much in fact, I think…"

I stare at her, eyes wide open… He… How did she know? Has she seen me look at him when I whispered "I love you too!"?

"Just watch the other side of the photo…"

She smiles once more at me before returning to the book she was reading.

Turning around the photo I gasp softly. There's a text standing on the backside… I immediately recognize your messy handwriting.

My dearest Hitonari… When did he write this?

When you read this, you are on your way home. If you haven't arrived there that is… Aha, this morning probably. Or last night…

You know that I've never been good with words. Actions say so much more… Yet this time I'll try… He? Trying to express himself with words? Idiot!

I love you Hitonari! Ever since that first match, I know I can say I truly love you… That long? He has been feeling that strongly about me for so long? Well, I'm not one to speak. So did I…

I've grown used at having you by my side. And I'm afraid of what's going to become of me, of my life, of our team when you're gone… And I know for sure that I'll miss you like hell… I'll miss him too! And the team. But him most of all…

Still, my thoughts will accompany you and my heart will belong to none other but you… Is that a teardrop? He was crying while writing this?!?

See ya! Because I know we can't be separated forever… No, we can't. We won't! It was a mistake of me to leave… I can't miss you. Already it is tearing me apart…

Love!

Tachibana Akane

I look back up when I feel the gaze of the woman rest on me. Tears are rolling down, yet I smile. A true smile. And she answers it with one of her own. It is as if she knows what I feel and think.

Impatiently I watch the minutes pass by until we arrive in the railways station at home. Takuya will probably be waiting for me. How can I tell him? Tell him that I'm returning to Kouzu with the first train back? How can I?

He will not let me go like that, will he? No, of course not. Why would he…?

The doors open and I walk out. Immediately spotting my brother. I won't admit it or tell him, but I've missed him. I've always loved him. Always looked up to him. It is because of father's pressure that I've begun rebelling even against him…

"Hitonari! It's good to see you again. Come, they're waiting for you to come home…"

I smile sadly. I know he meant the first part of his welcoming. Yet I also know that the last thing isn't completely right… Father isn't waiting for me to come home. He's waiting for a kid to apply to Hayamazaki… That's all…

Swinging his arm around my shoulders, he hugs me close. He knows I've seen through his little lie. He also knows I know why he said it. He wanted to ease some pain… All I ever wanted was father's approval. Yet he never gave it to me. Only to Takuya…

He lets go and gently guides me towards the exit of the building.

"I'm not going home…"

It is a soft whisper, but he has heard it, for he stops dead still in his tracks. Turning towards me I spot and incredible sadness in his eyes. Sadness and… Understanding…?

Sighing softly he looks me in the eye.

"I know… In fact I was surprised when father told me you were. And when I saw you step of the train… "

I step closer and wrap my arms around him. Hugging him.

Something between a sigh and a snicker escapes his lips and he steps backwards.

"Go. You belong there. Next to him."

Surprise is clearly written all over my face. And he shakes his head softly.

"He's the reason you started playing again, isn't it?"

It wasn't really a question, yet I nod.

"You can't play without him at your side. Whether it is just basketball or something else I have not yet figured out, but the two of you are inseparable. I've seen you when you've been together. You smile. You are relaxed when you are near him. We do not have the right to take that away from you. You are happy there. And that is all that really matters. Don't you agree…?"

My eyes are wide open. And I can do nothing else but stare at him. He has never spoken so honest and so much to me before. But it is true what he said. Heaven, I can't believe he noticed it so easily…

"I love him…"

He nods. "I thought as much…"

I shake my head softly. He's unbelievable. Isn't he even a bit surprised?

His hand rest on my shoulder, guiding me towards the lockets.

"Come on, let's go buy you a ticket back home…"

I'm holding back tears when he pays for my ticket. He didn't want to hear any no's… I did protest though. It's not his task to buy me a ticket.

"What about father. He's not going to like this…"

I know he can hear the pain and fear in my voice. And for once I don't care. I don't have to pretend to be strong in front of him anymore. For he knows me.

"No, he's not going to like this. But he'll have to understand if he doesn't want to lose both of us. I'm not going to let him cast you out of the family because you follow your heart…"

Once more he amazes me with his comment. Shaking my head softly I tell him just that…

"I love you Takuya…"

The train arrives and he embraces me once more.

"I love you too! Never forget that!"

I shake my head against his chest.

"Now, off you go. Take care of yourself and give your team my greetings."

I nod and quickly get in the train. I'm going back. With my brother's blessing. I'm on my way back home…

I look out of the window and see the landscape pass by. Smiling I let my head rest against the cool glass. I'm coming Akane…

&TBC&

AN: well, one more chapter to go... Hope you enjoyed this one, and please, leave a review!!