tee hee hee. lookie everyone an update and it hasn't even been a week. Ok just to let everyone know: No I have not given up on "You Want To Use My Shower Because...?" I have just hit severe writers block with that story and am currently working on chapter 5; I will update my other fic this week (hopefully) but I may not be able to update anything for a couple weeks after that. Until after January 8 there will not be any other updates most likely so don't be afraid I'm not gonna die, I just won't be able to get to a computer. Wow this is a really long AN. gosh...

DISCLAIMER: I disclaim.


A hush fell over the room as a spotlight suddenly shone on a pedestal on the stage. A toad- like man and a taller not-toad-like man walked to the center of the stage and stood behind it.

"Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention please? My name is William Toddman and I am the chairman of the 'We Matter Too. Children In Need' charity and overseer of this event. It is with much pleasure that I introduce to you my assistant, Neji Hyuga. He will begin the auction."

Neji nodded and stepped up to the mike.

"Hello and good evening. I am Neji Hyuga and I will start the biddings."


He picked up the phone and dialed the numbers on the card. It rand three times before a bored female voice answered. There was the unmistakable sound of a popping bubble-gum bubble.

"William Toddman's office, this is Ino speaking. How may I help you?"

"Yes, Miss Ino, my name is Naruto Uzumaki and I am trying to get a hold of Mr. Toddman."

Naruto heard a sharp intake of breathe and a small squeal.

"Yes Naruto-kun, I'll transfer you right through but first I have a question."

Naruto sighed, exasperated.

"Okay Miss Ino. What is your question?"

"Are you really seven inches?"

"Yes, why do you ask?"

"Will you marry me?"

There was silence for a moment in which Naruto had put the phone on mute and began hitting himself in the head with it.

"Miss Ino, you said you had A question and A means one. You already asked your question so, if you would, please transfer my call through. It is rather important that I speak to Mr. Toddman."

There was a pause and Ino's voice came back on.

"I'll transfer you through now. Please hold and have a nice day."

He listened to horrible elevator-type hold music until there was a click from the other end.


He took a long drag from the cigarette between his fingers. He didn't smoke often, it was too expensive, but tonight he felt he needed it.

He leaned his head against the wall and blew out a smoke ring. A side door banged open and an angry voice shouted at him.

"No smoking in the building and are you even supposed to be back here?!"

Sasuke shook his head slightly as he snuffed his fag on the wall behind him. He stood up straight and walked towards the man, shaking his hips a little for effect. He stood right next to him as he blew into his ear.

"I'm for sale sweetie and somebody out there is buying twenty hours of my time. Unfortunately for you, you're not rich or lucky enough to afford this ass so I'll give you a little taste of something you can never have. Of course at a price." And he suddenly captured the man's lips with his own and quickly pulled out the guy's wallet.

"If you're ever on South St. look me up." And he walked away.


The man behind the desk fidgeted while looking at the man across from him. He pulled out a handkerchief and wiped the sweat off his brow.

"Mr. Uzumaki, you say you want to buy all twenty of the hours with Sasuke Uchiha up for auction?"

"Mr. Toddman, you seem like a reasonable man so how about five hundred thousand dollars…upfront."

Toddman pinched his arm and yelped in pain. So this obviously wasn't a dream but he couldn't figure out why Naruto Uzumaki seemed so determined to have this one particular 'item'. He scratched his chin before coming up with an idea.

"Mr. Uzumaki, you can't think I would sell this to you for so little. I mean, his time is certainly worth more than that. I'm sure I could get a better offer from someone in the other room."

Naruto looked determined and pulled out a check book.

"One million dollars and not a penny more and you are going to bring him to my estate yourself. Don't tell him who bought his time; I would prefer it be a surprise."

Toddman nodded his head.

"Sold to the man with the blonde hair and big checkbook."


He pulled out all the cash and tossed the wallet on the front counter with a note that said 'found'. He counted out exactly one hundred dollars.

Walking into the supermarket he dropped fifty dollars into the Salvation Army can and put the rest in his pocket. He grabbed a cart and headed for his favorite bargain foods.

Oh what he wouldn't give for a box of strawberry pocky but, alas, that wasn't exactly cheap and he needed this money to go as far as it could. As the cashier rang up his purchases she smiled at him in a way that was supposed to be seductive but instead reminded him a pig baring its teeth.

"I'm Sakura. What's your name?" he looked at her with disgust.

"My name is of little importance, but what is important is what I can give and do. A common slut like you wouldn't be able to handle my abilities so just give me my receipt and let me get on with my day." He said the last part rather coldly.

He grabbed the two bags and walked away leaving a bubblegum-pink haired girl staring blankly where the most gorgeous man she had ever seen in her life had been standing moments before.