Leonardo and Quayla stood stock still as they watched their master shuffle away, the couple's gaze slid sideways and they shared a look of regret. Their morning had begun so well but the day had wound up a disaster. They parted in silence and set about their evening chores, while Quayla put Jade to bed Leonardo checked in on each of his brothers who had all managed to respectfully disappear during their return.
Having seen Donatello and called Michelangelo who was apparently out visiting April, Leonardo finally found Raphael sitting cross-legged on the floor of their makeshift garage. His brother's head was cocked to one side as he peered into the chassis of his motorbike and grasped blindly behind him for a socket wrench. Leonardo bent down and smoothly retrieved it then tapped it softly against his brother's shoulder.
"Thanks," Raphael answered without turning, he merely peered closer at the bike as he took the wrench and began quickly tightening what must have been a loose nut. He let out a satisfied sigh when he'd finished. "That nut has been drivin' me nuts for weeks, each time I took her out I couldn't figure out what the rattle was."
Leonardo smirked and leant against the nearby wall. "Her?"
Raphael rose and patted his gleaming bike with pride, "Yeah, and I had ta treat my baby good for Valentines so she'll look after me."
"About that," Leonardo started then hesitated, unsure of how to begin or even if to begin. He crossed his arms tightly and decided against continuing.
Raphael narrowed his sharp gaze on his brother, "Spill," he instructed.
Leonardo grunted and face-palmed before replying, "I screwed it up. Big time."
"Jeez Leo, I know ya didn't forget, how the shell could you have screwed up from there?" Raphael asked in disbelief, his own bribe from his brother to stay out of the way this morning was still burning a hole in his pocket.
So Leonardo confessed the whole sorry day to his brother and when he finished and looked expectantly to Raphael, who had taken to leaning up the wall next to him, for some form of advice. He was more than a little annoyed to see him laughing.
"Why are you laughing? This is serious," he said indignantly, although he should have known better than to confide in Raphael now, the brother he had come to know in the future could be very understanding but this Raph clearly had a way to go before that.
"Sorry Bro, but I got this picture in my head of you sat drinkin' coffee like nuthin's up and Q with steam comin' out of her ears about to tear you a new one," he wiped his eye and took a few breaths to help the laughter subside. When he'd calmed himself he continued and sounded more sincere, "Seriously, what were ya thinkin'? If Splinter finds out Q won't be the only one mad at ya."
A disgusted noise escaped Leonardo's throat, "I know. I'm an idiot," he muttered and stared at his feet, he realised then that he was still wearing his disguise.
Raphael elbowed him hard making him look up, "Yeah, but you're our idiot. Look, I ain't gonna say anythin' just quit moping. We know you've been through stuff but it's over, we need the old Leo back now."
His brother's candour took him by surprise, they needed him? He wasn't aware he hadn't been fulfilling his duties as a brother and a leader, he had tried hard to maintain what he thought was normal behaviour. "I-I'm sorry, I'll do my best," he tripped over the words but he truly meant it.
Raphael nodded and pushed off from the wall, his gaze had refocused on his precious bike and he sat before it amongst his tools having spotted something else that didn't meet his exacting approval. Leonardo took that as his cue to leave but paused at the garage door, his brother was more understanding than he'd given him credit for.
"Thanks Raph," he added.
"Yeah, yeah," Raphael replied distractedly.
Leonardo ambled slowly up the stairs toward the bedrooms and crept silently towards Jade's room at the end of the balcony to listen for her breathing, it was slow and even indicating that she was already asleep. He backed away and braced himself for what he hoped wasn't another argument as he opened his bedroom door. He'd barely managed a foot through the threshold before Quayla dragged him inside with such force it sent the two of them crashing down towards their bed. She laughed breathlessly beside him and lifted the baseball hat he still donned out of his eyes which were wide with shock.
"Cute," a nervous laugh escaped him, "What are you doing?"
His wife took the hat off now and sent it twirling into the nearest corner, she grinned sheepishly at him. "I thought perhaps we could salvage what's left of the day," she cast a look down at herself and blushed, adding quietly, "I told you, you weren't the only one with a surprise up their sleeve."
Leonardo followed her eyes and gulped, he was suddenly staring at red satin, not much of it either. "Ohhh," was all he managed to utter initially then he shook his head, "I will absolutely regret this, but aren't you supposed to be angry with me?"
Quayla pretended to think for a moment and then tugged at his shirt so their faces were almost touching, "Furious," she whispered as he gave in to temptation and kissed her.
He pulled away moments later, "It's a shame we aren't alone."
"We're alone enough," she replied glancing around their empty room.
Leonardo fidgeted uncomfortably, intimacy was always awkward in such close quarters, "I'm not so sure," he swallowed, the usual unidentifiable hum that came from living with others still bubbled beneath them.
Quayla sighed and kissed his cheek, "It's okay, don't worry," she murmured half-heartedly and turned over, "Night."
"Night," he whispered, knowing already that sleep was going to evade him.
"Cute?" He asked softly, he was half hoping she was asleep by now. His arms were wrapped around her and he felt her wriggle slightly then turn her face towards him.
"Changed your mind?" She mumbled dreamily, she had probably been on the cusp of sleep.
Leonardo felt a pang of guilt about halting her earlier advances and brushed a stray curl out of her eyes, his fingers lingered on her cheek, "I love you."
She yawned and propped herself up on her elbow to answer him, "I love you too," she paused when she noticed his pensive expression, "What's the matter?"
"You were right," he replied, "I am afraid, terrified, in fact. I can't let myself be happy in case I lose it all again," he took an unsteady breath, "I'm not sure I deserve to be this lucky and I guess I'm always waiting for the axe to fall. When you died I was a mess, I thought living without you was my penance for wanting us to have it all." Quayla was biting her lip hard throughout his admission, he wanted to stop when he saw that his words were upsetting her but it was such a relief to say them aloud that he couldn't.
Eventually she spoke. "How many lives do you think you and your brothers have protected over the years?"
He frowned, unsure of why she would ask such a thing. "We've helped quite a few people I suppose."
"So why would you think you don't deserve to be happy? You're a good man Leo, an honourable leader and a loving father. It wasn't your penance, it was twisted vengeance dreamt up by a monster who couldn't comprehend love or honour and he's still getting his revenge if you don't move on and...and..." Quayla's voice broke on the last part and her dark eyes filled with tears soaking the lashes with crystal droplets that threatened to spill over.
Leonardo folded her into his arms again and rested his chin atop her head. "And stop moping," he finished her sentence with a little of Raphael's intervention.
"Exactly," Quayla's muffled voice came from against his plastron.
A commotion from downstairs suddenly drew their attention. They moved swiftly, Leonardo leapt nimbly from the bed, grabbed Quayla's silk kimono robe from the back of the door and tossed it to her. She wiped her eyes, slung it on and tied the belt tightly as they exited the room and peered over the mezzanine's balcony, the sound of raised voices and excitement increased but they couldn't pinpoint the location only that it was mostly Michelangelo and Raphael. Leonardo rolled his eyes and hoped it hadn't woken Jade.
When they reached the source of the noise it turned out to be emanating from the garage, Michelangelo and Raphael appeared to be engaged in a heated discussion, Donatello stood beside them trying to intervene, their arrival didn't seem to have registered with any of them. Leonardo cleared his throat loudly which prompted immediate quiet.
"What the shell is going here? You'll wake Master Splinter and Jade," He demanded and glared at his brothers.
Michelangelo, who was dressed similarly to how Leonardo had been earlier with the substitution of a beanie hat, crossed his arms and stood in sullen silence. Raphael did the same.
Donatello raised his eyes to the heavens and t'sked, "Oh for god's sake," he shook his head and addressed Leonardo, "Mikey went on a date."
The news did take him aback, he was pretty sure his mouth had dropped open a little and in that moment he was stumped. Quayla was still stood beside him and had said nothing up to this point, in family matters she always deferred to his leadership and stayed out of it but now she stepped forward and put an arm around Michelangelo, his little brother looked so grateful in that instant that Leonardo wondered if he might break down in tears.
"That's great Mikey, how did it go?" Quayla asked encouragingly and rubbed his shoulder.
"It ain't great Q; I caught him tryin' ta bring her back here!" Raphael snapped before Michelangelo could reply and followed his accusation with a pointed stare, "You can't just invite a stranger into our home."
Michelangelo shrugged Quayla's hand from his shoulder and folded his arms defensively. He glared at Raphael and then waved a hand wildly in Leonardo's direction, "But Leo did! It's not fair. I trust Alexis!"
"Mikey," Leonardo began gently, "It was a little different for us. Where did you meet her?"
He jutted out his lower lip and mumbled, "Internet."
Raphael threw his arms in the air in disgust; they came to rest on his head as he stalked away muttering incoherently. Donatello shot Leonardo a despairing look, he hated to see his family arguing and, like most older brothers, Leonardo didn't want to see his younger brothers upset. He acknowledged the plea and racked his brain as to how best to deal with what was already a delicate situation.
"I think it'd be best if Mikey and I go have a chat in the dojo," he tipped his head in its general direction knowing it was further away from their sleeping quarters and Michelangelo reluctantly obliged, as he passed Leonardo his usually cheery face was darkened by betrayal. Leonardo patted his shell as he passed and called out behind him as he followed, "It's late. You should all go to bed." His eyes connected with Quayla's and he sighed apologetically, they were finally talking and why was he only now noticing how nicely the silk of that robe fell over her curves? He dragged his eyes away with a guilty grin, recalling what she was wearing underneath it and shook his head, taking a deep breath to refocus before marching to the dojo.
Michelangelo stood in the centre of the tatami mats waiting for him. He looked to be trying to appear calm but his hands flexed nervously at his sides.
"Sit down Mikey," Leonardo instructed and did the same, he was weary now and wished Master Splinter hadn't been quite so obvious in his absence. "Tell me what happened."
Confusion flittered across Michelangelo's face that he was being granted a chance to explain and he quickly began recounting his tale.
"Well it started a few months ago, as you know I'm on a fan forum for The Justice Force," He paused and frowned at Leonardo's blank expression, "Dude, seriously? Anyway, so I got talking to this girl and she's like, as big a fan of Silver Sentry as I am! We talked all night about all kinds of stuff; she likes video games, comics and even jalapeƱo pizza. We talked every night after that, she's amazing bro, but then Valentine's Day was coming up and she's all bummed out that she's gonna be on her own so I had this crazy idea that we could go out 'cuz y'know, I was on my own too."
He sucked in a gulp of breath and continued. "I didn't think she'd show but she did! I took her to Antonio's and then we went for a walk and just talked and talked, she wanted to know where I lived so I showed her," he shrugged, "It's not a big deal, I made sure she couldn't see how to get here, that's why we came in through the garage, but Raph had to go all psycho so I took her back out and called her a cab. He's probably scared her off for good! That was my one shot Leo," he added with a tinge of sadness, "I really like her."
Leonardo rubbed his chin, a habit of Splinter's he'd picked up over the years and reserved for such occasions. "So she wasn't bothered that you're a mutant turtle, it was just a normal date to her?"
"Um," he ducked his head and avoided his brother's scrutiny, "Well I kinda told her I was the Turtle Titan and she kinda thought I was in costume so I went with it. If she gets to know me I'm sure it won't bother her."
"Mikey," Leonardo chided softly, "You know you can't start out on a lie and even April fainted twice when she really saw us for what we were."
The youngest nodded, his eyes were still downcast and his shoulders slumped in defeat. He took in a halting intake of air and pulled his knees up to his chin as if they could defend him from the truth. "But Cute didn't."
He sighed, Michelangelo was making this hard on both of them, "No, but she spent a lot of time in the Nexus, she said she'd seen far stranger things than me. The average New Yorker hasn't even come close to someone like us, of course it's possible for them to like us and be our friends but we have to be careful, some people are going to want to take advantage and some simply won't understand. You've got a big heart Mikey; don't let it cloud your judgement."
"You don't trust me," Michelangelo mumbled over his knees, "She'll understand. I know she will."
Leonardo thought for a moment, clearly as dejected as Mikey was he wasn't going to give up easily and if anyone could understand what he was going through it was him. "I think you should invite her over," he watched as his brother's face suddenly lit up, "I'll talk to Raph but you have to clear it with Sensei first, it wouldn't be right to hear it from me."
Michelangelo was practically fizzing with excitement now, "I'll message her tomorrow," he beamed and sprung a crushing hug on Leonardo which sent him crashing into the mats, "Thanks Leo. You're the best!"
"Woah," Leonardo extracted himself from the hug so he could once again make sure his youngest brother was paying attention, "You also need to be honest with her, give her a choice and be prepared to accept the answer."
He nodded vigorously and tried his hardest to appear sincere but an illuminating smile kept finding its way back to Michelangelo's face. "Any other advice?" he asked hopefully.
A cacophony of thoughts bombarded Leonardo at once, there were so many mistakes, what would he have done differently? Then it struck him, nothing. He would make every one again because he was still learning from them, although perhaps just a couple of small but difficult things would help his little brother learn faster.
"Be honest with yourself," The eldest replied and stood in a fluid movement, he gave Michelangelo a wry smile, "And don't waste a minute."
"Got it," he answered enthusiastically.
Leonardo jutted a thumb at the dojo exit, "Speaking of not wasting time."
Michelangelo stretched out happily and lay in the centre of the dojo as if he were about to make a snow angel. "Sure thing bro," he said dreamily, "I'm gonna stay here for a bit."
"Okay, night Mike," he couldn't help but smile even though he worried what the future would hold, the thought of having to console a heartbroken Mikey made a lump form in the back of his throat. He stopped halfway up the stairs, one hand paused on the rail, "I'm worried about the future," he whispered, had become like a mantra lately, it reminded him that the future was still in flux and it strengthened his resolve.
When he silently entered their bedroom he found Quayla sat in bed hunched over a book by candlelight, she was chewing at her thumbnail while the other hand gripped the spine of the book tightly. He smiled and tiptoed over to slip in beside her, that disturbed her concentration and she scooted closer still clutching her book as she rested her head against his shoulder. Leonardo circled his arm around her waist, "I thought you might be asleep."
"I decided I'd catch up on some reading," she stuck a worn leather bookmark into the text and tossed it aside, "What happened with Mikey?"
Leonardo craned his neck to see what she had been reading so intently. A dog eared copy of 'The Time Traveller's Wife' stared back at him accusingly.
"Leo?"
His attention snapped back to her, "Sorry. We talked, I suggested he invite the girl over but he has to ask Master Splinter's permission and explain to her that he isn't a cosplayer."
Quayla shot him a quizzical frown, "A what?"
"She thinks he was in costume. It's going to devastate him if she doesn't want to see him again," he exhaled deeply.
"Oh," she replied and began twisting the edge of the comforter covering them between her fingers, "Y'know, I hate to say it but I'm kind of with Raph on this one, isn't it a little risky inviting a stranger in?"
He nodded, "Yes, but I'm going to trust his judgement. He deserves a chance at happiness and I'd prefer it if he felt like he doesn't have to leave the lair to do that."
"You don't want him sneaking around like we did," she laughed and nudged him.
Truthfully he didn't want that. Yes, all of his brothers were old enough to make their own choices and their own mistakes but he didn't want them to feel like he had when he had first fallen in love, like it was something to hide. "As fun as that was, no," he grinned and added casually, "So how's the book?"
"It's sad," Quayla replied picking the book up and handing it to him, "Time travel causes them a lot of pain and heartache, I don't know if I want to read the end."
Leonardo turned the book over in his hands and after scanning the back cover dropped it on the floor beside the bed. "Then don't read it, we'll make up our own ending," he answered simply.
"How would you it end then?" she asked quietly.
He tugged at the silk tie gathered at her waist and traced a finger over the warm skin exposed there, she gasped and caught his hand then gave him a scowl at the temperature of it, it was always freezing in the dojo. Leonardo smiled apologetically and replied, "The traveller realises that time is irrelevant because it stops when he's with the woman he loves. He never leaves again and they live in a perpetual moment together."
"Hmmm," Quayla's expression was sceptical, "You haven't read it. The traveller doesn't seem to get a choice."
"Figures, but I don't need to read it; choice or not if he loves her then I know that's what he wants. It's what I would want," He leant back against the pillow and frowned, it made a small crunching sound. Leonardo ran his hand beneath it and came into contact with what felt like a square of card, he pulled it out and immediately realised what he was clasping. "Cute, I swear I looked everywhere for this," he exclaimed as he opened the now shell battered envelope, she made no attempt to conceal her amusement at having managed to outwit him.
The valentine's card was simple, it carried an age old sentiment but Leonardo wondered if there had ever been a more apt use for it, he read it over again, felt the weight and truth of each word, 'I love you more today than yesterday but not as much as I will tomorrow.'
Quayla spoke softly, "There will be tomorrows for us Leo, I can't promise you how many but worrying about them won't make the most of what we have."
He knew that she was right and again he wished for that unreachable off switch so he could embrace hope. In some respects the other timeline was easier because there was no hope left for the two of them, he was a father to their daughter and she was all he had left of her. But now he was wasting their second chance on second guessing, how many times during those dark, lonely hours had he wanted just one more day with his love? Would he have spent that last day worrying or would he have spent every ounce of his being making enough memories to last him a lifetime?
Leonardo's hand was warmer now; he found her jaw and coaxed it toward him. The scent of the jasmine fragrance she must have applied that morning still lingered and he kissed her neck to inhale more of it. When Quayla gasped this time it wasn't from the cold as he followed her collarbone with lingering lips. She returned the gesture and he moaned involuntarily, she snickered and shushed him before carrying on.
"Ahh, I don't, ahhh, care," he exhaled and shut his eyes as she moved beneath him.
"Oh really?" She teased, she was almost daring him.
Her face was level with his again when she spoke and he took full advantage, leaving them both needing air. It was suddenly easy to let passion override reason, he meant it, and he didn't care in that moment. "Really," he stated with as much conviction as he could manage being out of breath.
Quayla raised a delicate brow; her face was flushed pink against the viridian of his skin. "Hmm, we'll see about that," a coy smile played at the corners of her mouth, she snuffed the candles out beside their bed and they melted into the heat of the darkness.
