Chapter 2
The others surround Draco, fighting.
"You said we do appearances together, or not at all.'"
"I didn't say that. I said "wouldn't it be great if we could always, work together." That's what I said."
"Unbelievable."
"You are so full of shit."
"A few fans built a little set in their garage. I come in for an hour at most. It's a nothing."
"How much of a nothing? Not enough to split five ways kind of a nothing?"
"What do you want me to say, Harry?... They wanted the Commander."
Suddenly bright light streams in. They all turn to see Severus skulking out the exit. A beat, then they all run to catch Severus, tackling him.
Neville gets a thumbs up cue from a stagehand and begins to introduce the cast, to the delight of the applauding fans.
"Okay, here we go... Let's hear a warm welcome for crack gunner/navigator. Laredo, Blaise Zabini!"
Blaise comes bounding out with a big smile, his hair mussed. Behind him is a film clip of young Laredo in action.
(Film clip of Blaise as Laredo)
"If it's got quantum rockets, I can fly it."
"Ship's Tech Sergeant Chen... Ron Weasley!"
Ron strolls out with a casual wave.
Ron as Chen
"Give me a stick of gum and a hairpin and we're on our way!"
Harry and Draco are wrestling on the ground with Severus.
"Severus you can't -just leave."
"Oh can't I? Watch me!"
"Come on, old friend..."
"Friend. You stole all my best lines. You cut me out of episode two entirely!.."
"The beautiful shipmate Tawny Madison... Harry Potter!"
Harry takes the stage noticeably ruffled. In the film clip, Tawny Madison looks around the cabin fearfully.
"One hundred degrees and rising..."
Harry as Tawny is on
"It's... It's getting hotter, Commander.'"
Many "appreciative" whistles. Harry forces a smile.
"And now... The Commander's advisor and closest friend. His peaceful nature ever at odds with the savage warrior inside him, after witnessing the massacre of his entire species as a boy..."
A split screen shot of Severus, one mild mannered, the other a savage beast of vengeance, tearing into a foe.
Draco still in a wrestling match with Severus.
"You WILL go out there."
"I won't and nothing you say-"
"The show must go on."
"...Damn you! Damn you!"
"Dr. Lazarus of Tev'meck"... Severus Snape.
Severus bounds up on stage, bowing deep with grace and humility. The stage trained British actor.
Severus as Lazarus onscreen
"By Grabthar's hammer, you shall be avenged.'"
Severus cringes, desperately unhappy.
"And finally, my fellow Questarians, the brave Commander of the NSEA Protector... Peter Quincy Taggart... Draco Malfoy."
Draco appears and a spotlight follows him.
"Unbelievable. He rented a SPOT?"
Draco raises his fist encouraging the fans to cry out...
Draco/Draco on screen/everyone
"NEVER GIVE UP, NEVER SURRENDER... DAMN THE RESONANCE CANNONS, FULL SPEED AHEAD.'"
The fans go crazy. The actors exchange glances.
"The Commander and his crew will be signing autographs on imperial decks "b" and "c" near the coke machines."
It's quiet. four pairs of boots walking down the hallway. Five serious looking young people, 4 men and a woman, clean cut as Disneyland employees and impeccably outfitted in Galaxy Quest style uniforms. Something odd about them you can't quite put your finger on.. For now refer to them as the peculiar fans.
The peculiar fans as they enter the bustling convention floor, making their way past the numerous fans dressed as their favorite Galaxy Quest characters... through the various booths selling Galaxy Quest and other Sci-fi memorabilia, catching snippets of conversation along the way: They pass two elaborately costumed alien fans talking.
"...Yeah, I used to De Gark'nor of Ang but I got a rash from the chest pads so now I'm Sacnod from episode 5, which is fine except the transducer pinches when I sit down..."
... They pass a group of particularly earnest fans at a vendor's booth, also costumed as the five Galaxy Quest leads. Their leader, Seamus Finnigan, inspects a seller's model of the Protector, contemptuously.
"The tail fin is concave, not convex. The proton reactor is where the influx thermistors should be and.. my god... is this Testor's blue green number six on the hull? (drops the model roughly) I... I... This is a complete abortion."
With curious glances to this similarly uniformed group, the Peculiar fans move past, then come to a halt as they spot Draco, up on a raised platform at the front of the hall signing autographs for a long line of fans. The peculiar fans stare at Draco as to they were in the presence of God. They exchange astonished smiles, then start toward him...
Blaise, Severus and Ron sign autographs at a row of tables near Draco, but significantly lower than his perch.
"Is it me or does his table get higher every convention?"
One of many fans dressed as "Dr. Lazarus" steps up to Severus and salutes him with crossed fists.
"By Grabthar's hammer, by the suns of Warvan, I shall avenge you!"
Severus ignores this, grabs the photo from his hand, signs it, thrusts it back. The next fan steps up.
"By Grabthar's hammer, by the-"
He signs and thrusts it back before he can even finish.
"Next!"
Neville (the MC) approaches the actors at their tables.
"Hi everybody."
"Hey. Thanks for one nice intro... uh."
"Neville... You probably don't remember me do you?" (They stare blankly) I was on the show in '82. Episode 31? Got killed by the lava monster before the first commercial? "Crewman #6?"
The actors pretend that they remember him. "oh, right! Neville!"
"Listen, I was wondering, would you guys mind if I sit in today? See if anybody's interested in an autograph? Never know."
"Sure, Neville, If you can stand the excitement."
Two more fans dressed as Severus' character approaches him, proudly chattering at him in the Mak'tar language.
"Don't make me get a restraining order."
The peculiar fans are making their way through the crowd toward Draco. Something very strange; the left hand of the tallest one is flickering between a normal hand and a hand with seven long blue tentacles for fingers. The leader notices and motions to the afflicted man who raps sharply against a metal blinking box on his belt. The hand becomes normal again. He looks up, nods at the leader. From now on we'll refer to these 5 as the aliens.
At the cast table - Neville now sits with the others, forlorn. No fans are in line for his autograph. He watches as Ron fields questions from the group or fans led by Seamus.
"Mr. Weasley? In episode nineteen, when the reactor fused, you used an element from Leopold Six to fix the quantum rockets. What was that called?"
"Bivrakium."
"The blue sheath it was encased in-?"
"A bi-thermal krevlite housing."
Seamus makes a note, thanks him and exits with his group.
"How do you remember this stuff?"
"Oh I make it up. Use lots of "k"s and "v"s."
A male fan moves up to Harry, hands her a picture to sign.
"I'm a big fan Ms. Potter."
Harry looks at the photo, nonplussed.
"You really expect me to sign a naked picture of myself? This isn't even my body!"
"Yeah, normally with fakes it's like, recycle bin. But.. This one's really good." (Harry sighs, starts to sign) "Could you not write over the... Thanks."
A fan finally approaches Neville who looks up eagerly. The fan looks at him quizzically, trying to place him.
"Episode 12. (gets no reaction) Killed by the lava monster?.."
(Fan turns to Blaise)
"Laredo, could I get an autograph?"
Neville shrugs, disappointed. Harry gives him a comforting look, then looks across at Draco on his perch.
Talking dramatically to a group of fans. A young boy watches wide eyed.
"... On one hand, if I had moved an inch, the beast would have killed me. On the other hand, my crew was in danger..."
"How did you know what to do?"
"Without a crew, I'm not a Commander."
He pulls down on the kid's cap.
"And we all know what happened to that beast on Enok 7..."
The fans make happy nerdy "we sure do" noises.
Harry shakes her head appreciatively.
"You gotta admit, they do love him."
"Almost as much as he loves himself."
They watch as Draco fields another question from a fan.
"I'm glad you asked... To me the most important qualities of a Galaxy Explorer are loyalty..."
"...To camera center no matter whose shot you're blocking..."
"Leadership..."
"... To make sure craft service keeps those little butter cookies, and plenty of them-"
"And determination."
"... To playing scenes shirtless because the ladies do love Commander furry."
Harry, Severus and the others try to contain their laughter.
Bored with the constant queries of his fans, Draco glances over to see Harry smiling at him. She quickly looks away, self- conscious. Draco doesn't even take his eyes off Harry as Seamus steps forward, his brow knit with serious matters.
"Commander, please settle a dispute that my crew and I are having. In "The Quasar Dilemma", the Sentient had taken control of the ship's guidance systems, however-"
"Excuse me guys."
Draco exits. Seamus turns to his friends, frustrated.
"I hadn't even gotten to the relevant conundrum..."
Harry answers a question from a shy girl.
"Miss Potter?... In episode 15, "Mist of Delos 5?" I got the feeling you and the Commander kind of had a thing in the swamp when you were stranded together. Did you?"
"The Commander and I NEVER had a thing."
"That's her story."
Harry looks up to see Draco. The girl giggles and exits. Draco smiles at Harry.
"What?"
"You smiled at me."
Rolling her eves Harry rises and walks off. Undaunted, Draco follows, but runs into the five aliens. Their leader Cerdic bows respectfully, then follows along as Draco pursues Harry.
"Commander, I must speak to you. It is a matter of supreme importance... We are Thermians from the Klatu Nebula, and we require your help. I beseech you to come with us, back to our ship. A great many lives hang in the balance..."
"Right, If this is about the thing tomorrow you can hammer out the details with my agent, but make sure I have a limo from my house, they jammed me into a Toyota the last time I did one of these."
