Thanks, M Sherlock for beta'ing.
After Sherlock left the lab, Molly stripped off her gloves and put her head in her hands. Why did she allow this man to affect her so?
He had virtually ignored her for months, and suddenly now he was acting like they were the best of friends. She just didn't understand it. When he had asked about Tom, she had decided on the spur of the moment to test him, to see whether he might actually care for her. He hadn't reacted as she had hoped he would, when she had lied about her relationship with Tom.
But then, curiously, he had asked why she hadn't set a wedding date, and it had gotten her thinking.
She lifted her face from her hands and stared with unseeing eyes at the opposite wall, contemplating Sherlock's quite reasonable question to her. Realization hit her like a bolt of lightning. She had been trying to convince herself that she could be happy with Tom, yet she had constantly put off setting a wedding date. There was always some excuse, whenever Tom pressed her about it. Now she knew how unfair she was being to him. Seeing Sherlock today had showed her clearly that she was still in love with him, would always be in love with him.
She couldn't marry Tom. Not now, after this. Even if she had no future with Sherlock, Tom deserved better than being her fallback guy.
With a heavy heart, she forced herself to put her gloves back on and concentrate on the specimens in front of her. As soon as she was done with work she needed to see Tom. It wouldn't be right to break up with him over text. Fortunately she knew this was his day off from working in his dad's jewellery store.
Molly managed to do her little "assignment" for Sherlock during her lunch break. She had to face the fact that she would do anything for him. That, in and of itself, was a clear indication that she was still in love with the man. She also texted Tom to let him know she was coming to see him after work. He sent a return text asking if there was something wrong, but she didn't respond.
Fortunately, when Molly arrived to see Tom, he was the only one home. He still lived with his parents but they were both at the jewellery store.
Tom let Molly in at her knock and then asked, with a curious, yet not suspicious note in his voice. "What's going on, Molly? It's not like you to spontaneously decide to come and see me on a workday - not that I'm complaining of course." He leaned in to kiss Molly but she pulled away.
This wasn't going to be easy. "Tom," she said hesitatingly, twisting her fingers together in front of herself, "I'm so sorry to do this to you after all I've put you through, and how patient you've been with me." Her gaze dropped from his face to the floor, and she swallowed, knowing she was about to break his heart.
She glanced back up and saw Tom's expression darken, as he crossed his arms in front of himself defensively. "If you are about to say what I think you are going to say, don't bother. I've been suspecting for a while there's someone else, despite your denials."
His words surprised her. He had given no indication of his suspicions and she flushed. Had he seen this coming before she had even known it herself?
She shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other. "It's not what you think, Tom. I'm not seeing anybody else." She looked down at her still restless fingers, and took a deep breath before bringing her gaze back to his now suspicious one. "But there is someone who I tried for a long time to forget. He was out of my life when we met, and I didn't think I'd ever see him again. You and I were already engaged when he came back into my life. I thought I was over him, and I tried so desperately to forget him, but I just realized I'm being unfair to you."
She lifted an arm to put a hand placatingly on his arm, but he shrugged it off, and it fell back limply to her side. She bit her lip and continued, feeling the words dragged from her mouth. "I've never been able to give you my whole heart because part of it has always belonged to him." She felt tears come into her eyes as she saw the hurt in his.
He lifted a hand to rub his face as if trying to comprehend what she was saying to him.
Her lips trembled and her voice wobbled as she continued. "I'm so sorry, Tom. You deserve better." With that, she pulled off her engagement ring and held it out to him.
Tom remained standing in front of her, unmoving, ignoring the proffered ring. They looked at each other for several seconds without speaking, until finally he said,"It's him, isn't it? Sherlock Holmes? I know he was out of London for a long time, and it seems things got weird between us around the time you introduced me to your friends." There was both hurt and resignation in his voice.
Molly hung her head in shame, even as she continued to hold the ring out to him, wishing he would just take it already. She couldn't even look at him anymore so she directed her words somewhere in the vicinity of his shoes. "Please don't think too badly of me, Tom. Sherlock and I, well, we have a kind of history together."
She forced herself to look back up at him again, realizing for the first time how much he towered above her. "Don't get me wrong. There's never been anything more than friendship between us, my feelings for him have always been one-sided. I really thought you and I could be happy together. If Sherlock hadn't come back, I'm sure things would've been different."
Oh God, this is so hard, she thought to herself as tears pricked her eyes once again.
"You're a good man, Tom, but you deserve someone who can give you their whole heart, and I don't have that to give to you." And now, tears began to fall freely down Molly's face.
Tom finally took the ring and shoved it into his pocket. His voice was cold as he said, "I guess I should be grateful that you at least told me in person. I suppose you never wanted to have sex with me because you were still hung up on...him." The words were meant to be hurtful and they stung, as he intended them to.
Molly shook her head, brushing her tears away with one hand. "You know that's not why, Tom. I told you about my faith and that I wanted to wait until we were married."
"Guess you'll be a virgin till the day you die then, won't you, if your love is one-sided? So good luck with that," hissed Tom cruelly. "I should've just broken up with you as soon as I found out you were one. Thanks to you, I haven't had sex in God only knows how long. You've led me on for months."
She took an involuntary step backwards at the vitriol in his words. "I wasn't trying to," she sobbed, even as she understood his anger and knew she deserved it.
"You've said what you came to say, so now you can just get out," said Tom, and his voice was hard, dismissive. He pointed at the door to indicate there would be no more conversation.
"I'm sorry," whispered Molly brokenly as she turned on her heel and left his place for the last time.
She stood outside his front door for several minutes, trying to compose herself, then hailed a taxi and gave the driver instructions to head to Baker Street. While her heart ached for Tom, and his understandable anger towards her, she knew she had done the right thing. She also knew that there would never again be anyone for her besides Sherlock. Even if they were never anything more than friends, his friendship meant more to her than the love of any other man, and she would just be content with that. Perhaps she would buy a cat to replace Toby, who had disappeared shortly after Sherlock had stayed with her following his faked death.
Taking a deep breath, Molly pulled out her phone and sent a text to Sherlock to let him know she was on her way. His answering text came back almost immediately, instructing her to head straight upstairs when she got there, that the door would be open for her.
Suddenly she felt as if a burden had been lifted from her heart. For so long she had been trying to do the right thing, to convince herself that she should remain loyal to Tom. Now she knew that had been a mistake and that she should have broken things off with him immediately after she realized she still had strong feelings for Sherlock.
She understood that part of the reason she had tried to make things work with Tom was because she wanted a family of her own. Now she realized that having a family with Tom would not have made her happy. Her true happiness would always lie in time spent with Sherlock, in whatever capacity that happened to be. She would be content with that, just having him back in her life on a more regular basis, if indeed he even wished for that.
As Molly climbed the stairs towards 221B a short time later, she wondered idly weather Sherlock would notice the lack of an engagement ring. She decided she was not going to bring it up on her own. That might mean him asking some questions that she would prefer not to answer. The one thing she knew for sure was that she would never want Sherlock to feel pressured in any way to examine his own feelings for her. If he wanted a relationship with her that extended beyond friendship, it would have to be something he decided for himself. Regardless, she would cherish every moment they spent together, and she would love him unconditionally.
Sherlock opened the door before she knocked. He had obviously heard her footsteps. Why does he have to always look so handsome? she wondered to herself, as she held out the folder to him.
"Hi, Sherlock. By my calculations, you should be able to tolerate 443.7 mL at each pub if you want to maintain a lightheaded feeling throughout your pub crawl," she said brightly, trying not to show any outward sign of how he affected her.
"Thank you, Molly," Sherlock said, taking the folder from her. "Are you planning on just staying in the doorway or are you going to come in?" he asked, moving away from the door to invite her entrance, and Molly stepped into the flat.
Author's note: Well, it was about time Molly broke things off, wasn't it? At least in this story Tom won't have to suffer the indignity of having his hand stabbed with a fork during the wedding reception!
I hope you enjoyed seeing Molly's POV and are looking forward to the discussion ahead.
