The Hug
Clary was on her way to have breakfast, still thinking about what Alec had told her the night before. She ended up thinking about him, about what he had said to her, from the moment she left him until she fell asleep. If she thought things would change in the morning, she was wrong. She had seen some things, and Alec had done things around her, for her. Had she just misinterpreted them?
She realized as she was walking that she had almost forgotten about Jace. She shook her head as she walked. She needed to focus on Jace. He was what mattered just now.
She was so consumed by her thoughts as she walked that she had paid no attention to anyone around her, at least she paid no attention until someone grabbed her arm and said "Clary!" as he pulled her to face him.
Clary was startled. She gave him a push on his chest with her free hand and tried to take a step back. The she realized who it was.
"Simon!" she said as she shook her arm free. Then when she saw how startled he was at her reaction, she quickly apologized.
"Sorry, you just startled me." She realized that while she had thought about Alec and Jace all night, she had completely forgotten about Simon.
"It's OK," Simon said, pulling her into a hug. She didn't resist, she even found herself returning the hug. Simon's friendship was something normal and she needed some normal just then.
He didn't release her right away, and she began to think about pulling away when she heard Simon speak to someone behind her, his tone surprising her.
"What? Got a problem?"
Clary did pull away now. She glanced at Simon, a little confused by his expression. Then she turned around and saw that Alec was glaring at him. Isabelle stood next to Alec, her eyes moving between her brother and Simon, watching them curiously.
Alec didn't respond to Simon, but held his eyes for a couple of seconds before looking at Clary.
Alec's expression was still hard when he spoke to her. "Come and find me when you can..." He shook his head before adding "when you can pull yourself away from him."
Alec turned around and started walking away. Clary could hear Simon draw in a breath as if he was going to say something. She quickly turned back to him. "Simon, don't!" she said, raising a finger in warning. She then turned to look back at Alec. he was just turning to walk into a hallway.
Isabelle had been watching him, but she turned to Clary now. "Clary, what the..." she began, then left to follow her brother.
Clary felt herself closing her eyes and sighing.
"Who does he think..." Simon began before Clary cut him off.
"Please don't," she said without even opening her eyes. She took a breath before turning to face him.
"Clary?" Simon said as she faced him. His face was confused now.
She sighed, closed her eyes again, and shook her head. Then she looked at him.
"I'm hungry. Come and get breakfast with me?"
Simon smiled a little, though he still looked a little confused. She started walking, without waiting to see what he would do.
The Feelings
"Do you want to explain what just happened?" Isabelle challenged as she caught up with Alec.
Alec kept walking, though he really had no destination in mind. He just wanted to put distance between him and Clary. Well, not Clary, really, just the sight of her and Simon. Mostly he wanted away from Simon. "Do I look like I want to explain anything?"
Isabelle tugged at his arm to get him to stop. Then she turned him to face her. He was not resisting at all.
"Alec, we need to talk to Clary. So Simon was there - so what? It's not like he doesn't know what we're doing here."
Alec looked at her but really didn't see her. Maybe he should just go back to his room and start this day over.
Isabelle was still talking. "Do you know what you acted like? You acted like a jealous..." she said, before cutting herself off. Her face softened. Before it had shown irritation which did not surprise him. Now it showed compassion.
"Oh, Alec," she said quietly.
He decided that his room was the definitely place to be. He turned and started walking again.
Isabelle kept up. "You should talk to her, I mean, if you really..."
"I did talk to her," he said shortly.
"Then you should talk to me. Alec...please."
He stopped and turned to her. He kept control - he always did. "And say what? What do you want to hear?"
"I want to hear what you feel," Isabelle said. "You should talk to someone about what you feel."
Alec stared at her. "I feel that we have a mission tonight. I felt that Clary might want to come with us, might help us. I'm not so sure anymore."
"There is the mission," Isabelle agreed, "and she should come with us. She would want to. But..."
"Then maybe you should tell her about it, then tell me if she's coming." Alec headed for his room, a little relieved that his sister did not follow him.
The Effect
Isabelle found Clary with her mother and Simon. It looked like they had been eating breakfast together, but now were just talking. Really, Simon was talking to Jocelyn. Isabelle kept her distance and waited for Clary to see her, then signaled for Clary to come to her. She was relieved when Clary excused herself and joined her.
Isabelle watched Clary as she approached – the red-head looked a little unsure.
"Isabelle," Clary said, but did not continue.
"Alec asked me to talk to you," Isabelle said. "He was going to tell you when we saw you this morning, but…" She let the word hang.
"But Simon," Clary said. Isabelle only nodded, so she continued, "What was he going to say?"
"We have a mission tonight." Isabelle said. "We could use your help, if you're willing to come."
"My help?' Clary asked. "I've never thought he thought I would be good enough."
Isabelle considered her reply. "He knows you're training hard. It was really more my idea. Anyway, it's not supposed to be a fight, just some recon."
Isabelle looked at Clary expectantly.
Clary nodded. "OK. Tell him…" but was cut off by Isabelle.
"You should tell him yourself."
Clary was trying to think of a response when Isabelle spoke again. "Clary, what happened between you and Alec?"
Clary cringed. "You were there."
Isabelle let her annoyance show as she said, "I was, and I saw the way Alec acted when he saw you and Simon. I mean, what happened between you two that would make him act like that."
Isabelle didn't continue, so Clary asked, "Did Alec say anything?"
"He said you two talked, but did not elaborate. Maybe you would like to?"
"Elaborate?" Clary repeated, then shook her head.
Isabelle just looked at the other girl for a moment, then sighed before speaking softly.
"You know Alec, Clary. He doesn't...talk about much other than training and missions."
"I know," Clary whispered.
"Plus, things are hard for him right now – Jace, whatever is going on with Magnus, Lydia, our parents. He's having a hard time, but he keeps it all inside. He does what he thinks he should, what he thinks he needs to do, and he still only talks about training and missions."
Clary looked down, unable to say anything.
"So if he said something to you, something about what he feels, you need to know that it's serious." Clary looked back up into Isabelle's eyes as she continued. "Please treat it that way, don't treat it lightly."
"Of course not," Clary said quickly. "I understand."
Isabelle stared at Clary long enough to make the red-head uncomfortable. Then nodded as if satisfied.
Clary wondered what else she could say when Isabelle's expression began to change from serious to a smirk of amusement.
"So," Isabelle began, "Do you have this effect on all of the guys around you?"
Clary did not understand. "Effect?"
"Does every guy you spend any time with fall in love with you? Like at your school? I wish I could have seen…"
"What? Love?"
"Everyone I've seen you with – Jace, Alec, Simon…"
"Simon?" Clary repeated. "No! We're just friends!"
"Of course there was Raphael – I'm not sure he fell in love with you." Isabelle seemed to be talking more to herself than Clary.
"He's a vampire!"
"Of course he did bring Simon to you, let you choose his fate. Maybe it was some kind of love offering."
"Isabelle!" Clary cried.
Isabelle's expression suddenly turned hard. "Stay away from Meliorn!" she demanded sharply. Then turning to leave she added, "And don't be late for training."
As Clary watched Isabelle leave, she was startled by a voice from behind her.
"What was that about?" Jocelyn asked.
Clary took a moment to calm herself, then turned to her mother. She could see Simon approaching as well.
"I need to catch her, tell her something," she lied quickly. "Stay with Simon for a few minutes?"
Clary did not wait for a response, she just left quickly.
Working and Figuring
Alec heard the knock on his bedroom door. He wasn't sure whether to hope that it was Clary, or that it wasn't her.
"Who is it," he asked.
"It's me…" the voice hesitated, "It's Clary."
Alec sighed. "Come in."
As she did, Alec stood up. "Do you want to sit?"
Clary forced a smile and said "Sure", sitting where his indicated. He pulled up a chair and sat facing her. Then he just looked at her expectantly.
"Isabelle told me about the mission tonight." When he only nodded, she added, "I'd like to come with you."
"Did she tell you what it is?" He asked.
Clary shook her head. "She just said 'recon'." Then she forced another smile, "Six eyes are better than four, right?"
Alec only nodded. She hoped he would say more, but he didn't. She sighed and said, "Alec, about Simon…" though she didn't go on.
"What about Simon?" he asked.
Clary was a little relieved that he had finally spoken. "He's been my friend forever," then she hesitated, wanting to be careful about her words, "but that's all he's ever been, that's all he is. Nothing more."
"Does he know that?" Alec asked.
"Yes, I mean…" Clary was suddenly flustered. "I've never said otherwise. He has to know."
"Don't be so sure," Alec said to himself. The he spoke to Clary, "If that's true, he's pretty clingy."
Clary grimaced, "I'm starting to notice." Then she sighed. "I'm sorry you saw that hug – I just did it, and I didn't see you…"
"It's fine," he said quickly. "I have no right to expect anything from you."
Clary sighed and wondered if he was really understanding when he continued. "I've told you what I feel – what I think I feel. What happens next is up to you."
Clary nodded. "And I've told you what I feel – or felt yesterday." Then she repeated herself, "Simon and I are just friends - nothing more. Please believe me." She wasn't sure why she felt so desperate to make him understand.
"I do. I feel the same way about some."
Clary wasn't sure she believed him but she nodded. "We both have things to work out, Alec. Jace, Magnus, Simon – maybe more?"
He just stared at her, so she continued, "And there are things to work out between you and me. I want to do that."
"But first is getting Jace back," Alec said. There was no emotion in the statement.
Clary looked down at her feet, took a breath, then looked back into his eyes. "That's what I said yesterday. I'm not so sure about that anymore." She could tell that what she said startled her. "I still want to do everything we can to get Jace back – I couldn't live with myself otherwise. But maybe we can figure out some things, work out some things between us along the way."
Alec smiled, and she wondered when she had last seen him do that. Relieved, she asked, "So who gets a date first – Magnus, or me?"
"Magnus has offered a drink 'sometime'. What's your offer?"
Clary shrugged, stood, and walked toward the door. Alec rose and followed her. She stopped as she opened the door.
"Recon?" She asked, "Tonight?"
"It's a date," he replied.
She turned around and pulled him into a hug. She could tell that it startled him, but he returned it. She felt the same feeling she had when he pulled her to him to keep her from the portal, the feeling she had tried to described to him the previous night – she felt safe, secure, that this was where she belonged.
It took some willpower, but she pulled herself way, turned, and as she left said, "Don't be late."
