A/N: And here's the first chapter! Special thanks to the first 3 reviewers!
FYI I don't read the light novels (and can't seem to find it on the internet), I only watch the anime so if there are any details from the LNs that I missed, I want to tell you guys that it is intentional. Try to think of this story as an anime-only continuation.
'. . .' Thoughts
". . ." Outspoken words
". . ." Outspoken words - Flashback
UPDATE August 23rd: Fixed tenses (I failed to notice some leftover present tenses, with this update I changed all of them into past tense. But please point out any mistakes you see, I'm still learning after all), and added a little bit more details (not really necessary to be read).
Kousaka Kyousuke.
If there's any need to describe, he was a normal high-school graduate, with a mundane daily life, and an obsession with 'mediocrity'. He lived in a normal household, with his parents and his little sister. To him, being 'normal', or just like the majority, is the calmest way to live life. He didn't really want any life-altering occurrence to happen in his life, all he wanted was to be relieved of any kind of problems, and live in an ever-stagnating environment. Wishful thinking.
But everything changed two years ago, ever since the perfect and flawless Kousaka Kirino; his sister who he had always seen as the star of everything, revealed her secret otaku hobby to him, not excluding her love of little-sister-themed eroge. The unveiling of the never-before-seen side of her marked the start of their 'life-counseling' sessions. And from that point on, things changed dramatically. With her forceful demands of Kyousuke's help, he had to say good bye to his dream of having a normal life. He could no longer be the normal guy he once was, and once longed to be. Not after he fought his father to defend his sister's indecent hobbies, lied to his first crush (and got hated by doing so) on behalf of his sister, got into a relationship (and later broke up) with his sister's otaku friend, and quarreled with his now-former best friend.
Not after.. he rejected the world's best girls.. because he ultimately had fallen in love.. with his own little sister…
'Ever since then, everything got soo messed up.' The soon-to-be college student recalled his unredeemable past as he drifted into his memories while lying on his comfortable couch.
'Well, you can't change the past, right? And it's not like I regret it or anything.' A half-truth, one might expect. Like hell there existed a guy who didn't regret breaking 3 girls' heart for his seemingly immature, childish infatuation for his own sibling. Not only that, but he also lost his childhood friend, whom at the same time had always been his best friend that was always there for him. Adding salt to the wound was the fact that he broke his first crush's heart to such an extent, where the meaning of the sentence shaped by her lips after he rejected her, left Kyousuke disturbed up to this day, still unable to fully process and understand the true meaning of it.
'I.. I need to make up, with all of them..' The only one of the three to actually accept his relationship with his sister, even though hurt at first, was his once-lover, Kuroneko. Though how far did her 'acceptance' go still remain to be questioned.
Actually, it's been 2 weeks since Kyousuke and Kirino made a certain promise, the promise which ultimately concluded their abnormal relationship. They promised that once school was over, and they graduate, they would return to their normal life, have a normal sibling relationship, and repair the bond with their friends, and with each other.
Saying that Kyousuke had moved on from his love for Kirino would definitely come off as a lie, but saying he was still in love with her didn't go out as a truth either.
'I might still be in love with her, just.. more in a sibling way?' Even he himself was still unsure of it, unsure of what to do next. All these bizarre turns of events always left him mentally fatigued every time he remembered it.
But despite his lasting confusion over his feelings for Kirino, lately there was something that had been troubling him more. He couldn't really describe it, but there's this some kind of 'emptiness' in his chest that just won't go away, no matter how he distracted himself. If he had to guess, the main source would probably be his promise with Kirino. When they were still in a relationship, Kyousuke's thoughts were full of Kirino. For Kirino, Kirino, and Kirino. All his feelings were diverted and dedicated only for her, that's probably why he didn't have this 'emptiness', for his heart was full of her. It wasn't that they got distant after the promise, in fact, their relationship stayed the same, just excluding anything lovers would do. Kirino was still his arrogant, cheeky little sister, but the fact that she was no longer his girlfriend probably left him with an invisible hole in his chest.
'But this promise is what she wanted right? I need to respect her decision, and be content with it.'
This wasn't the first time he thought of such sentence. Being the caring brother he was, he always spoke that sentence in his mind whenever he thought of Kirino's current feelings. He didn't dare to ask her directly, fearing of whatever occurrence that might follow.
Before the start of this irrevocable affair, Kyousuke had things that just might be able to fill in that hole in his heart. He had a best friend that was always there to give him what he needed, to always hear his problems and instantly come up with solutions for it. Back then, he had Tamura Manami.
And he also had another friend, not so much as a best friend, but a friend whom he shared many memories with. Maybe not all of them are good memories, but he treasured them nevertheless. Especially the memory in which they spent 30-days together, joking around, bickering, teasing and making fun of each other. With some occasional happening of foot-in-the-face for him, if he ever went too far in his jokes. A rare event occurred one day, where he happened to be able to dodge her kick. Albeit surprised, that alone wasn't enough to stop her in her tracks, because what followed suit was a 'run for your life' act, which gave the two an appearance of that of cat and mouse, chasing and screaming around the apartment block, as if no one was there to see or hear them. Back then, he had Aragaki Ayase.
'Ayase and Manami, do they still hate me?' He wasn't expecting to get an answer, but just hearing someone say 'No, they don't' would probably be able to at least relieve him off this building emotions and rising burden, even if just the slightest bit of it.
He had been planning to reconcile with Manami, all he needed was some courage and reasoning to be able to explain things carefully and successfully.
'If I tell Manami about the promise Kirino and I made, I might just be able to pull it off. Though I kinda doubt Kirino'll let me. If anything, she definitely hates her.' Looking back, Manami was the one who once stood as the one-and-only 'final boss' standing between Kyousuke and Kirino. She was the one who tried to drag them back to reality, spouting things such as what they had was incestuous, and therefore would not be socially acceptable. She also mentioned that their parents would definitely be against it, and what they had wouldn't last forever. Despite his retorts back then, Kyousuke surely knew that much. Knowing their parents, if they ever found out, they would definitely give him and Kirino harsh punishments, if not separate the two for all eternity.
'Maybe things just won't go back to the way it was with me and Manami.' Even with the regrettable memory of their last meeting, for some unknown reason, it unexpectedly didn't leave any meaningful impact to him. Just when he started to wonder why, the answer crossed his mind.
'…Or maybe we actually can, who knows right? I haven't even tried yet.' To the sudden emerging of the positive side of him, he chuckled. And the fact that she was once his best friend simply helped him out even more, since the term "ex-best friend" is truly rare, if not non-existent, in reality. Especially counting the time they've been together up until then.
But that chuckle slowly turned into a smile, diminished into a faint smile, and disappeared without a trace, as soon as he remembered the after effects if the developments actually take place.
'…If Kirino found out about it.. What will happen then?' The not-really-welcomed image of his sister arrived in his mind as he thought about it.
'Will she get mad? Will she even go as far as to ignore me once again?' The thought went further than he expected, concern started to gather as he dived deeper into his mind.
Until now, Kirino had never mentioned anything about Manami. So it was either she didn't really care, or she just absolutely hated her. Though knowing Kirino, it's probably the latter. Even so, that didn't seem to be enough to stop Kyousuke from making up his mind.
'I guess there's no point in thinking too much about it, if Manami actually manages to forgive me, I'll just try keeping it a secret from Kirino. And if she finds out anyway, I'll deal with it later.' With a burst of confidence, he decided his next course of action. Yeah, he was never really the man who overthinks the future. If something was going to happen later, he'll deal with it later, simple as that.
But then he realized, he was still in no place to have relief. The real trouble was still there, in front of him.
Explaining things to Manami wasn't going to be easy, but the true hardship that inevitably lay within his future, was how he's going to be able to explain things to Ayase. The kind yet violent angel was widely known as a total hater for everything indecent, none excluded. To tell her that he rejected her for his own little sister would probably be a world-ending disaster for Kyousuke. And if you think that that's the hardest part, then you're terribly wrong.
The only thing that could probably second her hate to indecent things, were utter lies. This easily concluded that lying to her was certainly not an option.
And when Kyousuke started to think about that side of her, it troubled him even more. He lied to her about not wanting Kirino, about his own feelings for his sister. But the most agonizing lie was the rejection itself, when he lied to Ayase about not loving her, not wanting her to be his girl. Because he did, and that fact remain unchanged, even until now. A first crush isn't something that could easily be shrugged off, even with the passing of time.
"I'm sorry Ayase. I have another girl I like."
He couldn't seem to be able to bring any idea to mind when it comes to solving things with her. His mind clouded by the ironically sky-clear memory, paying no heed to the amount of time spent between then and now. It felt as if the incident had just happened yesterday.
"Baka Onii-san! Why don't you like me?!"
The memory of her wails, the memory of her tears. The memory of her affectionate, yet painful kiss…
"Sayonara, Onii-san. I hate you, with all my heart."
And then it flashed to him, albeit still vague and unconfirmed, the true meaning behind that sentence, the answer he had always been looking for.
'…By 'Sayonara', she couldn't mean… right?'
Her last smile amidst her tears, and the final words she declared to Kyousuke. Her final farewell.
'Could it be.. she honestly.. never want to meet me again?'
If only he realized it sooner…
A/N: If you need a slower-paced story, or if there are any details I missed (from the anime), grammar correction, misused vocabs, anything, please let me know. I'll be more than glad if it means making my story better.
Anon reviewer: I was trying to make it so that the storyteller (me) was an invisible character that follows the main characters everywhere they go. Which is why I used present tense, did it came out funny? (Seriously grammar just kills my brain sometimes. How about this chapter? I kinda changed it into past tense) Edit: The chapter is now full past tense, I think..
JColeTheKing: And you'll get more, I guarantee it! I'll even go as far as to say that if someday I 'abandon' this story before it ends, there could only be 2 reasons: whatever-disease or Death xD.
DarkGlass01: Thanks a lot for the suggestions! After reading your review I realized that my first draft was too short and rushed, so I completely overhauled it, which turned into what I think is better. I tried making a 1st person perspective version of this chapter, but failed miserably lol. So I settled with the 3rd person perspective, I hope you liked it!
