THE DAILY PROPHET
THE DARK LORD RANTS
AN EXCLUSIVE ONE-ON-ONE WITH HE-WHO-MUST-NOT-BE-NAMED, BROUGHT TO YOU BY YOUR AWE-INSPIRING REPORTER, SNARRYISLIFE.
Hello once more! It is I, Snarryislife, bringing to you the second installment of The Dark Lord Rants! I was having tea, once more, discussing the weather.
"Dreary." responded the Dark Lord, "It makes me ill watching all the beautiful sunshine disappear. It makes the world seem so, so, dead. But I do oh-so love thunder storms and rain, just not foggy and drizzly days. Its no fun to torture someone when they got pneumonia from wanna-be rain! And you know what else is wanna-be? Justin Beaver!"
I was so tempted to correct him, but I valued my life more than a pop-star's name.
"Like Baby, Baby, Baby, oooo! What the hell is that? I'll tell you what it is. It's a guy in bed who can't get anything done! It's so disturbing! Almost as disturbing as the talent show back in my Hogwarts days when Dumbledore dressed up in a Tu-Tu to preform Swan Lake! I still have nightmares! Do you know what else gave me nightmares, catching Severus, Lucius, and the Potter boy last week. In the closet. Together. Doing the naughty naughty."
I was also tempted to say that he was old enough to call it sex, but refrained due to health hazards.
"And bunnies! There so cute and fluffy and adorable, but what do they do when you want to pet them? They friggin bite you!"
It was then I realized that it was time for me to go, so, I apologized profusely, told the Dark Lord that I would be back same time next week, and left.
Harry looked from the paper, to the staff table, and back to the paper. He saw Severus' face drain of color. That was not how he had wanted the world to find out what he did with his lovers. But on to more important matters.
Harry was going to be in so much trouble with Mrs. Weasley when she found out.
A/N: Hello! Again! How does every body like it so far? Thank you to every one who review, favorited, or alerted! Keep it up!
BTW: Standard Disclaimer Applies.
