More Than a Kiss
By Embittered Flower
Disclaimer: Super Dimensional Fortress Macross and its characters are the property of Shoji Kawamori, Haruhiko Mikimoto, and its other co-creators.
Author's Note: Inspiration struck. It looks like I'll be continuing this story after all.
Chapter 2
Fallout
- 20 November 2009 -
"All right, Captain Hayase," the doctor spoke. She pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose. "Other than a few scrapes and bruises, you're perfectly healthy. Do you have any other questions?"
Misa smoothed out the wrinkles of her hospital gown as she sat on the examination table. "No, that's all, Doctor…" Misa lied as her voice trailed off. She couldn't remember the doctor's name. There was just too much on her mind. Hayase, you need to say something!
It had only been a day since Misa, Hikaru, Max, and Kakizaki escaped from captivity aboard the Zentraedi ship. The Macross was abuzz with the news that the four had returned home unharmed and with new knowledge of the aliens' way of life. They were each awarded a promotion for their heroism, and a special reception was scheduled to officially welcome them home.
While they were given strict orders to rest and practice self-care for a few days before returning to their posts, there was still the matter of official duties. They were to attend a briefing with the top-ranked officers aboard the Macross the next day to report on their findings and what happened.
In preparation for the briefing, though, they were also ordered to undergo thorough medical and psychological exams. And Misa's medical exam was just about complete.
"That's it then, Captain." The doctor picked up Misa's medical record and opened the door. "Welcome home."
Last chance! Tell her now!
Misa gathered courage with a deep breath. "Actually, there's something else," she mumbled.
The doctor turned around and closed the door, waiting for Misa to continue.
"There's a possibility that I may have contracted an STI or…" She tried to swallow, but her mouth was dry. "Or I may be pregnant."
The doctor walked over to the counter and leaned against it, her face unreadable.
"We were captured," Misa explained. "And to learn about human reproduction, the Zentraedi forced me – forced two of us to…" She stopped herself, knowing that the doctor could glean what happened from there.
"I see," the doctor simply said. She pushed her glasses up again.
"I understand if you don't believe me," Misa sighed. "If I were in your shoes, I wouldn't believe me either."
The doctor shook her head. "I believe you. We can start a rape kit – "
"I wasn't raped!" Misa blurted. "I wasn't raped. I initiated it and complied – willingly. So did…" She stopped, not wanting to reveal Hikaru's identity. "So did the other soldier." Surely the doctor could use the process of elimination to find out which of the returning soldiers it was, but Misa wasn't going to help.
It was the doctor's turn to take a deep breath. Misa couldn't blame her. It was an outlandish truth, to the say the least.
"Well, in that case," the doctor continued, "We can test you for STIs right now. As for pregnancy, it's a little too early to tell." She set Misa's medical record down onto the counter and walked toward the door. "I'll be back with the tests," she stated, leaving the examination room.
Misa looked down at her lap. She tried to tug the hospital gown over her knees. It stubbornly refused to stay there and sprung back to her mid-thigh.
The room felt too cold, too sterile. She tugged at the gown again but achieved only the same result.
If I caught anything, it's whatever Ichijyo has. Or even Minmay.
She snorted in disgust. Even though many of the soldiers were friends with the rising pop idol, Misa herself had never met her. But there was a chance that they now shared something in common.
Too much in common.
And what if she was pregnant? She had always dreamed of joining Riber on Mars and starting a family with him. But when he was killed –
There was a lump in her throat. She swallowed it.
When Riber was killed on his way back from Mars, Misa's dreams of family life were killed too.
Weren't they?
Then what if I'm pregnant?
A knock on the door interrupted Misa's thoughts, and the doctor re-entered the room. She handed a tiny white pill to Misa.
"What's this?" Misa asked quizzically.
"The morning after pill," the doctor replied. "Emergency contraception. I know you weren't raped, Captain, but it doesn't sound like you wanted or planned this."
Misa stared blankly at the pill that sat in the doctor's palm. It taunted her.
"Captain?"
"I…" Misa blinked and finally looked up at the doctor. "I don't know if I want to take this."
"I understand. Why don't you take that home and think about it?" the doctor suggested. "But you should know that it's only effective within 5 days of the act, so you only have a couple of days. Don't spend too much time thinking."
Misa only continued to stare at the pill as the doctor placed it in her hand.
"Now, let's start with those other tests."
"I want to know what you guys saw in preparation for tomorrow's briefing." Hikaru's voice cracked slightly as he spoke. He cleared his throat, hoping Kakizaki and Max wouldn't notice his nervousness. "You know, so we can get the timeline straight."
He had attempted to contact Misa several times so they could process what happened between them. But she was difficult to reach and hadn't returned any of his phone calls or messages. In the meantime, he figured, he could at least find out what his men knew. He asked them to meet in a small conference room in the Officers' Quarters.
Kakizaki leaned back in his chair and folded his hands behind his head. He focused on the ceiling as he gathered his memory. "Okay, so Max got away, but you, Captain Hayase, and I got captured. We all blacked out. They held us for observation, and when we woke up, we were interrogated by three Zentraedi. One guy called himself Gorg Bodolza, and he was their commander. I don't know the names of the other two, but one was tall with some kind of robotic eye. The shorter guy was a redhead."
Hikaru tapped his foot on the floor impatiently. He knew all this. He was waiting for the details that were more pressing.
Kakizaki continued to recount the experience. "They wondered why we were so small and were confused when we explained that we were born this way from our moms. They didn't know what kissing was, so you and Captain Hayase showed them that."
From the corner of his eye, Hikaru spotted Max turn his gaze toward him. He didn't dare return his glance.
"The Zentraedi freaked out, called it Protoculture, and then asked for more details about where babies come from. They turned on some filters and threatened you and the captain to…" Kakizaki smirked at his boss, searching for an appropriate euphemism. "Well, they threatened you to get it on. But when you started kissing again, they panicked and ran out of the room, taking me with them. They passed me off to some lower-ranking soldiers who put in me in a cell." Kakizaki sat up in his chair and smiled, satisfied with his explanation.
Hikaru leaned forward in anticipation, unblinking. "And?"
"And that's how I ended up in jail," Kakizaki finished. "I thought I was going to be there forever."
Max nodded, his face stern as he continued where Kakizaki left off. "I found Kakizaki first. He told me where to find the two of you. When we got to your location, you and the captain were just sitting there. After picking you up, we headed toward - "
"Wait!" Hikaru interrupted. "So neither of you… You didn't see anything?"
Perplexed, Max and Kakizaki shook their heads.
No one was there…? Hikaru furrowed his brow, confused.
Hikaru's heartbeat quickened and roared like thunder in his ears, but it wasn't loud enough to drown out the rush of thoughts flooding his mind.
All for nothing – It was my first time – The blood on the floor – I did it for the mission – All for nothing – No one saw anything – I didn't want the captain – What do I tell Minmay – It was amazing but – The blood on the floor – All for nothing –
Hikaru trembled as he took a breath. And then he took another. And another.
Was this relief? Or was it rage?
"Wait…" Kakizaki's eyes grew wide with realization. He got up and leaned over the table. "Skipper, you and the captain… You didn't actually do it, did you?"
Hikaru stared at the table to avoid eye contact. He propped his elbows onto the table and buried his face in his hands. "All for nothing," he repeated, this time out loud.
"Oh, crap. You did…" Kakizaki sat back down, a wide grin spreading onto his face. "You did! First the untouchable Miss Macross and now the untouchable Ice Queen Hayase too?" He whooped loudly and clapped his hands. He turned to Max and laughed wholeheartedly. "Somebody get this man a medal!"
"Shut up!" Hikaru shouted. "I never slept with Minmay!"
"Huh?" Max leaned back in his chair. "So the rumors aren't true then."
"We're not that serious," Hikaru admitted. He hung his head in shame, still staring at the table. "I mean, I'm into her, but I can't tell how she feels about me. And she's been so busy now that she's Miss Macross. As for the captain…"
Hikaru pushed himself away from the table and stood up, knocking over his chair. He began pacing, and Max and Kakizaki's eyes followed him around the room.
"They cut off all visual and sound," Hikaru groaned, throwing his hands up. "We thought the Zentraedi were still there, watching." He rubbed his eyes before running his hands back through his unruly dark hair in frustration. "They threatened to kill all of us. How was I supposed to know you all left the room?"
"Why are you so upset? You did the impossible and banged Misa Hayase!" Kakizaki exclaimed enthusiastically. "You're going to be a legend!"
Hikaru stopped in his tracks. He glared at his men. "No, I won't. You can't say anything. This ship is big but not big enough. The other soldiers always visit Minmay's family restaurant, and you know how they talk. I don't want her to find out that I slept with my boss!"
Max held up his hands. "Okay, okay. Relax, Lieutenant. We won't say a thing. No one else will ever know. But what about the briefing?"
Hikaru said nothing and simply resumed pacing around the room. Max and Kakizaki watched as their team leader struggled and looked at each other uncomfortably.
Kakizaki broke the awkward silence. "We don't have to tell the brass what actually happened," he suggested. "I mean, I only saw you and Captain Hayase kiss twice before they locked me up. No one else was there."
"Are you kidding?" Hikaru exclaimed. "What about Captain Hayase? She's by-the-book to a fault. If anyone's going to talk about what really happened on that ship, she will."
Max held his hand to his chin thoughtfully. "Well, these meetings are all classified," he reminded them. "It goes on the record, but whatever gets said in there stays in there."
Hikaru rubbed his temples and sighed. "I need to go for a run…"
He briskly left the room, slamming the door behind him.
Misa breathed in deeply, taking in the open but recycled air. She sat alone at a bench in the artificial park of the Macross, sipping a cup of coffee. She thought that getting out of her quarters would help her relax after her medical and psychiatric appointments, but the change did nothing for her.
"Relax," the doctors said. "Take it easy."
Well, she was trying. But just how was she supposed to actually succeed after an ordeal like that?
She tried to focus on the book in front of her. She must have read the same paragraph at least five times, and she couldn't remember what the plot was about. Her mind kept floating back to the little pill that sat in her purse.
"Captain Hayase!"
Misa looked up from the paragraph and raised her head. A couple yards away, Hikaru waved to her mid-jog in his workout clothes.
Oh, no. She gulped. Hikaru was the reason she left the Officers' Quarters in the first place. She didn't want to run into him. Misa held her breath and tried to keep her horror from appearing on her face as Hikaru approached.
He reached her and saluted. "I've been trying to contact you," he panted. "Where have you been?"
"Busy." Busy avoiding you. She closed the book, tucked it into her purse, and stood up. She picked up her coffee and turned to walk away. "Have a good day, Lieutenant."
"Wait!" he cried out to stop her. "About what happened back there, with the Zentraedi…"
Misa shifted positions and subconsciously reached down to tug at the hem of her skirt.
"I thought that…" His eyes darted from side to side, taking note of the other people in the park. He leaned in and dropped his voice to a whisper. "I thought maybe we should talk through what happened before the briefing."
"Why?" Misa asked simply. "There's nothing we can do about it." She turned again to walk away.
"For crying out loud," Hikaru growled. "Captain, would you just get off your high horse and stop to listen to me for once?" he yelled at her.
Misa's eyes widened in surprise as she took a step back. Other parkgoers turned their heads to see the commotion.
Hikaru grunted his annoyance. He grabbed Misa's arm but didn't notice her flinching as he dragged her back to the bench.
"Lieutenant! What are you -?!"
"Listen," he whispered. He sat down on the bench and gestured for her to follow suit. Warily, she sat down, placing her coffee on the bench next to her.
"I just talked with Kakizaki and Max," Hikaru explained. "No one was there. No one saw what we did."
"What do you mean?" Misa asked him. He wasn't making any sense.
"Kakizaki said that the Zentraedi panicked when they saw us kissing again. They ran out of the room before anything happened."
"You mean…" Misa's lips parted as she processed the new information. "If no one was there… if the Zentraedi weren't there…" She slowly shook her head in disbelief. "Then what was the point?"
Hikaru didn't – couldn't – give her an answer.
Misa felt pressure building behind her eyes. She bit down on her lip, keeping the tears back. No. Not here. Not in front of him.
"Max and Kakizaki…" Her quiet voice was firm when she finally spoke again, surprising herself. "Do Max and Kakizaki know what really happened?"
"Yeah," Hikaru mumbled. "They figured it out when they saw my reaction to their account. But they promised they'd keep it a secret. They even suggested that…" Hikaru stopped talking and scratched his chin, as if he were worried about finishing his sentence. "Since no one saw anything, we don't exactly have to report that detail at tomorrow's briefing."
Misa raised an eyebrow. "Are you suggesting that we lie to our superiors?"
"Not lie. Leave stuff out," he offered. "Strategically."
As tempting as that sounded, Misa's sense of morality instantly kicked in. She had to set an example for her subordinate. "Lieutenant Ichijyo, I am appalled that you would ever make such a suggestion!" she berated him.
"Well, of course I would, Captain!" he retorted. "Do you think I wanted that to happen?"
Misa winced. She knew that they did what they had to for the sake of their mission, but his words still stung. "Well, you definitely wanted it then!" she shot back. "Or do you need me to remind you of the things you did and said to me?"
Nearby parkgoers heard her outburst and again turned to look at the pair. Suddenly, Misa blushed and turned away, realizing what she had just exclaimed aloud in public.
Hikaru noted the scene they were causing with alarm and dropped his voice, struggling to contain his indignation. "Captain, I'm trying to protect both of us here."
"I understand. But have you considered the possibility that the Zentraedi have their own recording of what happened during our interrogation?"
"Oh, come on, Captain!" He rolled his eyes. "Even if a recording did exist, what are the chances that it would ever get back to the Macross?"
"I don't know, but they're chances that I don't want to take. We could all be punished for withholding information," she reminded him. She sat back on the bench and crossed her arms. "You just got a promotion and the whole ship thinks you're a hero, Lieutenant. Don't throw it away."
"Fine, fine!" he surrendered with a grimace. He leaned back and turned his attention to the Macross' artificial sky. "So we tell them the whole truth."
"Yes," Misa sighed. "The whole truth. At least the briefing report will be classified. So outside of those papers, it never happened."
Hikaru sat up, blinking at her with his eyes wide in surprise. "It never happened?"
"It never happened."
Hikaru threw his arms up in frustration. "How can you even say that? Captain, you were – I saw…"
He stopped. His face contorted into an expression that Misa couldn't read. "You saw what, Lieutenant?" she demanded.
He locked eyes with her. "I saw the blood on the floor."
Misa gulped. He knows.
Her heartrate instantly increased and pounded loudly – could he hear it? She tried to control her breath rate but the world was spinning around her. Words escaped her – actions evaded her –
She stood up. She couldn't be there anymore. Not with him. "I – I have to go…"
"Captain!" Hikaru shot up from the bench and grabbed her arm. "We need to talk about this!"
"I'm sorry, Lieutenant." Misa wrenched her arm from his grasp and picked up her cup of coffee.
"Wait, Captain Hayase!"
She turned and walked away briskly out of the park. She urged her legs to move faster, but the walk back to the Officers' Quarters somehow seemed unbearably long.
He knows!
She finally entered the building, approached the elevators, and pressed the call button. After an eternity, the elevator doors opened, and Misa walked in.
I can't hide from it anymore.
Misa began sobbing, bringing her hands to her face. The coffee spilled on the floor of the elevator.
When the doors finally opened to her floor, other officers saw Captain Misa Hayase, the heroine of the Zentraedi reconnaissance mission, impeccably poised and dignified as always, walk purposefully toward her quarters.
She didn't bother to tell anyone about the spilled coffee.
- to be continued -
