Hey there and thanks for the Reviews, favs and follows! I'm really glad you like this story so far! I'm sorry if there are spelling or grammar mistakes, but english isn't my mother tongue. Anyways don't get used to these fast updates it's only that way bc I have summer break which means I have more free time than usual. But I think I'm going to settle on updating once a week.
And now have fun reading! :)
Shadow of the Day
Chapter 1
Clary
Clary's diary, 21.08.2016
July the nineteenth, so many things would happen on that day. If only I had known, what, precisely, it was, I would've tried avoiding this day at all. Like sleeping in, 'till it was evening again, or something like this.
Anything at all, to prevent this day from happening.
But the thing is: we can't turn back time.
No matter how much we wish, we could be able to do so, we can't do it. At least, not now.
I don't know how the situation will be in a thousand years, but, for now, we can't turn back time.
This single fact makes me wish, that I could've been born a thousand years later.
Or, maybe it would be better for everyone if I hadn't been born at all. At least then, this summer wouldn't have happened.
These series of most unfortunate events wouldn't have happened.
See, what I did there, Simon?
But the thing is: my story isn't funny. At least, not this summer. Not summer 17, as I call it now. (17 due to the fact that I am seventeen, 'till I'll turn 18 in two months.)
There's nothing funny about summer 17.
Well, I suppose, some situations and conversations with some certain people could be considered funny, but I'm not your average person anymore.
For me, there's nothing light and funny about, no happiness, nothing.
Let me tell you, why.
8 weeks earlier
"Clary?"
I look up, and instantly I regret it.
I know this face, I know just a little bit too well, thanks to Meliorn and Sebastian Well, more to Meliorn, but that doesn't matter right now.
Big, golden eyes, with long eyelashes and messy, golden, light hair.
What are you even thinking, Clary? Get a grip on yourself!, I think and immediately wince, just a little bit.
When I look up again, he's still x-raying me with these golden eyes of his. I gulp, slightly. A shiver runs down my spine. What if Meliorn is here, too? And maybe even Seelie?
This can't be happening, it can't. He can't be here, right now.
He can't be here.
Jace Herondale. Lightwood. Whatever.
Here's the thing about Jace: no one, really, no one, can fully get him, fully understand him. He smokes and drinks, is often drunk and stoned at the weekends, he's got several girls at our school – Maia too -, which adore him and he makes out with different of them on different weekends.
He could be your typical heart breaker – only, he isn't. Well I think I'm not putting this correctly: he kind of is a heart breaker. What makes him different from all the other typical bad boys is, that he doesn't enjoy it when he's broken another girl's heart. To really get this right: he doesn't go wandering around, looking for another heart to shatter to pieces. Most times he doesn't even let people emotionally get close enough to really get to him. The only people, who fully understand him, I guess, are his adoptive siblings – Alec and Isabelle Lightwood.
Unlike most bad boys at our school Jace doesn't pretend he could be open for an emotional base in a relationship. He's just looking for distraction and fun.
How do I know this?
Well, because he's told me this.
When he was drunk, after he made out with Maia.
"Clary, hey, you still there? Earth to Clary?", Jace asks me now, sounding slightly amused. He cocks his head to the side and grins at me. Immediately I take a step back, when I watch his lips turn upwards.
I know these lips too damn well.
His lips are everywhere on my body. His hands are gripping hard on my waist. There's nothing gentle about this, anymore.
And everything about this is just so wrong.
I am doing the wrong thing, we are definitely doing the wrong thing.
I shudder, once he lays his fingers on my thighs and he pulls me even closer to him.
"No escaping me now.", he purrs into my ear.
This is wrong.
"Wow, Clary, is everything all right?", now he sounds concerned.
"You're as white as a wall. Everything okay?"
I just shake my head in denial.
No, everything's fine. Everything's all right, I want to say with these gesture.
He flashes me a dazzled look.
"Uh... Clary? You sure you all right?", he asks in his New Yorker accent. Just like mine, Jace's family isn't originally from Cali. We're both originally from New York.
Stop it, Clary. Just goddamn stop.
"You're not speaking to me, or what? Look, Meliorn isn't here, so you can relax. I don't want to do anything bad to you. I don't want anything except ordering my drink. Anything hard, if possible with much vodka, please. "
At the mention of Meliorn's name I shoot him a death glare, but I relax a little, when says that he just wants a drink. Still, this is Jace. Jace, who happens to be one of Meliorn's best friends. Who once saved me from Meliorn. Jace, I've made out with last year, at Sebastian's birthday party, when we were both drunk. Until now I was positively convinced that he couldn't remember any of this – that we've made out and only stopped, when Maia interrupted us.
I shrug and point to the card. He grins.
"Oh, sorry I forgot. You still not talking to me?" Yes, you Idiot, obviously; I want to scream it out loud, but I won't start speaking again when the first one I speak to happens to be Jace. Maia and Simon would absolutely kill me for that. I'm not sure if I'll ever speak again – not after Sebastian.
"All right then, I'll take a vodka with orange juice. But shouldn't you be asking me if I'm of drinking age?", he now questions with a mischievous grin. I shrug once again. I won't ask him anything, I won't speak to him. Why is it suddenly so hard to remind myself that I don't want to speak to anyone at the moment, when it comes to Jace?
I turn around, searching for the bottle of vodka and orange juice and the crushed ice. Jace still hasn't given up trying to talk me, because while I mix him his drink he's still questioning me about a lot of random things, Angeles, the holidays, the beach, my job here, Simon and Maia. When I'm done with pouring him his drink I also grab a piece of paper and pen and scribble down:
I'm not really talking to anyone at the moment.
He takes his drink and asks:
"Oh, because of Sebastian?"
You might as well just shut up, because I won't answer you.
He only smirks while reading this.
"Smooth, Fray.", is his only answer.
5$, is everything I write down.
"Oh c'mon Clary, we've known each other since what? Third grade or so?" Yeah and you also happen to be best friends with my bullies.
5$
Sighing, he grabs his purse and hands me a 5$ note. I grab it and stuff it into the cashbox. When I look up again, he's sipping his drink but at the same time he's still teasingly smirking at me.
"How long's your shift?", he asks me and I roll my eyes. Really?, I try to express with this look. He only chuckles to that which earns him another death glare from me.
'Why exactly are you asking that again?', I write that down and settle my gaze on him again. He shrughs.
"Just curious, you know." As if. What even is he doing here? Why did he come here out of all possible places? Are Isabelle and Alec with him?
But I ask him none of these questions because I don't want him to think that I suddenly care. About anything at all. So I just nod, again.
"Clary, I know you. You have to do better than that, if you really want me to leave you alone." This boy will be the death of me, someday. I'm nearly certain.
'What do you want?', I write and give him a look that hopefully carries my annoyance. He sighs and runs his hand through his golden hair. How much I'd love to paint him. His hair, the different shades of gold. How much I ache to touch him again. But he can't know any of this.
Because I don't want to be touched. Anymore. At all.
"I just want to talk to you, Clary. Is that so god damn wrong? As I said, I'm not here to hurt you. I am not.", he repeats and puts press on these last three words. He just wants to talk, a voice in my mind says. What's so wrong about this?
Everything, anything at all is just so wrong. Since last month everything feels wrong.
'How do I know I can trust you?', the words are written down before I've really considered them, really thought about how vulnerable they can make me look, how much I'm actually giving away with them. Shit.
"I... Clary... you can trust me...", suddenly Jace seems to be at a loss of words. Jace. A Jace who doesn't know what to say, this is definitely new, because normally Jace is all about snarky, arrogant comebacks, paired with one of his teasing smirks. But right now I see none of this. Right now I only see a Jace who's suddenly as vulnerable as I feel too.
He doesn't know what to say to this. Because he doesn't know if I really can trust him. This is all a little bit too much for me. Because it all seems like suddenly Jace Herondale, the infamous Jace Herondale cares about anyone who's not his family.
But well... about that... that's also very, very complicated.
"Jace! There you are!", Isabelle calls out and just like that we're both saved from this akward situation. Jace clears his throat and turns around. There she is, Isabelle Lightwood. Probably the most popular girl at school, right after Seelie. The difference between Isabelle and Seelie is, that Isabelle actually really is a genuinely nice person. Well, sure, at first, she's all bitchy and sarcastic comebacks but she won't hurt other people purposely with her words. Only, if she really wants to. And once you've gotten to know her, she will lower her defences, at least a bit.
I know all this stuff because Simon and Isabelle are – acquaintances? I'm not really sure which word could really contently describe the relationship they have.
"Oh, Clary, you're here too! How come?", she expresses and sits down next to Jace. Not she too, please, not another person I have to disappoint. Please not another one I have to 'talk' to. Jace greets Isabelle, which gives me time to scribble down my answer to her question.
'I'm working here for the rest of the summer break. The hotel belongs to my aunt, Amatis.'
Isabelle looks confused that I won't speak to her, but Jace leans over to her and whispers something in hear ear. Her expression changes from confusion, to a dazzled look, to utter confusion. But she gets a grip on herself pretty fast.
"Oh yeah, I forgot, the Morgenstern Hotel chain. Absolutely awesome." I force a smile, then I ask her if she wants anything to drink. Well, I don't really ask her, but you know, what I mean. She nods.
"Yes, I'll take a Tequila Sunrise, please."
Jace looks at her in amazement.
"Isn't it a little too early for a cocktail? With Tequila? It's what, like five in the afternoon.", he says, after he's checked his watch. Says the one with the Vodka-O, I think.
"You hypocrite!", she says in disbelief, "this, coming from the one with the Vodka-O." They continue to bicker while I mix Isabelle her Tequila Sunrise. When I'm done I hand it to her, just in the same moment Alec Lightwood arrives. What are they all doing here?, I think to myself, again. Why here, out of all possible places?
"Jace, Isabelle, really? Doing alcohol at what – five pm?", Alec asks them in disbelief.
"Oh, hi Clary.", he shortly appreciates my being here. Alec and I don't get along that good, probably because I screwed with Jace once but Isabelle is still friends with me.
"Alec, don't be such a spoilsport!", Isabelle scoffs. Alec only sighs and rolls his eyes.
"Anyways, Mum and Dad are looking for you. Both of you. Family dinner. If I were you I wouldn't exactly be telling them what exactly you've been doing but I would come up with a pretty good excuse because they've been searching you for nearly over on hour, especially you, Jace."
Isabelle makes a rude gesture towards Alec but downs her drink nevertheless in a few seconds. My eyes widen with shock and disbelief. I nearly need an hour to empty a glass of wine, not bringing in the fact that I absolutely hate the taste of alcohol.
"See you around, Clary.", she says when she stands up and pays for her drink. Alec gives me a court nod.
"Jace, you coming?"
"Give me a sec.", Alec shoots Jace an incredulous stare but Isabelle drags him away with her nevertheless.
God, what does he want now?
But he doesn't say anything, at least not until he's finished his drink grins. "Thanks for the drink Clary, it was really good. Just the right proportion between the vodka and the orange juice. Well, anyways, see you around." He chuckles once again and then he's gone too.
Frozen in place, I stare after him, trying hard, not to concentrate too much on his golden hair. What exactly was all this about?
What the fuck are they doing here?
Seeing them around? Not if I can avoid it.
Hours later
'I'm not exactly sure what the so-called root of my problem exactly is.'
"You're not sure or you're only not sure if you want to answer this?" Damn it. "Clarissa.", he sighs. "You have to be really in it, if you want this to be successful." Right, about that. It's not exactly me who want's this to be successful.
'I'm not sure. Honestly. I guess there's too much to take into consideration. Like, my totally fucked-up family for an instance?'
"Your whole family or just someone in particular?"
Screw this.
How could he guess so easily?
Please review! I'd love to hear your thoughts! And your theories on what made Clary silent? See you soon! xx
