A/N: Same as last time, good thoughts are italized , bad thoughts are in bolded italics. Oh like in last chapter, sometimes thoughts can crossover into actions or words themselves.
I'd like to give a shout out to my friend who'd helped with the sex scene in this chapter-yes there is a sex scene- skip over it if you don't want to read it.
"The thing you love the most will not be the thing you get in return…" My friend Ian
Part II
Every man's dream
Two years have passed since I have last seen Xiaoyu. Everyday I think about her. I regret what I did two years ago… It's haunting me-what I did was wrong… I should've listened-I should've… Maybe what she was saying was true,it was an opportunity! And I blew it!
Man, you are so pathetic…listen to yourself …crying over some childish bitch…you never needed her…man, you can have any woman you want in this world. Just look at what you have now-power, status,fortune. You're a wealthy bastard who has nothing to complain about ,one of the world's most beautiful women, and an empire –larger than any before it. Why are you stuck in the past?
You do have a point…it's just I wonder..
Well don't- worrying is a sign of weakness. You're in control-total control. Isn't this what you want?
Yes. You're right, absolutely. What's done is done. The past is the past. I should move on.
Good grief. You're such a pansy…
I feel two slender arms slither their way around my neck. Two moist lips kiss the nape of my neck, move up to my ears, and blow a whisper into them. "You're coming to bed, dear?"
That voice that resonated through my ear,was none other than Zafina's. The woman, that I laid down with everynight,consumed in passionate sex with for the past year and a half. She was every man's dream- sleek ,exotic ,flexible…
Every newspaper in the world knew what we had going on, they always wondered when I was going to marry her? Answer is I'm not…I don't love her… She's how I hate to say…a toy…
The truth is- I'm holding on because I don't want to be alone. It's not good for man to be alone. That's right man needs something-to fuck.
No man needs something to love,to hold,to protect…to confide in… The feelings I had Zafina were abit superficial-sure I liked her,but I can't imagine spending the rest of my life with her. Some people are meant for each other- and Zafina is not for me.
Sure she'd looks good on my arm, I kept her there for worldly reasons. For status, which I want to keep ,I haven't rid of her yet. Another reason,is I don't want to break her heart. She doesn't deserve it, no one doesn't deserve their heart broken…
You are so damn…sappy…you bitch…get over the past…you should be glad you don't have to see that little…school girl whore. She was annoying and you know it.
I shake off the thoughts and try to concentrate on what sexually appealing act,Zafina would pull off.
She pushes me to the bed and starts up the stereo with some romantic song that I've heard her play every night before her and I fuck.
She tries something new tonight by giving me a lap dance. I watched her body sway rhythmically , my eyes focusing on her supple ass. I begin to picture Xiao in my mind
Come on man she's basically saying let me pleasure you in every way you can imagine with new sex positions and any other kinky shit you and her can think up.
As my mind reawakens from it's loss of concentration I see Zafina has taken off her clothes and all I can do is stare at the D-cups she has until she puts my hands on her breasts from there I begin to fondle them with a very smooth but rough motion until she decides to go between my legs. The feeling of her mouth around my penis feels makes me feel like I'm not at war with myself. I slowly comb my right hand into her soft long hair and I begin to push her head down until I feel satisfied and pleasured. As I'm doing that she decides to stop and lick her index and middle fingers then moves them to her 'lips' and she begins to play with herself While at the same time she continues to give me head until she decides that we should begin to have intercourse.
Are you enjoying this as much as I am?
No I know she's not right for me even if she can fulfill my wildest fantasies…
What are you gay? Come on that foolish XIAYOU would never have done this for you so stop bitching and moaning over everything and show that you have some balls!
You're right.
I plunge myself into her and slowly begin to go back and forth until I hear her begin to moan and at that instance. I begin to thrust faster and faster until my body burst into sweat.
Like an animal, I flip her to her side and throw her leg above my shoulder and I continue plummeting into her while she moans with an orgasmic tone that just makes me want to fuck her even more. Hungrily,I decide to put her on her knees and start taking that ass of hers until I finally release into her .After we're done she decides she wants to just get under the sheets and snuggle and that is what I decide to do until she falls asleep where my mind can truly wonder about all my decisions I've made and my thoughts about Xiaoyu.
Will you get over her? Look what you have now, and you want to go back to Xiaoyu-whom you've never paid any attention to-until whoops two years ago?!
It does seem crazy,but there's something about her…I don't know…I think I love her…
You think? 'Think' is not good enough… 'knowing' is and for the most part you don't love Xiaoyu and you 'know' it! Now say it!
" I don't love Xiaoyu…" It all felt foreign to me as I whispred it . I found myself out of the bed,where Zafina lie and over near the window with a full view of Tokyo beneath me. Looking down on it is like looking down on Earth as the Gods do. Most men will never see this city, have this much influence,power,status. Why am I questioning all this? Aren't I supposed to be happy? Happy!
It all seems so fake-this life that I am living…I'm living every man's dream. I've fulfilled all his desires: beautiful companion, fortune, status. I have one of the biggest reputations. Yet something's missing… A lot's missing…it's like my soul and heart are absent…and I don't know where to find them…
What the fuck are you talking about, Mama's boy? Go to bed! Shit…having to listen to you groan and complain…for eight years..now..You're twenty-three…not eighty..now you'll love another…that's that.
I slip back into bed,with Zafina's body close to mind. I have the urge to push her away, but I do not act upon it. I relax some,waiting for tomorrow to come with it's uniformity.
The next morning, I wake up to find myself in an empty bed. Zafina has left a note on the nightstand-in her elaborate writing she has gone shopping. The smell of a gourmet breakfast wafts up to my nose, hungry and not wanting to see chef see me in the nude, I take a shower.
I come up out of the bathroom, fully dressed in suit. One of my maids,Michiko,rushes to fix my tie. This is the beginning of my day,right from the start is boring. As I make my way to the kitchen,another servant,hands me my laptop. Once ,in the kitchen I perch myself on a barstool,greeted by Chef Ito. He presents my breakfast of French toast, bacon, and eggs.
He makes small talk as usual, I wish I didn't have work to do today. As I log onto the internet, I am welcomed by two e-mails one from The Julia Chang Foundation, asking for donations to preserve the world's forests. The other is from the Christie Monteiro Project,an organization built to aid families that do not have access to health care. It's not the first time I've received these e-mails and like the last time I delete them.
"Jin, honey,I'm back!" Zafina calls. "Guess what I did today!"
"Spend all my money?"
"ha-ha no,look what I bought ,today!" Zafina then reaches out of a Barnes and Noble bag, she reveals a pink book. The Secret to living the Best life ever: tips on boosting your personal life ,love life, marriage and family life. Written by Mei Kizune,Ling Xiaoyu, and Leo Klassen.
I nearly choked on my coffee as I saw the book, hopefully Zafina didn't see that action. She didn't because, she continued to jump up and down in excitement. Which was unlikely of her.
"Jin…I read a few pages of this book…thinking it'd be complete bullshit…but it's really good…it's so true and honest…" I stare at the woman, that I screwed the night before, wondering if something fell out of her noggin.
"Don't look at me like that, just think of what this book can do for us. …Maybe we can finally get married…" She sounded so enthusiastic till she finished the end of her statement. Zafina hated the feeling of showing weaknesses, so she looked up straight-faced.
"Besides… I got the signatures from all of the writers….and they'll be appearing on tv…"
My ears cocked up. Oppurtunity…just maybe… you can contact Xiaoyu…this way you guys…can reconcile …maybe talk it out over dinner…Jin you don't have to lie to Zafina… you can finally have Xiao!
Those thoughts ran through my mind,but I showed no apperant care not to bring suspicion to Zafina. She turned on the television to a local news channel. Appearing on the screen were two Asian women, one Caucasian woman. Kazama you're a lunatic…get over her already! Just get over her already! Keep dreamin man…look what you have now…you're gonna jeopardize all that for one girl?
Zafina turns up the tv, so we could both listen to the authors speak. An interviewer asked the girls various questions, I ignored all what the other girls said, and paid attention to what Xiao said in particular. The interviewer asked her a question about love and her past experiences. I made sure the tv was at a pretty high level of volume. I just had to hear her answer.
" Y'know… I used to …think love was everything…I grew up and realized it's not."
The interviewer proceeds to question her. "One chapter…in the book in particular you said ' I loved him with everything. And I didn't want him to get hurt…but what was the use of coming back to him…if he was going to just push me away, again?"
When I heard that pang of regret struck through me. I turned to Zafina who listened intently, I turned back to the television screen. I continued to look at the older Xiaoyu, she was good-looking, she still had that youthful glow.
"I guess you could say I'm a loving person…but back then…I just let people walk over me…I thought I was doing the right thing,but I was wrong."
The interviewer nods, "So you're saying…. It's wrong to help someone?"
"No.I'm saying you can help someone as long as they don't bring you down-then that's where both people are hurting and no one's getting help."
The audience applauds in the background ,the interviewer quiets the crowd. "So…I'm assuming the man you're referring…had quite a nasty break-up." The interviewer smiles.
"No. It's just at that time-we were at different points in our lives, no hard feelings though. I forgive him and I hope he forgives me." She smiles.
"So have you heard from him since?"
"No. It's okay ,maybe it's better this way." Once she said that ,the TV shut off. I turned to Zafina. "So why are you showing me this,again?"
"Jin….I thought you'd get it by now…" her voice abit annoyed, she sighs heavily. " Jin…I'm sick of this…"
Uh-oh…here it comes… Uh-oh nothing…It's all your fault…
"Sick of what? What the hell are you talking about?"
Zafina stands up from her seat on the couch. " This…all of it….the same thing…the routine…You go to work or work on your laptop all day….I go shopping…when you're done with work…or whatever you do…we have sex…then hours later the routine starts over again!" She was now yelling,with her arm stretched out. "If we're gonna live like this…can't we just get married ?! For Christ's sake! I mean….I hate this…it worries me you don't love me…are you ashamed of me,Jin?"
I clear my throat. " No…" I guess this is the time to tell her the truth… NO!
"Zafina… I'm sorry for all of this… you're right we shouldn't live like this…I hate to say…we're never going to marry…because the truth is I don't love you…"
By now she's crying in an outrage, something I never saw her do before. "Well I'm glad you told me the truth but damn…why didn't you tell me this in the beginning?!"
The good side of me felt very guilty. "I don't know… if you want I can book you a flight back to Egypt… for tomorrow morning."
The bad side was in a complete rage. What are you doing? Why are you giving up one of the world's most beautiful woman?
For once I ignored my ugly side and listened to my good side, by getting rid of Zafina,I would stop leading her on. Now I could fix my problems,maybe get back together with Xiao. I didn't care what anyone thought about me there after in that moment. What I did to Xiao was wrong… she was right all along… I must right my wrongs… I must find Xiao so she can help me…so I can love her.
A/N: How was it? I like writing this fic. For the record,I don't think Zafina is a slut or anything. I just always wanted to write something with her and Jin together. I couldn't find any quote or scripture from the Bible to sum this chapter up so I got my friend to help.
