A ray of sunlight cut through the sliver of space between the curtains and sliced directly into Alex's brain as she started to become conscious once more. At first, she was groggy, her head felt fuzzy and wrong, just like it did every morning she woke up after a night like last night. The bright light was stabbing into her eyeballs and she squeezed her eyelids tight, then pulled a pillow over her face. Her stomach was queasy, but she knew she wouldn't throw up. She'd gotten too used to beer to throw up from only ten.
Only ten? Ten is a fucking lot, Alex. It's a little voice in her head she'd grown adept to ignoring, and that's exactly what she did that morning as she fought with the sun forcing her to wake and face the unpleasant sensation of being hungover. Her head was pounding, but it was nothing she couldn't handle. Some coffee and some aspirin, her usual fix. Her mouth tasted like rotting seaweed, and she sucked her tongue against the back of her top front teeth in reaction to the taste.
A soft hum sounded from her side and she remembered in that moment that Maggie had come home with her last night. Alex turned on her side to face the sleeping woman and she examined her for a moment. Maggie always looked so peaceful when she slept, but not this morning. The planes of her face were crinkled and drawn in in certain places; around the corners of her eyes and across her furrowed brow. Her lips twitched at one corner, and she kept jerking her head minutely, as if trying to shake off a nightmare chasing her brain in sleep.
Alex bit her lip and creased her own brow as she watched Maggie sleep this way. She was remembering more of last night, and she remembered how she'd tried to sleep with Maggie. She also remembered how Maggie had pushed her away and Alex was starting to feel a knot forming in her stomach. She began to fear that Maggie's tumultuous sleep was her fault, that she'd pushed too far last night. She was trying to put everything into a cohesive timeline. She knew she stopped trying to have sex with Maggie. It was right after Maggie had said she didn't want sex, that much she was sure of, but what if that still wasn't soon enough?
Alex also remembered feeling rejected last night. She'd initially thought Maggie was pulling away from her to protect her, protection she didn't want. And she was right; Maggie didn't want to have sex because Alex was drunk. She'd said it was because it didn't feel right. But what if that was to spare Alex's feelings? What if she was just no longer attracted to Alex?
Alex sat up and buried her head in her knees. There were too many more what if's swirling around in her brain. What if Maggie didn't want her anymore? What if she'd made an ass of herself last night by drunkenly groping Maggie? She just hoped she hadn't ruined this, not yet. Not so soon.
She felt a hand on her back and jumped a little, whipping her head up and to the left to see Maggie, who was eyeing her curiously.
"Sorry," Maggie rasped, "I didn't mean to startle you. You just looked…distressed. Are you okay?"
Alex summoned the brightest smile she could find and said, "I'm fine."
Maggie slowly sat up too, and began rubbing small circles on Alex's back where her hand still remained. "You must have an awful hangover though."
Alex shrugged, and nervously tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. She kicked the sheets off her legs, and began to stand up. She could feel Maggie watching her, and she knew she wasn't doing a very good job of hiding her emotions, of hiding how insecure she was feeling. And she knew Maggie would call her on it too, if she didn't find an escape soon.
So she kept smiling and began walking away from the bed that Maggie had also vacated. She was watching Alex with skepticism, and just as she was about to open her mouth, Alex said, "I'm going to take a shower. I know you've got to get going so you can get to work on time, so I guess I'll just see you later?" With that she sped into the bathroom, too fast to have seen Maggie's stunned expression.
As Alex stepped into the bathroom, she watched herself in the mirror out of the corner of her eye, feeling repulsed by the reflection of the coward she'd just turned herself into. But she knew she couldn't exactly face this, or Maggie's questions right now. So she turned on the shower and stepped into the hot spray. She let the water fall over her body and closed her eyes so it could wash down her face as well. She did everything in her power to shut her brain off.
Alex sipped her coffee as she pushed her way through the doors of the DEO. Her head still ached, but she had gotten pretty good at working through that. She got a lot of headaches.
As she approached the main tech area, she found herself craving another night at the bar. A few drinks would knock this pesky headache out for sure. She groaned as a loud crash sounded from off to the side; someone had dropped a large stack of files. Alex dropped heavily into the nearest chair and rubbed her temples.
"Alex?" A deep voice called to her from her right, and she lifted her head from her hands to face J'onn.
"Hi J'onn." She plastered on her best smile and mustered as much cheer as she could. Not that anyone would have ever mistaken her for cheery, but she was trying damn it.
J'onn returned her smile, and he nodded by way of acknowledging her greeting. He was giving her a strange look, however, and Alex squirmed under the scrutiny. It was as if he knew something, something she didn't. Or maybe something she didn't want him to. Whatever it was, it was making her hairs stand on end. So she did what she did best; evaded the topic.
"I've really got to talk to Winn about the Ikteri case, see if he's had any luck tracking their hideout." She said, offering up another smile and quickly scooting past where J'onn stood, still observing her with arms crossed over his chest. She could feel his eyes remain on her as she walked over to Winn.
Before she made it to Winn's seat, something caught her eye. Kara had just walked into the DEO, dressed as Kara Danvers rather than Supergirl. Alex changed course and headed over to Kara. Confused, she tried to remember if today was something special. There were no situations that demanded Supergirl's attention at the moment, and on a day like today Kara should be working at CatCo.
"Hey, Kara." She said, calling out to her sister. Kara turned toward the sound and was clearly pleased to have found Alex.
"Hi. Are you ready to go?" Kara said as she drew nearer to Alex, hooking a thumb over her shoulder to point to the door.
"Uh, go?" Alex said, now trying twice as hard to push her still fuzzy brain to catch up to today.
Kara gave her a confused look before filling in Alex's blank. "Yes, Lillian Luthor's trial. Metallo is testifying today. Lena could use some friendly faces in the crowd, she'll be there too."
"Right, right." Alex said as she nodded, the memory coming back to her. "Uh, sure. I mean, you know I don't know Lena Luthor, though, right? She won't care if I'm there."
"You've met her a couple of times. She remembers you, you saved her life!" Kara said, taking Alex by the hand and dragging them both toward the exit.
"Well, yeah, but it's not like we talk or anything. I'm far from any kind of support system for her." Alex insisted, her discomfort growing.
"Oh, don't worry about that. I'm her friend, I'm her support system. I just thought it would be nice for her to see your face in the crowd. You don't have to do anything but be there." Kara said, and Alex supposed that was that. Kara was already pulling them to the bus stop. In truth she wanted to be present at Lillian Luthor's trial. It had been a huge DEO case, and ensuring this woman went to jail was just another step in protecting Kara from Cadmus. From anyone.
The courthouse was crowded, to say the least. Everyone wanted to see how this went down; the press, the police, the public. Kara and Alex sat halfway through the benches in the courtroom, peering over heads to get a decent look at everything going on up front. The noise from the courtroom was ringing in Alex's ears and making her head throb. She gritted her teeth and did her best not to let it show to Kara, and not to let it turn her cranky. She didn't want to snap at anyone, especially not Kara.
But Kara wasn't focusing on Alex at the moment anyway. She kept looking around the courtroom, searching for something, and eventually she must have found it because she stopped scanning the whole room and settled for straining her neck to look to the right and up ahead every few minutes. Alex followed the direction of her stare, and found that Kara was looking at Lena Luthor. She furrowed her brow, not understanding her fascination with the Luthor woman.
She wasn't sure if she should ask Kara about it, but before she could open her mouth the judge brought his gavel down and called the court to order. Alex flinched in pain at the banging of the gavel, the sound of it pounding in her head with the ache. She ignored Kara's questioning look at her action.
The proceedings for the day went on relatively uneventfully, until Metallo took the stand. Alex listened as the man ranted and raved, extolling the virtues of Saint Lillian Luthor, savior of the Earth and exterminator of the vermin extraterrestrials. She watched Kara become more and more stoic, and she felt her hand curling into a tight fist. He was hurting Kara with his words, and Alex's first instinct was to punch him. She wished she still had her kryptonite suit.
As she was fantasizing about punching Metallo into next year, she missed the initial shift in the atmosphere of the room. When she tuned back in, Metallo was standing. He was shouting more of his xenophobic vitriol, and Alex found herself wishing she'd been allowed to bring her gun into the courtroom. When he started reaching to his chest, Alex knew this wasn't going to end well.
Metallo ripped open his shirt to reveal a kryptonite heart, the room froze for an instant, and then all hell broke loose.
