The Neji files

A/U the story takes place in Shippuden time and Sasuke is welcomed back to the village with warm welcomes and everybody in the Akatsuki are alive.


The sun was shining as it filled the room of a sleeping Hyuuga prodigy.

Neji Hyuuga slowly opened his eyes as the morning light filled his room. He sat up and gave small yawn. He felt something on his forehead. With a quick moment he removed the yellow sticky note that clung to his face.

It read:

Hello Neji-san!

Did you sleep well?

Surgery was a success

Your mission begins today

Have fun! If you need me I will

Be in your thoughts!

Sincerely

Tally Mai.

Neji read the note over and over again. He still couldn't believe that he took this mission. He even thought it was fishy the moment Tsunade told him of it.

Yay Flashback!

"You called me Hokage-sama?" Neji stood tall and erect.

Tsunade glanced over a huge stack of papers at him. "Yes I did. Someone has requested you… for a rather particular mission."

"Particular?" Neji repeated.

"Yes. The person that requested you said that they could not tell us just what this mission is but they did say that the mission will take place in Konoha."

Neji had a bad feeling about his. The mysterious person. A mission in the village? This just sounded too fishy for his liking. "What is the name of the person that requested me?"

Tsunade sported a sly smile. "Well at first we didn't know who had requested you but…." She paused. Neji could only wonder what was going on in her head.

"But..." The Hokage repeated. "I figured out who she is."

"She?"

"Yes, She. She is a good friend of mine so therefore I trust her.'

Neji was slightly piffed that Tsunade still hadn't told him the person's name. Tsunade sensing his thoughts continued. "Her name is Tally Mai"

Neji swore that he has heard of that name before. He tried to remember where…

"Neji" Tsunade barked.

"Hai! Hokage-sama" Neji snapped his attention back to Tsunade.

Her voice was hard and serious. "Neji, I can't tell you what this mission will be. You must either choose to accept it or turn it down. Now I'm sure that this mission may seem…strange…but, this mission might be in your best interest to take. Tally Mai is offering you 20 million ryou to complete this mission."

Neji gaped at Tsunade. 20 million ryou! That's insane! I don't even make a fraction of that a year and I'm a jounin!

"Well Hyuuga Neji? Will you take this mission?"

Neji had made up his mind. "Hai Hokage-sama. I will accept this mission."

Tsunade smiled. "Good, this is for you. You are to follow the instructions on it."

Neji hesitantly took the slip of paper from the Hokage's hands. Already he was starting to regret it.

A few hours later.

Neji was standing out side of a bar 10 miles away from Konoha. According to the instruction written on the paper he was to meet his client in this bar. The Hyuuga gave an exasperated sigh and walked into the bar.

He squinted his eyes in the musty badly lit bar He took another look at his instructions.

Go out of Konoha.

Head to a town 10 miles to the south.

Find the bar called the Evergreen

Ask the bartender for a Geneva Twist.

Wait five minutes

Then head to the little table in the north western corner of the room.

I'll come to you.

Neji followed the direction. He didn't drink the Geneva Twist. It looked like chocolate milk mixed with sour cream and mayonnaise.

5 minutes later.

Neji got up from his seat by the bartender and headed for the appointed one in the corner of the room. He didn't bother brining the Twist along.

Just as he sat down a girl appeared out of nowhere.

"Well hello Neji-san" She said.

Neji frowned. The girls face was covered by the hood of a long cloak.

"Are you Tally Mai" Neji activated his kekkei genkai."

"Yes and my! What scary eyes you have!" Tally Mai took the seat across from him. She pulled a piece of paper from her cloak. "This is the contract for the mission. If you do not sign this then your memory will be erased."

Neji stiffened a bit. He really regretted taking this mission now. He looked over the contract and signed at the bottom.

"Alright! Thank you for your cooperation Neji-san! I'll be in touch." Tally Mai disappeared.

Neji just sat there. He was dumbstruck for the first time in his life.

End Flash back. Awwwws

Neji sighed and got dressed. A few days after meeting Tally Mai he got jumped and operated on. Neji shivered. It felt really odd knowing that there were cameras in your eyes that saw everything you saw. Neji dressed himself while staring up at the ceiling.

On his way out of the Hyuuga main house he found another sticky note. This note said:

Start with your team!

Have fun!

Tally Mai-chan luvs yous!

Neji gave another sigh. He jumped from building to building to the training grounds.

20 minutes later.

"Hey! Neji-kun!" Tenten waved at Neji who had just reached the training grounds.

Neji grimaced. After he completes this mission he was going to be sure to make it up to everyone.

Hey! Neji-san! I got an idea!

W-t-f? Neji stopped suddenly. He pinched himself. No he wasn't dreaming. He really was hearing Tally Mai's voice in his head.

Didn't you read the note I left you? I told you that I would be in your thoughts!

I didn't think that you meant it literally!

Oh well listen. You need to get some juicy black mail on them. Tenten or Lee pick you first target.

Why did I ever agree to this? Do I really have to get Tenten too?

What? You like her or something?

No!

Hahahaha you like Tenten you like Tenten

Shut up!

Whatever... I'm curious about Lee's eyebrows. There's something fishy about them.

Neji sighed.

"Um, Tenten-chan is something wrong with Neji-kun?" Lee was watching Tenten who was watching Neji make faces.

"I don't know"

"Um" Neji was snapped back to reality. Gah I hate this. "I'm sorry I'm…um…not feeling well to day." He staggered back when Tenten rushed over to him and put her hand on his forehead.

"You do feel a little warm" She said.

Neji gently pushed her hand away. "I'm fine. Now let's train."

Tenten didn't seem to buy his excuse shrugged and took a fighting stance.

After a few hours of training everyone decided that enough was enough and they all left to do their own thing. Except for Neji who started to follow Lee.

Neji followed Lee as he started around town bursting with youthful energy. I feel like a stalker. Neji couldn't help thinking to himself.

Get used to it. Hey wait what's he doing.

Neji quickly scanned the street for Lee. He found him at the entrance to a dark scary looking alley.

What's he doing there? Neji jumped down to the ground and very sneakily moved closer to Lee.

He followed Lee down the dark scary hallway. Neji frowned when he couldn't see a thing. He activated his byakugan. He saw Lee and three other people. One of the three men handed something to Lee. Lee nodded his head then turned abruptly around. Neji jumped up on to the wall just as Lee ran back out of the hallway.

Lee paused at the entrance. Neji squinted his eyes. There was just enough light to see what Lee was doing. Neji gasped in shock as he saw what that man gave Lee.

Lee was holding a bag of crack. He watched in disgust as Lee took a sniff of the pack.

Wow I did not see that coming.

Nether did I. I will never look at him the same way again. I can't believe that Lee takes drugs.

THIS IS GOLD!!

This is sick.

What ever there's just enough time to find another target so get moving.

Whatever.

So thus Neji started to run around town looking for a target. He found Naruto eating at Ichiraku ramen.

Look! It's Naruto! Go up and talk to him!

Fine. Neji took a seat next to Naruto. "Hey Naruto what's up?" Neji causally asked.

Naruto took another sip of his ramen. "Nothing much."

"Hn" Neji ordered a bowl for himself. The two males ate in silence.

Something's wrong. Ask Naruto is something is bugging him.

Why? He seems fine to me.

Trust me he's not. My woman's intuition tells me other wise.

Fine. Neji gave the blonde eating machine a sideways glance. "Is something the matter Naruto?"

Naruto sighed and ordered another ramen. "As a matter of fact yes."

Just so you know I'm grinning smugly.

Just tell me what I say now.

Ok, Ok say ya wanna tell me? And when he says nah forget about it say I don't care. And you'll feel better if you let it out.

Neji looked Naruto in the eye. "Um...ya wanna tell me?"

Naruto gave him a queer look. "Nah forget about it."

Neji gave some credit to the voice in his head. "I don't care. You'll feel better is you let it out." After the words left Neji's mouth he realized how feminine they sounded.

Naruto gave him another queer glare before smiling. "Really? Then yah I guess that I could tell you but you have to keep it a secret."

Neji nodded his head.

"I'm really gay"

Neji's jaw dropped. His jaw dropped like a stone through air.

I KNEW IT!

Oh my pie…. I don't believe it.

BELIVE IT! BELIVE IT!

"Something wrong Neji?" Naruto waved his hand in front of Neji's face.

"No nothing and um I'll keep your secret safe."

Quick run before he runs off leaving you with the tab.

"Un gotta go now, see ya later Naruto!"

Naruto pulled out his frog wallet. "Aww man. I don't have enough money! Dangit. I was going to leave him the tab." Naruto cried anime tears.

Alright! Two down 6 more to go! How do you feel Neji!

Neji was walking through the streets of Konoha heading for home.

I feel dirty.

Don't! Trust me. You might have to get even dirtier!

O.o what are you planning.

I'm not planning anything. Well….I am planning something….

Oh pie what.

Since you and Hinata live right by each other.

What.

Well I want you to spy on Hinata tonight.

WHAT!

Yes! Now listen to me! BOW DOWN TO ME! MAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA

………..

Ok fine don't bow. You still have to spy on Hinata though.

I hate you

I luvs yous toos!


Yay chapter one is done! Whooooo. I think that I'm goin to make this either a crack fic or sick fic. Either or. Not sure yet. Anyways please R & R!