Summer Break

Chapter 2 (August, Part 1)

Rufus convinced Dan to return to the city in early August, at least for a few days, in the guise of a favor. Freshmen Orientation at Sarah Lawrence was upon them and Rufus would be joining Eric as Lily and her ankle-monitor would still be restricted to the apartment for a few more weeks. With Serena still in California, Rufus hated to leave Lily by herself under those circumstances, knowing how disappointed she was at missing Eric's first collegiate function, so Dan was drafted.

Dan and Eric rode down together the night before. Dan decided to stay at the loft, so the Town Car dropped him off first. He brought back a load of books so that he would not have to move everything back down at the end of the summer.

It had been ten weeks since he'd been in Brooklyn (and twelve weeks since he'd seen Blair, not that he was counting). The loft looked cleaner than he had left it, and he made a mental note to thank Lily for whatever cleaning service she had secured. He spent the evening sorting through a large stack of mail, pulling out a few post cards from Serena, and even one from Nate. There was a letter from Vanessa mailed from Spain that he could not bring himself to open. The personal mail, his NYU course catalog, and the last several issues of New York Magazine and The New Yorker all went into his messenger bag for the journey to the UES tomorrow.

He called his dad early the next morning, on the way to the subway, to assure him he was en route. Rufus told his caffeine-fiend son that he could stop for coffee, but breakfast would be waiting for him at the apartment. Lily was thrilled to see him, and hustled him to the breakfast table so they could eat together, before Rufus and Eric left for Sarah Lawrence. Dan was surprised at how relaxed Lily was, and soon realized he was enjoying his return more than he expected.

Alone with Lily, he suggested a couple of movies they might watch. Lily graciously declined, explaining that she and Rufus had watched more movies than she cared to admit over the last few months, and that she was glad just to visit with Dan. She caught him up on Serena's latest Hollywood adventures. Despite initial indicators that she would stay in California, Lily seemed hopeful that Serena would be back in the fall to start her sophomore year at Columbia.

Chuck and Nate were still hopscotching their way across the globe. By all accounts, they were having a type of fun that only a select, privileged minority could ever hope to experience. (Dan wondered briefly if he had taken the wrong tact this summer. Is it possible Chuck and Nate were onto something?) But Lily also seemed relieved that for all of their partying, Chuck was still participating in the Bass Industries merger, and was excited about the progress of Charles Place. Dan had forgotten about Chuck's foray into Brooklyn, and was uneasy about its close proximity to the loft.

Lily had seen Eleanor a few times. She seemed grateful that she had not been abandoned by all of her friends. Eleanor had been back in New York for much of July on Waldorf Design business. But she and Cyrus had to be back in Monaco a few days previously for a cruise around the Mediterranean on the Grimaldi private yacht.

Dan remembered hearing about plans for that cruise the last time he was at the apartment, recalled Blair gently chiding his dad about it not being some tacky Carnival Cruise, how beautiful she looked in her red and white dress, the smell of her perfume when they rode up on the elevator...He tried not to react as the memories of their last encounter flooded back. But Lily did sense a change in his demeanor the moment she mentioned Blair and wedding plans. She had some idea from Serena that Dan and Blair had been on friendlier terms prior to Blair's engagement, but it was a topic that Serena was never anxious to discuss. That Serena was so quiet about it had made Lily suspect there was more to it, especially when they had seemed very close at that May brunch, when everyone was last together.

Manners won out over curiosity, so Lily changed the subject, but filed the topic of Blair away to be discussed with Rufus very soon. It had taken Lily all of two hours to figure out what Rufus had been puzzling over for months.

Lily asked him if he had any plans, beyond babysitting her, while he was in the city. He assured her he was there for the pleasure of the visit, and was having a nice time catching up with her. She was charmed as always by his kindness and sincerity, but pressed, finally finding common ground in discussing some of the summer museum exhibitions at The Frick, The Met, and MOMA. After lunch, they poured through his magazines, both catching up on all they had missed in their respective isolations. Lily was very wistful at all that she was missing, in some cases, blocks from the apartment. Dan felt a new sympathy for her. He appreciated the irony of his own, self-imposed exile, while Lily literally was confined to her gilded apartment on the Upper East Side.

They devised a plan for the next day. Dan would join them again for breakfast, and then head over to MOMA for the Talk to Me Exhibition. He would return for lunch, exhibition catalog in hand, and armed with his best writer's observations, and give her his personal account of the show.

Eric and Rufus returned that evening, with Chinese take-out. Eric clearly enjoyed his day at Sarah Lawrence, and shared his experiences with Lily, who was thrilled at her son's enthusiasm. Rufus hugged his son, thankful that Lily had enjoyed her day. He was intrigued with their plans for Tuesday.

It was getting late, so Dan said his goodbyes and headed back to Brooklyn. Lily wanted to order a car service for him, but he insisted on taking the subway. She hugged him at the elevator, thanking him again for their lovely day.

Dan was incredulous that morning, but the day had gone far better than he expected. He was still mulling over what else he might like to do with his week, when he reached the hallway leading to the loft. Without warning, he thought he might be having a stroke because he swore he smelled Blair's perfume near his door. No escape, not even in Brooklyn.

Eric and Rufus returned to Sarah Lawrence for the second and final day of orientation. Eric had called his Fourth of July friend Lukas and got a lunch recommendation for them near campus, and a coffee date with Lukas for Wednesday.

Dan kept his promise and went to MOMA as Lily's proxy. He bought a copy of the exhibition catalog on the way in so that he could take notes throughout. Then he bought Lily her own copy of the catalog so they could review in concert.

He feared he might be having another stroke when he returned to Lily's and thought he smelled pierogies. To his amazement, he was not mistaken. She had ordered in from Veselka for them. Over borscht and pierogies, they spent the afternoon discussing media included in the Talk to Me exhibition.

His obligation was met, but he had had fun and Lily was so grateful, so he volunteered for an encore museum visit. Panic was in town, so Rufus would be in the studio for most of the following day. And Eric had his plans to meet up with Lukas. So the timing seemed right.

Lily's choice caused immediate regret (not that he let on) as it was a Givenchy retrospective at the Cooper Hewitt. She acknowledged this was a little far afield from his usual interests, but the exhibition would be gone at the end of the month, before the conclusion of her house arrest. He was her only chance of "seeing" it.

The next morning, he awoke from a dream. He remembered the hiss of "Givenchy" that escaped from Blair's lips on their shared day at W, and tried in vain to turn off the Blair commentary in his head. Anything but this exhibition, he thought. Obligation won out, so he headed into Manhattan for the third consecutive day.

It had been a couple of years since he had last been to the Cooper Hewitt, so it took him a few minutes to orient himself. He picked up the exhibition catalog from the gift shop on the way in, as he had done the previous day, and made his way to the first gallery. He wasn't half way through the introduction when he heard her.

"Humphrey, what the hell are you doing here?" He turned, startled. Her voice sounded wicked, but the broad smile gave her away.

Blair. Or, is it possible to have three strokes in as many days?

He must have looked like a fish, wide-eyed and mouth gaping. "Are you mute now, because I just don't think that is in the realm of possibility?"

After an eternity, he mumbled a sweet hello, and managed a sheepish grin. An awkward hug followed. She grabbed his taut, tan arm (unexpectedly grateful for summer and a short-sleeved Dan Humphrey) and dragged him over to a bench in one of the quiet, side galleries.

"Blair, I'm sorry. I...it is just...wow; it is just good to see you. I just, you know, I just didn't expect to see you. It never occurred to me that you'd be in the city...when did you get back?"

"Sort of an unplanned trip. I flew in day before yesterday. My mother and Cyrus were back in France last week, before leaving for their Mediterranean cruise. You remember about that. Anyway, my mother and I were having some differences of opinion on a few wedding details, so I may have waited for them to set sail so that I could fly over here and make some adjustments. Nothing she needs to know about."

"And you are punishing her insubordination by rejecting her wedding dress designs in favor of something inspired by Givenchy?"

"Listen to you, the fashion expert."

"Well, I did make it partially through the introduction just now AND I did have an illustrious career at W Magazine. Maybe you've heard of it?" That earned him a smack to the arm.

"No, my mom has been great. And I love my dress. I may have wanted a more traditional look, a nod towards Audrey, but Kate Middleton and her Grace Kelly knock-off dress has made that impossible. I don't want anyone accusing me of copying her."

Blair would be in no one's shadow, Dan thought. But it seemed to be a fear she demonstrated over and over again.

"But we are clashing about the shoes. And there are some issues with the printer here in the city. And the guest list. Don't worry, you are still invited! And I am still trying to track down a special pink rose, grown here, that must be included in my flowers. But I need to figure out how to get them through customs and into Monaco. And the chef at Butter is refusing to share her recipe for Veal Chop "A la Planche" with the palace chef."

"But what are you doing HERE?"

"Humphrey, it is Givenchy. Audrey Hepburn's designer. The genius behind her look. You cannot be this dense. I won't tolerate it. Her little black dress from "Breakfast at Tiffany's" is here. And her ball gown from "Sabrina." This is my fashion Mecca! The Holy Grail!"

"Blair, can I take you to show and tell?"

"Are you mental? I have no idea what you are talking about."

So Dan explained his Givenchy mission. Her massive to do list immediately tabled, Blair was thrilled at the prospect of having his undivided attention, of lecturing Dan Humphrey on some serious couture. She grabbed his arm (again, and quite possessively, or was he just deluded?), and proceeded to guide him through the entire exhibition. Her enthusiasm was off the charts. He didn't have to read the first placard or open the catalog: she knew EVERYTHING.

Once through, she insisted on going back to look at Holly Golightly's dress again. He was glad to indulge her. She was stunning, guileless, full of girlish wonder and unabashed, giddy delight, and much to his dismay, she caught him staring at her. She swallowed hard at his desirous look, and stammered a weak "What?" in an effort to buy some time and regain her composure.

Alone in the gallery, and emboldened by her visceral reaction, he leaned in close to her, grazing his jaw on her cheek in the process, and whispered in his gravelliest baritone, "Without your one on one docent service, I fear all of my future museum visits will pale in comparison. I will be requiring additional tours in the future."

He thought he might get a raised eyebrow or an indignant comeback. Instead, he saw something quite unexpected, panic. And reality came crashing back down around them both.

She gathered herself up, raised her chin, and said, "Come on Humphrey, we should not keep Lily waiting any longer."

They cabbed over from MOMA, across the park, in silence, sneaking glances at each other, hoping not to be seen by the other. Blair caught the briefest smile on Dan's face, and broke the quiet tension. She lightly touched his arm and asked what he was thinking about.

Dan looked up and regarded her evenly, confidently. "I have been to a dozen museums with you, Blair Waldorf. And I just realized today was the first time we actually bumped into each other."

She smiled at the memory of their field trip procedures and their non-date dates.

Dan didn't say anything when she linked her arm in his and put her head down on his shoulder. He wished for the ability to permanently imprint the smell of her shampoo on his person, a Blair Waldorf scratch-n-sniff sticker for his writing notebook, perhaps. They rode the rest of the way in companionable silence, both wishing for anything that might delay their short cab ride, this last opportunity at anonymity before returning to the real world.

As usual, Blair composed herself instantaneously (how does she do that he wondered for the hundredth time), and waited for him on the curb, while he paid the cab driver. They rode up together in the elevator, Dan, with his eyes closed to better appreciate her Chanel #5.

Dan apologized for the delay, and all was forgiven when Lily realized he brought her a surprise guest. He set an extra place for lunch, listening to them catch up. He caught her furtive glance back at him when Lily inquired about Louis. Dan realized he had never once asked about her fiancé...and Blair had never mentioned him.

Lily teased out important information that Dan had not asked. Blair was staying at the penthouse. Dorota was there during the day, thrilled to have Miss Blair back for a few days. Louis had stayed in Monaco. She would be in town through the weekend, with plans to fly back on Monday.

Somehow Dan ended up seated between them at the table, and felt like he was at a tennis match, watching them volley news and gossip back and forth. When he got up to refill their drinks, Blair could not resist a cater waiter joke at his expense. He favored her with one of his throaty laughs. He nodded at her, towards Lily, as he made his way back to the kitchen. Without interrupting her narrative, Blair got up and switched places with him so that she, rather than Dan, would be next to Lily. He came back in with drinks, and the Givenchy exhibition catalog.

"Lily, Cooper Hewitt should have asked Blair to guest curate the exhibition. Or at least write the exhibition catalog's introduction."

Blair beamed at his compliment. She and Lily opened up the catalog, and Dan realized quickly that he had very much gotten the "boy" version of the tour because Blair and Lily were basically speaking in tongues after about five minutes. He expected them to be overtaken by the haute couture rapture at any moment.

After about an hour, long after lunch had been finished, he made himself useful and returned to the kitchen to make them some coffee. He returned in the middle of Blair's indictment of Edith Head, who, much to Blair's great consternation, had taken all the credit for all of the clothes worn by Audrey Hepburn in Sabrina, including an iconic suit and hat pairing and the black and white gown.

"Humphrey, I was telling Lily about Audrey's suit-"

"The one that she's wearing with the dog when she sees William Holden at the train station?"

"Yes! And that divine black and white ball gown-"

"The one with 'yards and yards of skirt?'" he asked, chuckling in spite of himself.

"Gold star! You were paying attention."

"Blair, we just watched Sabrina last week."

He asked Lily how she takes her coffee and prepared her cup while Blair moved onto costumes from Charade. Lily knew Dan drinks his coffee black, so she was curious as he prepared another cup-generous with the milk, which he had heated, and maybe half a teaspoon of sugar. He handed Blair the cup, which she accepted without interrupting her point. When she finally paused long enough to take a sip, she let out an involuntary sigh of delight. From behind his coffee cup, Dan smiled, and nodded once in acknowledgement.

Blair soon realized the late afternoon hour, and made her excuses as she had to race over to Madison to check on her shoe crisis. Lily made her promise to come back for dinner Friday night. Dan walked her out, and waited with her for her cab. As much as he did not want his day with her to end, he was obliged to stay and have dinner with his dad and Lily.

He put her in the cab, and shut the door. Dan started to move away, but turned back suddenly and leaned in through the open window. "Blair...I, um, I just wanted to say thank you for going to Lily's with me...it was a fun day...I've missed you...and our field trips."

His eyes pleaded with her to say something. She was an enigma; he had no idea what she was thinking. She gingerly traced the outline of his Humphrey jaw with her thumb. "I'm glad you shaved," was all she said.

And then, to the driver, "Jimmy Choo's on Madison."

Dan went back up to the apartment, and stayed until Rufus returned from the studio session. Eric had called to say he would not be back for dinner. Coffee with Lukas had turned into an all day outing. Lily, of course, had many questions about Lukas. The Humphrey men tried their best to deflect, out of solidarity with Eric, but Lily was very effective at sussing out the important details.

Dan had hoped to discuss the return trip to the Hamptons house with Eric, but rightly surmised that he would be out the balance of the evening. He stayed for dinner, but left soon after for Brooklyn.

Rufus asked Lily about how Dan had seemed to her. They had talked at dinner about Givenchy and the lunch visit, but Rufus noticed a gloomier change in Dan's mood from the previous day. Rufus was always more than a little nervous whenever Blair was involved, and he wondered if she might have done something. His children, Jenny in particular, had suffered at her hand on multiple occasions. While she had seemed to have matured over the last year and was nothing short of delightful at that brunch in May, he was still wary. Dan's change of demeanor had sent up a red flag and Rufus was not taking any chances.

"Oh, Sweetheart," Lily exclaimed with a mixture sympathy and disbelief. "Don't you see? Daniel has some very strong feelings for Blair. He is trying very hard to work them out."

"Lily, we all have strong feelings about Blair. I know she is devoted to Serena and you have known her since she was a little girl, but she has made life hell at times for my kids."

"Rufus, no. Listen to me. Daniel has feelings FOR Blair. I think he may be in love with her."

"What are you talking about? That can't be. That just can't be."

Lily, already in bed, watched him pace back and forth across the bedroom. "Rufus, it would explain a lot. He hasn't been happy. He said he needed to get away this summer to sort some things out, after she became engaged. It seems like he has been struggling with this for some time."

Rufus, back from a second round of teeth-brushing, lay down beside Lily. She regarded him coolly, trying to decide if she should press the issue. She did not have to; it was Rufus, after all, and he was quiet for all of thirty seconds.

"You haven't said anything to me about this before. How do you know? Did Eric say anything, because he hasn't mentioned anything to me?"

Lily put her book down and took off her reading glasses. "I will tell you what I saw, and what I think it means. You can draw your own conclusions."

Rufus managed a nod.

"Well, first of all, Daniel, of all people, brought her here, and she gladly came with him. When has that ever happened? They ran into each other at the exhibition, which could have just been a random encounter. But once they saw each other, they didn't just exchange hellos and go on their separate ways. He joined her and, from what I gather, she spent the next two hours giving him a personalized tour."

"But Lil, if he told her he was there for you, she might have just wanted to help, and to see you."

"Okay, that might be true. But you didn't see them together. He was so sweet with her. He seems quite charmed by her, actually. She is a tougher read, very guarded, but there was a level of comfort there with him. She seemed relaxed. Normally, she is just so uptight. I don't know, they just seem very familiar with each other. And then there was an inside joke about Daniel being a cater waiter that he found particularly funny. There was something about him laughing at her joke, a look they shared, and that she looked pleased that he laughed."

"Couldn't that familiarity be explained by close proximity? High school and Serena? They have known each other or a long time now."

"I suppose...okay, how about this? When we sat down for lunch, Daniel was seated between us. But I'm afraid Blair and I were a little overly enthusiastic about catching up. Well, he got up, maybe to get some more water, and, okay, you are going to think this is a stretch. On his way to the kitchen, he sort of nodded at her, mind you she is talking at the time. She got up, still talking, swaps his plate, glass, silverware for her own, and relocates to his seat. He came in with the water pitcher and the catalog, which he set in between Blair and me so that we could look at it together while we talked. She knew exactly what he wanted her to do with just a simple nod."

"A nod? My son loves Blair Waldorf because he nodded at her?"

"Rufus, you asked me what I saw, and for my impressions. Please. These aren't just some random observations. Yesterday, he went quiet when I was telling him about seeing Eleanor and talking about plans for Blair's wedding. I wondered if there was something then. Today, let's just say I observed their interactions with that in mind."

"I'm sorry...I'm just trying to sort this out."

"Oh, and then he fixed her coffee."

"He fixed her coffee? I fix you coffee all the time. So?"

"Yes, my Darling, and it is wonderful. But don't you see? You know how I like it. We are an old married couple, after all. Daniel made us coffee after lunch, and brought it into us. He asked me what I like in my coffee, immediately fixed it, and handed it to me. He didn't ask Blair whether she wanted any or how she takes it. Frankly, it was fascinating to watch. Blair was talking about Audrey Hepburn in Charade, I think, and Daniel measures out the milk and the minutest amount of sugar, and not artificial sweetener, by the way, and adds the coffee. He stirred the coffee and seemed to study the color of it before he handed it to her. She barely looked up when she took it, but when she finally paused to take a sip, she just drank it...like she knew what to expect. He clearly got it right by her reaction after she had taken the first sip."

"So, we have a nod and the fact that Dan makes good coffee."

"Rufus-"

"But Lily, if you what you say is true, it sounds like it the feelings aren't one-sided. But is that possible? I mean Blair is engaged."

"Honestly, that is what I can't wrap my head around. Blair is very much engaged, was very excited to talk about the wedding plans, and seems destined to be a princess. But she clearly has a deep connection with Daniel. I wonder if she just hasn't come to terms with what that means."

Rufus considered all of Lily's observations. After some time, he realized he held the missing piece of the puzzle. "Lily, you know months ago, Dan asked me to lunch. He wanted some advice, but was more than a little hesitant to actually discuss the problem. He had been sort of seeing someone...hanging out I think is what he said...but not romantically he insisted, and they weren't really comfortable being seen out in public. But it sounded serious, and I asked if maybe they did not realize that they had feelings for each. He said emphatically no, and that they weren't really even friends..."

"Oh, Rufus! That's it. They must have been in denial then. I think it is pretty clear that Daniel has realized his feelings for her. How long ago was that?"

"February. Maybe early March. I'm not sure. Lily, the night you turned yourself in, at Chuck's party, I saw Dan talking to Blair, and teased him that I hoped that Blair, or someone like her, wasn't his secret relationship. No wonder he hasn't wanted to discuss it with me."

"That is a long time. Even before Charlie was here. Well before the prince. Poor Daniel. And Rufus, don't beat yourself up. If he had wanted to talk about it with you, he would have. He knows he can talk to you about anything." Lily sweetly kissed him good night. "Try to get some sleep."

Rufus sighed. "I love you, Lily."

"I love you too, Rufus."

Both lay awake for some time. Rufus was worried about Dan, and was castigating himself for being so insensitive and clueless about the situation, and for so long. The thought that Dan was so unhappy, and had been so for such a long time, was extremely unsettling for him.

Lily was also worried about Dan, but was puzzling over some other troublesome thoughts. Blair, engaged to a Monegasque prince, seemed to be in some kind of denial about the nature of her feelings for Dan. And if she was right, perhaps more worrisome, how would Chuck react if he were to find out. She loved her sons, but they did not share the sentiment with each other.

Well past midnight, Dan Humphrey stared at his bedroom ceiling, also unable to sleep. He had picked up two different books, but found he could not concentrate on either. His phone buzzed with a new text message. "Meet me at 9:00 am sharp in the lobby." He did not respond; he did not have to. She did not expect a response because she knew he would be there.