"I'm Ino. I love Shikamaru. I hate Shikamaru. I love Shikamaru. I hate Shikamaru."
"I'm Sakura. I can't get a boyfriend so I'll stumble across the hall and sleep with the first guy I find there."
Chapter Two
Idealism
August 23, 2006
At first glance, Ino is your typical pretty girl, something that Sakura attributes to her platinum blonde hair and C-borderline-D cups. If you go deeper, you'll find that Ino is still a pretty girl. Even deeper and you'll find the same thing. There are only four people who know Ino, despite her frivolous, superficial attitude, is more than just a pretty girl. These people are Sakura, Chouji, her father, and Shikamaru.
It's not that Ino doesn't like being a pretty girl; on the contrary, she absolutely loves it. That's why she chooses to bask in it, let it sit and become part of her personality. It's just that if you subtract the flawlessly done makeup, brand name clothing, and ridiculously expensive designer purse, you get a little girl that still believes that Prince Charming will come and whisk her away on his white horse. The blonde hair and the boobs make it rather difficult for her to find him, despite what the movies advocate. They distract men and distort her idyllic picture of a happily ever after.
Most people would call her a hopeless romantic.
She just says that she has high standards; as a perfect ten, she will settle for nothing less, and this is the truth. Ino does not simply want to be serenaded and treated like a princess, nor does she want butterflies or romance. She demands it. Ino is a firm believer that this is all a relationship should be - romance, flattery, and gratification.
This is why she finds it strange as she looks across the table to Kiba. They are in a candlelit private Italian restaurant, old sonnets from the fifties humming in the background. The bouquet of roses he has given her sits quietly in her lap; this is her fifth date with him, and Ino surprisingly feels nothing.
Kiba is as close to Mr. Wonderful as any guy can get. He can be the sappy best friend you watch chick flicks with all night, the masculine but playful jock that carries you around when you're feeling tired, and the sensitive poetic guy that takes you out on quiet dates and goes on moonlit walks with you when he wants you to feel beautiful. Ino really wants to like him, love him, and fall in love with him, but she is only vaguely attracted to him. This will be their fifth and last date. He'll be disappointed and she knows this; she can't help but feel a bit sad that sweet Kiba probably won't be this nice to the next pretty girl he takes on a date.
Kiba thinks Ino is a pretty girl, but pretty girls are plastic, disposable.
She smiles as she tells him good night and thanks him for the good time in that pretty girl way, charming smile and batted eyelashes; this is the part of her that he has fallen in love with, the part that most boys long for. He's distracted by her.
Ino closes the door on him and makes her way to the kitchen, where a half-crumpled piece of paper is sitting. She reads the sloppy scrawl, lazily written by someone who couldn't bother to lift his pen. The note instructs her to head over to the opposite end of the corridor once she takes off her makeup, puts on clothes that actually cover her, and therefore makes herself decent. She smiles tiredly. Ino washes off the perfectly done makeup when she showers before changing into a tanktop and old flannels. She ties her hair back into a ponytail before trudging tiredly to 206, where she finds Shikamaru and Chouji watching a horror movie, eating copious amounts of gummies and over-buttered popcorn. They regard her quietly, not taking much attention off the screen.
Ino laughs as Chouji latches on to Shikamaru's right arm at a particularly loud noise, letting out a rather unladylike snort. She throws herself down onto the couch beside them, yawning. Shikamaru hands her a bag of chocolate-covered raisins, which she readily accepts. She sighs a bit before leaning her head on his shoulder, unsparingly shoving fists full of popcorn into her mouth, eyes glued to the television.
Shikamaru doesn't think Ino is a pretty girl; he thinks that she is a beautiful, albeit flawed, woman.
This is the part of her that Shikamaru has fallen in love with, but it takes her approximately two more years to figure it out.
March 12, 2008
When she's older, Ino likes to imagine that she will have a doting husband, and two children: a boy and a girl. They'll live in the suburbs of Konoha and go to one of those private, prestigous secondary schools. She'll drive them to their soccer games before her international flights to business meetings halfway across the globe. Her husband and children will frequently Skype with her while she's away making big deals, doing big business. But for now, Ino chooses to chase after her other, slightly more realistic dream: being a fashion designer. She takes the back seat, doing free lance jobs in the fashion sections of obscure magazines, opening up her own online boutique. If Yamanaka Ino is anything, she is driven.
Sakura was always meant to be a doctor - she likes to help people, fix things, and ease the pain - but Ino had always found herself thinking, dreaming. She was meant to be more, greater and grander than anything medicine can offer. Ino is destined for greatness and she works hard in order to realize her fate. The living room is her workshop, the place where she slaves at a machine trying to create her latest (trendy) masterpieces for her website. She spends half her time analyzing fashion trends and catering to consumer needs and the other half writing sugary, motivational fashion articles for frugal teenage divas. Some days, Ino looks back on her life and laments its lack of organization; but she knows, truly, that in the end, her effort will pay off. Her dream is in its starting stages and it needs support and nourishment if it wants to survive. It requires all of her dedication - no distractions, no nonsense.
But Ino is pregnant, and pregnancy doesn't exactly fit into the picture when she's trying to piggyback her little business to glory. She's waiting in Sakura's apartment with Naruto and Sasuke to tell her the news when she loses consciousness.
When she wakes up, Sakura is by her side, because Sakura is always by her side, sloppily put together and waiting. "You're up," Sakura finally croaks after a while before inhaling deeply. Sakura tells her that it was an ectopic pregnancy, that she shouldn't feel guilty because it started out that way, and that during the surgery, Sakura - the on-call resident at the time - was the one that had to perform the salpingectomy. She also tells Ino that she must stay in the hospital an additional day. Ino is nervous because she'using intimidating medical terms, which leads her to the conclusion that her best friend is beating around the bush.
"Will I be able to have children?" the blonde asks suddenly, cutting Sakura off.
Sakura stares at her for a while before replying. "Your left Fallopian tube was removed," she manages. "Though the possibility of implantation is significantly lower, you are still a viable woman." Silence lingers in the room as Ino anticipates the rest of Sakura's reply. She expects questions, so many questions; who was it? Why didn't you tell me earlier? What were you planning to do? Instead, Sakura smiles at her warmly, the kind of smile that Sakura has used to make countless boys fall in love with her. "You'll still get it," she states.
"Get what?"
"The two kids, a boy and a girl," her best friend begins slowly, and Ino laughs. She laughs until she's sobbing hysterically. She barely registers when Sakura leans over and encompasses her in a hug. "Never do that again," she says wearily. "My hand shook during surgery - and my hands never shake. I made half of my interns and an OR nurse cry today!"
"Wow," is all Ino can say. She whistles awkwardly, patting Sakura's awfully matted hair. "Sorry for ruining your day off," Ino apologizes weakly.
Sakura snorts. "No big deal, you know I live here," she retorts. "Plus, we've got a bit of company." The woman jerks her back in order to gesture to the door. "You can come in now," she bellows. Their four boys file in one by one. Shikamaru and Chouji are quiet while Sakura stands up and they take her place on the bed. "No manhandling the goods, boys," Sakura says sternly. She turns on her left heel. "I'm heading home now, but I'll be back in time for dinner. Want take-out?"
Ino grimaces. "I am on a diet, Forehead," the blonde whines. Sakura rolls her eyes.
"Okay, yeah, I understand," the rosette replies. "Chicken stir-fry, light on the spice, extra broccoli and a side of the peanut sauce. Udon noodles, right?" Shikamaru smirks at this as Ino sighs in defeat.
"You're impossible," Ino moans, shaking her head in disbelief. "God, the patient care here sucks. You suck!"
"Love you too, sweets," Sakura says, flipping her hair for emphasis.
"Are you two done flirting yet?" Sasuke jibes while Naruto snickers in the background. The man is tapping his foot impatiently, already halfway out the door. Admittedly, Ino would have thought he were attractive if he weren't such a diva.
Ino sticks her tongue out at him. "She was mine first, pretty boy," the patient taunts. She waves her right hand in a motion to usher them out of her room. "Run along now, peasants," Ino dictates, sticking her chin up. Sasuke makes a point to sneer at her as before he (finally) struts out of the room, Naruto and Sakura in his wake. Before exiting, Sakura pauses to wink and blow Ino a kiss, wolfishly. Ino catches the kiss with her hand and grins. "Don't keep me waiting too long, babe!"
"Wouldn't even dream of it," she replies silkily. "Oh, and-" Her best friend shoots a meaningful look at Shikamaru before returning to her patient.
"Sakura," the raven-haired man once again interjects. Sakura pouts as he grabs her by the wrist and pulls her out of the room. Ino shakes her derisively.
"Where do those two men think they're going with the love of my life?" she asks Shikamaru and Chouji, who are now staring at her intently. Shikamaru clicks his tongue and Chouji gulps.
"Sometimes I can't even tell if you're joking or not," Shikamaru says, leaning his elbow on her night table. "You two are both way too involved with one another." Chouji nods his head in agreement.
Ino painfully looks away from Shikamaru's calculating face and becomes increasingly aware of the protective hand she had placed upon her abdomen earlier. She loves her boys and the comfort they give her, the particular atmosphere of relaxation and nirvana that she can never quite achieve when she's with Sakura, but right now she would prefer her female friend's company. Right now, it hurts to be in their company because Ino is a very honest person and she's half-dying to tell him, to blurt it out right now.
Shikamaru doesn't know.
Shikamaru should know.
And it's killing her because she knows that he will find out.
May 6, 2007
Ino doesn't really like toddlers because they're messy, even more so than infants, and are evidently lacking a sense of hygiene and personal space. She does not enjoy little three year olds running up to her at the park with their muddy fingers clinging to the edge of her skirt, nor does she enjoy their not-so-discreet inappropriate comments (where do kids that age even learn things like that?). Little kids are so much more adorable before they learn how to articulate themselves.
However, Sarutobi Hana at age three is Ino's absolute favorite person. Ino dotes on her by frequently taking her out to her favorite bakery on weekends, constantly searching the toddlers' section in department stores to buy Hana dresses, and taking her to work when Kurenai is traveling. Hana refers to the blonde as "Ino-hime" and sometimes puts on fashion shows for her at a whim, strutting around in her new dress of the week. Hana doesn't talk too much around strangers, makes it a point to wash her hands properly before she touches someone or eats her dinner, and is basically what Ino likes to call "heaven sent." Despite being Ino's favorite, there is one person that said toddler adores more than her: Shikamaru.
She calls Shikamaru "Pops", apparently a way of saying "dad" but without the commitment. This breaks Ino's heart, as well as Shikamaru's, because although Hana is an angel, she doesn't have a father. Asuma's premature death is a topic they rarely mention but are constantly reminded of. They all struggle under the burden of loss, but are determined to be strong - if not for themselves, then at least for Hana. Kurenai endures, so Shikamaru and Ino and Chouji endure - and above all else, Hana is loved.
On a particularly sunny Saturday, Ino pulls Shikamaru by the ear to get him to go with her and Hana to the nearby park. Hana skips eagerly next to Ino, swinging her right arm wildly, causing Ino's left to do the same. Hana's other hand is firmly locked on to a small net with a wooden frame. Today, they are going butterfly catching - or "hunting", as Hana likes to refer to it. The dark-haired girl sings nursery rhymes as they walk, prompting Shikamaru and Ino to join in whenever she forgets the words.
When the trio arrives at the park, Hana instantly takes to the grassy, open meadows with her net.
"Hana-chan!" Ino calls after her. The girl looks briefly at her before returning to her business. "We'll be right over here!" The blonde gestures to the nearest park bench. "Don't wander past that big oak tree!"
"Yes, Ino-hime!" Hana sings, hot on the trail of her latest catch. Ino sighs exasperatedly before walking over and planting herself on the bench next to Shikamaru. The two bask in silence for a while, the latter lazily leaning back in his seat. He stretches his arms back casually and directs his attention to the heavens. Ino knows what he's doing - cloud watching. It's an activity that he and Chouji would do all the time in high school whenever they didn't feel like going to class. The two would go to the parking lot and sprawl themselves on the roof of Sakura's gas-guzzling pre-owned SUV with two sodas and a bag of chips and sit for the whole period, watching. It's a quaint habit that neither Ino nor Sakura have ever been fond of, but today Ino attempts to indulge in it.
"That one looks like a mermaid," Ino says, jabbing her finger in the direction of a long, wispy cloud.
Shikamaru snorts. "Don't look for shapes," he says. "Take them for what they are. Just clouds drifting." The blonde blinks before rolling her eyes at him. She huffs to blow her bangs out of her face.
"You're the worst, Shikamaru," she admonishes. "So devoid of imagination that you can't even see different shapes in the clouds!"
Shikamaru closes his eyes for a bit. "Things come as they are," he replies after a while. "Don't try to rearrange them to suit your own reality."
April 12, 2008
When work sweeps Ino away and brings her to Suna for its annual fashion show, the blonde girl finds herself entranced by the city - its culture, its people, and its fashion. She has never been so enthralled by a place and finds herself alone at night, wandering its streets with a different kind of uncertainty. There are looming shadows in the background as she makes her way to her rented flat, so she nervously quickens her pace. The rapid clicking of her pumps on the pavement echoes throughout the empty street as Ino enters the complex, hurrying up its wooden stairs.
She opens her laptop and to see that she has missed five calls from Haruno Sakura. Twenty minutes later, a ringing sound informs her that Sakura is calling her again. Ino notes her current state of undress before shrugging - Sakura would likely disregard this fact in place of her actually picking up. She answers the call only in her underwear, hair still wet from showering. "What the hell took you so long to pick up?" Sakura's voice demands. Noticing Ino's apparently lack of clothing, she grimaces. "Nevermind. Put a shirt on, will you?"
"You know you like it!" Ino smirks at her computer screen before scampering off to change. She returns with a lit, overstuffed cigar, scantily clad in a tanktop that is two sizes too large. The straps persistently slip off her skinny shoulders as she brings the cigar to her lips. The blonde blows smoke rings for the camera, being careful not to get ash on the pristine white sheets.
Her friend glares at her through the computer. "You better bring some back, Ino," she orders, delicate features illuminated by the light of her screen. "Doctor's orders."
The blonde snorts derisively, shaking her head. "I thought you quit," she says. Ino hears shuffling in the background of Sakura's apartment and checks the time on her laptop. "Isn't it like, three over there? Why aren't you guys asleep?"
"I got off of work an hour ago and Naruto's in a stage where he can only write after two in the morning and before five," Sakura drawls before readjusting herself on the couch."And Sasuke-kun is himself, pretty much. How's Suna?"
Ino smiles brightly. "It's fucking fantastic!" she exclaims. She takes a drag of her cigar and exhales slowly. "The guys are hot, I live literally three blocks away from the boardwalk, and the shopping district is endless, I swear." The blonde appears to contemplate something before continuing, "We should come here for our honeymoon."
Sakura rolls her eyes. "Doesn't that constitute marriage, Ino?" The woman pouts, crossing her arms. "You didn't even buy me dinner!"
"Sakura-chan," Ino retorts, placing an emphasis on the suffix, "you were there when I lost my virginity. I think that you owe me more than a dinner, thank you very much."
The pinkette giggles, something that she hasn't done since high school. "Hey, hey!" she whines. "Not so loud!" Sakura dramatically looks to her left and her right before facing the screen again. "They might hear you," she whispers, eyes widening. "But anyway," Sakura continues, "how was I supposed to know that you were going to have sex with the guy? Excuse me for having faith in your abstinence!"
"Right," the blonde says sarcastically. "What else were we going to do in his room alone under the influence of alcohol?"
"As much I would like to reiterate your sexual endeavors pre-devirginization," her best friend replies smoothly, "I doubt that you yourself would like to be reminded of them, Yamanaka-san. For all I know, you could have been playing board games with him during that twenty minutes."
"Sakura!" Ino cries. "We do not talk about that? Okay? Okay. Understood. And it was so longer than twenty minutes, you supercilious bitch!" Sakura snickers in response. "Fine, fine. At least he lasted longer than yours! How long was it again, ten minutes?"
"Well, we were together for a long time and we were both virgins-"
"Sakura," Ino interrupts, "you ran into my dorm crying fifteen minutes after, asking why you always did this to yourself. The guy couldn't even get you off with a-"
"Hey Ino, remember the time where you hooked up with that really hot redhead at some frat party and she refused to give you back your thong because she wanted to add it to her shrine of you?" At this point, Naruto's obnoxious laughter indicates to Ino and Sakura that Sakura's two roommates have, in fact, been eavesdropping. "Sorry about that," she apologizes lamely.
"Whatever," the blonde replies nonchalantly. "I'm going to sleep soon, and I recommend that you do the same. You look like crap."
"I look better than you, pig," Sakura mocks, smugly smirking.
"That's not possible," Ino deadpans. "One, because I'm smoking a cigar, and two, because I actually know how to take care of myself. Keep talking though, babe." The blonde yawns, taking one final drag of the cigar before setting it on the ashtray. She stretches back before placing her computer next to her and settling her head on her pillow.
Simultaneously, Sakura responds. "You don't even know how to smoke one properly," she chastises, "I bet you lit up with a zippo!" Ino notices that she doesn't comment on the latter part of her statement.
"Hey, don't you have another shift in like, two hours?" the blonde asks quietly, softly. She watches as Sakura's facial expression changes from amused and irritated to sentimental. "Get some sleep, okay?"
"I just wanted to talk to you," Sakura says, dawning one of those secret smiles of hers. "Not that I miss you or anything, idiot." Her eyes betray her playful tone - Ino knows that Sakura is so, so tired, and not only from the hospital.
"I'll bring you along next time," Ino offers. "I'll tell the company that my lovesick wife can't bear to be away from me for more than a day."
Still smiling, Sakura thoughtfully leans her cheek against her left hand. "Sounds pretty accurate to me!"
Ino falls asleep to the sound of the woman's gentle laughter. The melody weaves its way into her dreams and makes her think of carefree summer nights with Sakura by her side, gazing and whispering to the stars.
Only Ino detects its new, bitter undertone: of regret, mostly, but also of unrequited love.
August 1, 2008
When Ino falls on hard times, she takes the car four years back and forty-five minutes away to the outskirts of the city to run her parents' flower shop. Well, not really parents', more like her father's, but she figures that because the shop is her mother's legacy, it can be both of theirs, together. Apparently Ino's mother had a knack for making arrangements and had met Inoichi while he was purchasing a bouquet for another girl he was supposed to take out on a date the following week. In the end, he had left with her cellphone number and Ino's mother took home a small bouquet of carnations in exchange.
It was love at first sight; or at least, that's what people have told her. Inoichi never speaks much about his late wife, except to light a candle for her on her birthday every year. Sometimes he'll cook and tell Ino that it was her mother's favorite, but the conversation about her never delves much deeper than that.
People say that she looks like her mother, but when she sees her reflection in the mirror of the flower shop, she only sees herself. Sometimes she wonders what her father sees when he looks at her - his daughter or some lingering ghost of the past. Ino likes to think that it's the former, but her father's occasional nostalgic and forlorn gaze convinces her otherwise. Her father thinks of her as a replacement, and a just tiny part of him may resent Ino for taking the love of his life away; not that anything was ever Ino's fault, but she would understand where he's coming from if he did.
"I want to visit her," she tells her father as he begins to close up shop for the day. Business hasn't been too good lately and Ino personally blames her generation, which is so sex-driven that it seems to have abandoned all notions of romance. He's silent for a moment as he mulls over the request in his mind. He brings himself to his full height and nods at her, beckoning his daughter to follow.
When they arrive at her tombstone, he gives his daughter a yellow carnation.
"I was pregnant," she confesses, and her father doesn't budge. He's too busy staring at the name engraved on the slab of stone. "There were complications - I had to go into surgery," Ino continues quietly. Inoichi's focus remains on her mother's name, melancholy seeping in from all edges. The blonde woman sighs. "I survived." She places a timid hand on her father's right elbow. "I am here. I survived," she repeats, slowly.
Inoichi nods before throwing his arm over his daughter's shoulders. Bringing a calloused hand to push her bangs back, he smiles absently. "Of course you did," he replies knowingly. "You truly are your mother's daughter."
Ino drops the flimsy yellow carnation on the ground as she stands next to her father. She stares at her mother's name for a while before watching the flower float away with the breeze.
They are simply existing.
