A/N: Guess this comes as a fast update!
Thanks to anybody who has been following this story or favorite it. I'm so happy that someone likes it! I'm going to be off for 2 weeks for a holiday, but hopefully when I'll get back, several chapters will be written =) ! Thank you so much for you support!
Hope you enjoy!
Beta: CaramelApple74.
/
Chapter 1
Kurt spent the last few days feeling like shit.
He wandered carefully around NYADA, trying to go unnoticed as if he'd done something wrong.
He knows he hasn't because that was just Sebastian – Mr. Smythe, actually – who pushed him against the shelves, and Kurt just really didn't want that closeness between them. He didn't, right? Okay, there was maybe the slightest little moment during which he felt a hint of pleasure, but that's completely normal because Mr. Smythe is attractive. He's too much of a jerk to be attractive as a person, so Kurt just took advantage of the fact that he looks sexy.
It's just like crap, the simple fact that he admitted to himself that he thinks he's sexy. It makes him stumble as he walks along the hallway to reach the ballroom.
Also, he doesn't really understand why he should take advantage of it. He's completely fine with Blaine, doesn't need anything and anyone else, especially not an asshole. It's just that he found it endearing to be pushed against a bookshelf because Blaine isn't that kind of guy, so Kurt isn't used to it. It's not like it's better than their usual ways, it's just different, and the first time, different can be exciting.
It's Monday, and Kurt still hasn't gotten the chance to talk to Blaine about the library accident and somehow he also feels uncomfortable with the idea of sharing what happened with his boyfriend. It's one of those things one keeps to himself, isn't it?
"Going somewhere interesting, Hummel?"
The voice cracks his nerves right when Kurt was about to turn in the hallway that was going to take him to the ballroom. It breaks into him and fills his veins with panic, making his stomach twirl because he knows he can't ignore him.
He turns slowly, and all he sees is Sebastian Smythe, Mr. Smythe.
He's obviously smirking, shoulder pressed against the wall, arms crossed to his chest and he looks totally attractive. Kurt tries to avoid the thought, though it gets harder when he lowers his gaze; Mr. Smythe is wearing a tight, white shirt, unbuttoned at the top and dark slacks that Kurt can barely notice because he's forced to look up not to stare at his collarbone. He doesn't want to think Sebastian is sexy, but the truth is that he is, even though Kurt doesn't care that much.
"Dance lesson?" he asks rhetorically, then lowers his gaze when two students walk behind him. He doesn't know why though; he personally hasn't done anything wrong.
"Hmm, schedules and stuff. Cassandra July is waiting for me."
Sebastian just smirks and looks away for a second before going back to him and shrugs.
"Although, the idea of Cassy yelling the crap out of you is way too appealing." Sebastian's looking at him straight in the eyes now, and Kurt doesn't know how the fuck he feels about it. "I'd have to disappoint you. I'm not here to make you late as you might think."
"S-so why are you here?" Kurt stutters a little, but then swallows the nerves down. He doesn't need to look nervous in front of him. "I mean, of course you want me to be late so that Cassandra would kill me."
He can't snap back too much though because Sebastian talked about examining him, and until Kurt's sure that Sebastian isn't the teacher who's going to do that for his extra exam, he doesn't want to take the risk.
"Yeah, well, I don't want your sexy ass dead," he says and smirks and crap, Kurt still finds it awkward, not only because Sebastian might be his teacher, but also because he's fucking thirty. He just blushes at the words, wondering if Sebastian's really stared at his ass. "Just wanted to remind you that you forgot your precious books on Wednesday."
Kurt knows.
Of course he knows.
He spent the whole weekend complaining with himself about how stupid he'd been to forget about the reason why he was there in the first place. There's also a part of him that wonders about how hard this guy must have been taking on him to make him forget about Baudelaire.
"I know," he confirms then and shrugs lightly, trying not to show him how nervous he is. And why is he feeling nervous about Sebastian anyways? Is that because it's his teacher eventually or because he is … so flirty and … whatever. "I think I'll … I think I'll just find another way to-"
"You're not going to walk in the library anymore, aren't you?" Sebastian asks, wrinkling his lips and looking so fucking knowing that Kurt wants to slap him in the face.
He can't do that though, not when Sebastian might turn out to be his teacher this semester. He just winces and looks at him in the eyes.
"I am," he snaps, murderously. "I just don't feel comfortable around you."
"Is it because I'm the librarian?" Sebastian shifts a little from the wall and takes a step towards Kurt, who steps back immediately. "Or is it because I'm hot?"
"You're not hot." Kurt sighs and blinks nervously again. Is this because he's lying? Is it because Sebastian just knows how hot he is? "It's just because I feel uncomfortable with you pressing me against bookshelves when you're ten years older than me, and …"
He freezes, unable to pronounce his words.
It's like he hopes that if he doesn't tell anyone about Sebastian being his teacher, it's not going to happen. It's stupid, he knows, but he really doesn't want to say it out loud. Sebastian's just smirking, by the way.
Sebastian, though, is looking at him like he just knows what Kurt was about to say, and this doesn't make him any more comfortable, indeed. But Mr. Smythe doesn't add anything, almost as if the knowing smirk he's throwing at him is enough about it.
"Well, you can't really stop coming to the library when I'm around," he tells him lightly, taking another step towards Kurt and looking predatory, "I am the librarian, so I'm practically there all the time every day."
Kurt gasps, taking another step back and feeling his body shiver with something unknown that he isn't ready to define yet. It's like this Sebastian guy scares him and at the same time, he gives Kurt the strength to fight.
"I'm coming whenever I want to," he tries to snap.
"You're coming when I want you to," Sebastian answers, his pupils going blown again and making Kurt's stomach flip with awkwardness. "But seriously though," he murmurs lowly, way too lowly for what's supposed to be a conversation between a student and a librarian, "I'm waiting for you to come to me this afternoon, 5 o'clock."
"I'm not coming to the library when you tell me to," Kurt whispers, looking straight into his eyes so that Sebastian knows he isn't joking. Still, there's a thick pain in throat and his hands are trembling around the few books he's holding to his chest. "I won't actually do anything you want me to. I'll find another library to get the books."
"So you can't resist me." Sebastian smirks and Kurt wants to slap him. Again.
"I can." He winces. "But I've already told you I feel uncomfortable around you." He looks around as a girl walks beside him and quickly adds, "Mr. Smythe."
Sebastian must find it funny because he's giggling and, once again, Kurt feels that twirling sensation in his stomach as he thinks he looks good when he giggles. He remembers this isn't even the first time he thinks that.
"Whatever." Sebastian shrugs and wrinkles his lips ironically. "I'll wait for you. And, well, if you don't come I guess I'll just have to think you aren't able to resist me. Sorry."
He spills the last word out sarcastically and turns on himself, walking away from Kurt without adding a word more.
Kurt finds it ridiculous that a thirty year old man has practically just acted like a ten year kid, and he finds himself sighing at the ceiling. Sebastian's weird; there's this sort of thing he has that confuses Kurt. Otherwise, he'd think Sebastian's just a flirty, nasty, older bitch, but it's not that it. He doesn't know if this is about the books they've mentioned in the library or about something that hides behind Sebastian's eyes, but it makes him shiver.
He won't tell Sebastian, that's for sure, but when he walks into the ballroom, ready for his lesson with Cassandra July, Kurt's legs are shaking.
/
During the entire afternoon, Kurt managed to avoid Sebastian.
Even though he knows that Mr. Smythe- or whatever he's supposed to call him- is right about the fact that he's the librarian and Kurt couldn't avoid him forever, he hadn't felt like going there at 5 o'clock. It's like there's a part of him that clearly fears what Sebastian might do. He hasn't stopped thinking about it for a second.
"Kurt?" Blaine's voice calls him as the four of them are sitting at a coffee shop nearby NYADA.
The voice makes him startle with guilt, and Kurt wants to know why he feels guilty since he hasn't done anything but push Sebastian back this whole time. Nothing more or less than that. Maybe this is somehow about the shivers and the way his stomach flips around Mr. Smythe, or the knowledge that he probably wants more from him if his blown pupils can be considered a proof for that.
"I'm sorry, I keep blacking-out." He sighs and lowers his gaze, sitting opposite to Blaine and Rachel, beside Adam. They're all looking at him, he can feel their eyes on himself.
"What's going on?" Rachel asks fondly, putting her forearms on the small coffee table as she looks at Kurt with worry in her eyes.
Kurt looks back at her and swallows, wondering if this isn't just the time for an honesty hour. In the end, he hasn't done anything wrong, so maybe all he has to do is talk about how Sebastian has been and then his friends and boyfriend would understand. There would actually be no reason for Blaine to be mad at him, is there?
"Just … things are getting a little tense at NYADA," he says, sighing and looking down for a few seconds. He's got it on the tip of his tongue; all he has to do is talking about it out loud. "You know, ordinary schedules, plus dozens of new books I can't find at the library because there are too many shelves."
He has no idea why he's doing this.
There's nothing wrong with telling your friends there's a freaking thirty year old man, eventually his teacher, hitting on him.
"Do you want help with that?" Adam asks smiling, and Kurt doesn't even look up to see it. He already knows Blaine's stiffening in his chair like he does every time Kurt and Adam share a conversation. "I know the library better."
Kurt turns to him, considering it.
Although he knows that Blaine doesn't really like when he and Adam spend too much time together alone, he also knows that this might be a precious opportunity; if he does go there with somebody, another boy, Sebastian's probably going to act like everything's normal, isn't he? Besides, he's the librarian, so it's not like he can flirt with any guy who enters the library (the thought of it makes Kurt wince at the idea that Sebastian might have chosen him as guy to flirt with).
"Yeah, that would be cool," he says and smiles at Adam, feeling a little overwhelmed. "I went there on Wednesday and I couldn't find anything I was searching for."
"The new librarian is weird," Adam adds suddenly, and Kurt gasps fast. "I still haven't got what kind of guy he is."
"You really don't wanna hook up with him, don't you?" Blaine asks, blinking over his puppy eyes and Adam laughs.
"Of course not. He's like almost ten years older than us," he says, and it's like he gets that Blaine dislikes him still.
"I haven't seen him yet," Rachel considers, wondering eyes rolling to the ceiling. "I'm curious though, because I've heard everybody buzzing about it."
Kurt stiffens uncomfortably in his seat, breathing in and out as he tries not to get lost into some sort of weird flashback about what happened in the library last Wednesday. Crap, it feels like they're talking about him too, like the fact that Sebastian is ten years older should make him feel guilty about something he hasn't done.
"Whatever, it's just that the gossip is been down lately," Kurt tries to change the topic, or least tries not to talk about this creepy age difference, "so the new librarian is like the coolest thing students can talk about. Poor NYADA."
"Don't be like that," Adam says, and he hits his shoulder playfully.
"No, it's true," Kurt replies, "And even if it weren't, I still think it's silly to talk about the librarian."
"What if he is hot?" Rachel asks and shrugs slightly. "Maybe everyone's talking about him because he's a tall, tanned, gorgeous guy with light eyes and charming smile."
Kurt stiffens and winces all at once, his voice sounding high pitched as he speaks.
"I bet he's not."
"Kurt, what's wrong with that?" Blaine asks, and Rachel's looking at him too like she's wondering about it. "I mean, you look tense, and we're just having some gossip here. It's what we usually do."
Kurt breathes in and looks down at the clock for a second; it's 4:45 pm.
What's he supposed to do?
This morning, Sebastian told him to come to the library, and Kurt partly still doesn't feel like it. But then, no matter how childish he wants to play it, there's still some books he needs for his extra exam and going to another library would just be a bore. Actually, right now, going there's a good excuse to sneak away from this conversation.
"I'm just tired," he answers, shrugging and looking back at the three people sitting at his table. "Gossip bores me when I'm tired."
He feels uncomfortable at the idea of talking about Sebastian with his friends. They don't know about him, they don't know about the closeness between them in the library, nor about the way Sebastian pursued him along the hallway this morning. And still, Kurt feels like they know because he's never been good at hiding things from his friends and boyfriend. So he's just going to escape the conversation until the topic doesn't sound interesting anymore.
"Gossip never bores you." Rachel looks at him, shocked.
"Yeah, well, it does today." Kurt forces a smile at her as he starts gathering his things. "I'm going to go now. I've got a few things to do."
He doesn't give them the time to answer, mostly because he's afraid of seeing their confused expressions. He stands up fast and just walks over the cafeteria, his heart fastening in hammering beats as he realizes that if his friends were suspecting anything before, they surely do now. Congratulations, Kurt Hummel, he thinks to himself as he rolls his eyes and walks out of the building.
It's a sunny day, weirdly. It's not hot, but there's a lot of light and a fresh blowing wind instead.
For a few seconds, Kurt just walks slowly on the way to the library, trying to calm down and not even think about where he's going. In the end, Sebastian's just a stranger. He can't really let a stranger have such an influence on him. Being hit on by a man in his thirties can be creepy, but it can't stop him from living his ordinary life. Not even if he the man is handsome and nasty and attractive and whatever.
When he reaches the library, he hasn't managed to feel better about this anyway, so he's just breathing in and out in front on the main entrance, probably looking ridiculously crazy to anyone who's walking by the building.
While the idea hits him – the fact that there are actually people walking around the campus and that his friends might see him, too – he just moves to go inside before the situation gets too hard to stand. He can take care of Sebastian without telling his friends. Talking about what happened would just make things more complicated for both of them, so he's going to deal with Sebastian alone.
He enters the library and immediately notices that there a few students sitting on the sofas and at the tables. It makes him feel better because he knows that eventually he's not going to be the only one in there like last time.
He passes through them, walking and breathing fast in time as he spots the B section between the shelves. All he has to do is get there, take the book and walk to the register to sign. If he's lucky enough, Mr. Smythe won't even be there, so he'll just sneak out fast and won't meet him – oh God, it sounds so good to Kurt that he really hopes that's what's going to happen.
But he can't be that lucky, of course.
As soon as he turns at the corner where the shelves are, he feels himself being tugged and almost yells. He would yell if he didn't have a hand pressed on his mouth and his back aligned to someone's chest. Panic starts immediately filling him as he can't see the person who's standing behind him, but then he starts to slowly recognize the familiar smell of cologne. Well, he has no idea why, but it calms him that it's just Sebastian. It's better than a killer, right?
"Hummel," a choked, low whisper comes out of his mouth and Kurt stops fighting.
His heart's beating fast, but at least he knows he's just that jerk. The awkwardness he feels when he realizes that he's relieved that it's a thirty year old man blocking him makes him feel a little sick though.
He tries to reply but his mouth is muffed by Sebastian's hand, and, once again, the only thing Kurt would wants is just to disappear.
"Just be quiet now, okay?" Sebastian murmurs, and his low voice brushes Kurt's ear so good that Kurt's shivering unwillingly. "I want to give you something, but you have to make sure no one hears or sees us ..."
Kurt rolls his eyes because he's the one who's making a scene. If he would have just stopped him normally, no one would notice and they would have thought it was just about books and the library. This is the realization that makes Kurt startle against Sebastian's fingers, because the fact that the librarian- whose ten years older than him- wants to give him something is unpleasant.
He nods though, and like he'd thought, Sebastian lets go of his mouth which is amazing because Kurt can breathe again without using his nostrils. He turns slowly towards Sebastian, already crossing his arms to his chest and lifting an eyebrow.
"Wow, pretty face, you're being judgmental again," he says shrugging lightly before Kurt can speak. "You don't even know what this is about yet."
Kurt sighs and rolls his eyes again, this time staring for a few seconds at ceiling. These seconds are what he needs for his heart to go back to normality and stop hammering so fucking strong. He doesn't manage to achieve that, but at least he knows that he now looks calmer to Sebastian's eyes, which is good. He doesn't want to give this jerk an opportunity to think he has some sort of effect on him- even though he does.
"Look, Mr. Smythe," he begins, staying away from him as Sebastian leans his back against the shelves, "I thought you said I had a gay face. What is it with cute part today?" he asks lowly so that no one can hear.
He hopes Sebastian takes this as a signal, that it'll make him understand what he's doing is wrong. Hitting on a student is always wrong.
Instead, the only thing he sees on Sebastian's face has nothing to do with regret or apologies; he just smirks, and Kurt notices that his eyes are shining happily. Now that he's mistakenly taking a few seconds to admire him though – which is wrong and inappropriate, but Kurt just can't help it – Sebastian looks stunning.
He's wearing a light blue polo that leaves his thin yet muscled arms and the apparently tanned skin of his neck uncovered. His chest too looks particularly gorgeous underneath the soft material, and Kurt really doesn't want to see what's beneath it. When he lowers his gaze further, he can't explore his body anymore because he gets distracted.
Sebastian's now holding both of his hands behind his back and from the way he's hiding them, Kurt knows he truly has something for him. He hopes this isn't him being mean and throwing water on his clothes or something like that.
"I wanted to give you this," Sebastian says, like he's realized that Kurt's already seen it so there's no need to hide it any longer. He leans his right hand to him, offering a book.
Kurt doesn't even look at it because he's just focusing into Sebastian's eyes that are staring back. It's so strange that their gazes seem to exchange energy every time. Kurt's sure something like this has never happened to him before, to find a person with whom he had a natural bitching chemistry.
He moves his hand further and takes what he supposes to be Les Fleurs Du Mal, but Sebastian doesn't leave the book and makes him wince. For a few seconds, Kurt curses the fact that he's being so childish. He went there for the book and that's all he wants, but then, when Sebastian's fingers only wrap more firmly around the cover, Kurt finally looks down.
His eyes go wide open when he notices the book.
"Hmm …" he comments, blushing, feeling now like a new wave of emotions is washing over him. His heart's fastening again, hammering a terrifying tempo which includes a mixture of surprise and fear while his eyes study the cover of Bécquer's book in Spanish. "I-I …"
"You don't have to thank me," Sebastian says, sounding disgustingly lame and dirty, but Kurt can't keep his eyes off the book. "I had it for years, and since you're the only teenager I've ever met who knows Bécquer …"
For a minute, Kurt's just horrified at how sick the word teenager sounds from Sebastian's mouth, like he knows what he's doing, how old Kurt is, like he's well aware of this all. Then, his mind focuses on the first part of the sentence and he looks up in shock. Sebastian's eyes are still glooming, but he looks relaxed and just fine.
How can he look fine with what he's just done?
"Did you … did you bring me a book of yours?" Kurt asks, wincing, unable to just understand what the fuck goes through this man's mind. "You're the librarian …" he complains lowly as his fingers awkwardly tighten around the book and he pulls it until it slips away from Sebastian's fingers and is pressed against his chest instead.
For some reasons, Kurt realizes that he shouldn't take it. He should have left this book in Sebastian's hands. So why is it pressed against his chest so closely?
"Jeez, calm down. This is intellectual, not personal," Sebastian explains nonchalantly. "Although your gay face and voice annoy me a lot, I have to admit that I've been thinking about our little conversation in the last few days." Kurt steps back subconsciously, his heart beating faster than it should. "I've been … thinking about you."
"You shouldn't have," Kurt answers immediately, like he doesn't even want to give Sebastian an actual chance to explain.
Obviously, Sebastian doesn't give a shit about what Kurt wants. Kurt should have known.
"Don't flatter yourself, babe." He shrugs so easily Kurt just wants to slap him like he wanted to days ago when he met him. But then again, what he wants doesn't seem to matter here. "I was just thinking about how much of a literature geek you seem to be. I think it's cute, and, well … since no one sells it here, I thought you wanted to read Las Rrrrrimas," he imitates a Spanish accent awkwardly, "in Spanish."
"Oh."
That hits him and it's the only way Kurt can actually answer. His mind slowly processes what Sebastian's said and Kurt gazes at him while Sebastian chews his lower lip, looking so slightly hesitant, like he didn't want to mean it the way he did. But he doesn't take it back, which is weird, because Sebastian seems to be exactly the kind of person who would take it back when he feels like he has to without making too much fuss about it.
And yet, Kurt doesn't know anything about him, so maybe he should just stop imagining how he is, the way he acts.
"Hmm …" he murmurs, breathing harshly, now thankful to his body since it's put a certain distance between them before he could do it consciously. "Thanks … I suppose? I c-came here for …"
Fuck, not the stuttering.
This is the worst time ever to stutter.
It's like every word he stumbles onto just makes it clear to Sebastian that his beating heart's following the rhythm and the tempo of his stuttering.
"Yeah, you suppose," Sebastian ironically comments, and then his smirks back again and Kurt's so fucking thankful. "Well, I guess you should just take your Baudelaire and leave before you want to do something you might regret."
"I don't want to do anything," Kurt answers fast and as flat as he can, watching as Sebastian takes a step towards him.
Once again, just like the first time, Kurt finds himself with his back pressed against the bookshelves. He stopped worrying about his heartbeat. He just can't control it and can't do anything about it, so why bother? He knows it's just anxiety. It's not like his heart's beating for someone who isn't Blaine. Sebastian just puts too much pressure on him and Kurt's sure that he doesn't do it with other students, and not because he feels exclusive, but because Sebastian seems to enjoy making him uncomfortable.
Also, he said that he was impressed with Kurt knowing so much about European literature, so maybe … there's a slight chance that Sebastian likes this about him. The fact that he might like something about him is creepier than everything he's already thought.
Sebastian puts his hand on the shelf beside Kurt's ear and Kurt's already complaining when Sebastian's eyes gaze quickly at his lips. It's fast, but Kurt noticed. Nothing's going to happen, right? It's not like Sebastian wants to risk his job just to kiss a student who likes reading Wilde and Bécquer, is it?
"For now," Sebastian says, and Kurt has to make some efforts to remember the question as Sebastian's chest is almost touching his. "But what if you start wanting, huh?" he asks, his cologne filling Kurt's nostrils and his breath leaning on his lips. "You're a little intellectual rebel bitch. I like that about you."
"We … you shouldn't be so close to me," he says, trying to scare him somehow, but Sebastian looks so damn conscious. "Someone might see us."
The four words sound particularly nasty as Kurt whispers them, looking straight into Sebastian's eyes. He doesn't mean it like that, but it already sounds like an affair, which isn't going to happen. Not with the thirty year old librarian of his college, nor anyone else.
"I know." Sebastian trails back, and, for a second, Kurt thinks he's seen him sigh. He can't be sure about it though. "That's why you should leave."
This time his voice sounds so unbelievably serious that Kurt's almost relieved; he looks like a responsible human being. Obviously only because Kurt refuses to focus on the words and actually ask "Why should I leave? What would happen if I don't?" since the possible answers scare him to death.
"Yeah, I'll just …" he says, and when Sebastian's hand is finally completely away from the shelves, he adds, "I'll just take the book."
He has no idea why he's saying it, but he just shifts from the position and moves to reach the next shelf, just where the book was yesterday. He takes it while he's hanging on his toes and his legs shake because he can perfectly feel Sebastian's eyes on his body. He tries not to pay any attention to it. He feels like ignoring him is a good way out.
He turns towards Sebastian again, two books in hands now, and finally there's that sort of embarrassment that was supposed to hang between them long before. They look at each other silently, so much that Kurt thinks that the beating of his heart can now be heard filling the room. Their gaze doesn't interrupt for a few minutes almost, and then Sebastian's speaking again.
"You better go," he says, shrugging lightly, like nothing happened. Kurt can see that's not the case.
At least knowing that Sebastian is at least a little shaken makes him feel more relaxed. Maybe he's realizing that hitting on a student is wrong, finally.
"I agree," he says, his voice sounding newly high and steady. Finally, his heartbeat is going back to normal, too. "Thanks for huh … the books, Mr. Smythe." He raises them awkwardly, and for a second Sebastian smiles at his clumsiness, but then he goes back to a steady face, and Kurt seriously can't understand what goes into the man's mind.
"See you soon, though," Sebastian says eventually, shrugging lightly. "The lessons start tomorrow."
And here it comes again.
Kurt's completely frozen with fear at the idea that Sebastian might have something to do with his extra exam. He doesn't know what's creepier; Sebastian becoming his teacher, Sebastian pressing him into the shelves or Sebastian giving him a book of his own collection because Kurt's apparently the only teenager in the United States who actually knows who Bécquer is.
He's scared at the thought of asking though. Giving voice to these thoughts would make him look weak and exposed, like he has something to hide, too. He still hasn't forgot how much of an asshole Sebastian was when they met, and the fact that he's smiling practically means that he's going to make fun of him again if Kurt gives him the chance to.
And yet, not asking means not knowing, and he isn't ready to step into a room full of students tomorrow without knowing if Sebastian's going to be there. Knowing it would at least give him a chance to feel more ready.
So he does ask.
"Yeah huh … am I supposed to see you there?" he voices, but he sighs and looks down, unable to look straight into his eyes. His cheeks turn red because hell, it looks like they're deciding where they're going to meet and Kurt so doesn't want it to look like this. "I mean … not to see you, huh, are you going to be there?"
Sebastian shrugs again, God, he looks so at ease right now that Kurt envies him.
"I don't know," he says, and Kurt doesn't believe him.
He probably just wants to make him more nervous like this.
"I don't believe you," he says before he can stop it.
"That's not really my problem, cutie." Sebastian smirks and he's back to being the idiot Kurt met.
"It should be," Kurt answers directly. It's getting frustrating and Sebastian better know that Kurt won't assume any responsibility in what he does. "If you're a teacher, it's practically illegal for you to give me personal stuff, to press me into the shelves or to touch me to make me shut up."
It's out before he can stop, but maybe he doesn't want to stop it. His cheeks are now burning and he's tightening the hold onto the books, pressing them even more against his chest. Of all the handsome gay guys in NYADA, why is he the one into this?
Sebastian just looks at him for a few seconds, his smirk dropping at the words. It's like he's trying to play some game with himself, not to think about what he does when he acts like Kurt's just described, and now that Kurt's said it out loud, he can't escape it anymore.
It's probably just Kurt's imagination, because a second later he's smirking again.
"I guess you should report that to someone then, Hummel."
His eyes look challenging, but Kurt can't be sure about it. He wants to walk away, but his feet are momentarily unable to move because he's considering what would happen if he reported Sebastian for his behaviour towards him. He hates that he doesn't manage to denounce when he should. It's like he worries more about what could happen to a man who works, who has a wage and probably needs it, than he does about himself and the idea of being inappropriate with a teacher.
Kurt's lips are slightly parted, but nothing comes out of them.
Right now, he's just staring at Sebastian, wanting nothing but to go away and forget about this afternoon, just like he wants to forget about when he met him and that he has actually met him.
"As I thought," Sebastian says and gives him an ironic half-bow. "See you around, Kurt. Read the book."
He winks, but Kurt's just frozen there and he keeps his eyes locked at where Sebastian was standing without even looking as he walks away.
He swallows to himself.
Even if Sebastian's actually brought him something personal, this doesn't mean he's having an affair with the librarian. It just means that the Librarian's flirting with him and he's fighting him back. He's doing nothing wrong.
He presses his fingertips on the book, and, for a second, he looks down to stare at the cover of Les Fleurs Du Mal. He's suddenly happy that Baudelaire is covering the other book to his sight, because he doesn't feel like looking at it.
When his body moves again, he walks around the hallways in the library to get out.
His legs still feel weak with nerves, but he tries not to show it as he walks by a group of silent students.
When he's finally out of the building he realizes he was keeping his breath, so the air filling his lungs is sort of a relief. He walks around the campus, still unsure about what he's supposed to do.
Should he search for the guys and go back to their apartment together?
If he does now, will they notice how nervous he is?
Will they make questions about the book?
He realizes that he's probably exaggerating. Rachel and Blaine won't even know who Becquér is, and probably the same goes for Adam. They wouldn't know that it's practically impossible to find Las Rimas in Spanish, so it wouldn't look like the rare piece it is to their eyes.
Yes, maybe he should just go and look for them.
He's sure that his friends are going to keep his mind occupied with something that isn't Sebastian's smirk or his cologne.
It's going to work as a strategy eventually, because he won't think about Sebastian anymore during the day. But still, when he's going to go home and lay on his bed, beside Blaine, pulling out the book in curiosity, his brain will automatically go to Sebastian again, see the pencil notes the librarian has clearly left for him. At least some of them.
Kurt doesn't know this yet as he wanders around NYADA and calms down, totally unaware about the hell he'll go through during the next months.
