a/n: hey guys! before i get on with part two, i would just like to thank everyone who reviewed/followed/favorited this story so far. honestly, it means so much to me that people enjoy reading my writing and your kind words seriously make my day. thanks to my girls Tracey, Chrissy, Bree, and Jenn for all their support and encouragement. i'm a serious flake, but they kept with it and waited patiently till i finally uploaded this. love you all! also, thanks to Becky, poisonnwine, PrettyLittleCapitolSwiftie33 , megan-violet14, Guest, spencergaystings, cottoncandyscream, literarylesbian37, pinkcrazyness, SpobyFanForevz, . , and soshesays for their reviews. you guys are amazing :)
and-another quick thank you and virtual hug to my soul sister, Tracey, who not only agreed to write a collab story with me (read as: be hassled by me 24/7), but who inspired me to actually post this. love you to death, Tracebaby! #TranaFTW ;) and i must not forget Bree, who is a phenomenal Spobette writer, but yet somehow enjoys reading my crappy stuff. hope drunk!Toby is up to par, Breezy. feel free to virtual-smack me if it isn't ;) also, huge thank you to my Chrissy, aka guru extraordinaire, who is the Aria to my Spencer, and who is always leaving me reviews full of undeserved praise that make me bawl. hope you like, chica!
and finally-Jenn. i hope you enjoy this, because you deserve it. thank you for your friendship and dedication to the Spoby ship. xox.
so, okay-this part ends on a bit of a cliffy. scratch that, it ends on THE cliffy. most of you can probably guess what that means...
hope you all enjoy-drunk!Toby was very interesting to write :)
xox, -Ana
-:-
part two-the revelation
Twenty minutes later, Spencer knocked cautiously to the door of Toby's loft. She had no idea why she had come back; their argument had been explosive and ugly and she was surprised to get Toby's pleading phone call. Surprised...and relieved.
After storming out of the loft almost three hours before, she'd driven home, let herself in through the side door, clambered up the stairs, changed into Toby's anchor T-shirt...and then burst into wracking sobs. Still crying, she'd hoisted herself onto the bed, squeezing her burning eyes shut, and turned on her iPod, all those inescapable memories flashing through her mind, a backdrop to Andrew Belle's "In My Veins":
"I'm going with Spencer."
"It was kinda fun to kick your ass at Scrabble."
"If you ever get the urge to run away again, call me first. Okay?"
"If you need anything tonight, I'll be there for you."
"I had to see you."
"I love you so much."
"I can only think of one right now."
"For you I won't sleep until it's done."
"Hmmm, I'd like both."
"What's a nice way to say someone's obsessive?"
"Spencer...it's never gonna happen."
"If we had a real baby, what would it look like?"
"I'm not walking away."
"So you came here to tell me you can't be here?"
"Pretending not to love you was the hardest thing I've ever done."
"I don't want it back...you look better in it than I do."
"Maybe I can help..."
"I'll just...sit next to you and I'll watch you type. I'll be very quiet..."
"You're the one that needs protection!"
"I know who you are. You never have to say you're sorry."
"I love you."
By the end of the song, Spencer's tear ducts had vaguely resembled Niagara Falls. She hated fighting with Toby. She hated lying to him, hated that no matter what, there was almost no chance of them both being completely happy.
It hurt. It hurt more than anything.
And then, the phone call had come, and here she was.
It was one in the morning, and she was standing, tearful, at her boyfriend's door, even though she was beyond upset with him, just because he'd asked her to come. "I-I need you to come back..."
It was moments like these that she realized what a powerful hold Toby Cavanaugh had over her heart, moments like these that she realized all over again how much she loved him.
She loved him oh-so much. So much it destroyed them both.
"Toby?" She knocked again, growing slightly impatient. "Toby, are you in there?" She tried the handle; the door slid open with ease.
"Toby?" Spencer called again, stepping into the dimly-lit loft. "Toby?"
"Spen'er?" Toby rolled over on the futon to face his girlfriend, a bright grin lighting up his face. "That you?"
"Yeah, it's me," Spencer put down her bag on the coffee table, taking in Toby's deshievled appearance. "Toby, w-what happened?"
"You left me," Toby said sadly, sliding off the futon and almost tripping over himself as he made his way to her. "But s'okay. You're back. And you're not gon' leave me again, right?"
"Um, right." Spencer swallowed, her eyes zoning in on the mostly-empty bottle of Scotch sitting on the table. "Toby, are-are you drunk?"
"Noooo." Toby shook his head vhemnently. "I'm not drunk."
"Yeah, well, that's not a bottle of pixie dust you got there." Spencer pointed to the offending Scotch.
Toby shook his head again. "Just because I had a little of that...stuff...that doesn't make me drink...drank...drunk."
Spencer reached for his hand. "Toby-"
"For drunk's sake, Spencer, I'm not God!"
She couldn't help it-she burst out laughing. Though the situation was far from funny, she had to admit: drunk Toby was pretty damn adorable.
Toby's smile returned when he heard her giggle, and he moved closer, enveloping her in a tight hug. Spencer hugged back, cloing her eyes. She could smell the alcohol on his breath, combined with the woodsy scent of his cologne. Toby's hand came up to cradle her head, stroking her thick, dark curls. "Iloveyou," he slurred, pulling them both down onto the futon.
"I love you, too," she replied, kissing his cheek. "Even if you are acting like a complete idiot right now."
Toby brushed a piece of hair behind her ear. "Spencer?"
"Yes?"
"I'm sorry."
She lifted her head off of his shoulder, tilting her face so that she was looking into his alcohol-glazed blue eyes. "Sorry about what? You have nothing to be sorry about."
Toby's face clouded, a troubled expression washing over his features. "Yeah, I do. I have so much to be sorry about."
Spencer stroked his knuckle with her thumb, concerned. "Like what?"
Toby ignored the question, instead pressing a soft kiss to her mouth. Forgetting about Toby's admission, Spencer allowed herself to get lost in the moment, kissing him back with equal passion. After a few minutes, the couple breathlessly broke away, their foreheads touching, both of them smiling hugely.
"You still mad at me?" Toby whispered, caressing Spencer's face. She smiled; Toby was as affectionate when he was drunk as he was when he was sober.
"No. I could never stay mad at you," she murmured, kissing his forehead. "I love you, remember?"
Toby swallowed. "Sometimes I fo'get. That you love me, I mean."
Spencer was confused. Didn't Toby know the depth of her feelings for him. "How come?"
Toby evaded her question, leaning back against the futon, cupping her cheek so that their faces were millimeters apart.
"Spencer...sometimes I feel like I don't deserve you," he cooed, trailing a hand aimlessly through her silken curls. "You're so pretty and smart, and I'm...just this deadbeat carpenter."
"You're NOT just a deadbeat carpenter," she insisted firmly, although doubting that he would merit her words in his state (she doubted he even knew what he was saying himself, to be honest). "You're Toby. You're strong and handsome and hardworking and-"
"And you deserve somebody better. Somebody who can give you a happy life someday. Somebody with money and a good job, like that doctor guy..."
"You mean Wren?!" she asked incredulously, her stomach dropping. Neither she nor Toby had ever even mentioned Wren since the night of Mona's arrest. Since the night they'd sworn any secrets between them were of the past.
That promise had been broken a million times over.
"Yeahhhh..." he drawled out. "But I love you, I love you a lot. You know that, right? Even if I do bad things that make it seem like I don't-"
"What bad things?" she interrupted his tirade, pressing her palms to his cheeks.
Toby shook his head remorsefully. "Bad things like wear that black hoodie when I meet up with them."
Suddenly the floor seemed to tilt up toward her. Bile rose in her mouth, and she could hear her pulse thudding in her ears; her heartbeat accelerate.
No. No, there's no way...
"Spencer, I...I'm 'A'."
And her house of cards finally tumbled around her.
-:-
dun dun dun! what will Spencer do? will Toby be able to prove his love? why is Toby on the a team? all these questions and more will be answered in the third and final part-so stay tuned! and leave me a review to tell me if i nailed it or failed it! thanks guys! xox
