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Vanilla Pudding Princess
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Sometimes it's like this.
The times after, where she doesn't look at me for days. And she hasn't, not for days and days, but it's okay. Even though, it hurts and it's not okay at all. She said it was okay. I sent, like a hundred messages to her phone. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Because I was, and then she said it was okay. So I guess it is. But she still won't look at me.
But it's okay. Even though it's not.
I'm the first one at the table for lunch today, and it makes me nervous when Beck and Jade sit down across from me. I look up and smile, saying hi, and Beck smiles sweetly, but Jade doesn't look up. Just grumbles something I couldn't hear.
"What are you eating?" Beck asks suddenly, curious and confused. I look down at the plastic Tupperware that contains my lunch.
"Vanilla Pudding."
"That's it?" He laughs a little, and I really wish Tori or Andre or someone else would show up.
"Yeah, it was free." I chirp happily, proud of my frugal decision.
"Wait, free? Who gave it to you?"
"Some guy." I take another bite.
"Some guy?" He asks, confused again, and I find my gaze falling on the salad that Jade was violently stabbing, but not eating.
"He said he didn't want it." I mumble, my smile faltering.
"Do you know who he was?"
"No."
"Give me the pudding." I pout when I hear him say it.
"But—But it was free." My defense is obvious, but his expression stays stern.
"I'll buy you whatever you want if you give me that pudding right now." I pout harder, but he just smiles in a nice way that makes my heart hurt a little. Because he's so nice to me, and I all I can think about is how his arm is wrapped around Jade's waist, and how he's trying to steal my pudding. But, I sigh anyway, and slide the pudding over to him, because a turkey sandwich does sound better, and it doesn't even taste very much like vanilla. "Thank you. Now what do you want?"
"Turkey sandwich." I sigh again, and give him my sad eyes.
"Got it. I'll be right back." I'm about to smile, feeling a little better, until he places a kiss on Jade's temple before getting up. I feel my stomach sink a little and I bite my lip. Where is everyone else?
It's quiet once he leaves, and I want to talk to Jade really bad, but she's just looking down like I'm not even there. I even open my mouth a couple of times to talk, but no sound comes out, making me sigh again. I adjust on the bench, moving my legs to cross them under the table, accidently knocking my shoe into hers. She flinches, but then she's still again.
"I'm sorry." I say quietly.
"It's okay." She replies without looking up.
Then, Tori and Andre come stumbling to the table, and Beck's shoving a turkey sandwich in my face, but I'm really not hungry anymore.
