Rules Rule

21) Do not assume Wraith dead after you shoot them.

a. It takes a lot of bullets to kill them. And even when you succeed-

b. –there's always the chance their arm starts crawling around.

22) You are not to redecorate rooms, except for you own quarters.

Most people thought it was funny when Sheppard decided to paint the Gate Room blue. Dr. Weir surely wasn't one of them.

23) Jumpers are not to be left off-world.

a. Nor are they to be given to the Genii.

(Amen to that – Sheppard)

24) Flirting with the aliens; don't even think about it.

a. Unless it is a necessary step in the process of getting us a ZPM.

(You do know this rule is not going to stop him – McKay)

(Rule? – Sheppard)

25) Bugs. Just no.

Nobody is completely sure why Colonel Sheppard put this one up. It has been confirmed, however, that Gerald Baxter – the botanist with the bug collection – is now dead.

(Hey! That was because of Kirsan fever! – Sheppard)

(Says you – McKay)

26) There will be no playing hide and seek in the hallways.

27) You are not to plant a flag on a planet, star or moon and claim it is yours.

The locals of MPS-G77 weren't too happy when Major Lewis started a colony on their world. The only thing SGA-1 managed to recover were his toenails.

28) Everything is possible.

a. An attitude like: 'yeah right, like that's going to happen' or 'very likely' or 'that's impossible' will get you hurt.

b. Or worse.

29) There will be no bungee jumping off the towers.

30) Playing solitaire on the laptops is f.o.r.b.i.d.d.e.n!

The game has been removed from the laptops several times, but so far the scientists have always managed to upload it again.

31) You are not to refer to SGA-1 as 'The Fantastic Four'.

a. They have names and ranks you can use.

b. And we're getting sick of it.

(Not me – Sheppard)

(Shut up – McKay)

32) There will be no handing in mission reports later than planned.

a. Writing 'I am so very sorry I am late' a thousand times isn't pleasant.

(She's serious – Sheppard)

(You'd know – Ronon)

33) When they serve meatloaf in the Mess Hall, you are to eat it.

a. There will be no letting perfectly good food rot.

c. The cooks have spoons and other things they can hit you with.

34) Do not glide off the stairs banister in the Gate Room.

Lieutenant Hewkes glided off the banister three months ago. "Dear God" would be the best way to describe what happened when he hit the floor.

35) It is forbidden to trade our C4 off-world.

Colonel Sheppard will be more than happy to inform you about what happened when he traded our C4 to the Genii.

(Anyone who dares ask me about that incident, will be stuck behind a desk for three weeks! – Sheppard)

(Only you would think of sitting as punishment – McKay)

(Me too – Ronon)

(Oh please... like anyone would dare to put you behind a desk – McKay)

36) Jumpers are not tools.

(What is she implying? – Sheppard)

37) Never quote Dr. Phill.

a. Or Oprah.

b. Or any other TV-psychiatrist.

38) There will be no drinking off-world.

( ? – Ronon)

(She means alcohol – Sheppard)

39) You are not allowed to drink coffee near Ancient technology, laptops or invaluable things.

Once upon a time, SGA-9 spilled coffee over the DHD. The DHD wasn't broken, but the same could not be said for Captain Davis' arm when Chuck was done with him.

40) Transporters are not tools.

a. Yo-yoing in the Transporter is childish.

b. That, and we are getting sick of cleaning the hallways of vomit.

TBC...