AN:


"Why won't he shut off that damned noise?"

"I don't know, do I? I'm gay - I won't ever get round to kids, will I? And if this is anything to go by, I'm incredibly grateful to who ever the hell it was that denied me the opportunity!"

It was two hours later. Remus and Sirius sat side by side on the sofa, Sirius holding hands to his offended ears as Harry, tiring of Remus' weak attempt to rock him back to sleep, let rip with a Grade 8 special (high-pitched, full-on wailing with coughing fits that turned him blue every few minutes.)

"Personally, I reckon you denied yourself the opportunity, Pads. I've been doing some research into it, and I can only conclude that it is by our own choice that we are attracted to each other-"

"Hey, Moony?" Sirius yelled over the small child's operatic screams. "No offence, mate, but is this REALLY the time for discussing homosexual ethics, philosophy and wizarding biology?"

"It's a thought, though, isn't it?" Lupin mused, as though he hadn't heard Sirius at all. "I mean," He continued, "were we born the way we are, or-"

"I bloody well hope not!" Sirius roared, Harry's screams still threatening to burst eardrums. "If we are, Harry's gonna turn into a raging homophobe with fairy-bashing tendencies. And personally, that'd make my role as Godfather a tad pointless!"

"What, because you're doing such a lot to help him out now, are you?"

Sirius frowned at first the baby, then his lover, his face taking on an expression well-known to Remus as 'The Sulk of Sirius Black'.

"I changed the nappy, didn't I?"

Remus laughed, and patted him on the head like he would a spoilt child. What should have happened next was well rehearsed- over the years Remus had discovered Sirius' hatred of being patronized, and used it often to antagonise him into play-fights.

When they had been very young, these displays of mock aggression in Gryffindor tower usually ended in one or the other pinning their friend to the floor, laughing as the common-room burst into applause around them before helping the other to their feet.

In later years, these wrestling matches had become more private as the boys grew up- the results of which becoming less innocent with each bout.

But neither boy would admit to this lack of innocence until that memorable day at the end of sixth year when Sirius had pinned Remus to the floor and kissed him like there was no tomorrow, before completely ruining the moment by turning bright red and running out of the room, leaving Remus dazed and confused on the dormitory floor.

Strangely, however, Sirius did not look annoyed by this display of such an obvious attempt at belittling him. Instead, his face had taken on the far-away look usually adopted by Lily or Remus when faced with an idea.

"SIRIUS!" Remus bellowed hoarsely over Harry's wails, the baby now kicking his feet against the werewolf's stomach.

"Hmm…? Oh, Sorry, Rems. Hang on a tick…" Remus had to lip read the last few words, Sirius' mumblings lost under a tidal waves of renewed screams and coughs from the infant in his arms.

Before he could say anything, however, Sirius was gone. In his place sat a large, hairy black dog, sitting sprawled over the sofa cushions, tail thumping happily. Remus rolled his eyes, wincing as Harry let out a window-shattering howl and the dog licked his face at the exact same moment.

"PADFOOT! No, change back- NOW, Pads!"

The dog ignored him, and jumped onto the floor. Pausing for a moment to look up at Lupin, head cocked to one side in a playful gesture, Padfoot nuzzled the screaming child still sitting in his arms. The wailing stopped.

"Oh, thank Merlin…" said Remus, his face exhausted and drawn. He flopped backwards to sink into the soft leather of the Potters' sofa, keeping watch over Harry, who's sobs had slowly subsided into baby chuckles of delight, his little fingers clutching tightly onto the muzzle of the shaggy dog in front of him.

The dog licked the child's round, red face, his rough pink tongue grating in a not unpleasant way across his cheek. The baby was sat up now, clutching the dog's wet nose for support as he clumsily patted him between the eyes.

Remus leaned forwards to gently pluck Harry from his lap, who squealed indignantly before starting to gurgle happily as he found himself sitting astride Padfoot moments later, his baby-grow clad feet kicking shaggy fur and ribs beneath with apparent enjoyment. Lupin could not help laughing at the wounded look the bruised hound at his feet shot him before grudgingly taking a few tentative steps, Harry grabbing great hanks of fur to prevent himself from falling onto his nappy-clad, and subsequently well-padded, behind.

Padfoot looked back over his shoulder, staring at Remus out of one amber eye. His tongue was lolling and Remus could tell he was laughing.

Pushing himself up from the sofa, Remus walked over to the kitchen and opened the back door, Padfoot walking slowly behind, taking small, deliberate steps to avoid toppling baby Harry from his perch.

"Want to go into the garden, boys?" Lupin asked, looking down for approval. Harry kicked his feet and laughed, and Padfoot wagged his feathery tail with enthusiasm. Remus stepped aside, allowing Padfoot to trot out, sniffing the cool air of the evening.

"Not too far, Pads." Remus warned, and the dog turned, cocking his head, one ear raised as is to say "As if, mate."

They set off together, Remus holding Harry by the back of his baby-grow to prevent unfortunate accidents as Sirius trotted around in a slow circle on the grass, sniffing at the flower beds and looking up the apple tree in the middle of the lawn happily.

Harry hadn't screamed for over an hour, Remus noticed, and placed his other hand on Padfoot's head to stop him in his tracks. The dog complied, turning his head back as far as it would go to check on his tiny passenger.

Harry's eyes were closed, and little bubbles formed around his lips as he drooled in sleep, his fists closed up near his face, which was scrunched up.

"Right…time for bed, little one?" Remus whispered, lifting the baby off Sirius' back, where he promptly transformed into Sirius Black once more. He plucked Harry out of Remus' arms and carried him back to the house.

"Thank Merlin baby's sleep." Sirius muttered five minutes later, as the two young men flopped down on the squishy sofa, Sirius scooting over to lie down, his head in Remus' lap. Remus began stroking his hair slowly, gently, lovingly. Sirius' eyes fluttered happily and reached up with a hand to trace a scar over the bridge of Remus' nose.

"Hey, Rems?" He asked quietly, his hand still tracing his lovers' face.

"Um…yeah?"

"We never did solve that issue, you know."

"What issue?" Remus opened an eye warily.

"Whether we choose…or whether we just…are."

"And as I told you, you fluffy puppy, I think we choose to-"

"Aha, but I disagree! Sirius said, his face breaking into a playful grin and he sat up. "And I can prove we were born like we are, without choosing."

"Okay…" Remus said hesitantly, wondering what twisted logic his friend and lover had come up with to justify his argument.

"I can't have chosen, Moony, my love, because everyone knows how indecisive I can be…"

Sirius would have continued, but Remus had patted him on the head again, and this time it meant war.

Pouncing, Sirius pinned Remus down into the soft cushions and kissed him once, soundly on the other man's lips. Turning his head slightly, Remus deepened the kiss, his hands once more finding their way into the soft, dark locks of the darker man's hair. Moaning slightly, Sirius pushed his hands inside the bottom of Remus' shirt to feel the ripples of muscle and lines of scar tissue that he so loved about his canine partner.

"I love you, Moony." He whispered as he planted a kiss on Remus' collarbone.

There was no reply, and he immediately panicked inwardly, daring to glance once, just once, up at Remus' face.

He was asleep, his hand still entwined in Sirius hair. He sighed in his sleep, and rolled slightly to the left. Wrapping his arms around his sleeping waist, Sirius rested his head on Remus' shoulder and he too fell asleep almost instantly. After all, it had been a very tiring evening. No way was he gong to have children…


AN: Finis. Hope you liked it. Please click the blue button…