The English Faker
Disclaimer: Again, I don't own ANY of the Beast Wars characters. Just myself…..and the chaos I create. MWAHAHAH-slapped
Well, it seems that when we left off, our little psycho was captured by Depth Charge. cue dramatic evil dun dun dun music and was taken to the control room to be trialed by all the Maximals.
Though she looked scared, she was quite enjoying the experience of being carried in the air. It's every fan girls dream. Once everyone was there, they were beyond confused on how such a small girl could create SO MUCH trouble in SO LITTLE time! She obviously seemed much more evolved than the other humans they'd seen recently.
"So what to you have to say for yourself?" Optimus asked sternly.
Kristina's mind raced while she thought of how she could get off easy. She yet again came up with a genius idea.
"No habla en ingles?" She said with a shrug.
They all stared at her and blinked, having no idea what she just said. She gave an innocent look, concealing an evil grin. Her plan to confuse them even more had worked!
"Ummmm……….what?" Cheetor said, breaking the confused silence.
"I have no idea." Replied Rattrap.
"Does anyone know what she just said?" asked Optimus.
They all gave him an is-that-a-serious-question look. Kristina simply hung there, trying her hardest not to break her innocent look.
"What I wanna know is how in Primus she stopped showin' up on da scanners." Piped up Rattrap.
They all nodded in agreement. How DID she stop showing up on the scanners? She had to of had some sort of Scanner Blocker, but could see none on her. They all stared at her trying to get their minds to figure out how she did it all. All of a sudden they hear a strange growl come from her. It was her stomach. She looked at her stomach then at them, obviously embarrassed by her tummy's feed-me cries.
"Um, I'll go get her some food." Cheetor said, hurriedly running off to the doors.
They watched him go and then back to the dangling human, whom was staring at the ground.
"Alright everyone, go about your business until we figure out what language she's speaking." Optimus said. "And I'll watch her for now Depth Charge."
Depth Charge began to hand her over, but she reached back and clung to his hand with her own. The manta stared at her for a second, then began to try to shake her off. When a little shaking didn't work, he shook his hand harder. She still clung.
"Looks like she likes you Depth Charge," Black Arachnia said with a smirk.
He glared at the spider but went back to getting the human off of his hand. He grabbed her legs with his other hand and began to pull. Immediately, she let go of that hand and clung to the leg holding hand. She suppressed a smile when he growled about the situation. Optimus couldn't help letting a smile creep up on his face. For a human, she sure had some strength in those small hands.
"Well, I guess she wants to stay with you Depth Charge," Optimus said.
"No way that's gonna happen." He replied, still trying to get her off.
He began to go from annoyed to slightly panicked. She still wasn't coming off!
"I'M BACK!" shouted Cheetor coming down the hallway to the control room.
Immediately, Kristina released Depth Charge, nearly falling down but was caught by Optimus.
"Thank Primus." Said a relieved Depth Charge.
With the human busy eating, Cheetor was left to watch her as everyone went about their business. Kristina ate happily in the control room with him watching her. She didn't mind being watched, she was just thankful to at least get some yummy fruit. Cheetor watched her closely, seeing that she ate differently from the other humans here, she even looked different. She was fully clothed, didn't have hair all over her body, just the top of her head, and ate neater than the other ones. She wasn't sloppy, although no one can ever get away clean after eating juicy fruit, but it was easy to clean off. He thought he'd give it a shot on getting her name.
"My..name..is..Cheetor..what...is…your…name?" he asked enunciating each word.
She looked around the control room and saw that they were alone.
"My name is Kristina, but you can call me Kris." She stated in perfect English.
He looked at her with his mouth hanging open.
"I thought you didn't speak English!" he said.
"I do," she leaned closer to him "just don't tell anyone" she said in a whisper.
"Why? Is it bad that you speak English?" the catbot asked.
"Well, no, but it feels sorta awkward for someone to punish another who speaks a different language." She replied with smile.
"That's probably why Optimus didn't do it earlier." He said. "Wow that was pretty smart!"
"Why thank you. But seriously, you can't tell anyone, and I mean ANYONE, that I speak English just fine! Promise?" she asked expectantly.
"Well, I don't know, Big Bot would want to know about thi-"
"PLEEEEEEEEEASE?" she said, giving him a puppy dog face.
He just couldn't take the look.
"Alright! Alright! I promise! Now stop giving me that look, your making me feel guilty!" he exclaimed.
With a squee of glee, she hugged him. She finished up eating and went on her merry way with Cheetor right behind her. She skipped down the hallways as happy as could be, fantasy was MUCH more fun than reality! She decided she wanted to make a little more "fun" happen.
"OH MY GOD A GIANT COCKROACH!" She yelled and pointed behind Cheetor.
Cheetor spun around to see where it was but saw nothing. He turned back around just to find that she was gone, and he didn't even hear her footsteps running! He was embarrassed at how easily he was tricked and glad no one was around to have seen it.
"GET OFF!" yelled an angry voice.
Cheetor ran in the direction of the yelling only to fall laughing at what was going on. Kristina was clinging with both arms and legs to Depth Charges left leg. The manta glared angrily at Cheetor.
"It's NOT FUNNY! Now get her off before I BLAST her off!" he yelled.
"Ha ha, Kris, oh ha ha ha, get off of, hee hee, Depth Charge, ha, or Ill tell every, ha ha ha, one about the you-know-what…HAHAHAHHAHAAAAAA!!!" the catbot finally managed out.
At hearing this she reluctantly let go and ran to hide behind Cheetor.
"Wait, did you just call her 'Kris'?" Depth Charge asked suspiciously
Cheetor stopped laughing instantly and stood up straight.
"W-well she told me her name and, uh-"
"AND how did she know what you were saying and what's this you-know-what thing you threatened to tell about?" Inquired the big Maximal.
"Well, uh, you see, I'm really not entitled to tell yo-"
"WHY NOT?"
Cheetor looked at Kris and she gave him a pleading look not to tell. He looked back at Depth Charge and shuddered at the glaring look he was being given. He had no choice but to tell.
"Uh, well, she told me not to tell, but considering the circumstances, she CAN speak English, she was just faking earlier." Cheetor said, defeated.
Kris slapped her forehead and began to slowly try to get away.
"Oh no you don't!" Depth Charge said, picking her up by the collar of her shirt yet again.
She let out a small "eep" and was again face to face with him, but he wasn't just mad, he was PISSED.
"So you speak English huh? Well talk! Right now! What were you doing here in the first place!" He yelled at her.
She was about to answer but didn't. Instead, she began LAUGHING. To see a serious character like Depth Charge be this mad was simply priceless for her!
Depth Charge couldn't believe what he was seeing and hearing. She was LAUGHING at him, after he had just YELLED at her! He dropped her and Cheetor caught her. He simply just walked away in silent anger.
The two watched him leave then looked at each other.
"So what was THAT all about?" Cheetor asked.
And so began the telling of how Beast Wars was a cartoon and they were its characters in her world.
"…and so I began daydreaming about fighting with you guys and I fell asleep. Next thing I knew I was in that forest. So here I am, apparently in DEEP trouble for all the crap I've pulled lately." She finished with a meek smile.
He sat there next to her, letting all this new information sink in.
"So you pretty much just changed dimensions?" he asked.
"Guess so." She replied with a shrug, "Soooo, I guess Depth Charge will be telling Optimus about my language faking, huh."
"I guess so, but I gotta ask. Were you even speaking a language?" asked the curious bot.
"Yes, the language is called 'Spanish'."
TO BE CONTINUED!
