This is the first one of a series of oneshots inspired by situations including John and Ronon from Stargate Atlantis. At first I was thinking of doing a whole lot of separate ones, but I thought I might as well do one fic with several chapters.
This one is based on S04E15, "Outcast".

Ronon rarely saw John looking as confused as he looked right now. Actually, he couldn't remember any time at all during the more than two years he had known John that the man had been close to as lost and small as he seemed right now. He could barely recognize the man that he had grown to know, and love, during the past few years.

While standing in the background as John greeted what Ronon supposed were relatives, he just got more and more convinced that Earth was an extremely strange planet. He didn't interpret anything about the event as sorrowful or mournful. At Sateda, the mourning process was very vocal and everyone showed their feelings very openly; whether it was anger or sorrow. This, he thought as he eyed the black-clad people around him, was like some kind of charade, played out not for the sake of the deceased but for the sake of the living. He shrugged his shoulders. He truly did not understand it. The timid body language of the crowd made him very uncomfortable; he had never been good at something Rodney referred to as "not talking about the elephant in the room". He didn't quite get the earth saying, and he didn't know what an elephant was, but he thought this was a situation you would use it.

Ronon's eyes roamed the crowd, finding John almost immediately. John looked just as lost as he had before and Ronon didn't want anything more than to just hold him, but he got the feeling that this place would be even more none accepting of his and John's relationship than anyone at Atlantis or the IOA would ever be. He of course understood that the relationship they had developed would be a problem for the IOA since giving of orders and such could become complicated, but why the common people would have a problem with it, he did not understand at all. On Sateda, same sex relationships was just as accepted and as any other kind, so what he was feeling for his CO didn't faze him at all; it was natural. He had been surprised to find that it was considered a kind of taboo amongst many earth people, because the rest of the culture and civilization of the planet was very well developed.

Ronon followed John with his eyes as he continued his train of thought.

When John had introduced him to his brother, the anxiety vibes he felt coming off from his lover had hit the ceiling. Also, the way the man had looked at him made Ronon suspect that he knew something more, as if he had been able to see right through them both. The way the brother had looked at him, with pure distaste in his eyes… Ronon felt anger teeming inside of him, but he pushed it aside.
He hadn't been able to find a private spot for John and him to talk after the introduction, and when seeing John in the room where his father's remains was kept, he decided to leave the man alone. Ronon wasn't sure how to approach him about his grief, and sometimes their different home worlds added differences in the little things, in the details.

He saw John wander away from the crowd and he decided to join him. He brought the plates of free food with him and walked over to the other man.

"Lots of food over there."

A small smile played at John's lips.

"I'm good."

Ronon looked at his lover for a moment before deciding to keep the conversation going. John was looking fidgety and nervous, and Ronon had learned that it usually helped him to cope if you just kept him talking, distracting him.

"Is this the house you were raised in?" he asked and turned to look at the huge house which garden they were standing in.

"One of them," John answered without looking at it.

"That's nice," the Satedan said, meaning it. He wouldn't have minded growing up in a house like that. Compared to where he had grown up on Sateda, this house was a castle.

"Mmm. I couldn't wait to get out of here."

"Really? Why?" Ronon looked down at the plates of food he was carrying, pretending as if the question was a very casual one, even though they both knew it wasn't. John rarely spoke of his past and family.

"Well," the older man answered with a shrug. "My dad's idea of a teenage rebellion was going to Stanford instead of Harvard." John must've read the confusion on Ronon's face because he continued: "Nevermind. He just… he had everything planned out for me since I was about 14."

Ronon studied John as he spoke. There was something strange and calculated about the man's movements, and Ronon didn't like it one bit. It was behavior he had never seen John show before.

"So what do we do now?"

"Well… mostly people sit around, drink…" Looking at Ronon's plates, he smiled a little. "Eat. Some more than others. Mostly we talk. They don't know what to say, but they talk."

John's brief explanation didn't shed any more light on the strange even they were taking part in, so he decided not to think about it anymore and instead looked into the crowd again. He spotted John's brother. What was his name again… Dave?

"Your brother seems to be handling it well."

"Yeah, that's what he does, he handles things," John said with a forced smile.

"How come you haven't mentioned him before?" Ronon knew he was treading into territory they never really discussed.

"It's complicated."

Ronon looked at his lover and decided not to push it any further, at least not now. He picked up some kind of berry and put it into his mouth, taking a moment or two deciding if he liked the taste or not. He decided he did and offered it to John, who declined it with a raised hand. Ronon put his hand on John's shoulder and squeezed it gently, channeling as much support as he could through the touch. John turned and smiled a little, leaning into the touch. The smile didn't last long though, disappearing completely as he spotted someone in the crowd. Ronon followed his gaze.

"I told you I had an ex-wife, right?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Here she comes."

Ronon looked at the woman John turned around to greet.

"Hi, John."
Ronon could see John deflate.

"Nancy. I didn't expect to see you here."

The woman moved in for a hug and Ronon didn't really quite know what to do with himself, so he just stood still, silent. After the kind-of-hug, John just stood there, not saying anything for a while before he collected himself.

"Ehh… Nancy, Ronon, Ronon… Nancy."

His lover's ex-wife held out her hand and he shook it, smiling politely, not saying a word. Once again he felt the anxiety and stress levels coming off from John, if possible more now than before. He wished he could do something, but he had to settle with just being there as silent support. Averting his eyes he tried not to listen in on the conversation, feeling as if he was eavesdropping on something very private. He walked away from the pair and stood by the fence, not wanting to intrude more than necessary.

"It's nice to meet you," he heard the woman, Nancy, say, and he realized that she was talking to him.

"Oh! Nice to meet you."

He watched Nancy walk away and when she had disappeared into the crowd, he turned to John. The Colonel was standing there looking defeated, arms hanging slack down his sides, eyes staring into nothingness. Ronon took a gentle hold of his arm.

"Let's go."

John gave a distant nod and Ronon wasn't sure the other man had heard him, but when he walked towards the big house, John followed him. Inside, Ronon couldn't help to notice how everything was very white. Ceiling, walls, furniture… He couldn't help but to frown a little. Not a very practical house to raise a child in. The house was almost completely empty save for a couple of elderly people who gave John sad, pained looks as they walked by. John didn't seem to notice and Ronon only nodded politely at them, trying to find a private place. He spotted a bathroom door and headed for it, pulling John with him. When they were inside, he locked the door.

"Aaargh…" John gave a frustrated sound and sunk down on the toilet, burying his face in his hands. Ronon crouched down in front of the other man, putting a comforting hand on the man's knee.

"Hey…" he spoke softly.

"This family is killing me…" John murmured, rubbing his hands over his face in a tired gesture. Ronon squeezed John's knee reassuringly, keeping silent. His CO and lover looked incredibly tired and several years older than he really was.

"Hey," Ronon said again, getting John's attention. The seated man removed his hands from his face and looked at Ronon, smiling tiredly. Ronon leaned forward and nudged their foreheads together, placing his hands on John's thighs and starting to stroke them slowly back and forth. He felt John relax and give a deep sigh. They sat like that for a long time and Ronon felt life, energy and the John Sheppard he knew slowly seep back into the other man. Finally, John leaned backwards, raking his hand through his hair. He smiled crookedly at Ronon and he smiled back, seeing how John was more like himself again.

"You know, getting away from these people is a big reason that I chose the military," John explained matter-of-factly. Ronon nodded. John's stare disappeared into nothing again for a moment before he shook his head. He leaned back against the toilet, placing one hand on top of one of Ronon's. Ronon stood up, pulling John with him.

"Come here," he said. John looked reluctant, but Ronon wouldn't take no for an answer. He pulled John into an embrace and put his arms around the shorter man's neck, pressing a soft kiss against his forehead. John melted completely into the taller man and put his arms around Ronon's broad middle.

"I'm not sure what I would do if I'd been here alone," he mumbled, almost to himself.
Ronon just held John for a long time until he felt all the tension in the shorter man's shoulders disappearing.

"C'mon, let's get the hell out of here," he said after kissing John's forehead once again. The Colonel nodded and they let go of each other. Ronon moved to the bathroom door and with the hand on the door handle, he turned around to look back at John. He smiled, and got a small smile back.

Thank you very much for reading, I hope you liked it! Review, favourite, alert, all those kind of things.