A/N: Welcome each and everyone … aw, shit, I am not, not, NOT going to do Meg's cutesy little 'Ooh-La-La Girl' schtick. It makes me sick, and it's annoyingly catchy like Heaven by the Sea. And what is up with that? Do they honestly think all Americans have npthing better to do than run around with ADHD talking about celebrities, flesh, and food? Hello, we're the home of Thomas Edison! Emily Dickinson! Mark Twain! Eli Whitney! John F. Kennedy! Eleanor Roosevelt! Abraham Lincoln! DO I NEED TO KEEP RANTING? Yes, I realize not all of those people were alive back then, but still! Why the fuck did ALW waste his time being PC with the freaks but let these abominations of excuses for Americans run free on the stage? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE! Okay, I'm done. I realize people might hate me for making this an C/R fic, but you don't know everything. I, too, despise Raoul (See 101 Ways To Make Raoul Cry Like The Pansy He Is), but I was plagued by AI4WS (Annoying Ideas for Writers Syndrome). My apologies. On to chapter 2.
ERIK
'She chose Raoul, chose his beauty and youth. It's long past time you faced up to that truth.' Antoinette's word echo in my head. I am such a fool. She was right all along. My Christine, my angel, my beloved, wants nothing to do with me, and the same goes for my son. They may loathe me, but I still want them. My face is still burning from the blow Christine dealt me, and my rage increases the pain as I watch the Atlantic Queen sail away … as I watch for a second time while Raoul leaves with everything that should be mine. And, once again, I am left with a tiny silver trinket from her and a shattered dream.
"E-Erik?" Meg whispers. I turn to see her stepping out from the aerie to join me on the balcony.
"I'm not going to hit you. Honestly, if there's anyone to hit, it's me, as Christine made quite clear."
"That's just it. What will you do?"
"A bet is a bet, Meg. I paid him in full and I plan to send monthly increments of my former salary."
"Twenty thousand francs?" She smiles slightly and looks out at the sea that she loves so much. "And … the boy? Is he really going to get everything?"
"No. In light of … recent events, I think it best to leave him only thirty percent of Phantasma's profits. The other seventy is to be split between you and your mother. However, since you've made it quite clear you don't wish to return to France, I'm leaving him all my properties there. No matter what your mother may say, I am not blind, and I do repay my debts," I pause to laugh dryly. "And the debts of others." She joins in with me nervously. "Something else is bothering you. I've apologized for the way I've been acting, haven't I?"
"No, it's about her. I just don't understand how she could …"
"Could what? Deny my son? Deprive me of my right?"
"Break her promise." Meg corrects.
"She seems to have a habit of making me promises, then breaking it and running off with her precious vicomte. And she left me with a pretty little bauble again." I open my palm, revealing Christine's precious silver crucifix.
"Oh!" Meg gasps. We both know how Christine loved it. "She gave it to you?"
"Not directly." I take out a lilac-scented piece of paper. "Read it."
"'Erik, I know what I've done. I'm sorry, but I just couldn't think clearly with you here. I need to do what is best for all of us, especially Gustave. What is best for our son was clear. He is yours, no one can deny it, but I want him to have an ordinary childhood. I want him to grow up without having to bear the burdens of mistakes I made. Yes, it was my fault. I should have gone after you that night. But, I didn't and we've both had to pay the price for ten years. We shouldn't have to any longer. No one , I will tell him and Raoul the truth, when the time is right. Please, believe me, mon ange.
"'There is one last thing. I know you have no faith in God, but I've chosen to leave behind Papa's crucifix as a gift and a test. If it is still with you when you have been buried, I have failed you. I will not. Christine." I laugh again at the last part. "You don't believe her?"
"What reason do I have to?"
CHRISTINE
It's late, and I know Raoul is most likely sleeping, but I need to tell him the truth. I love him, but I'm tired of breaking promises because of him. "Raoul? Are you awake?"
"You can't sleep either, Christine?" He rolls over to face me. I sit up and turn on the gas light on my side of the bed.
"No, Raoul. I need to tell you quite a few things. This is the second time that I've broken a promise ... and Erik's heart because of your love."
"Are you saying you aren't satisfied with your choice?" He sounds hurt, and I immediately regret the way I've worded my speech.
"No! Raoul, please, don't say that. I love you-"
"From what I've heard, you've said similar things to Erik!" He starts to raise his voice. I place a finger to my lips and gesture towards the door.
"Gustave." I remind him. "Raoul, I want this to stop. For the both of us. I know what I've done. I've nearly led you to your death, I've betrayed you, I've lied to you for ten years, but I won't anymore. From tonight on, I won't keep any secrets from you."
"So you admit it."
"Yes. I didn't mean for it to happen. I went to find Erik , so that I could ask for his forgiveness and say goodbye."
"Fine way to get forgiveness."
"Raoul, I didn't mean to. I didn't mean to do anything other than speak to him. It just happened."
"As long as it was voluntary." Raoul mutters. "If he'd raped you, I'd have killed him the moment I saw him."
"Raoul, just let me finish! I didn't mean to, but Gustave is Erik's son."
"I know."
"You do? How? Who told you?"
"He did. This morning. I'll explain once you've finished your side of the story."
"Well, there isn't much else, Raoul. I've kept the secret, because I was afraid of what you'd do to Gustave if you'd known. Just tell me now if you're going to be cruel to him because of Erik."
Raoul smiles wryly. "Why should I make him pay for the sins which are Erik's?"
"Not amusing, Raoul. Now you tell me."
"This morning, I was in the bar on the pier at Coney Island-"
"Getting drunk?"
"Let me finish!"
"You didn't let me finish. Now we're equal."
"Fine. So, yes, I was drinking and Meg came in."
"What was Meg doing in a bar?"
"She goes to the pier every morning for a swim. Why? I don't know. She claims that she does it to wash away the world's faults. She told me it'd be best if we left. I was cocky. I claimed I could beat Erik, then I turned around, and he was standing there. I was terrified." I know how much that cost him to say. He's been trying to make himself seem fearless for ten years. I don't think he's aware that I know about the loaded pistol he's kept beneath our bed for the past ten years. "In any case, I started bluffing, threatening to kill him. He just laughed and offered to make a bet with me. And you know me, ma cherie." Of course I did. If Raoul could salvage his ego by making a bet, he'd do it, which was exactly what has landed us in debt to begin with.
"How bad was it?"
"Very bad."
"Raoul, you weren't playing poker, were you?" Poker is his Achilles' heel. He simply can't use the poker face effectively.
"It wasn't a card game, Christine. It was a bet on the outcome of tonight's concert. If you'd sung tonight, I'd have lost, and you and Gustave would still be on the island with Erik. Erik promised to repay the debts I've caused us, if you left tonight without singing."
"You won?"
"I won. You love me far more than I deserve. I was certain you were going to sing ... that I was going to lose you, and our son." He sees my face. "I know Gustave is not the son of my body, but he is the son of my heart. I'm quite lucky to have him at all. In any case, I'm shocked that you even came back after seeing Erik."
"That night, I was mainly concerned about our reputations. If I'd run away, you'd have sent the police out to look for me. It would not have looked good if it was discovered I was expecting, and I couldn't support a child on my own." He's silent. I'm so used to our nights being filled with his ranting that the silence is unnerving rather than calming. His behavior is unnerving as well. He seems to have transitioned so smoothly back into my Raoul. The one I fell in love with ten years ago. I might have thought he was acting, but he can't act. "Raoul? Are you still awake?"
"I'm awake, Little Lotte." He says stiffly.
"I hurt you, didn't I? Raoul, I didn't mean to-"
"It doesn't matter. Just tell me the truth. Was I really only a means of funds to you?"
"Of course not. I was heartbroken, I had hopes you could make me forget it all. I wanted, God, help me, I wanted to lie to you, to all of us. Myself, most of all. I wanted to believe it wasn't true about Gustave. Please, believe me."
"Kiss me." He orders coolly.
"What?"
"Kiss me the same way you did when we first did. Perhaps then, I'll believe you." I can't help but smile as I obey his command.
"I want to tell him." I whisper as we pull away.
"Gustave?"
"Who else would I tell? Erik obviously already knows."
"Christine, are you sure that's a good idea? It will shatter his world."
"He shouldn't have to live a lie anymore than we should, Raoul."
"He's a child, Lotte. He's not ready."
"When will he be ready?"
"When I'm dead and he can't hate me for lying."
"Raoul, he could be married with his own son by then. I could be dead by then."
"Shhhh!" He places a finger to his lips. I hadn't realized I'd raised my voice. "You'll wake him. We'll talk about this tomorrow, Christine."
"But, Raoul-"
"Tomorrow."
GUSTAVE
They won't. I don't want to talk to Raoul or my mother... if she is my mother. Secrets and lies. Is that all the world is? Is everything beautiful really illusions, artifice, and lies? I plunge into a sleep filled with doubt and worry.
A/N: Ooopsies! They woke up Gustave. :-(. Well, he's obviously not happy. At least Christine and Raoul cleared the air and made up. Although, I can't say I'm too happy with myself for sending Raoul back into his sweet foppish self. I may just kill myself once I finish Love Without Sight unless I receive reviews telling me you like the story. So, R&R! Cailie out!
