I don't really like this but I think this is as good as it's going to get...I'm sorry! Thank you for all the reveiws!

EclareTheLovers- I really liked your idea but at that time I already had this part almost done! So, I'm sorry.:)

Friday(3:07pm)

Thump.

Thump.

Thump.

Clare was actually surprised at the sound of her heart. For some reason, she had thought that when the boy left he literaly took her heart with him. It sure felt like he did.

Sometimes people go insane when their heart is broken...

Eli hadn't showed up for school on Thursday or Friday, which irritated Clare. Shouldn't she be the one running from him? Shouldn't she be the one who ignored the calls and texts? Clare knew that he had a hard time of letting Julia go and she was alright with that, but she had reached her limit.

You can only be hurt so many times before you crack.


Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Eli stood in front of his mirror, looking at his ghostly reflection. He lifted his shirt up a little bit to see his stomach. His ribs were poking out dangerously, almost as if they were weapons. When Eli was under stress he didn't eat, which made him look like absolute shit.

It was a lose, lose situation.

She was beautiful and charming. She was amazing, so why did she keep on coming back to an asshole like him? He hurt her and she just charged right through it like a bull. Somehow, through it all, Clare's eyes still shined and glowed, like nothing had ever happened. She really did deserve the nickname "Saint Clare." She deserved to be with a saint. Clare deserved to have a guy who will give her everything. Which, Eli could not do. He could barely take care of himself, so how was he supposed to give her anything?

Eli sighed and rubbed his eyes with his hand. Without looking at his reflection(He hated mirrors. They told the truth.) He went down his stairs and paused to look outside at the snow. As the fluffy snow fell, the children in his neighborhood played in it. Eli focused in on a little boy who was playing with his mom. The little boy kept on jumping in the big pile of white snow. Eli felt a slight ache as he watched the boy, for he knew that someday the little boy would grow up. Someday, the little boy would see the world for what it actually was. He wouldn't have his mom to protect him or the white fluffy snow to break his fall, all he would have was his knowledge of the world. And if he was lucky, he would have someone to help him up. Hopefully, the boy would be smart, unlike Eli, and he wouldn't push that someone away.

For the first time in Eli's life, he was actually jealous of Julia.

Death was a comforting thought.

So he took one more pill to block everything out.


Clare had no idea as to how she got to the park. She didn't remember walking out of her house. She didn't remember walking the four mile walk to the park...

Maybe she was going insane...

Big globs of white snow started to come down from the sky. Clare smiled, she loved snow. Slowly, one by one, little kids and their parents came out of their homes. They were all wrapped up in winter jackets and snow pants. Clare giggled as the little kids waddled into the snow. There was something innocent about little kids playing with snow, something pure about it.

She watched as the little kids interacted with their families. Salty tears started to come out of her eyes. She was once like these children, she once had hope in the world. She once believed everything that her parents said. The families looked happy. Why couldn't her family be happy? Why couldn't she be happy? She remembered the feeling of playing in the snow with Darcy and then going inside house to drink hot chocolate. Darcy would crack jokes and both of her parents would laugh. They would all have a little snowball fights together, which always resulted with them in a big pile of limbs, laughing.

Things were simpler then, but there comes a time when you realize that your family isn't what you once thought it was. You tend to put the people you love on a pedestal, which results with you feeling jaded. Clare often wondered how everything went down so quickly. Wasn't it last year when they all watched a movie together? Wasn't it last year when they would have family dinners?

Wasn't it just last year that they were happy?

Clare brushed the tears away. It felt odd to cry in front of people, even thought no one was paying attention to her. She didn't like crying, she thought that it made her weak.

Showing your emotion doesn't make you weak, it makes you stronger.

"Are you alright?"

Clare jumped slightly at the voice. She looked over and there was a little old lady who was sharing the bench that Clare was sitting on. Clare hadn't even noticed her. The older woman put her delicate hand on Clare's cheek, as if to say "Everything is going to be alright."

Are you alright?

Are you alright?

"No." She then took off running, with the elder woman worrying about her mental stability.

An epiphany. It can come anytime about any situation. And today, Clare Edwards had one.


After running away from the park she started running to his house. Clare was scared. She realized why she hadn't cried in front of him. She was scared that she would be too much for him. Clare was fightened that Eli would tell her to go away and to never come back if she cried.

"Stop your cryng, Clare. No one's going to love you if you cry." Helen Edwards said as she walked in with another man.

But Clare realized that if someone doesn't love you because you have baggage, then they don't deserve you. If someone won't stick with you through the darkness then they aren't worth it. Clare deserved 'I love you's' and kisses and hugs. She needed stability.

Knock.

Knock.

Knock.

Each knock on his door made her heart pound with anxiety. Maybe she shouldn't do this. Maybe she should go home and wait for him to come to her. Maybe-

Eli opened the door, looking slightly disgruntled. He then saw who the intruder was. He was obviously displeased, which cause a stab of pain to pierce Clare in the gut.

He rolled his eyes at the girl in front of him. "Look Clare, I'm not in the mood to talk. I would like it if you went home."

She pushed him aside and walked in, and turned to him. "To tell you the truth, Eli, I don't give a shit on what you want me to do. I need to speak to you."

His green eyes widened at her bluntness and her stubborn attitude. She really was a spitfire. I lovely, passionate spitfire...

She walked into his house and made her way through the living room. Clare sat on the couch and hinted with her eyes that he should do the same. Eli awkwardly sat down.

"Why weren't you in school?" Clare asked quietly, biting her lip.

Eli sneered meanly. "What are you? My keeper?"

Clare's blue eyes blazed at his tone, her pink lips turned into a a deep scowl. "You have absolutely no right to talk to me like that, do you understand? I deserve respect, the respect I give you."

Eli cringed at the anger in her voice...maybe he had gone too far...?

"Did it ever occur to you that maybe I care about you? I'm asking because I care about you, is that such a problem?," Clare waited to see if he said anything. He didn't. ",I didn't think so, but to be angry with you wasn't the reason why I came."

Eli's eyebrow raised. "What is the reason?"

Clare sighed and blushed. "I just wanted to see if you were alright..."

Eli's face softened. Just when he thought that she couldn't get more wonderful...

His face then hardened. He didn't deserve her. She would end up like Julia, dead.

"You should go." Eli said quietly, getting up.

Clare's eyes flashed with anger. "What is your problem? Do you enjoy hurting me? Do enjoy the fact that everything you say brings me tears? Is this just a big joke to you?"

Eli shook his head. "No! You know how the saying goes, 'You hurt the ones you love'"

Clare's head shook back and forth, making her curls sway. "No, you don't just hurt the ones you love, you destroy them."

Eli's eyebrows pulled together as he sank into deep thought. His teeth bit his slightly chapped bottom lip.

"I'm sorry," Eli spoke quietly, trying to stop his voice from shaking. ",You feel like home to me. I put all my weight on you and you just carry it. I don't deserve it at all but I just feel so comfortable with you. You seem to always accept me no matter what I do, and I don't understand that. I-"

Clare opened up her mouth to speak but Eli held up his hand to silence her.

"But you don't understand what it's like to watch everything in your life fall apart." At this, Eli looked up at her.

He was very surprised to see her angry expression.

"I don't understand? How would you know? You haven't asked me about my life in months!," Clare's voice started rising, all her anger that she had been feeling in the past six months was coming out. "Did you know that my parents got divorced? Did you know that my dad moved to the states and I haven't spoken to him since? Did you know that my mom doesn't come home for weeks and when she does, she's drunk off her ass and has a sleazy guy following right behind her? No, you don't know. You don't know anything. Open up you eyes, Elijah! You're not the only one suffering!" Clare's voice cracked at the end.

"You're not the only one suffering"

Maybe she did understand...

Maybe those blue eyes were holding more pain than he had thought...

They started to talk. This time, Clare talked about what was happening in her life. She liked the feeling of opening up to someone and trusting them. She now knew why Eli had given all his pain to her, it was easy. It was easy to give someone all your weight, especially if you could then run away. Clare liked how Eli looked at her while she spoke. It was almost as if it was just them in the world, alone. It was like there were no parents or dead ex-girlfriends to think about, it was just them. Eli laughed at all the right moments and added snarky comments that made Clare's mouth twitch. Suggestive comments came out of his mouth, making Clare blush madly.

This felt right.


They were about to get up and go out to get coffee when Clare noticed something in the back of Eli's back pocket. A corner of a bag poked out and it made Clare suspicous. She swiftly reached and grabbed the bag. She held the bag in her had, shock apparent on her face. Eli's face was wary as his girlfriend held his shameful addiction. Clare bit her lip and kept her head down, Eli just wanted to see the expression in her eyes.

Her head snapped up after a couple of moments and her blue eyes narrowed dangerously.

"What is this?" She spit out, as she held the bag of his crushed up substance in the air.

"It's-uh-it's..."

"What is wrong with you?" Her scream echoed throughout the big house. She had never screamed like that in her life. Anger pulsed in her veins and made her head spin.

"This kills people!," Her face dropped at the realization and her voice cracked. ", Is that the point? To kill yourself? Do you not want to exist anymore?" She was close to tears as she looked at him. His mop of black hair covered his face.

"Do you...do you know what that would do to people if you died? Bullfrog? CeCe? Adam? Me? You can't die. You're the only things that makes me want to live. " Her body trembled and she spoke as if she was out of breath.

Eli still didn't speak.

"We love you. We care about you. We want the best for you. And this-," Her finger pointed at the bag. ",and this is complete shit. This is an escape now, but you can't escape forever. You can't run from youself forever. I've tried. Everyone has tried. Ask anyone and they'll agree with me. You can't hide from your past, Eli. It will catch up with you and completely knock you over."

Eli picked up his head. Tears were streaming down his face as he bit his lip. Clare's fragile heart broken in two.

In a split second, their bodies were intertwined in a hug. Sobs coursed through both of their beings, as their broken hearts and minds continued to throb. Their grip on each other increased with every breath they took, they both believed that if they blinked their significant other would be gone. With just one touch, they were able to feel each other's emotions. With just one feel, they were able to slowly heal each other. Slowly, but surely.

Clare had then realized that she was crying. In front of him.

And it felt good.

"I hate myself." He croaked,as her hands rubbed his stiff back.

Clare sighed softly and untwisted herself from his grip. She grabbed his chin so they could see eye-to-eye.

"I know you do, but I love you. I think you're wonderful and beautiful and lovely. As corny and cliche as it sounds, you mean the world to me. If you saw yourself in the light that I see you in, you'd be blinded by your beauty,"She paused for a moment, thinking.",Though, I guess it's good that you don't see yourself that way. You'd fall in love with yourself, and who likes a conceited person anyway?" Clare giggled quietly and she felt a rumble of laughter came from the boy in front of her.

"But...please don't give up. You...you're the sea that I float on. Without you, I'd drown. Without you-"

Eli shook his head roughly. "No, no, no. You'd be better without me. You'd be healthier and happier, and you'd be you. I bring you down. I'm not the sea. I'm the seaweed that pulls you down into the abyss. I don't deserve you at all. "

Clare smiled sadly. "I'm not going to lie, my life would definetly be less hectic without you in it, but would I be happier? No. I didn't what the true definition of happiness was before I met you. My whole life I've felt numb and indifferent, but with you I feel alive. For once in my life I feel like I belong," Clare tucked a piece of his hair behind his ear. ", Life is the seaweed. And you are the sea that helps me float."

Eli looked at her, almost as if this was the first time that he looked at her. Her cheeks were rosy and her nose was small. Her dark lashes made her blue eyes shine even more. He felt her small hands mold their way into his body. He felt her love shoot from her smile. Clare's dimples popped even more than usual as she looked at him. Being with her made him feel human, made him feel like he was complete.

Now, it was his turn to have an epiphany.

"You're my wonderwall."

Wonderwall: The word that CeCe told to use when he had finally found the one.

"A wonderwall holds you up. It tells you when you have to get your act together. The person or animal-...What? Some people are into beastiality-will be the only one you see. They are the one." CeCe said as she gazed lovingly at Bullfrog.

He had never used that word before. And nothing had ever felt more right.

Eli buried his head into her shoulder, not wanting to ever move or let go.

With Clare Edwards, the girl that he absolutely adored and loved, by his side, he could do anything. He could survive the world ending. He could survive anything that was thrown at him, just as long as the curly haired beauty by his side.

They could conquer the world together.

And they will, just give them time.