4

After finding the ability to move I quickly stood and felt relief to see I had on boxers. I was planning a quick get-a-way if my words didn't convince her of my lie. I tried to remain calm amid her pink frilly room and only shrugged.

"Edward is my brother, was I talking about him?" I asked and stared at her neck because I couldn't look into her eyes.

She laughed and nodded, "Yeah, you asked me to call you Edward."

"Oh, God, I guess I was trying to act straight, it is a habit after all these years," I said and wondered if I was coming on to her when I asked her to use my real name. I finally found the nerve to ask her outright what happened. "Bella, what exactly happened last night?"

"You can't remember?" she asked with wide eyes, "The wild sex, and the group orgy?"

"Yeah, that I remember, but how did I end up in your bed?" I teased and she laughed at my attempt to appear knowledgeable.

She patted her hand on the mattress and I moved back to the bed to sit. She didn't act mad but her face told me she needed to get something off her chest and she was ready to confide in me. I wasn't sure I wanted to be just her buddy and confidant, but if it was the best I could do right now, I would listen.

"Tony, I'm having trouble in a relationship too, I needed someone to hold me and I took advantage of you last night," she said with sad eyes.

"We had sex?" I asked and prayed to God she said yes and then no.

"No," she said as if she regretted the answer. "I thought Jasper broke up with you and I was feeling down so I brought you in here and we just held each other. I'm sorry."

I tried to remember even a moment of it and she mistook my silence as concern. "I won't do it again, Tony." She got up and went into her bathroom to start her shower. I walked to my room feeling like I was having an out of body experience. I spent the night with a woman and nothing happened. I promised myself I wouldn't drink so much ever again.

I took my own shower and got dressed. I had two days until the fall term began and I wasn't sure what to do with myself. I was a senior in college and still supported totally by my parents. I finally picked up my guitar and began playing. When I smelled fresh coffee I went into the kitchen.

"I like hearing you play," Bella said sweetly. I was sad to see she was fully dressed.

"Thanks, I like the smell of your coffee," I replied and she poured me a cup. "Are you excited for this semester?"

"I guess," she said and I got the impression school was not something she wanted to discuss. "Do you write your own music or do you just play?"

"Both, do you want to hear a song?" I asked and saw her face her light up. I ran to my room and grabbed my guitar. I played random cords and finally began playing, 'When You Say Nothing at All.' I sang slowly with a falsetto voice with my eyes closed.

"It's amazing how you can speak right to my heart,
Without saying a word you can light up the dark.
Try as I may I could never explain,
What I hear when you don't say a thing."

I opened my eyes to see her staring at me so I continued on.

"The smile on your face lets me know that you need me,
There's a truth in your eyes sayin' you'll never leave me.
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me if ever I fall,
You say it best when you say nothing at all."

Her eyes filled with tears and she looked away from my stare so I stopped playing. "You should sing that to Jasper," she said and wiped her eyes with her hands. "You really convey the emotion you feel with that song."

"Hey," I called out to her softly and she turned to look at me. "I'm here if you want to talk about it."

"Aren't we both pitiful?" she laughed and I held my hand out for hers so she reluctantly took it and sat next to me. I put my guitar down and scooted back to be even with her. She looked terrified and I knew there was a lot more going on with her guy than the fact he didn't like the way she gave oral sex.

"Talk to me," I said softly and reached over to push her hair out of her eyes.

"Do you know what 'it' is?" she asked and then shook her head like it wasn't what she meant to ask. "I mean, I'm searching for 'it' and who the hell knows what 'it' is."

"I think that is what every human asks. We spend our lives searching for it and not sure what it is exactly we are looking for," I said, trying to sound like I had a clue. Life was still a fucking mystery to me, but I knew what Bella meant.

She scooted onto her knees and leaned closer as she spoke softly. "But Tony, what if there isn't 'it' and we waste our lives because we have something pretty good but we are looking for something better?"

"Pretty good, isn't good enough," I said forcefully. "I'm not settling for pretty good."

"It wouldn't hurt so badly to lose 'pretty good,'" she said and I shook my head.

"It would hurt too badly to miss out on 'wonderful,'" I said and looked right into her eyes. "There is something wonderful out there for you Bella, don't miss out on it."

"Do you practice what you preach?" she asked with a hint of anger. "Is Jasper your wonderful?"

"Hell no," I said and felt a bit sick that I was lying to her. I wanted to confess I wasn't gay and tell her we both needed to stop the charade of the relationships we were in. "And without meeting your guy, I know he isn't your wonderful either."

"How do you know?" she asked and raised her chin a bit.

"You don't have a treasure like you and complain about how she gives head," I said angrily. "You feel grateful she gives you a moment of her time and thank God she'll even kiss you."

I could tell my words stunned her and she stared at me with surprise. We didn't break our eyes away, but continued to stare deeply at each other. It was a moment filled with emotion and the tension was weighing heavy in the room. I knew with certainty if I leaned in to kiss her she would have kissed me back, but the doorbell rang.

She left the couch to answer the door and I cussed the jackass under my breath. She stood back to reveal Jasper looking at me with his own glassy eyes. "Want a ride to get your car?" he asked and it was the first I realized I hadn't driven myself home last night.

"Yeah, let me get my shoes," I said and ran to my room. I turned to come back for my guitar when I heard Bella talking to Jasper.

"You should treat him better, he's a nice guy," she said with a strained voice.

"I treat him the way he deserves," Jasper said and I could tell he was pissed at having the conversation.

"If you're patient with him, he'll come around," she said, "He wants to be able to please you, it is just so new to him."

"Don't worry about me, I'm getting pleased by someone who knows exactly how to please me," Jasper replied and I ran for my shoes before he ended up ruining everything. When I came back into the room Bella was in the kitchen and Jasper was standing with the door open.

We walked into the hallway and I motioned for him to be quiet until we got into the elevator. "Don't ruin this, Jasper. I really like this girl," I said.

"Don't fucking talk to me you pussy," he said angrily and we drove to the club in silence.

I should have been worried about ruining my friendship with him, but my concern was for Bella and the ass that was making her feel like she should settle for him. I really hoped I never had to see him face to face, because I wasn't sure I would be able to remain calm. I got out of Jasper's car without saying a word to him and his tires squealed as he drove away.

I laughed when I realized my first lover's quarrel was with my straight friend and our pretend relationship. I drove back to the Colony and walked into the apartment to find a note from Bella. She was in the washroom in the basement and said I could come down to see it since I most likely didn't have a load to wash yet.

I smiled and wondered if she wanted to see me or was just being a good roommate. I grabbed a juice from the fridge and went to the laundry room. She had her hair pulled up into a ponytail and I was drawn to her long neck. She looked over to see me staring and smiled.

"Want a drink?" I asked and held out the juice box to her.

"I think you need the hydration, not me," she laughed and I nodded and opened the bottle.

"Can you put that pile in the washer for me?" she asked and I walked over to pick up the small pile of clothing and saw it was her bras and panties. I tried not to stare when I dumped them into the machine but one particular pair caught my attention. They were made of nothing but lace and had the words, 'Wild Thing,' embroidered across the front.

I picked them up with my finger and held them out for her to see, "Bella, I'm shocked."

"Oh please," she laughed. "You should see my crotchless ones."

"You're wearing them right now, aren't you?" I teased and prayed she would say yes and show them to me.

"I'm actually wearing nothing, that is why it was crucial I do wash today," she laughed and I looked down automatically. She laughed louder and I quickly looked away, but all I could think about was her bare body under the sweats she was wearing.

I jumped onto one of the washers to sit and watched her add the detergent and start the machines. She finally came over to sit next to me on another machine. "So Tony, what do you say me and you hit the town tonight. Have you ever been to The Range?"

"No, is it a club?" I asked stupidly.

"Yeah, I think you'll like it, but you have to promise to stay sober, I'm too small to drag your ass home."

"I'll give my liver a rest tonight," I said and she smiled.

It was quiet and awkward for a moment so she finally turned to look at me and said, "Is everything okay with you and Jasper?"

"I don't know, I'm thinking he isn't worth all the trouble," I said to keep my options open for the night.

"Good," she said with a big smile. "I don't think he is either, but Tony, you need to get over your fear of intimacy with a man. If you find a guy who is patient and loving it will go a long way in helping you learn to give and take what you need physically."

Was she seriously giving me advice on how to fuck a man? I looked away from her eyes so she wouldn't see the idea was repulsive to me and only nodded so she continued on. "Just think about what you like and how it makes your body feel, it is giving the other person those feelings, too. Think of it as giving love and not just taking."

I turned to subject back to her and decided to watch her squirm a bit. "Okay, so is it love you are giving your guy, when he only criticizes you?"

Her head fell and she sat quietly. "See," I said, "It is the criticism I fear."

"Fine, then we will both be honest. What exactly have you done with a man?" she asked and I felt revulsion at my words. I was going to have to give her some answer to convince her I was gay without losing my juice all over the laundry room.

"I've been the…recipient…"

"Anal sex?" she asked.

"God no," I said too forcefully and she gave me a stunned expression.

"Oh, oral sex?" she asked and I nodded slightly.

"So your fear is the anal sex?" she asked and I only nodded again. "You know they have…devices to help you with that," she whispered and my juice was getting harder to keep down.

"Yeah, they have dildo's to keep you from choking, too," I said and she instantly turned red and looked away. "I'm sorry, Bella. This is humiliating for me, too."

"Maybe we should get some porn to watch and it would help us both know what to do," she suggested but there was no way in hell I was going to watch two dudes going at it.

"I liked your other suggestion better," I said softly and tried not to act too enthusiastic.

"What suggestion?"

"That we help each other. I can teach you how to give a great blow job and you can teach me about anal sex," I suggested.

I expected her to make all kinds of excuses and tell me to pack my stuff and get out, but she sat and thought contemplatively for a moment and then held out her hand to shake, "Deal."

We made plans to go to a club and then see what we felt like after a night out and a few drinks. I vowed to stay clear headed and just the thought of Bella's lips wrapped around me made the day drag by. But I had no intention of letting her use any device on me and the thought of that caused the day to speed by.

5

I walked into the living room to find Bella waiting for me. She was wearing a tight black dress with heels and her hair styled into messy curls around her face. She looked so hot I almost suggested we stay in. She gave my attire a once over and smiled. I wasn't concerned about what I had on, clothes and style was my thing, so I knew I got it right with the dark jeans and v neck tee with an open shirt.

We drove to the middle of the city and parked behind a small club. The music was loud and could be heard on the street. There was a line but we were both let in instantly. It took a moment for my eyes to adjust and Bella was pulling me to the dance floor before I noticed it was a gay club.

I pulled back on her arm and said, "I think we should leave."

"Why, you might meet someone interesting," she said and I shook my head. "What's wrong, Tony?"

"I'm still in a relationship," I lied, "I can't cheat on Jasper."

"He cheats on you," she said into my ear and gave me a sad look as if she told me something I didn't know.

"I allow him to date, he doesn't allow it from me," I said and hoped she bought it.

"Tell him to go to hell, if he isn't exclusive, you shouldn't be either," she said and pulled me to the dance floor again.

I grabbed her around the waist so nobody could get between us and make it look like I was dancing with a dude. I pulled her tightly to my body and danced as I stared only at her. She put her arms around my neck and spoke into my ear. "Come on, Tony, give another guy a chance."

"Not until I can offer him something," I said and couldn't finish the thought.

"I'm not saying go home with him, but just dance and meet new guys," she said and I felt a deepening fear. I wondered if there was anyone in the club who I had classes with or used to live by me. I could imagine the rumors and wished I had gone to more of an effort to look different.

As soon as the song ended some prick walked up to me and asked for a dance. Bella answered for me and pulled out of my arms. I wasn't about to touch the guy, so I stepped back and began to dance without much movement as I looked everywhere but at the dude in front of me. Soon I felt someone behind me and spun around to see another man dancing as he tried to rub against me.

The first guy moved closer so I was sandwiched between the two. The guy in front of me placed his hand on my neck and the guy behind me held my hips in his grasp. I wanted to die, so I just closed my eyes and tried to pretend I was still in my bed and having a nightmare.

I finally felt the dude behind me rub against my ass with his erection and I pushed everyone away from me. "I'm sorry, I'm in a relationship," I said and got the hell out of there. Bella followed me onto the sidewalk and I paced back and forth for a moment before turning to say, "I can't do this."

"I'm sorry, you are so loyal to Jasper," she said and I was glad she misunderstood. "You must love him very much."

At that moment a couple walked past who I had met at Emmett's place and said, "Hi, Edward."

"Hi, how are you?" I said and turned back to Bella.

"Why did you let them think you were Edward?" Bella asked.

"We look a lot alike and I don't want it getting back to Jasper I was here, so let them think I'm my brother," I said and she nodded, buying my cover story.

I wasn't about to go back into the club and turned to face her full on. "Bella, it can't be fun for you in there. Let's go to a straight club where nobody will hit on me and I'll make sure nobody hits on you," I suggested.

She pointed down the street and I took her hand and we walked to a small bar about half a mile away. It was quiet and people were sitting in booths and a few couples were swaying to soft music. It was exactly what I had in mind and we both sat and ordered a drink.

"This is nice," she said with a smile.

"I hate the loud music in clubs, this is more my style," I said. "Does your guy take you to places like this?"

She laughed and shook her head back and forth. "He usually has parties at his place so I get romanced right into the bedroom," she said sadly. "I don't think I have ever danced with him.

"Will you dance with me?" I asked with raised eyebrows and she glanced at the sparse dance floor before nodding and taking my hand.

I led her to the far side where the room was darkest and pulled her into my arms. At first she was a bit tense but as the music played on she relaxed and tightened her hold on me. I was practically wrapped around her, lost in the feeling of her body heating up against mine, without making it sexual. We only swayed in small, slow circles, letting the music resonate through us.

When the song ended she pulled back and said, "Thanks," without looking at me. I had no idea what that meant but followed her back to our booth. She took a long drink from her glass and then finally looked at me. "That was nice."

I laughed, "Is everything 'nice' tonight?"

"Yes," she said more adamantly. "I don't usually go out and get to dance so it's…nice."

"So who is the ass who never takes you out?" I asked her, wanting to hear why she wastes her time on such a jerk.

"I don't want to talk about him," she said with nervous eyes and I could tell she was feeling guilty.

A fast upbeat song began to play so I stood. "Since you have on clean underwear, let's take advantage of it and dance again." It was just what she wanted. She jumped from her seat and pulled me quickly to the dance floor to watch her move seductively all around me. I had to force myself to keep moving, so I didn't just stand there and gawk as I tried to imagine her using a stripper pole.

She was getting me hot and when she finally placed her hands on my chest and let them move slowly to my waist I actually moaned a little. She took hold of the top of my jeans and pulled me closer to her body as she dropped down and made her way slowly back up as she stared into my eyes. I was done. I would confess anything if she would only let me have her.

"You're getting me worked up," I said and she laughed and let her face fall against my neck so I could feel her breath against my skin.

I decided two could play this game so I ran my hands down the back of her body and settled on her ass before pulling her tightly against me. We were basically dry humping in the middle of a sparsely occupied bar and didn't give a damn.

The song ended and we pulled apart to stare at each other as we both heaved with shallow breaths. I grabbed her hand and dragged her from the bar onto the street. I pulled her into the small alleyway and pushed her against the wall of the building before descending on her mouth. She kissed me back with the same amount of force I was delivering and let her leg rise to wrap around me. I grabbed it with my hand and used the leverage to push my cock against her, causing us both to moan loudly.

It wasn't enough and there was no way I was going to do her in a dirty alley so I finally pulled back and tried to calm down. She read it as a change of mind and covered her mouth with her hand in shame. "I am so sorry, I don't know what's wrong with me," she said.

"We're both extremely frustrated and need to be fucked," I said harshly, out of my own frustration not out of anger at her.

"See," she said as if suddenly having a great idea. "You need to go see Jasper right now. Let it all go like you did just now."

I growled with anger and ran my hands through my hair. I didn't need the image of Jasper right now; I needed her in my bed or on her knees. I finally blurted out, "I need to get off, not be criticized. Jasper is the last person I need right now. I need you," I finally said to get it all into the open.

"Okay," she said as she nodded. "Do you want me to jerk you?"

Oh God, was this who I had become, getting hand jobs in dark alleys? I leaned against the cement wall and shook my head as I closed my eyes. "No, that's not what I meant."

"I feel frustrated too, Tony. I want sex, but I know you want a man, not me," she said and I looked over at her.

"No, Bella. It is you I want." There I said it, without any qualifying or conditions. I told her honestly I wanted her and now it was up to her if anything happened or not.

"Oh," she finally said, "I see."

I prayed she did and I wouldn't have to pretend anymore. I could invite her to my bed and teach her anything she wanted without criticizing her. She took my hand and pulled me down the street to the other club so we could get my car. We didn't talk and I was growing nervous by her demeanor. She hadn't actually agreed to anything so maybe she was taking me home to pack my shit.

When we got to the apartment she walked to her room without saying a word. I didn't follow, I headed to my own room and felt the moment we were having was over. We were back to the awkward existence that would only become more awkward.

I took off my jeans and removed my shirt when she opened my door without knocking. I was about to protest until I saw she was completely naked. I looked at her perfect body with almost awe. She reached up and turned off the light, making her only a silhouette against the soft light of the hallway.

"You're beautiful," I said and I couldn't tell if she blushed or not.

"Is this my lesson or yours?" she asked.

"Um…you decide," I said with a bit of disappointment. She wasn't coming to me, she wanted her lesson.

She shut my door plunging us both into total darkness and said, "Tonight will be your lesson."

I felt her hand run along my arm and take hold of my hand to walk me to the bed. I got aroused again quickly and my dick was twitching in anticipation. She climbed onto my bed and I quickly followed but she moved me to the far side over her and then turned onto her side to face me.

"Do you trust me, Tony?"

"Yes," I said with a shaky voice.

"I won't hurt you," she said and I smiled at her concern. My voice wasn't shaky because it thought she would hurt me, it was her body getting me so damn excited that caused it to shake.

She crawled between my legs and pulled them up at the knee so my feet were flat on the bed. Her hands ran down the back of my thigh and then to my balls where she gently held them in her palm. I moaned loudly and she leaned over to kiss my knee which was right by her shoulder.

I couldn't tell what she was doing; her attention was on something as she continued to hold my ball sack with one hand. "What's going on?" I asked her.

She leaned between my legs and came up to my face to kiss me. I tried to roll her over but she resisted and sat back up as she gently stroked my cock, milking me with her hand and spreading my pre-cum with her finger.

"So good," I moaned as I closed my eyes and concentrated on the feeling of her hands manipulating me. She suddenly ran her hand which had been on my cock down between my legs and into my ass crack. My head shot up and my legs tried to close but she was still perched between them.

"Hey, its okay, I'm only going to give you pleasure, Tony." Her other hand touched my cock and gave me a gently squeeze. "You're going to love this and cum harder than you have ever cum in your life," she said with a husky raw voice that told me she was very aroused.

"Sit on me," I said and wanted to be deep inside of her.

"Relax first," she coaxed and let her finger run up and down between my ass and my cock. "Feel my finger; it wants you so badly, let me finger you, Tony."

I was becoming almost delirious as I tried to concentrate on her finger but her other hand was moving my cock up and down with expertise. Her finger was wet and coated with warming gel so I was burning for her. "God Tony, this is getting me so wet," she said with a groan and I almost lost it.

She moved her body to lie between my legs and I could feel my cock against her heated flesh as I arched into her. As soon as I let my body back onto the bed she inserted her finger into me. "Shit," I screamed in shock and she held perfectly still as I adjusted to the pressure and oddness of it all. "Stop Bella," I said loudly and she suddenly moved to my nipple and bit me as my body shuddered from the overload it was experiencing.

Suddenly, she was kissing my mouth and rubbing her naked body all over me. I registered both of her hands, but I could still feel the sensation her finger inside of me left. She was dripping wet and I easily slid inside of her as she writhed on top of me and held my knees in the crook of her arm.

"What's going on?" I asked as my brain couldn't focus on anything.

"Do you like it, Tony?"

"Hell yeah," I said thinking she was talking about her body riding me.

Her finger returned to my ass and I froze but she began pumping me with her body as she worked her finger in and out of me. "Tell me when," she cried out.

"Ah, shit," I screamed as my entire body began to spasm. She suddenly thrust two fingers into me and I lost it completely. I had never cum so hard. I thought I was going to lose all consciousness until I heard her began screaming with her own orgasm. I wanted to be fully aware of her and thrust deeper as she shuddered on top of me.

I wasn't quite sure what just happened or what it meant to my sexuality, but having Bella do that do me got me so excited. She pulled both of her hands in front of her and let them rest on my chest as she tried to calm her body. I could still feel the sensation of her fingers and tried to figure out what was happening.

She smiled at me and said, "See you can have a man make love to you easily, just use the stretchers I put in you for a few days."

6

I couldn't think clearly but my body began to tell me what my mind couldn't wrap itself around. She placed something inside of me, and whatever it was, I wanted it gone. I felt the need to run but I had to be cool about it or she would know something was up.

She continued to stare at me as I tried to come to grips with what was happening. She finally climbed off of me and headed out of the room. I jumped up and ran for the shower to pull whatever she placed up my ass out of me. I found a dome shaped object and quickly flushed it down the toilet before using almost an entire bar of soap to scrub the memory from my body.

I was pissed and not ready to face the girl who just prepped me for a man's dick, so I took something to help me sleep and wanted to just pass out. I knew my turn for retaliation was coming and I was going to make her pay for what she did. I imagined what I would teach her, but the thought of her gnawing me off made me appreciative and no longer angry, so I stopped thinking about it and went to sleep.

It was my last free day until classes and I woke up early and went for a run. I wanted to feel like myself and get a bit of my man pride back before facing Bella. She was making eggs when I walked in and smiled at me. "Hi Tony."

"Hi," I said softly and headed to my room.

"Are you okay?" she asked and looked at me like I would be professing my undying thanks for what she did to me.

"Yeah, I'm good," I said and went to shower and dress for the day.

By the time I came back out she was gone. I was a bit relieved and headed to the campus bookstore to purchase this semester's books. I bought some covers so Bella wouldn't see my Organic Chemistry book and wonder where my finance books were.

"Hey Cullen," Jasper called out and I turned to see him walking toward me. I felt sick to my stomach and looked away since it felt nasty to watch him walk up to me. "Do you have a minute?" he asked.

"Yeah, what do you want?" I asked rudely. I knew it wasn't right to take out my anger on him, but he was a reminder and our friendship was being compromised because of the lie I was living.

"What's up your ass?" he said and his comment hit too close to home. I glared at him and walked away. "Wait, I need to talk to you, shithead."

"Talk as we walk," I said and kept moving.

He stayed even with me and finally said, "Alice got a job offer in Chicago. She'll work for a publishing company and starts in December."

Alice was a year older than Jasper but her tiny frame and girlish enthusiasm made her appear much younger than her calm, stoic boyfriend.

"And?" I said as I quickened my pace.

"Should I propose, or break up with her?" he asked and that got my full attention. I stopped walking and turned to stare at him in shock. He looked distraught and I could tell this was something he was truly struggling with.

"You would get married now?" I asked. It wasn't like I didn't know married couples; it just seemed odd that someone I knew would be mature enough to marry. I was years away from a decision like that and the lie I was living was proof of it.

"No, I have a year left of school after she graduates in December. We would be apart for that year, so do I put a ring on her to keep the other fuckers away, or let her experience other guys and see if she still wants me in a year?"

"She's taking the job?" I asked.

"Absolutely, it is too good of an offer to pass up. I'm insisting she take it."

It made me really proud of Jasper that he would put Alice's needs ahead of his own. I knew for sure I would beg the girl I loved not to leave me if the situation was reversed. "Are you rushing your feelings or is she the one?" I asked.

"I don't know," he said and shook his head. "Alice is great."

"Yeah, she is," I said in agreement. She was the only girl I could stand to be around for hours at a time, except Bella, but that could quickly change after last night.

"But we're just not ready for forever, ya know?"

"Yeah, so are you afraid she'll be gone when you're ready?" I asked and leaned against the same wall he was leaning against.

"How do I tell her to go two thousand miles away but hold on in case I'm ready for a serious relationship in a year?"

"Jasper," I said and put my hand on his shoulder. "That is exactly what you tell her. She might feel the same way. Talk it out."

He nodded a couple of times and took a deep breath. "Thanks, Edward," he said and we both smiled at each other, just as Bella came walking around the corner.

"Hi, guys," she said with enthusiasm and I quickly dropped my hand from Jasper's shoulder. She noticed right away and rolled her eyes at me before saying to Jasper. "Give him a chance; he's more ready than you think."

We both watched her walk away in complete silence and Jasper finally turned his head slowly to look at me. "I hate you Cullen, I really do." He walked away and I was so relieved he didn't ask for an explanation.

I could have told him I finally screwed Bella, but I wouldn't be able to say the words without the guilt of what else happened coming across my face, so nobody would ever know what happened between us that night.

I stopped by the grocery store and stocked up on food for the week before running by the dry cleaners and picking up my clothes. By the time I made it home Bella was already there. She saw me trying to manage the heavy load of bags and hangers and ran down the hallway to help. "You have your clothes dry cleaned?" she asked.

"Don't all gay guys?" I teased and realized it really did strengthen my persona.

"I was happy to see you and Jasper together," she said. "I hope you made up."

"Yeah, it's good," I said quickly and took my hangers to my room. She waited for me to return and helped me put away the groceries. I was stunned she seemed so nonchalant about last night. She was in a relationship and screwed another guy, but she seemed totally unfazed by it.

"Have you talked to your guy?" I asked.

"No, I thought we were going to…you know, teach me first," she said and I almost dropped a bottle of dressing. Her face looked almost sad, as if she thought I fixed my relationship with Jasper so I would forget about her problem.

"And if he asks?" I said.

"I'll tell him he owes you all the gratitude," she said with confusion.

"So he won't care you fucked your roommate?" I asked her outright.

"Tony, it isn't like you could steal me away from him, you're gay," she said with a chuckle and my throat tightened.

I remained quiet and finished putting the food away and suddenly realized she was gone. I had been so deep into my own thoughts I didn't realize she had left the room. I walked down the hallway and stood outside her door. I couldn't make myself knock, so I went to my own room and messed around on my guitar for a bit. It was evening when I got a call from Emmett telling me there was a big party tonight close to campus. I wished I could ask Bella to attend with me, but too many people would know me as Edward.

I got dressed and the more I thought about the party the more I wanted to stay in. I decided to make a quick appearance and then come home early. I got dressed and walked into the outer room to see Bella reading a book. She looked up and I nodded awkwardly.

"Bye," she said and I felt the need to explain for some stupid reason.

"I'm going to a party with Jasper," I said and she smiled and nodded. I felt like I was telling my mother I was headed out to lose my virginity. I stammered for a moment and then just turned and walked out the door. I felt a little pissed at Bella, and I had no idea why. It didn't have anything to do with the stretchers she used without my permission, it was something more.

I showed up at the party and ran into Rose. She rolled her eyes at me and handed me a beer. "I have a friend here I want to introduce you to, but are you gay tonight?" she asked hatefully.

"I would take dick over any of your friends," I said and walked away from her. Rose had set me up before with some of her friends and they were all too much like her, gorgeous visually, but too high maintenance. One girl actually told me not to touch her hair when we had sex. I wasn't looking for a chick that had rules for when we fucked.

I wasn't feeling the party and wanted to leave. I was in a bad mood and headed to my car when someone caught my attention. "Lauren?" I said and the girl turned to look at me.

"Oh my God, Edward, how are you?" she asked as she left her friends and came over to see me.

I met Lauren my freshman year and we hooked up a few times. She wasn't clingy and I liked that about her. I gave her a tight hug and she ran her long nails down my shirt. "I'm so glad I ran into you. I still have your Kings of Leon shirt."

"Really, I wondered where it went," I said and she pulled me toward her car. She handed me the shirt from her trunk and I wondered if it had been there for the past two years.

"I washed it," she laughed, "I know how picky you are about your clothes."

I gave her my best smile. I liked the fact she understood me and I pulled off the shirt I was wearing and put on the old tee. I wanted her to see I still had a good body and hadn't developed a beer gut. She smiled and put her arms around my neck. "It looks better on me, but it's not bad on you," she teased.

I pulled her to me and leaned over to kiss her just as Jasper called out for me. I looked up and he said, "Are you cheating on me?"

Lauren gave me a questioning look and I rolled my eyes. "I got a place at The Colony, but the girl I live with thinks I'm gay."

"What?" she laughed loudly. I could tell she thought it was absurd so I tried to explain.

"Have you seen those units, I'd pretend to be a eunuch to live there. If fact, I'll have you over the next time she is out of town, but you'll have to call me Tony."

She gave me an odd look, like I was a stupid fuck and took a step back. "It was nice seeing you again," she said and walked away quickly. She was right, it was insane to be living the way I was. My brightening mood left just as quickly and I got in my car and drove home as I stewed in my anger.

Bella's bedroom light was on and I could hear soft music coming from behind the door. I hurried to my room, shutting the door as softly as possible and then locking it. I was sneaking around in my own place and it made me a bit sick. I didn't want to talk to Bella right now, in case I blew a fuse and admitted everything. I wanted to sleep on it first.

I looked around the spacious room with the king sized bed and sighed. It was such a great place for the money and I really didn't want to mess it up. I took off my clothes and crawled into bed when she knocked softly on my door.

"Yeah," I called out without getting up.

"Um…can I say something to you?" she asked. Her voice was tight and I felt my heartbeat pick up, worried she found out something.

"Go ahead," I said from my bed.

"Can you come to the door?" she said with irritation and it bugged the piss out of me. I really hoped she did find out I was straight; I would tell her it was none of her fucking business anyway. But fear she would spread around what we did reined me in.

I got up and opened the door just a couple of inches and peeked out, "What?"

"Oh…um…are you with someone?" she asked with wide eyes.

"Yeah," I lied, "Jasper."

"I'm sorry," she said quickly as her face turned bright red and she backed away from the door.

"What did you want to say?" I asked and opened the door wider to look out.

"Nothing, have a good night," she said and rushed back to her room. I shut my door forcefully and locked it before getting back in bed and falling right to sleep.