A/N: This Chapter is an awakening of sorts for Carly. Not necessarily about Freddie. More about life in general. Hope you're enjoying! As usual, comments of any kind are greatly appreciated.

Chapter 2: Window Seat

CPOV

I finally dragged myself off my bed, and into the shower. I knew I had to keep it short, because when I'm upset I tend to take hour long showers, and I didn't want Spencer to be any more suspicious. After walking to my room, I put on my favorite sweatpants, and a huge sweatshirt that I had borrowed from Freddie awhile ago. When I was upset, oversized warm clothes always helped me feel a little better. I wrapped my favorite blanket around me and walked over to my window seat. I sat down, and stared out the window. The raindrops ran down my window pane, and as I watched them race each other to the bottom, my own tears began to fall again.

A part of me didn't really understand why I was so upset. Ben and I had only been going out for two months, so it wasn't as if we were in love or ready to get married. As I sat there, it finally dawned on me why this had made me so upset. It seemed like I was always getting dumped. Was it because I picked guys that were wrong for me? Or was it something about me that just made them change their minds about how they felt about me? One thing was for sure. I was done dating boys just to have a boyfriend. I needed to start looking for something real.

I had been sitting on my window seat for a long time, so much so that I had lost track of exactly how long. I was mesmerized by the way the raindrops slid along the cool glass, and as I watched, two individual raindrops came together to form a single, larger raindrop. Though the act was simple, it made me realize that they had found what I didn't seem to be able to find. My other half, someone who would complete me in a sense.

Suddenly, I heard a quiet knock on my door, and I was so involved in watching the raindrops that I nearly fell off the window seat in shock. After a second, I heard a voice that I couldn't have been happier to hear.

"Carls? It's Freddie. Can I come in?" His soft voice was as soothing to me as the raindrops had been.

I was immediately torn about whether or not I should let him in. I desperately wanted to talk to someone about the whole Ben thing, and my idea of looking for something real. Spencer was tricky because whenever I started to talk about boys or something that was stressing me out, he would make up some art project he had to start working on, or say that he forgot something at the store. Sam would listen for awhile, but eventually she would start daydreaming about meat, usually of the ham variety, and I would be forced to stop talking so she could go raid my fridge, or run to the market across the street. It was obvious that she had other things on her mind. That brings us to Freddie. He's the absolute best listener I have ever met, and I feel bad that I don't tell him how amazing it is to be his friend more often. He actually listens, and asks questions. He doesn't just sit there with a blank look on his face, and shake or nod his head every so often. I have a feeling it's because he lives with just his mother, and her sensitive side rubs off on him.

The only downside about venting to Freddie is that I always feel guilty, because I know how he feels about me. Most of my problems are about boyfriends, or boys I have crushes on, and when I talk about them, I can see the light vanish from his eyes, and his smile dissappears. I know that it makes him upset when I get dumped, or when I'm having a bad day, so I always try to put on a game face if I'm upset, if only to prevent a little bit of his pain.

The thing about my relationship with Freddie is that we have such a strong friendship that I wouldn't want anything to change about it. I know that he has a crush on me, or had a crush on me for a long time. Lately I've noticed that he hasn't tried to 'flirt' with me. He hadn't asked me out in over six months, something he used to do weekly. I can't help but think that he's moved on. I just hope that he doesn't move on from our friendship, because that would hurt me more than any breakup possibly could. We'd been talking a lot lately about our lives, and the things going on around us, but he was acting kind of strange. A lot of times during our talks he would randomly space out and when I'd ask him what he was thinking about, he would just blame it on being tired, or something equally as vague.

"Carly?" I hear my name again, repeated by Freddie, because this time I'm the one who's spaced out.

I quickly surveyed myself in the mirror, and realized that I looked completely horrible. I was sure that even Freddie, who frequently told me I looked beautiful no matter what, would probably gasp in horror at what I looked like. I scrambled over to my dresser and grabbed my brush quickly trying to get the knots out.

"One sec, Freddie. I'll be right there." I shouted, deciding that my hair would have to be enough of an improvement.

I walked to the door, taking a deep breath, and opened the door to see my soaking wet best friend in a rain coat, carrying a tray of smoothies.

.