DISCLAIMER: I do not own this television series, if I did well…
Author's Note: You may look at this as a sequel to Quiver or you can consider it a whole other story, it really does not matter. These two are my newest interest because they are so obvious that it hurts, physically. Too bad the world is so closed minded; otherwise Nick would have done something about it.
XxXxXxX
I know this, I do. I know it to be true- I hate seeing you with him. I don't like this green serpent of jealousy slivering through my veins as I clench my fists, hard. I see that now I should have gone to that anger management class you asked me to attend, because my temper is raving and roaring at the sight of you two.
I just want to shut it all out. I want to turn back time back to when you followed me around like a lost love sick puppy dog. I know this is my entire fault. I see it all now, I see what I could not before- and I want you, but not only in the sexy physical sense, no, in the emotional "I love you," sense.
He doesn't deserve you, he'll never know you the way I do (or did). He'll never understand! But its gone, all went to hell because I couldn't throw away my self pity and doubt. Looking back, I can't help but wonder why I turned you away in the first place, because I'm so far from where I was.
I'm better now; I'm a good person with a stable job, a stable life. And you are just as lovely as always- only your smiles and attention are not directed towards me any longer, that notion hurts like a knife to the gut and it twists and twists every time I see you hanging all over him, that guy.
You're going to marry that guy. The ring is pretty, flashy, so very expensive but your fiancé wouldn't have it any other way. He's got more money then God himself. I still live in that apartment just outside of town.
You look beautiful today, do you even realize it? That dress suits you so well, flattering your sensual curves. I'm standing off to the side as you primp and fluff your hair. I'm watching with grieving eyes, can you see that? Maybe, maybe you can but you're choosing to ignore it, I'm sure.
Today is your day- getting married to that guy, that guy who never knew about our small love affair years and years ago- so long that it doesn't even seem real anymore. But I remember, I can still (to this very day) remember the taste of you, I can still feel your lipstick being smeared across my skin. At night I hear you, that small soft quiver of my name on your lips.
It makes me so weak I can't move, I become paralyzed at the mere memory. Why didn't I take you when I had the chance? I feel like such an idiot! I want to cry and thrash my arms around and around and beg for your forgiveness.
I want to scream out with all my up most despair, "Carly! Carly, I'm sorry! I need you, I love you!"
But my mouth can't form the words, I choke on them each time I try to speak with you. I want to explain, I want to give you a reason as to why I never gave into your pleas- I always thought you didn't deserve me. I was a mess back then, I was spinning out of control- and you wanted me. (Me?) I just couldn't fathom it.
I'm the maid of honor, I'm wearing the dress you picked out especially for me. You're blushing when you turn to me. We're waiting for the signal in the dressing room. I feel like I'm crumbling, like I'm breaking in half and it's all happening very slowly- so painful. I can't… I can't breathe.
"Sam?" You're looking concerned.
"C-Carly…" I whisper, voice cracking.
You walk to me, dress rustling as you make your way to me and place a gentle and warm hand to my bare shoulder.
"Are you okay?"
"I can't…" I begin but my body is tired and my mind is whirling so fast. And then I meet your eyes- our gazes lock, tightly.
How it came to this, I don't know but suddenly I'm kissing you with trembling lips. My hands are clutching onto your plump rosy cheeks. Your lips are glossy and soft- its like kissing flower petals. Heart hammering in my chest I shut my eyes at the feel of tears hotly bleeding down my own cheeks.
I'm pulling you in closer and you are not pulling away. You stay stiff before taking the upper hand and wrapping your arms around my waist and I feel so good, so riled up. I push you back and lift you up onto the vanity table.
Legs open and dress past your upper thighs I let my hands wander… You are tugging on my blond curls and breathing heavily into my ear- begging me, encouraging me. I'm letting it all go, all the pent up aggression and sexual frustration. I'm ready for this, for you. I've waited in silence. I've hung back to the shadows like a fool because I was afraid, well I'm not anymore.
You arch your back and suddenly I want to give you everything you've ever wanted. I want to take you to higher heights, I want to show you just how much I've wanted you. So I press your back farther up against the vanity mirror as your legs wrap and grind against the sides of my hips.
Just as my hand is about to find you, about to explore that side of you, there is a knock on the door.
"Carly? We're ready…"
You pull back as if I've just stung you, hurt you. You're dress is wrinkled, hair tangled, and lips chapped but your eyes are dark as night burning into mine. I shrink away like a coward, letting you breathe in and out and find composer as you slip down from the vanity dresser.
You cling to the edge of the dresser your back turned to me. "I'm so sorry." I whisper hastily.
"Sorry?" You hiss spinning around and staring me down, "Why do you wait so long? Why now, Sam?"
"Because I'm stupid!" I shout flinging out my arms, "Because I was scared and… and…"
You shake your head and wipe away the tears, "I'm getting married… Freddie? I'm…" You look up to me with sad, longing eyes, "I loved you so much, so much."
"I should leave… you go… get married. I'll go away and you'll never hear from me ever again." I swear this with serious eyes and a weak frown.
You chew on your bottom lip, I wonder what you're thinking, what you're planning. "Fine," You say, "Leave then."
I feel like you've just punched me. Air is gone from my lungs as I nod and walk away in a mindless haze. My heels click against the floor as my hand finds the door knob. Just before I walk out I hear the music strike up, and it's then that I break.
Out of the building and into the steaming sunlight I run, heels off and in my hands I run barefoot, feet slapping the pavement and hair down in messy tangles.
The park greets me with a warm grassy embrace. I find a bench and let my head rest in my hands as my shoulder shake and my cries become muffled and weak. The beautiful dress you picked out special is now too binding and uncomfortable; I can't breathe in it I can't seem to suck in enough air to make this pain go away.
The world goes about its merry way, the birds chirp, people are laughing soaking up the sunlight. The day is lovely, perfect and I' am miserable. My apartment does not bring me any joy as I begin to unzip my dress. I hold the red fabric in my hands, standing in my living room, knees trembling and arms shivering.
I hate him! I hate that man you are marrying! I hate the fact that he could give you everything that he is a good man, I hated him even back in grade school. "Freddie…" I hiss clutching the dress before throwing it to the ground. I'm wearing only a loose cream slip. My hair is ruined and I can taste my mascara.
You will move, I know, you will leave and go live your life with that good rich man. You will never think of me again- not even in passing thought. You were my salvation, the one perfect thing in my world, and I tore it, shredded your trust, your heart. Now I' am the one left to be alone forever pinning. The roles have change.
Shakily I take in a breath and sit on the edge of the couch, my body weak. I look at my hands, trying to understand, trying to discover what to do now. Nothing, there is nothing. Time passes slowly, the sun sets and I find myself slipping further and further into depression.
The moonlight covers me when I wake. The stars are scattered and few. I stand up from the couch and lazily walk into the kitchen. I should crack out the alcohol, that's what sad people do, right? They drink themselves silly.
As I'm pouring a glass there is a knock at the door. I wipe my eyes quickly and sprint to the door and swing it open.
"Carly…" I say breathlessly, "What are you…"
Dressed in white, the very image of all that is innocent and good- you stand in my doorway with red rings around your eyes and a weak smile on your plump lips. "Sam…" You says, voice wavering, "I couldn't… I couldn't do it; I can't just erase you from my life."
"What are you saying?" I gulp asking you hastily.
"I'm saying that I'm here, and I love you only you." You smile, and I laugh covering my mouth as new tears appear.
"What about Freddie?"
"He is… digesting it; I was with him all day trying to make him understand… he's very upset right now." You tell with a heavy sigh, I know what he meant to you.
"Come in." I whisper opening the doorway and you walk inside eyes brimming with tears as I close the door and pull you to me.
"I love you." I say pushing strands of your black hair from your eyes.
"I love you too, Sam, so much."
My lips crash into yours and I know that this is it; this is how the world should be, my arms entwined with yours and our lips pressed together. Forever, this is forever.
XxXxXxXxX
Author's Note: I really wanted a happy ending; I'm kind of a sucker for them. This was not supposed to be the best thing since sliced bread so if it was predictable and dull, oh well; I was having a little fun. Leave your thoughts.
