Hi again! ^-^ As you can tell, I'm suffering from massive writer's block, and this is easy and fun to write, so yea… I still don't own Hellsing, and since I got to baby sit, I got to sort of own Irene while I was writing. ON WITH THE STORY!!!!
Some how or another Irene had managed to tackle Walter in a flying hug -a glomp as she put it- and sent the both of them soaring into the next room.
"Walter!" Seras cried out in worry, darting to the whole Irene had made in the wall. "How did she do this?"
"I told you already, I'm the author, I can do ANYTHING! Cue thunderclap!" Irene shouted from where she was sitting, on Walter's chest. Outside thunder rolled. Irene scowled. "I said thunderclap! Not thunder roll!" Outside thunder clapped. "Thank you, kindly."
"Um, Miss Victoria, could you please tell me who this is?" Walter wheezed.
"I'm Irene, aka your biggest fan!" Irene beamed. "Well, maybe not your biggest, but I'm your Dental Floss of Doom's biggest fan."
"Could you please get off of me Miss Irene?"
Irene looked down at the aging butler who was steadily turning blue. "Fine, but you have to stay right there. If you try to run, God help me, I will sic every fan girl I know on you, and trust me, if I'm the frying pan all those crazies are the fire. With me you only have to deal with one."
"Deal! Deal, OK!" Walter gasped a breath of much needed oxygen when Irene beamed even brighter and hopped off. Shakily, Walter picked himself up. "As I was trying to say earlier, Master Alucard, Miss Victoria, I have your dinner ready." At this Alucard grinned wider, and seemed about ready to clap his hands and skip around. This worried everyone but Irene. "Alucard, since when did you get this excited over medical blood?" Walter asked.
"I don't know!" Alucard beamed. Well, as close to a beam as he could. Which meant he was just baring his teeth more than usual. "I don't even like medical blood all that much! Please help me!" At this Irene burst out laughing. "It was you!" Alucard giggled, actually giggled. "What ever you're doing STOP!" Alucard managed to growl out the last word, but it didn't have nearly the intimidation level it usually did when coupled with giggles. Seras stood off to the side her fist in her mouth, desperately trying not to let out the merest chuckle. Alucard saw. "And what do you have to say about this Police Girl?" he snarled. Unable to disobey a direct order Seras removed her fist and opened her mouth to speak. Unfortunately, we don't know what witty comment I'm sure she would have sniped off because as soon as she wasn't hindered by anything, she burst out into insane giggles and several snorts.
"I-I-I'm sorry, Ma-a-a-ha-ha-aster," she gasped between giggles. Alucard raised his hand as if her was about to strike her -which he would have done to anyone else- but with a scowl he lowered it. Still scowling Alucard went forward and snatched his meal from a highly amused Walter, turned and walked out of the room dramatically. "Wait, Master!" Seras called trotting after him.
"Hmm. It would seem Miss Victoria forgot her blood package," Walter commented lightly, looking down at the still full silver trey in his hands.
"You mean she 'forgot' it," Irene scowled. Walter had no idea why this girl took such offence at Seras's now normal antics.
"Miss Irene, why does it bother you so much?
"She's so stupid! She freaking chose to be a vampire, and now she won't do any of the stuff that goes with it! I bet she doesn't even sleep in a coffin. As a matter of fact, I know she doesn't!" she stormed. "God, what a moron! I'll take her the blood." She grabbed the blood pack, and stamped out of the room muttering wildly.
Walter cocked his head to the side, and followed Irene at what he dubbed to be a safe distance away. In other words, about twenty meters. Seras's terrified scream, Alucard's growling shout, and a new demented cackle quickly caused the retainer to quicken his pace to a most un-gentlemanly dash. He opened the door to Seras's room where the ruckus was coming from, and what he saw made him want to quietly close the door and go back to what he normally did and forget he had ever seen it; however, his grandfatherly affection for Seras stopped him from doing it.
Alucard was tied up in the corner with what appeared to be dental floss, and Irene was chasing Seras around wielding the blood pack.
"You will eat this young lady!" Irene shouted.
"NO! MASTER, HELP!" Seras shouted.
Alucard merely shouted obscenities.
"WHAT IS GOING ON?!?" Walter shouted.
"WHY IS EVERYONE YELLING?" a new voice shouted from the top of the stairs.
Everyone looked up.
"Oh, great," Irene muttered. "It's the Queen Bitch herself."
I think my readers are allergic to giving flames. I put out this silly thing, said it was OK to flame, and still nothing! I'm still open to flames, because I, unlike my poor plot bunnies, am not allergic to fire, and I can handle it! *(cue thunderclap)* Anyways, as always review! Oh, I have so many surprises in store for you guys!
