I'm getting changed when I pick up the necklace Elena gave me, it's a shame I cant wear it anymore, I knew what it was the moment she gave it to me, I'm not stupid. I lay it down with a sigh and drink some of the blood I stole, its tastes really good, like candy apples and cherry coke, yum. Then my face starts changing, I expected it to happen eventually, but I didn't expect it to hurt. I cant stop my cry of pain and a nurse runs in, I remember that thing Damon use to do on me, that mind control thing and concentrate. It works and see tastes yummy.
After I change I patch up the nurse and give her a story for it, I noticed her wedding ring and smile, might as well make this fun. I call my mom and leave a message, saying their letting me out. I smile the whole way to the carnival, this vampire thing might be ok.
When I get to the school I put my bag in my locker and go to find Damon. I follow him down a corridor, he turns to me with a cheeky smirk "hey Blondie, they let you out?" I hate that name, since the first time he said it. He starts walking off again as I say "I need your help!" he looks back at me seemingly amused "oh really, and why would I help you?" I take a step forward "Katherine came to see me last night." he is suddenly very interested "Katherine?" I nod as he walks closer "yeah she told me to give you and Stefan a message 'game on'." he's so close now I could touch him "did she say anything else?" I shake my head "no, but she did smother me with my own pillow. Talk about bitchy." his eyes go wide "she turned you? how are you so relaxed about this?" I look him dead in the eyes and confess "you never compelled me. I had vervain in my bracket since I was a kid, Until today." he takes my wrist and examines the charms, finding the star he looks up at me "you knew?" I nod in confirmation "then why play along? Why do all those things I said?" I touch his smooth cheek and smile sadly "because you asked me to." I drop his cheek and step back, turning on my heal to find what's left of my human life.
I find Matt at one of the game stands, I act like everything fine, something I've perfected over the years, but when I smell his blood all I want is to rip into his neck, like a kid with the cake mix bowl, I want to bury my face in and have every last drop, so I pull away, push him back and walk off. I may be a bitch, but I'm not a monster…am I? I need a walk, to get away from everyone. I cant stop crying as I realize I'll never have a normal life again, then I smell it, Blood, sweet, delicious, mouth-watering blood.
I turn and see some guy, I cant stop, its like… I'm on autopilot, I'm just so hungry. Afterwards I sit there, I don't want to be like this, I don't want to have to leave everything I love like in the movies. I can see him through my hair as he gets closer and I announce "he's dead. I killed him… I'm a monster!" I sob and he comes to me "hey, its ok. I can help you?" I look at him, at that grin "I know, I know" I jump off the truck and into his arms "just like before." I breath a sigh on relief as he asks "what do you mean before?" I look up, his hands on my hips and I smile through bloodstained lips. His eyes search mine for an answer, but then Stefan's there pushing him back, then I see the stake as it falls to the floor.
I feel my heart catch in my throat "you were going to kill me?" I whimper and look into his eyes "you always said you would. Asshole." he seems upset by my reaction as I smile sadly, because I could never hate him, even if he killed me. Stefan drags me to the bathroom, as I clean up calmly he asks, concerned "Caroline? Are you ok?" I nod "yeah, just got to get this hunger under control, don't want to turn out like Edward Cullen, freaking out over the smell of human blood, making it so I cant have sex. I think I'd stake myself if that happened." he looks at me confused as I wipe away the last of the blood "how are you so…?" I turn and interrupt "cool, amazing, crazy?" he smiles and then goes back to serious face "calm? Most people in this situation would be majorly freaking out right now." I smile at him, brushing off my clothes "that's what you forgot Stefan. I'm Caroline Forbes, student counsel vice-president, head of the prom comity and a hot, bad ass vampire." he laughs ay my Carolineness as I continue, feeling my face change again "I just need to find a way to control my urges." he walks over to me and his face changes to, I can see his puzzlement at my lack of surprise and guides me "you need to fight it off, bury it. Just breath though it." I start taking short, deep breaths with him and feel my face come back to normal. I cant fight I triumphant smile, but it dies as I question with uncertainty "why did Katherine do this to me?" he takes me in his arms and answers "I don't know. I wish I did." I look to the floor as he promises to keep me safe, because it's the wrong brother.
When I get home, to an empty house, again, I change and pull out my box, I look through the articles and find a picture of him in black and white with curly hair. I outline my star charm around his face and cut it out, then place it lovingly inside. I know I'm acting like a complete stalker chick, but I cant help it. I hear a noise from my window and quickly hide my secrets away in their box. It's Matt, sweet, caring, perfect Matt, why cant I obsess over you? That night he tells me he loves me and I feel so guilty for not feeling the same. I want to! Any girl would be over the moon for a guy like Matt to love them, but I'm not, because I'm screwed up so much that I've been collecting newspaper clipping since I was ten of a vampire, who is a complete dick and treats me like shit. What's the hells wrong with me?
