The smell of bacon and egg wafts into my room reminding me of what the day brings. I reluctantly get out of bed wishing that father had already gone to work.
I get up and put on my favorite pair of pants and shirt as I make up my mind to enter The Selection. Although it pains me to think of leaving Shane, I believe that he would be smart enough to leave too. He will be turning nineteen this year, so I could claim him as a guardian in order to rid myself of this place. I stop myself mid thought to remind myself that I haven't even filled out the form yet. I scramble to fill out the form and head to the kitchen.
I try to be as helpful as possible, but mother doesn't seem too pleased to have me help as she hands me plates to set the table with. Once we sit down to eat, the food is as bland as ever, but I make sure to eat everything on my plate. Right before we get up to put away the dishes, father grabs my arm and pierces me with his gaze.
"What do you want?" he says flatly
"Um, what do you mean?" I cower at the thought of him getting angry and start to shake.
"Don't act Naïve. I know when someone wants something from me."
"I just want to go out this afternoon. Just to the library and some shops" My voice trails off as if to apologize for my previous actions and to hide the shakiness of my voice.
"Alright. Be back by six."
"Thank you father"
I help wash the dishes and clean the table as if to make sure my luck would not fade. I head back to my room to quickly pack my things and stop myself from shaking with fear.
I pack up my first aid kit, clothes, and some extra food. Most of my stuff fits in my backpack, even though we are in the third caste now doesn't mean that we always were. Mother married up here because she was in love; I rolled my eyes at the thought.
Mother used to be known all around for her voice and piano skills but now all she does is mope around. After she got married to my father, she stopped singing and we never bought a piano. I've only ever heard about her first marriage from gossip, but I've been told she was done with the complications and gave in. Then it only got worse when she met my father. The rest is just a nightmare that she never wants to think about, let alone talk about with me and my brother. I doubt she even has the will to complain. I shake my head at that thought.
I start walking towards the front door when Shane walks beside me and carefully places something in my bag. Of course, he knows that he isn't going to see me again for a while from the talk we had last night. I walk out the door like nothing had happened and hope Shane can get somewhere safe. Just for a second, I let myself look back and hope that I never return.
