Hi everyone!! I know it's been a while, but I have been a little sick, and school started for my kids, and girl guide/boy scouts!!! So, been a little busy!! This is a relatively short update, but quality vs. quantity, quality always wins!! :)

Also, I didn't want to add more to this chapter, I think were I left it is perfect, and it will leave everyone wanting more :) ;)

R&R, and enjoy!!

Chapter2--Sex and ViolenceThe doctor watched Harry as the Captain, Tuvok, and Tom tried to convince the young man to go to treatment. His behaviour had become increasingly unpredictable, and unstable. He obviously wasn't fit for duty, he frequentily made mistakes, was hostile to many of his crewmates, and ordered alcohol during duty, however his off-duty behaviour was even more disturbing.


"I don't know what kind of treatment your expecting me to go in for?" He blurted out, he sat there quietly for too long, he couldn't listen to them anymore, they didn't understand his situation, none of them could.

"You are obviously not well." Tuvok quickly answered. "You need to control your emotions, I would be more then willing to help you manage them."

"I don't need you to help me manage my emotions, I don't feel anything, I'm not happy, I'm not sad, I'm not anything." Harry said, he kept his eyes forward, not looking at anyone in particulare, his arms crossed over his chest, he answered flatly, in a monotoned voice.

"It sounds to me like you are depressed." The doctor finally spoke-up, all eyes went from the doctor to Harry, they were all desperate to find a solution. Harry felt incredicably uncomfortable, his arms started to itch, his legs felt like they were on fire, he swore he could feel their eyes burning a whole through him.

"It sounds like your dick." He spat back.

"Ensign." Janeway warned, she wasn't taking anymore of his crap, like Tom, Katherine was getting tired of being blamed.

You feel nothing, I guess that means I have never meant anything to you. The walls began to bleed, slowly oozing from the ceiling down the walls. I guess I now know how you really felt about me, you let me die.

Harry tried to stay calm, he could no longer hear what the others were saying. He could hear Dean's heartbeat, it raced, pulsating, vibrating in his ears, he thought his eardrumbs were going to explode.

I died for you, for what I thought you stood for, now I know it was a lie, and I died for nothing. He screamed.

Dean fell to the ground, his body started to seize, his eyes went into the back of his head. The blood on the walls quickly oozed onto the floor, surrounding Harry, he felt something sticky on his hands, he soon found himself covered in blood. He could hear Dean gasping for air, then he stopped, his chest arched-up at the ceiling fall flat onto the ground. His head turned towards Harry, he could hear laughter, laughter of the Seanix and his cronies, they suddenly appeared, laughing, taunting. They too were covered in blood, Dean's and their own. Harry coud see the horrific injuries he inflicted. They laughed more, and move towards Harry.

What happened next was a blur, it happened so fast, he didn't even know that he was being restrained, and sedated. When he shut his eyes he could still see the blood.


Tom sat at his favourite bar stool, he nursed his drink, his chin resting in the palm of his hand. He hadn't heard the captain walk in, she took a seat beside him and mimicked his posture, he turned to her and raised an eyebrow.

"What? Your not the only one having a bad day." She commented, he turned back around and resumed his brooding.

"The doctor.." He raised a hand to stop her.

"Please, I really don't want to know. I just want to sit here."

They sat quietly, the silence was comforting to each of them. This place didn't expect anything, the holodeck people expected nothing of these two, silence wasn't awkward in here.

After a while, Tom finally broke the silence "You were right." He conceded quietly.

"About what?"

"About, keeping Dean's paternity quiet." She laughed.

"I couldn't have been more wrong."

"Do you really believe that?" He looked her in the eyes, she thought he was joking, but she could see the wearyness was pulling him down, he had no more energy for joking around.

"Do you really believe I did the right thing?" She asked to avoid the question.

"How could you think you didn't?"

"We're going around in circles, and I really don't want to talk about this." She turned around to leave.

"That's right, just leave, you don't want to deal, Harry doesn't want to deal,and I get it, I don't blame you. I can hardly deal with everything, I'm just so damn....." He trailed off, he covered his face with his hand, rubbing it hard.

"So, damn tired." He finished quietly.

She turned around, sat back beside him, and with tears in her eyes she said.

"18 people are dead because of my decision, how is that the right thing?"

"Their deaths are not your fault." He defended.

"I'm the captain, it is my job to protect my crew. Their deaths are my fault." She chuckled a little. "You sound like Chakotay. He's always saying it's not my fault, I have to talk about it."

"He's right." He put a hand on her shoulder, She looked him in his blue eyes, they were perfectly clear orbs of sky blue, they made her want to cry more.

"Is he? I've had this conversation in my head..." She shook her head slightly. "a million times. I try,I try to rationalize it, but I know I made a huge mistake. Harry hates me."

Tom laughed "Welcome to the club, Harry hates me too!!"

They looked at each other and laughed again "Harry hates everyone and everything." Tom said.

"I'm sorry." She said sulking.

"For what?"

"I came in here to cheer you up, and I've done a piss poor job."

"You realize you just said piss poor." He gave her a humouress look then they both burst out in laughter.

Tom wipped his eyes "You've done a great job of cheering me up! I feel much better." He said honestly.

"I'm happy." She smiled, she always noticed how attractive he was, in the dim lights of the bar, the keys of the piano playing in the background, it was solemn, but it played to her sole. She could feel it inside of her, her heart beat in unison.

She took a deep breath, her chest heaved, she moved slightly closer to him. He noticed that she moved closer, how her breast became fuller with each breath. He moved closer to her. So close, they were almost cheek to cheek, he pressed his lips against her's. Katherine put her hand against his chest, he was much more musculare then he appeared in his uniform, she could feel his heart pound heavily against her palm.

This was a place of undersanding, of comfort, no one knew what they felt, the dread they had been wading through the past 3 months. However, none of that matter at this moment, there was no fear, anger, hatred, they didn't feel tired. What they did feel was passion, as they became one, they forgot that anyone else existed for a short while.

After the passion, came shame. They both knew what they had done, Tom was with Belanna, Katherine, even though it was never spoken, did have feelings for Chakotay. They both felt as if they had betrayed someone very dear, and what had started as comfort, a way to cope with their unending melancholy, now it was just more added weight to their despressive state.

Katherine, once dressed, stormed out, Tom wanted to talk to her, tell her he was sorry. But, he knew it was useless, how could he convince her of something he didn't even believe himself. He turned around, he put his hand through his hair, then threw a chair at the shelves of liquor.


EK!! Tom and Janeway!! Read more to see what will happen next!! I know you guys are bitting your nails to see what will happen next LOL!!