Anko deep in thought, jumped, startled at the heavy knock on the Hokage's door.
"Come in. AND IT BETTER BE IMPORTANT!" Lady Tsunade yelled.
Shizune quickly rushed into the office, approached Lady Tsunade and whispered in her ear. The Hokage scowled and sighed loudly.
"Anko, I need you to come back tomorrow. I have something I need to attend to that will take the rest of my day."
"Yes mi' lady." Anko said, bowing.
"You are to report back here at noon tomorrow, and Shizune will see to it that I'm not interrupted". Lady Tsunade said, furrowing her brows at Shizune, who looked away red faced.
Anko stood, deciding to take the window out. She landed lightly outside of the building, heading home.
Six years, she thought.
Six years she held on to this secret, only partially revealed to the Hokage. It was only this secret that she hoped to leave suppressed, tucked away, hoping to eventually forget. Everything around her seemed to fade by as her legs guided her to the door of her small apartment hidden in a snug corner of the village. As she made her way inside, she sighed, pushing the door closed behind her and walked towards her living room. She pulled off her trench coat, tossing it in a chair. Anko then paused, stopping midway between the kitchen and the living room as she sensed him.
"I told you to stop breaking into my apartment." she said weakly.
"And?"
"I'm tired of repeating myself."
"And?"
"What do you want, Kakashi?"
"The truth."
She turned around to look at the copy ninja, who was leaning on her door staring back at her.
"You just can't break in here, my apartment, and demand anything of me."
He didn't respond as he continued to stare at her.
"I thought you said you trusted me."
"I do.", Anko said.
"Then what are you hiding from me?"
Anko rolled her eyes and turned around to walk to her couch, but bumped her face smack dab into Kakashi's chest.
"Kakashi, I'm not the same girl you knew before I left the Leaf." she said, looking up at him.
"And you can't always keep the tough girl bravado thing going on all the time. I know you. I can see through that and I know something's wrong." he said. Tears brimmed in her eyes as she fought for words to say. She wanted to fight him, say anything. Anything to make him leave.
"What would you care anyway! You just come by here for an occasional fuck when Sakura's not putting out!" she yelled.
She tried to push past him, but he wouldn't let her pass. He grabbed her, shaking her still.
"You think I don't care? Don't understand?" he said angrily. "How do you think I felt, losing one of my best students to Orochimaru? Were you not the one, the only one here, in this village who understood what Sasuke was going through and helped me to understand?"
She glared at him, refusing to respond. He let her go and stepped back. "You're right. You aren't the same girl since you came back to the Leaf."
"I just thi-..."
Her words were interrupted as Kakashi pulled her to him and pressed his lips against hers. She tried to push him away, hitting him anywhere her hands would land, but he held her tight, ignoring her movement and her groans. Slowly, she gave in. He forced her against the wall and tilted her chin up, kissing her roughly and deeply, while his fingers wiped away the tears streaming down her face. His kiss, his soft lips were the type that would melt away all her anxiety and all her fears about not sharing her complete past with him. Yet it did nothing to quell her shame, her remorse, and her guilt. Even still, his once forceful hard kisses, now slow and gentle were easing down the walls she tried to hide behind. He slowly broke their kiss, as he pecked gentle kisses along her neck.
Whispering in her ear, he said, "You're the woman who's been a prized possession of the Leaf, one who should never regret her past."
He planted more kisses up her neck, and then along her jaw, and then kissed her lips. He paused, his eyes only focused on her lips. He ran his fingers across them as she stared at his beautiful face.
"It's what's made you who you are today and what's helped created reputable ninja from this very village." he said softly to her.
His face became blurry as tears filled back into her eyes, clouding her vision.
"I don't have to say the words Anko."
"But I need you to say them...I need you to." she said to Kakashi, her voice quivering. He grabbed her hands, interlacing his fingers between hers. He kissed her again, slowly, gently.
"I love you..." he said.
He leaned forward, his lips grazing her ear.
"Always.", he whispered.
Kakashi's arms surrounded Anko. His body radiated warmth. Warmth she wished she could bask in forever. Kakashi felt Anko's body shivering. He picked her up and carried her to the bedroom, stripping away both her clothes and his. He pulled her into the bed with him and they both just lie there. He held her in his arms, until her anxiety melted away, until her shivering stopped and she was no longer crying. He kissed her again, running his fingers through her hair, slipping her hair band away. Her hair tumbled down as Kakashi continued running his fingers through it. He wrapped his arms around her, and closed his eyes. He came to the realization that it was never about Anko not trusting him, not about any false pretense of him leaving her because of her past, nor was it about any fears of being judged. She was traumatized, even after all these years. Almost in queue with his realization, she spoke, telling him everything.
He watched her drift slowly to sleep, her eyelids sliding shut against her will. The Sharingan slowly turned, dragging her into deep slumber. It was the least he could do for Anko, all considering. As for himself, he lie there in her bed, holding her, thinking about that very word he promised to her years ago. He closed his eyes and smiled to himself, thinking about their past. That one word repeated over and over in his head...
"Always..."
...and he let this memory carry him into sleep, recalling the beginnings of his first mission he had with her.
It was dark outside, and the sun hadn't risen yet. She felt him plant gentle kisses on her face and down her neck. She didn't move, keeping her eyes shut. He was leaving and knew she was awake, but he decided to leave without explanation. This was something he had to do. He left the apartment, and headed towards the entrance gate of the village, where he would wait, expecting Choji, Ino, and Shikamaru to arrive.
Anko finally arrived at the Hokage's office where she again, pulled up a chair and continued where she left off. Lady Hokage watched her as she told her story.
"Many years ago, I was once told, "Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death."
Somehow I wanted to ride in on death with no remorse for my sin. My desire was warranted to welcome in my sin. With my sin, he gave me death. That was my mindset and what I had come to terms with at that time. Yet, I desired Hidan. More so after the fact. I had to see him again. I wanted him again."
She paused to wipe a tear from her face and looked up at Lady Tsunade.
"I found myself back in the one place I hated most. I needed to be back. I needed power." Anko continued.
Her eyes opened, yet she remained still. She was back in her room, back into the vices of his hideout. A tear rolled down Anko's cheek as her eyes adjusted to the darkness in her room, yet a smile was on her face. What happened to me she thought to herself. She touched her neck, checking for the two wounds she remembered from last night. They were gone. She sat up, placing her hands under her shirt to touch the wound he made down her chest. That too was gone, yet she could feel pain everywhere he had touched her, everywhere he cut her. There was yet another dull pain she felt. Anko swung her legs to the edge of the bed and stood up. She walked across her room to the mirror on the wall. She pulled off all her clothes and looked at herself in the mirror. Her entire night was confirmed, summed up with the small scar on her body. Just below her bikini line, was what appeared to be an "H" carved into her flesh. It was barely visible, as if it had healed and had been there for months. Anko was at a loss, not sure what to think.
"So you've met the likes of Hidan, I see." said a familiar voice coming from behind her.
Anko remained silent as she continued to examine her naked flesh in the mirror.
"I hear that he's a bit of a ruthless, death mongering prick. Didn't know that was your thing Anko."
"So what of it Orochimaru?" Anko said, annoyed.
"Just an observation." he said as a snake coiled around her leg. Anko remained, unmoved as the snake slithered its way up her body, sliding up her legs. It grew longer and thicker as it coiled higher and higher onto her.
"So...he's made a woman out of you."
Anko didn't respond.
"You smell of death...hate...and sex." he said, with a sinister grin. The snake transformed, melding into her skin, leaving Anko fully dressed in her usual outfit, one of Orochimaru's liking. She smiled at herself in the mirror, turned and walked past him, leaving the room.
"You're weaker than I thought...and we'll have to fix that." she heard him say as she walked down the hall.
Weeks passed as Anko trained, learning new Jutsu's from Orochimaru. Anko heaved heavily as she held her side. Today he was worse than ever, demanding of her more and more as each hour passed. Orochimaru was giving her the silent treatment, only speaking to her when it seemed to be required. She charged towards him again, sparring taijutsu only.
"Humph" he said as he dodged her attempts at striking him, countering with weak swats to her hands. "Too predictable girl!" he said as he swung around her and struck her across the back. Anko tumbled to the ground. "We're done for now and you've improved...quite a bit, in fact." he said.
Anko felt the anger rise up and spoke before thinking. She was tired of feeling sub par.
"NO! I want to continue!" she yelled.
He laughed at her. "And so she awakens...here I come."
Anko stood up, raising her fists to challenge him. Before she could even blink, she found herself defending, blocking his taijustu. His fists seemed to be coming at her from every angle. She was trying to time him, trying to find an opening to strike, but he wasn't letting up. And that god dammed smile of his. She could almost see the opening. One more pass and she'd have him. She could feel herself slowing sliding backwards from the force of his strikes as he pressed forward. The seal he'd put on her neck was burning. She could feel it spreading across her face and down her arms. Anko was letting it take over her as her anger turned to rage as her desire built to defeat Orochimaru.
"I heard that you plan on replacing me." she said as she continued to defend. He didn't respond as he pressed forward, kicking her hard.
"Answer me!", she yelled.
"What is it that you want to hear? That I've found a vessel more worthy? That you're too weak? That your will is not that which I desire?" he said annoyed.
"Grrraaaaaah!" she screamed as she countered, landing a hard fist to his jaw. Orochimaru spun midair, landing five feet away with a thud. She started to advance when suddenly he spoke.
"You are superb." he said, breathing heavily. You've grown so much and learned quickly many things I have taught you. I'd even go so far to say you're my greatest subordinate, yet your dedication has been elsewhere." He stood up. "Your thrive for hate grows weak each day." He was suddenly behind her, his teeth sinking deep into her neck.
"...and as I felt his poison seeping into me, it was then that I realized he was right. The only hate in me that I had was for him. That hate was rooted in my desire to take revenge against him. Revenge for him seducing me with false desires and personal gain, only to find out that I was just a pawn. A vessel to help him destroy the Leaf. I mean, I looked up to him. I had so much respect for him. Yet, I was also jealous. Jealous of this new prospect he had come upon. I felt like he just threw me to the wayside, like a fuckin' piece of trash, for this new prospect. That prospect we'd find years later to be Sasuke of course..."
As quick as his fangs parted from her, she suddenly felt a sharp pain as if she were stabbed in her chest. She fell forward, landing to the ground coughing up blood. Her heart was palpitating and her surroundings seemed to be whirling away to darkness. She heard Orochimaru laughing, but that too faded away.
"I call to you...step forward and look before me child. Cast all fear away as your eyes become clear to what pain reveals it's self to truly be..."
It was that voice again. Anko's eyes opened. She was in a dense dark corridor overcome in fear. She stepped forward, but stopped to look down at her feet. The floor was flooded in shallow liquid up to her ankles. Blood. Warm blood at that.
"Don't be afraid child. Do come forward."
Anko had no choice and nowhere else to go as she moved down the corridor. It took her what seemed like forever in an eerie silence to get to the end of the corridor, which led to what appeared to be a chapel. Terror ebbed at the edges of her sanity as her eyes took in the room. The walls were dark and glistening as blood poured down them. The only window was at the front of the chapel. Red and black stained glass with that familiar seal in black. The seal of Jashinism. The small chapel was dark, given that the only sources of light were torches and candles lined along the walls at sides of pews. It was also humid and dense. There was someone ahead of her at the pulpit, back turned towards her, arms out, with his palms face up. He was dressed in a white flowing robe, with the circular seal embroidered on the back. His hair was dark and just past his shoulders.
"What do you want with me?"
Suddenly the man turned to look at Anko. The air seemed to escape her as her eyes met with his. She was taken aback at the sheer beauty of the man before her. There he stood, flowing black hair, silvery eyes and tall. Very tall. His muscular build seemed to tower over her as his eyes seemed to invade everything private about her. Every sense she imagined seemed to go haywire within her as she stared at this man. If he was a God, he had to have been Jashin himself, as there was no denying sense in his eyes. She had lost any and all semblance of control over her body. She didn't know if it was a desire for him that she wanted or if it was fear that she should be feeling.
"Give to me your life, and I shall pass to you, their death." he said smiling.
His hand caressed Anko's face and unbelievable shivers went down her spine. Orochimaru's blood and his death was what seemed to permeate the forefront of her mind.
"Yes child, I know...and it shall pass with no remorse, should you give your self to me."
"How did you know?"
"I, Lord Jashin know of all things...your desires, your feelings, your blood lust, and everything else. My hand shall guide you and I will reveal to you the true eternal bliss you've longed for."
His voice felt like it intertwined its self with her very soul. She could feel each word vibrating in her being. There was no such thing as resistance in his presence. He grabbed her hand, and the next thing she knew, she was engulfed in light. His lips met hers and she was then pulled into another realm.
..and it was there that I became stronger. It was there that I learned that I had a deep and strong desire for blood. I lusted for it. I craved it, wanting to just taste it once more. I can't even confirm how long I had been there, but when I woke, I was no longer in Orochimaru's hideout. I was in Amegakure...
Hidan was leaping quickly from tree to tree, trying to quickly get to his meeting spot with Kakuzu. It had been a few weeks since he was at the outskirts of the Leaf Village. He soon wanted to dash that girl from his mind initially, yet his mind refused. It happened at this very moment. She had given herself over. Hidan could feel it and his body responded immediately. He brought her to Jashin and Jashin accepted her as Hidan's redemption for his sins.
"I thank you, my Lord." he said into the wind as he wiped away blood trickling from his mouth.
Hidan committed himself to the ways and teachings of Jashinism years ago, vowing to abide by many rules his sensei taught him, especially abstinence. Yet, that night, a few weeks ago, there was something about Anko that he desired, something that drew him to her. Try as he might, there was no shaking her from his mind. He stopped, landing on the ground below.
"How long have you been following me?"
Kakuzu stepped from around a tree and walked towards Hidan.
"Long enough to know that something's troubling you." he replied.
Hidan grinned at his partner and sat down.
"Do sit then, let me indulge you!"
Kakuzu sat down under the morning shade across from Hidan, curious to his explanation.
"That girl Orochimaru's hiding in the west gate hideout..." Hidan stroked his chin, sorting his thoughts out. "She was trying to escape a few weeks ago and I stopped her."
"Since when have you cared about the likes of some random girl?"
"I've had a bit of a vested interest in her."
"In other words, you've been stalking her."
"She's been trying to kill herself daily. Who am I to let an opportunity like this pass me by? I figured it was my calling to be her redeemer and bring her to Jashin."
Kakuzu scowled at Hidan. "I highly doubt that anyone could be crazier than you. Exactly how did you stop her?"
"She wanted to fight." Hidan said smirking.
"And?"
"And me being the type of guy that I am, I gave her the fight that she wanted."
"By the smug look on your stupid face, you must have given her more than that. I didn't know you were into chics like her. I thought you would've been into a more sophisticated type like Konan."
Hidan smiled big and didn't respond.
Kakuzu laughed. "What's that smile about?"
"Nothing." he said as a quick flashback crossed his mind of him peeling off Konan's paper outfit, square by square and paper cutting himself with each little piece. Kakuzu rolled his eyes not wanting to hear his back story on Konan.
"So anyway, that girl at Orochimaru's..." Hidan said letting his mind refocus on Anko.
"I don't like her and she can't be trusted." Kakuzu said abruptly. "And actually, I'm willing to wager that she hates Orochimaru so much, that if she doesn't leave, she's gonna try to kill him...that or go back to the Leaf."
"Yeah, I'm sure of that too, but there's something about her. Orochimaru has her for a reason I can't figure out. That and she reminds me of myself. I feel a blood lust in her. The desire for death. I'm very interested in her."
"I thought you'd sworn off women. What happened to your so called religious dedication?"
Hidan leaned back against the tree he was sitting in front of and sighed. "I've done well, all considering, yet I'm still a man. Even I fall victim to temptation every now and then."
"Every now and then? Temptation? You defeat the purpose of even having a religion. Jashin is gonna strike you down; rid himself of you without even a second thought. That's why I don't even bother."
"And that's why you're the way you are now." Hidan said annoyed.
"Nope. Actually, I am apart of one religion." He pulled a small book from his pocket and rose up. "It's call the church of my bingo book, and I pray that the gods rain down riches and keep me paid."
They both laughed as they got up and headed for the Rain Village.
-
TBC
