Disclaimer: If you don't know we don't own it by now, there's no hope for you. LOL
A/N: A Calliope Jones and Chel88 collaboration! We're really glad y'all like it so far.
Destroyed
I did my best to please you
But my best was never good enough
Somehow you're only able to see
All I am not
Did you ever look behind
Aren't you afraid of the pieces you'll find
I have failed you
September 13th.
The day I had my revelation.
The day that everything changed.
I knew that stupid birthday party was a bad idea from the
start. But to question my wife's intentions would get me nowhere. I knew better and yet, I questioned her anyway.
"Alice, why are you so hell bent on having this party for
Bella? She's clearly said that she hates them and all the attention…maybe you should just listen to her for once."
She stared at me for a moment, a look of confusion crossing
her features.
"But Jasper…" Alice pouted, batting those eyes at me. I hated when she did that. She knew when she did it, there was no denying her.
Know why? Because I was weak. Because I thought that I owed it to her to give in to her every need.
Like she said, I had kept her waiting for such a long time. God, the moment I laid eyes upon her, I knew I was a goner. I never stood a chance.
So I apologized, not knowing that it would be the first of so many.
"Sorry Alice, what is it that you need from me?" That always seemed to be my question to her.
What did she want?
What did she need?
It was never, hey Jasper, do you want this or that?
"I need you to help me with these decorations." She said quickly, handed me a box and was on her way. That was it? All that for some simple decorations? God, I was weaker than I thought.
I did what was asked of me and then had nothing else to do
but wait.
And finally, the moment arrived when Isabella, or Bella as
she often reminded people, arrived at our home with Edward practically glued to her side.
"It's alright, Jasper." Alice flitted to my side and patted
my arm gently. "I'm here."
I just smiled tightly. What was I supposed to say to that? She was treating me like I was six years old again.
Yes, I was very aware of the difficulties I had encountered
with my new 'lifestyle', but never in the amount of time that I had known Bella Swan, had I tried to attack her.
Though, I did, at one point have thoughts of killing the poor girl. She was a threat and I would do anything to protect my wife. Simple as that.
"You guys didn't have to do all of this."
My thoughts were cut off when I heard and smelled Bella coming towards Alice and I.
"Hey Alice…Jasper." She said, still a bit timid. Probably
because of me no doubt.
I wanted to properly wish her a happy birthday with a simple embrace, but Alice quickly tugged my arm back. Too fast for Bella to
even see it. So instead, I just nodded. But I was pissed.
Lately, I had felt like Alice had been putting me on a tighter leash, taking note of my every move.
And things just went downhill from there.
After she had received the gift from Emmett, Rose and myself (which, I still don't understand why I would be giving a gift with those two rather than with my own wife) Alice handed her another one, saying it was from her and Edward.
"Oh, shoot…" she frowned, lifting her finger up closer to
her face.
It was one little drop and yet, it was like all my senses went
into overdrive.
But, regardless of what everyone believes, I was calming
myself down at my own pace when it happened.
Who knows what Edward thought he heard or saw but next thing we all knew, he was flinging the woman he so called love more than anything over the table, causing her to fall to the ground, everything falling with her.
Again, whoever thought putting glass plates with one extremely clumsy girl and seven vampires in the same room clearly wasn't thinking straight.
In a matter of seconds, the room was suddenly filled with
the scent of Bella's blood. I knew my best bet would be to just walk out of the room quickly. I knew that I wouldn't hurt her… but I didn't want to risk it.
I took one step. One step to the right, towards the back
door, but I didn't make it very far when I was hit with five very different emotions… all of them focusing on the blood and nothing else.
I, of course, knew that Carlisle would have no reaction to
this nonsense. He just stood back, carefully waiting to see what would transpire.
I wished at that moment that I had even a fraction of the
control that he had.
And that's when I snapped. All feelings of how delectable she
would taste or how it would so easy to just kill her was all too much.
Before I knew what I was doing, it was like I became a different person.
I wasn't Jasper Hale anymore.
I was embodying those five members of my family who simultaneously decided they wanted a taste of the sweet nectar that was Bella Swan.
And that's when I lunged towards my brother. I snapped my teeth at him, trying to get him out of the way.
He was the only thing blocking me from her. And he needed to be removed.
And then, the tables turned on me. It was like all of a sudden, I was the only crazed vampire in the house and I felt myself being
pulled back forcefully.
"Let's go Jasper." It was Emmett, dragging me outside along with Rosalie by his side.
"Let go of me, Emmett…" I thrashed in his grasp but he wouldn't give up, he just held onto me tighter.
So, I just gave up and stood there, waiting for them to come to the conclusion that I was fine and this all had been a misunderstanding.
Wishful thinking.
I felt a huge wave of anger explode from inside the house
and coming towards me. I knew it was probably Edward.
But much to my shock, it wasn't him.
It was the last person I thought would be coming towards
with such hatred.
"Are you crazy?!" I heard a high pitched scream before a
hand came in contact with my face. "What the hell is wrong with you, Jasper?!" The voice kept yelling.
Focusing my gaze, I stared at my wife in confusion. She had
just slapped me. Slapped me for something that wasn't even my fault.
I suddenly was grateful that Emmett was still holding me back. Not that I would've slapped her back, she was still a woman after all.
But being treated like this was unacceptable.
I felt my nerves stretching thinner with each passing second.
I was about to open my mouth when I saw a flash of blonde hair cross the back yard and stop in front of Alice.
No words were exchanged, just another loud crack of stone
hitting stone. There were no words needed as Rosalie walked away from Alice, offering me an apologetic half smile.
Emmett instantly dropped me and ran over to his wife as the
two walked away to go somewhere.
"You…" Alice jumped up and was in front of me again. "You're
just going to let her get away with that?"
"Rosalie had every right." I sighed.
"I am your wife!"
"Exactly. And, if we weren't married, Alice, you better believe I would have hit you myself."
My face was blank; She had no idea if I was lying or not.
"How could you even think something like that?" Her face
fell. "After everything I've given you…"
Oh, that was it. That's when I snapped at her. "And what exactly is that Alice?"
"Jasper, I saved you..." she sneered.
"No. If anything, you needed me. I was that lost little puppy that you took pity on who, in one of my weakest moments, you took advantage of."
"Jasper, I..."
"No, you listen to me... I'm not a goddamn dog that needed to be kept on a chain and beaten into submission. I may not have been as perfect as all those around me, but I'm not a fucking monster." I had never, ever raised my voice like this to Alice before.
"Jasper, what are you talking about? I have never, ever kept on on this so called leash, let alone forced you to do anything you didn't want to."
"Darlin'," I gripped the top of her shoulders, forcing her to look at me. "you've forced me into everything the moment you batted those damn eyes at me...and you sure as hell know it. So stop playing the sweet and innocent card with me. Ain't gonna to work anymore."
I could feel her starting to shake beneath my touch.
"Why are you getting so upset? It's the truth. You go around, playing the saint, saying that you're the one who found me and took me in, taking all the credit for making me the person I am today... but then, when you think no one's looking, you treat me like I'm a child who's going to kill everyone in his path. You're supposed to be my wife and yet, when I tell you that I wasn't trying to hurt Bella, you should've believed me. But, no you turned on me...making me feel like this monster, when it was all of you.... "
"What are you saying?" her voice was unsteady now.
"I'm saying that all of this..." I motioned behind me towards the house. "And us... it ain't me. It never was. You're such a hypocrite, Alice. I've just been too blind to see it, until now..." She let a growl escape her lips. It was quite comical actually. I dropped my hands from her shoulders and just walked away.
"You can't do this to me Jasper!" She yelled at me but didn't follow me as I walked back into the house.
I went into our bedroom and locked the door. I knew that she wouldn't dare follow me inside.
I went into our bedroom and locked the door. I knew that she wouldn't dare follow me inside.
I stayed in that room for three days, only venturing out when it was absolutely necessary. I no longer felt like I belonged with my so called family.
I take that back. There was one person who treated me fairly normal. Esme. She never questioned, just loved unconditionally. She didn't treat me any different than her other 'children.' It was that mere fact that made me actually reconsider my decision to be done with this.
But, that afternoon, when Edward said that we would be leaving, I knew that opportunity had come knocking and I needed to answer it. As idiotic as his reasoning and logic was, I knew that if I didn't leave at that moment, I might not have another chance.
Saying goodbye would've been the proper thing for me to do.
But, besides Esme, none of them deserved my courtesy.
We had spent so much time pretending and enough was enough.
It was my time to leave. My time to get away.
When I dropped silently from the window early that morning, I never once looked back at the house as I ventured out.
Looking back would only give me glimpses of the life I was leaving behind.
And, quite frankly, I wanted no more memories.
This was my time to start over.
Jasper Hale was no more the moment I jumped.
Hell, he never was real. Just a figment of my wife's and family's imaginations.
I had spent decades hiding in the shadow of my former self.
But, as I hit the city limits, I could feel the chains being cut.
I, for the first time in a very long time, was free.
And I vowed at that moment that nothing nor no one would change me.
