*RAE'S POV*
Dear Diary,
I. Am. Freaking. Out! Finn is staying over at my house for two whole weeks, and I'm scared shitless! Is he going to be expecting sex tonight?! I don't think I'm ready for that just yet. Will he think I'm weird for not wanting sex tonight? I can hear Chloe in my head right now, "boys don't like big girls." She was right, they didn't. My Finn loved big girls! So Chloe could shove it up her arse! I just needed to get through tonight. I had no idea what to expect or anything!
I quickly closed my diary hearing the doorbell ring, shoving it under my bed, and I took a deep breath. I didn't dare look in the mirror, to see my reflection. I wasn't wearing my toothpaste coloured dressing gown - thank fucking god! Instead, I wore a pair of light purple matching pyjamas, and my hair was loose. Walking down the steps and over to the front door, I took a deep breath and opened the door, to see standing there. He smiled at me, and I stepped aside letting him in. As he stepped inside, he moved closer to me and kissed my cheek softly,
"You alright?"
I smiled instantly and I nodded,
"Yeah!" I added, a little too eagerly, but I cleared my throat. "You?"
Finn slid off his shoes and nodded,
"Yeah, I'm sound."
Smiling, I led him out of the hallway, upstairs, and then straight into my bedroom. I took a deep breath, standing in the middle of the room, as Finn walked inside. He closed the door behind him, and he set his two bags in the corner. Looking up at me, he smiled his perfect, cheeky smile, and then he shrugged out of his denim jacket,
"This tie is fucking doing my head in." He complained, loosening it and then pulling it off over his head. Throwing it on top of his jacket, he then stuffed his hands into his pockets. "So c'mon then. Let's see this supposed impressive CD collection."
Rolling my eyes, I felt all the nerves and tension fade away, as I walked over to my CD collection at the opposite end of my room, away from my bed. Finn walked to my side, a relaxed smile on his face.
*FINN'S POV*
I had made a private promise to myself, the second that I told Rae that I loved her, that this relationship wasn't about sex. And it wasn't that I didn't want to have sex with her, it was because I knew she was still a virgin. And there wasn't anything wrong with that. And as I packed my bags for the fortnight that I was going to spend at Rae's house, I could feel my nerves growing. The last time I spent the night here, was at the sexy party. Sure it was a pretty shit night throughout the party, because Rae was acting weird with me. But by the end of the night, we were both okay, and I felt myself feeling relieved. I admitted that I liked talking to her. I knew my barriers had come crashing down. Only because she'd seen me crying in her mum's bedroom. But in all honesty, I was glad that it was Rae that came to look for me. She looked after me, and talked to me. I felt so comfortable with her.
Arriving at her house, my stomach did an unexpected flop when she answered the door. Stepping inside, I stepped forward and kissed her cheek softly. We made a little bit of small talk, and then she led me upstairs to her room. I watched her walk into the middle of her room. She looked nervous. And I knew what she was thinking about - sex. Was I going to make a move on her? I decided to take it off her mind, so I could have my comfortable and loud Rae back. Making a small complain about my tie, I then joked around, asking to see her CD collection. This is gonna be good. I told myself, as she smiled and walked her to her collection. I couldn't help but smile, walking over to her side. I kept my gaze on her, as she flicked through the CDs in her hand. She held up an Oasis album, and I grinned at her,
"Still gutted you didn't come, y'know?"
She looked at me and shrugged slightly,
"I was gutted too."
"Want the same without you."
Rae smiled at me, and I returned the smile, taking hold of her hand. I. T. H. O. U. G. H. T. A. B. O. U. T. Y. O. U. N. O. N. S. T. O. P. I wrote on the palm of her hand, and then my gaze lifted up to her. She bit her lip, and I noticed her cheeks turned a crimson red. My eyes lit up at the sight, and then I leaned in, kissing her lips softly. She froze for a moment, but then she began to kiss me back softly, as I cupped her right cheek, with my left hand. With my right hand, I took the CD out of her hand, and placed it back onto where it came from; and then I took hold of her hand, entwining our fingers.
*RAE'S POV*
Oh. My. Fucking. Sexy. God! I was kissing Finn! I was actually, full on, kissing Finn. My boyfriend, Finn! His fingers entwined with one of my hands, and I felt clueless! The only other person that I had kissed, was Archie! And that was completely out of the blue! Without thinking, I used my free hand to grip his long-sleeved, white shirt. I felt Finn smile into the kiss, as he moved closer to me and he bit my lip slightly, making me gasp. I wasn't expecting it at all. As I gasped, Finn slid his tongue into my mouth. I haven't done French kissing before! My mind screamed to me. Do. Not. Panic. I coached myself. Don't start freaking out. It can't be that hard! I felt Finn massage his fondue roughly against mine, a soft moan escaping my lips. This feels like sex in my mouth! I slowly began to copy his rhythm, our tongues moving together. Just after Finn made a low groaning sound, he slowly pulled out of the kiss, both of our breathing slightly uneven. He opened his eyes, looking at me, and he smiled small at me. He looked embarrassed for some strange reason. But I didn't care. He was the most fittest, and the most gorgeous looking embarrassed boy, I had ever seen!
"Sorry." He said, and I looked at him with confusion on my face. "I-I got a little caught up in the moment." He explained, and I nodded slowly.
Our hands were still entwined, and his hand was still cupping my cheek. He smiled, as he watched me,
"I don't wanna rush into things with you, Rae. I wanna take it slow, y'know?"
I smiled at him, relief rushing through my body,
"Thanks, Finn."
He shook his head, resting his forehead lightly against mine,
"No need to thank me."
"We should sleep." Finn said quietly.
Blinking my heavy eyes slowly, I groaned in disagreement, shaking my head.
Finn grinned at me, chuckling softly,
"Rae, babe. You're exhausted. Let's sleep, yeah?"
My senses came back, as if I had slept for hours. I stared at him in shock. Holy. Fucking. Cow! Did he really just call me 'babe'?! Diary, this day is getting better and better as the hours pass! Flashing me a lopsided smile, he stood up to his feet, and then he held his hand down to me. It was exchanges like this, that made me self-conscious. Comparing my size to Finn's, was it even possible for him to lift me? Was it worth risking and embarrassing myself in front of Finn? Did I really want to ruin my night? No. Waving his hand away, I saw him roll his eyes and he held his hand down lower to me,
"C'mon, Rae. Take my hand, would ya?"
*FINN'S POV*
"C'mon, Rae. Take my hand, would ya?" I said down to her, and I watched her closely.
Her eyes lifted from my hand, and her gaze travelled up to my face. Her face was filled with shame and embarrassment. My head instantly flashed back to the time on the slide at the pool party. It wasn't that I didn't want to help her, but I didn't really know her that well back then. I didn't know what my opinion of her was. Thinking about it now, I wish it was me that helped her, and not Chop. Snapping back to reality, I rolled my eyes,
"Either you take it voluntarily, or I'll make you." I warned.
She looked at me, her face filled with complete confusion. I was teaching her a lesson. Rae moved her hand towards mine slightly, her eyes staying on my face. I raised an eyebrow at her, the silent question, what're you waiting for? added to the gesture. Reluctantly taking my hand, I pulled her up onto her feet, and then I wrapped my arms around her neck. I felt like we were back at the chippy. I wanted that moment back again. I moved my hand to begin writing again, but instead, I turned my head to face her ear,
"You're beautiful." I whispered in her ear.
Pulling out of the embrace, I saw Rae's blush, before she turned away from me and climbed into her bed. Taking a deep breath, I climbed in beside her, and we laid side by side, staring to at the ceiling.
"I liked your dress today." I admitted, looking sideways at her.
Rae smiled,
"Thanks." She said, and there was a beat of silence. "You should've seen the dress my mum was gonna make me wear. I would've looked like a fucking profiterole." She looked sideways at me, and laughed shaking her head. I joined in laughing and I kept my gaze on her,
"I wanna admit something."
"What?" She asked softly.
Sighing, I rolled onto my side to face hair. It's now or never. I told myself. Examining her features for a few silent seconds, I then exhaled slowly,
"I kissed Chloe at The Rave."
Her face dropped. She looked away from me, and back up at the ceiling. The sight made me frown,
"I-I only did it because I saw you kiss Archie." I admitted.
Rae looked back at me,
"It didn't mean anything. It was a mistake. We got caught up in the moment."
I just nodded,
"I used Chloe. I wanted you to see at first. And then after I'd done it, I hoped you hadn't."
"Well I did."
"I'm sorry, Rae. I really am."
She shook her head at me,
"Forget about it." There was a couple beats of silence, and then Rae moved her head slightly to look at him. "Finn?"
I lifted his gaze up to her face,
"Yeah?" I replied quietly, the huskiness of my voice coming out as I did.
"Are you intimidated by the fact, that I have better music taste than you?"
I stayed silent. I raised my eyebrows slowly up at Rae, as she fully turned her head to me, a cheeky smile on her face. Smiling at her, I shook my head,
"You're such a cheeky-"
Rae giggled,
"Can't handle the truth?" She asked, a small smirk playing on her lips.
"I think it's you that can't handle the truth." I replied, a smirk appearing on my lips too.
"Oh? And what truth is that then?"
I grinned at her, biting my lip slightly, and then I moved in close to her, cupping her cheek with my left hand, and kissed her softly. I loved catching her off-guard. I always felt the rush of adrenaline rise up her body, when I did. I smirked into the kiss, moving my body closer to hers, and then I slowly began to caress her cheek gently. Rae gripped hold of my white polo shirt, and I couldn't help but let out a small groan. She drove me crazy. And right in this moment, I think she realised this. Our lips moved in a quick motion, and I had to keep coaching myself, to not get carried away. We were lying in her bed, and we were both eager. Obviously at some point, I'm going to try and make a move. But no. I kept coaching myself, and surely enough, I felt in control. I moved my hand away from her cheek, brushing some of her hair away from her face, that had kaput fallen, and then I ran my fingertips down her arm slowly. I felt her shiver slightly beside me, and another smirk played on my lips. This kiss was more than just passion. This was both of us trying to prove a point. A playful point. But nonetheless, a point. As I slowly slid my tongue inside her mouth, instantly, we both began to wrestle for dominance. A move from Rae that shocked me. But I didn't stop. I wanted to win this point. And I knew that whoever pulled away first; lost. Rae's grip began to slowly loosen from my shirt, and I smirked slightly, moving closer to her.
*RAE'S POV*
Oh. My. Sweet. Holy. Ovaries. I felt as if I was going to explode at any minute! And all he was doing was wrestling his tongue inside my mouth with my own. You have no idea, how amazing this felt! His breath tasted of peppermint, and a hint of beer. Fucking god! As we wrestled our tongues together in a fast motion, I found myself beginning to get caught up in the moment. Loosening my shirt from Finn's shirt, I then slid my hand down his chest, a soft groan leaving his lips; the sound vibrating through my body. He grabbed hold of my hand, entwining our fingers together, and I knew what this meant: he was getting carried away too. Bringing our hands up, he laid them softly over his chest - over his heart. My own heart began to race faster at the touch, and I could feel Finn's doing the same. I don't know if it was because of the fact we've been kissing nonstop for for a minute, or if it was because of our hands holding. I preferred the latter explanation. I felt his thumb stroke my knuckles softly, and I felt my lungs begin to tighten. I slowly pulled away from the kiss, Finn quickly biting my bottom lip as I did, both of us opening our eyes. Our breathing was heavy and uneven, and Finn smiled at me, instantly making me smile back.
"I win." Finn murmured breathless.
I rolled my eyes and smiled, breathing heavily. He grinned at me,
"You should sleep." He cooed, breathlessly.
Nodding slowly, I snuggled closer to him, resting my forehead against his shoulder. Closing my eyes, I smiled to myself, feeling Finn kiss my forehead softly, as I drifted off into a deep slumber.
*FINN'S POV*
I had been drifted off into a deep sleep. I was sitting in the pub, and I watched Rae walk over to us,
Chloe by her side.
"Hi, Rae!" Archie beamed as she took a seat beside him, and opposite me.
I rolled my eyes and took a sip of my beer, as Rae grinned and looked at him,
"Hiya, you alright?"
He smiled at her, and he nodded. So pathetic. I thought to myself. Chop nudged me, and I quickly broke my gaze from the two of them, and I looked at him.
"You up for it then?"
"For what?" I asked.
He sighed shaking his head,
"Does no one fucking listen to me anymore?" He asked, raising his voice louder, so everyone could hear.
"What's up with you?" Chloe asked, looking at Chop.
I looked up at Rae, whose eyes were filled with concern, as she stared at Chop. I lowered my gaze to my lap, hiding my smile.
"Who is up for a proper night out this weekend? Here from 7:30!" He looked around at the gang, who were now sharing nods and shrugs to one another. "Come on, guys! It's gonna be fucking epic!"
I chuckled softly,
"Okay, okay, we'll come. Won't we?" I asked, as I raised my gaze up to Rae. Arching my eyebrow up at her, my gaze looked like I was challenging her, with my smug expression on my face. I watched her chocolate brown orbs left my gaze, and she looked at Chop, smiling, and she nodded,
"Sounds good, I'm there."
Sighing silently in relief, I lifted my glass, taking a sip to hide my smile.
The dream blurred to Saturday night. I was standing in a corner with Chop, with a pint in my hand.
"Finn, my lad. What do I do?" Chop sighed.
My gaze was on Archie and Rae. Quickly snapping out of it, I looked at him,
"I dunno, pal. Why don't you ask Archie?"
Chop nodded enthusiastically,
"Yeah! Where is that fucker?!"
I smiled at him,
"I'll go and get him for you."
"Cheers, Finn, mate."
I nodded at him, walking over to Rae and Archie. Standing beside Archie, I cleared my throat,
"Archie, mate." He stopped talking and looked at me. "Chop wants you." I nodded my head over to Chop's direction, and Archie nodded,
"Okay, thanks." He looked at Rae. "I'll be right back."
Rae nodded and smiled small,
"Okay."
She watched him walk away, and then she glanced at me, before sliding out a twenty-pence piece from her jeans pocket. Without saying a word, she walked over to the jukebox, and I watched her, taking a sip of my pint. I smiled making my way over to her. As she put the 20p into the slot, I then held onto her wrist, making her head shoot up to my direction,
"Don't you owe me a song?" I smirked at her.
Her face flushed and she remained speechless. I usually had this effect on her, and I liked it. She opened her mouth to speak, but I bet her to it,
"Remember? You took the 20p off Archie."
Rae nodded enthusiastically, and then I smirked bigger, looking down at the jukebox, guiding her had to press the four buttons. There was a pause of silence between us, and then 'Wonderwall' by Oasis filled the speakers. I heard Chop, Archie, Izzy and Chloe cheer as the song began; but it insanely faded, leaving the silence between me and Rae the only sound I could hear. I smiled down at her, and Rae retuned the smile.
""Today is gonna be the day,
That they're gonna throw it back to you
By now you should've somehow
Realised what you gotta do
I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do, about you now."
I watched her eyes light up as I sang to her, and I could practically feel her heart racing fast. Finally, I got to her. She was finally realising that I liked her. Just like I wanted her to.
