Meredith and Cristina begin walking to the car, Cristina struggling under all of Meredith's luggage.

Cristina: What in the hell did you pack in here?! Seriously?!

Meredith: That's just some of my clothes. The rest of my things should be here tomorrow.

Cristina: Seriously?!?!

Meredith: Seriously. I had to buy some new clothes because of the pregnancy. I didn't really want anyone to know.

Cristina: You so owe me a drink for this.

Meredith: I'll buy you two and you can drink for the both of us.

Cristina: Whatever.

Meredith just smiles. This is the reason she and Cristina get along so well. Cristina may have hugged Meredith, but she still gave her hell. She didn't want people feeling sorry for her and attempting to sympathize with her. They reach the car and something dawns on Meredith.

Meredith: Hey, whose car is this?

Cristina: Burke's new car.

Meredith furrows her eyebrows.

Meredith: Burke let you drive his new car?

Cristina: Well, actually Burke and I bought the car together.

Meredith: So, this car belongs to both of you?

Cristina: Yeah. Whatever. It's not a big deal. Just drop it. OK?

Meredith: OK. I'm dropping it. So, how are the wedding plans coming along?

Cristina: How's the whole telling Derek you're pregnant thing coming along?

Meredith: Point taken.

With that the two get into the car. Something suddenly dawns on Cristina.

Cristina: Hey, where am I taking you?

Meredith: Oh, I guess to my old house.

Meredith really hadn't thought about it. She hadn't spoken to the others since before prom. The only people she kept in contact with were the Chief and Cristina. Cristina puts the car into drive and drives out of the airport parking lot. The traffic is horrible as people rush to work.

Cristina: So, do they know you are coming back?

Meredith: No. Do you think they hate me?

Cristina: I don't know. Why do you care?

Meredith: Because, they are my family and I need them…all of them. I can't do this alone.

Cristina: You won't be doing this all alone. I am going to say something and if you so much as tell anyone…I will kill you…after the baby is born of course.

Meredith smiles as Cristina says this and nods in agreement.

Cristina: You are strong, you are freaking Meredith Grey. You can do this alone if you have to. But you won't have to. ..you won't have to because I will be there and Burke will be there because for some weird reason he loves me and you are my family. So it doesn't matter how other people feel about you because you are you and I am me. Individually we could each rule our own countries…but together I am sure we could raise a baby. Plus, I'm sure once McDreamy sees you he will never let you go again. He has been somewhat pitiful you know…

Cristina stops speaking as she realizes Meredith is silent. She glances over at her friend and notices that there are a few silent tears making their way down her cheeks…she starts to speak but Meredith cuts her off.

Meredith: It's the estrogen.

Cristina: Of course it is.

With that Cristina turns on the radio. The song playing is "In The Sun" by Coldplay and Michael Stipe

Meredith could no longer hold in all of the emotion she had been feeling since the morning and she started crying. Cristina pulled the car over, not saying a word. They sat there in silence, until Meredith spoke.

Meredith: I'm OK.

Cristina: You're OK.

With that Cristina pulled back onto the street, driving to the house that Meredith had not seen in over four months.

Just as Cristina pulls into the driveway Meredith takes a deep breath. She can't believe she's back. She hopes that she is strong enough for this. Cristina looks over at Meredith.

Cristina: Are you ready?

Meredith: As ready as I will ever be…besides no one is home.

Cristina: Well, I will help you take your things upstairs.

Meredith and Cristina get out of the car and take her luggage inside. Meredith sits down on the edge of the bed, Cristina sits next to her.

Cristina: So.

Meredith: So.

Cristina: Are you coming to the hospital today?

Meredith: Later. I have a meeting with the Chief at one.

Cristina: Why don't you come early and have lunch with us? It will be a surprise to everyone.

Meredith looks uneasy and Cristina notices as Meredith begins fidget with her watch.

Cristina: You have to face them eventually.

Meredith: It's not them I'm worried about.

Cristina: Oh I see. We are talking about McDreamy.

Meredith sighs and lies back on the bed, glancing at the nightstand where the photo used to sit--the photo which she now carries in her bag.

Cristina: You know you will have to see him eventually as well.

Meredith: I know, I just don't know if I'm ready. I don't know if I will ever be ready.

Cristina: What are you so afraid of Meredith?

Meredith just closes her eyes and places her hands on her head. Cristina understands that Meredith is broken and that he broke her. She also understands that although she can try to help put her person back together, he holds too many of the pieces for her to ever feel complete without him. Cristina knows these things and she understands, she would just never admit it….to anyone.

Cristina: Well, I have to get back to the hospital. I will see you at 12:30.

Meredith sighs.

Meredith: OK.

Cristina walks out, leaving Meredith alone lying on the bed. She can't believe she is back. She has to tell him she's pregnant. She's so scared and she feels so empty without him, even if she can't be with him. She knows that he is going to be a great father. She just doesn't want him to want her because she is pregnant. She wants him to want her, not just her…their baby. God, she is such a vapid narcissist and she isn't even drunk. She lays back on the bed and closes her eyes.

She was dreaming about prom when she suddenly woke up. She ran to the bathroom and emptied the contents of her stomach. This was the third morning this week that she had gotten sick. Suddenly it hit her. "Oh my God" , she thought, "No, I can't be." She pushed the ideal out of her mind. She walked back into her bedroom and looked at the clock. It read 4:30. She had to be at work in two hours. She decided to study for a while. This is what she did. Ever since she moved to Boston she had dived into her work. She functioned better this way, almost like a robot. She had never needed anyone before. She had always been alone before. She didn't know why she felt so alone now. Yeah, she did. Not being with him made her feel alone. Not having his strong, masculine arms around her, not losing herself in his amazing blue eyes, not feeling hit hot breath on her neck, not kissing his soft, demanding lips, not watching him as he operated…she forced herself from this train of thought.

You can't do this to yourself. Just forget about it. He has a wife and you have a craniotomy in a few hours.

With this Meredith went downstairs and began studying, forgetting about how alone she felt.

(1 Week Later)

She sat in the bathroom floor, her head in her hands and her face streaked with tears. What was she going to do? She couldn't do this alone, but she couldn't tell him either. He had a wife and she could not stand having to be around Addison or Addison helping to raise their child. This thought made me sick. He might leave Addison, but she didn't want him to leave Addison because she was pregnant. She wanted him to leave his wife because he wanted to be with her. She grabbed her cell phone and dialed the only person she knew she could call.

Voice: Hello?

Nothing.

Voice: Hello? Meredith, what's wrong?

Meredith: Cristina.

Cristina: Meredith, what is it?

Meredith: I'm pregnant.

Cristina: What?

Meredith: I'm pregnant.

Cristina: Do you know who the father is?

Meredith was a little hurt at this question and answered Cristina curtly.

Meredith: Of course I know who the father is.

Cristina: Well, who is it?

Meredith (quietly): It has to be Derek's.

Cristina: Are you sure?

Meredith: Of course I'm sure.

Cristina: But what about McVet?

Meredith: I never slept with Finn.

Cristina: Seriously?!

Meredith: Seriously.

Cristina: So, what are you going to do?

Meredith: I don't know.

Cristina: How far along are you?

Meredith: 8 weeks.

Cristina: Well, you still have time to decide if you want to keep it.

Silence.

Cristina: Meredith?

Meredith (crying): I don't know. I can't have an abortion. I just….I still love him and I couldn't do that to him…to our baby.

Cristina: Are you going to tell him?

Meredith: I…..I don't know. I don't want me being pregnant to be a reason for him to divorce Addison. I think I would always question if he did it because he loved me or because of the baby.

Cristina: Meredith, there is something that you need to know. I haven't told you because you told me you didn't want me to mention anything concerning him.

Meredith: What?

Cristina: He and Addison, well they are divorced. It's not finalized yet, but the papers are signed and everything. Actually, word has it around the hospital that the date on which Derek signed the papers was the night of the train wreck.

Meredith couldn't believe her ears. She took a few deeps breaths, trying to stop her head from spinning. She was more confused than ever. When she next spoke, it was in a quiet voice.

Meredith: Does he hate me?

Cristina sighed, somewhat annoyed.

Cristina: Seriously?? You think that he could ever hate you? Seriously? He has been pathetic since you left. It's sad…really.

There was a silence for a while. Finally, Meredith spoke up.

Meredith: OK, I will come back, but only after my internship is completed in a couple of months.

Cristina: It's about damn time.

Meredith: Cristina, don't tell anyone that I'm coming back or that I'm pregnant.

Cristina: You seriously have to tell me that? I kind of figured that one out on my own. I did graduate in the top of my class at Stanford.

After Meredith hung up the phone she went to get ready for work. She sighed. She could do this. She just hoped that he wasn't mad at her. At least she wouldn't have to do this alone. She would at least have her family, but deep down what she really wanted was him.

Meredith opened her eyes. She must have fallen asleep. The flight plus the pregnancy exhausted her. She looks over at the clock. It reads 12:15.

Meredith: Shit!

She rushed out of the house and to her old vehicle. She started driving towards the hospital, hoping that she didn't run into him today. She felt butterflies in her stomach and a little sick as she parked in the familiar parking lot.

Meredith sat there…frozen to her seat. It was now 12:25. Cristina would kill her is she didn't show. She slowly got out of her car. She was wearing baggy clothes, she didn't want anyone to know she was pregnant…not yet anyways. They would be able to tell when she wore scrubs. She walked through the front doors of the hospital and took a deep breath. She looked around at the regular hustle of a hospital. She headed towards the cafeteria, where she knew she would find Cristina. As she is walking up the stair she hears a familiar voice and ducks into the nearest bathroom. She can hear the conversation through the door.

Voice: That was good work Dr. Stevens. You really did your homework.

Izzie: Thank you Dr. Shepherd. I studied a lot, I was starting to think that no one noticed.

Derek: Yes, well, keep up the good work Stevens.

Derek starts to walk away and Izzie starts to go into the bathroom and runs right into the door.

Izzie: Ouch.

Meredith(quietly): Sh!t.

Derek: What's wrong Stevens?

Izzie: Something is against the bathroom door.

Derek: What? That's weird.

Izzie: Yeah, I know.

Izzie pushes on the bathroom door again, this time the door opens and she sees Meredith. Meredith has a scared look on her face and is putting her finger to her lips telling Izzie to be quiet. Izzie is shocked. Derek starts to walk towards the bathroom. Izzie glances at Meredith.

Izzie: It's OK. I got it Dr. Shepherd.

Derek: OK. Well, I will see you later.

Izzie: Bye.

Izzie enters the bathroom. Meredith is now sitting on the floor with her head in her hands.

Izzie: Meredith?

Meredith: Yeah. Thanks Izzie.

Izzie: What are you doing here?

There is a tone in Izzie's voice which hints at the anger and hurt she feels towards Meredith. Meredith notices this but decides to try to talk to her.

Meredith: I'm back.

Izzie: I see that. But why? Why did you leave in the first place? And why didn't you tell me? You told Cristina.

Meredith: It's complicated Izzie.

Izzie: Well, I'm listening.

Meredith: I can't do this right now. I have to go meet Cristina for lunch. How about we all get together tonight at Joe's and I will tell you everything.

Izzie thinks about this for a minute. She could get angry, but decides that it will be easier to just listen to Meredith's explanation.

Izzie: OK. Well, I guess we should go find everyone else.

Meredith smiles slightly and struggle to get up from the floor. Izzie helps her up and looks strangely at her.

Izzie: Are you OK? There is something different about you.

Meredith sighs.

Meredith: I'm pregnant. Please do not say anything. I will fill you in later.

Izzie just nods and the two begin walking towards the cafeteria. Meredith glances around her, looking for the face that she wants to see the most, but also the face that she doesn't want to see her. Izzie spots the others and walks up to the table.

Izzie: Hey guys, look who I found hiding out in the bathroom.

Everyone turns around to see who Izzie is talking about.

George: MEREDITH!!

Alex: Hey Mere, it's about time you came back.

Cristina: Hey, you are late.

Meredith: Hey guys, yeah I know. But I don't have time to eat, I have a meeting with the Chief in a couple of minutes.

Cristina: You should eat, it's not good for…

Izzie: your health.

Meredith shoots Cristina a threatening look and turns to thank Izzie with her eyes. Meredith sits down in an empty seat so that she can talk to everyone before she goes to her meeting.

Meredith: So, I was thinking that we could all get together at Joe's tonight and catch up. There is a lot that I need to tell you guys and I want to hear about what has been going on with all of you since I left.

All of the interns agree to meet Meredith at Joe's at 7 that night.

George: So, have you seen him yet?

Alex: Bambi, why don't you leave her alone? She just got back.

Meredith: Thanks Alex.

Just then someone walks up behind Meredith.

Voice: So, you are back. It's about time, the more suck-ups the more mocha lattes I get.

Meredith (smiling): Dr. Bailey. Yes I am back. Well, actually I have a meeting with the Chief…which I should go to now. I will see all of you guys later. Oh, and I hope you guys don't mind that I'm staying at the house.

Izzie: Why would we mind? It's your house.

Meredith walks away from the table and heads to the elevator. Just as the doors are about to open she realizes that she is late and decides to take the stairs. Just as the door to the stairwell closes the elevator doors open and out steps Dr. Derek Shepherd.

Okay...so I actually have quite a bit of this fic written...so I will probably be posting a chapter a day. I love reviews and this was my first fic that I started writing. I am currently working on four of them...which I may start posting here soon...