AP: Welcome back, here's chapter 1 of Crimson Frost!
Disclaimer: I do not own Sonic, Shadow, Tails, or any other SEGA characters. Mari, Karo, and his alien race the Darraki, do belong to me however.
I slept horribly. I had strange dreams the whole time, but they were so off and so many that when I woke up I didn't know what I had been dreaming about. I realized I was sweating and cold despite my blanket and my heart was racing. I could only remember blood and fighting from my dreams, but I wasn't the one bleeding. I was fighting sure, but not bleeding.
I looked around the livingroom and everyone was downstairs. Knuckles and Rouge sat together in his favorite chair watching tv with the volume low, Cream was snuggled between them still asleep. Amy and Sonic were asleep together on the couch, while Tails and Karo were on the floor watching tv. Knuckles was staring at me, keenly aware of the fact I was unsettled, Rouge only glanced at me, saying she saw it too. Sometimes I hated having them around, they noticed things even Sonic and Amy missed. I mean, it's not like I had jumped out of my skin when I woke up, I just sat up, completely silent and quietly freaking out.
Knuckles sighed and shook his head, giving me a look that said we'd talk later. I lay down, took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Just one month, only a single month had gone by and already things were losing a sense of sanity. It was moments like these, and they were few and far between, where I wished I'd never been made. So many of this planet's recent problems were actually my fault simply because I was alive. And then the Darraki invaded and brought our short-lived peace to an end and we were still cleaning up, still rebuilding. Now our tired quiet was being attacked and we didn't even know how or why.
The only reason we even had electricity was because we had a generator that used chaos energy from the Emeralds, which made one less thing to worry about paying for or fighting over with the humans. The Darraki really did a number on the city and I couldn't help but think our city was like America in every alien movie they ever made. Always the worst hit, always the first or only country to be invaded. Speaking of things to be fought over, I was certain we needed food soon.
"Shadow?"
I sat up at the sound of my name to see Tails. He had an angry, but apologetic expression, his ears flat and twitching.
"Yes Tails?"
He looked away from me and spoke softly. "Look, I'm really sorry about what happened earlier…"
All I could think was that this was the most insincere apology I'd ever heard from him. Besides not even looking at me, he wasn't even specific about what he was apologizing for. I got the feeling he was only saying sorry because he wanted something from me. He proved me right by what he said next.
"I want you to teach me how to fight."
That wasn't quite what I had expected, but it made sense in a way. I looked past him at Sonic's sleeping form and glanced at Knuckles who was watching carefully from the corners of his eyes. Rouge had snuggled down as if to sleep, she was petting Cream's ears gently.
"Why not ask Sonic?" I asked quietly.
"He would go too easy on me. I need someone who will actually train me, not play around half the time. Sonic wouldn't push me to my limit."
He underestimated Sonic, but that was his choice. "What about Knuckles?"
"Knuckles already agreed to help me build strength and speed and teach me to fight cooperatively. He and Rouge will also be focusing mainly on teaching Karo to fight and fly. I need to learn form, technique, and strategy. I can get that from you."
I shook my head, "why do you want to learn how to fight Tails?"
He glared at me as though I should be well aware of his reasoning. "Because I'm tired of always being on the sidelines, watching everyone else get hurt and put their lives on the line. I'm tired of being useless."
"You're not useless Tails."
"Aren't I?" y Tails shouted. The room fell to silence, with only the tv in the background. Sonic sat up to see what the problem was, confused at the sight of a fuming Tails.
"Aren't I useless? What exactly do I do besides run errands and recon? How helpful am I when it comes down to defending anything? What do I do besides fetch the Emeralds and rescue you all when you're hurt from protecting me?"
I could only stare at him silently, noticing his eyes were filling with tears. Clearly this was something he'd been thinking about for a while. I sighed and shook my head; there would be no way out of this, not without him hating me.
"Fine, I will teach you to fight."
Tails relaxed and shook his head. "I'm gonna go take a shower; I'd like to start today, if you don't mind."
I looked at the window, noticing the fading light. I'd slept most of the day away, but I was feeling well enough to do some training for him today. I shrugged and watched him walk up the stairs.
"What was that about?" Sonic asked.
"Tails wants to learn how to fight." I said.
"So he asked you? Well, I can understand that I guess, he probably thinks I won't be a good teacher."
"He underestimates you, but whatever. I'll teach him, but I'll make him regret it." I said, getting up to stretch.
"Shadow will teach Tails and Knuckles will teach Karo?" Karo asked.
The little dragon had grown in the last month, mainly in his wingspan. We'd been feeding him chaos-infused plants and it was doing wonders. We'd managed to contact Lirias and show him how Karo was growing, he was happy with it. "A little faster than normal, but I am pleased" the general had said. I nodded.
"Yes, Knuckles will teach you. Rouge will help you fly seeing as your wings are big enough now."
"Ok. Is Shadow feeling better? He isn't sleeping very well, no one is right?"
I sighed; Karo had picked up a bad habit of speaking mostly in third person. Trying to teach him proper English caused that. I didn't feel like correcting him to be less formal or answering his question. Instead I tugged on his ear, glanced at Knuckles and went outside. Karo followed me into the cold evening and watched me stretch. The wind blew harshly and I was drawn to the sound of rustling leaves and tiny waves. My weeping willow over the pond looked like a multi-armed skeleton without its leaves. It looked so lonely….
"Shadow, I'm ready when you are." Tails said from behind me.
"Give him a minute Tails." Knuckles said from behind me.
I glanced back at the two of them for a second before turning my attention back to the tree. It was not late enough in the year for all of its leaves to be gone and I took care of that tree, it couldn't be sick or infested with parasites. It was the only tree on the lawn, the only one on this side of the pond. The wind came back, howling across the lawn and setting my teeth on edge from the chill.
The branches of the tree swayed, and for a moment I thought I saw her, Maria, amongst the branches. She was staring at me, beckoning me over as she leaned against the trunk. But, I could tell it wasn't her, she didn't have on her usual blue dress, the dress she wore was white and her hair was too blond, almost white. And her eyes, I shouldn't be able to see her eyes from here, but they were crimson, like mine. Come to me Shadow, come see your death. I shook my head, hoping to clear the sight of her. Was I still so tired that I was hallucinating?
The girl smiled at me and I heard laughter in my head, it sounded like the voice in the dream I had at the kitchen table. Are you afraid of me Shadow darling? Do you hate me for pretending to be your precious Maria? I take good care of her you know; she doesn't even know she's dead. Wouldn't you like to see her?
"What's wrong Shadow?" Tails asked, coming to stand next to me.
I closed my eyes and shook my head, hoping that woman would just go away. I can't go away Shadow. I am everywhere there is life. I opened my eyes, looking straight down at the ground, afraid that if I looked up, I'd be staring into those eyes again.
"Shadow?" I felt Knuckles' strong grasp on my shoulder.
"It's nothing, just seeing ghosts."
"Mm, ghosts, scary shit huh? I bet it's by that willow." Knuckles said. Though his comment sounded like a joke, he was completely serious. There was some evidence that willows were full of energy and ghosts and spirits liked to be near them for that reason. It didn't help that I'd seen Death by the tree twice, once in dream and just now.
"Ghosts? We have ghosts? Wait…it's not a ghost is it? Is it that woman who keeps showing up in me and Cream's nightmares?"
I huffed, Death seemed to like showing up in the most inopportune places to put me on the spot. "Yes, it's Death. If she's pale with white-blond hair, red eyes, and a creepy yet beautiful voice, then yeah that's her."
"I thought she was supposed to be an angel?" Tails asked, clearly nervous.
"Death? Death is a nice spirit?" Karo said, making it as much a question as a statement.
"No one said angels are always nice and you both know spirits can be both nice and mean." I said, turning to face them. "Come on, it's time for training."
Knuckles and I trained them hard. By the time dinner was ready Tails and Karo were worn out, even Knuckles and I were sweating slightly. Tails had kept pushing for us to keep going, determined to be the best on the first day.
"Tails, you can't get strong in one day." I said a little breathlessly. This was way too early after a week of sleep deprivation to work so hard.
"I don't care, I'll work as hard as I possibly can every day until I'm stronger." He was so out of breath he couldn't even say it all at once.
Knuckles shook his head. "That won't do Tails. If you strain yourself every day then you'll just hurt yourself, not get stronger."
Tails glared at me, his eyes full of determination and rage. What had gotten in to this fox? I shook my head and backed away before turning to go into the house. I wasn't going to let him bait me, I wasn't going to get into a fight with this child. Dinner was just as quiet as breakfast, though not as tense, but there still wasn't very much eating going on.
"So, how did training go?" Sonic asked, braving the silence to make conversation.
"It seemed fine, Tails pushed himself hard. Karo did well too." I said, reaching to pet the little dragon next to me. He chirped at the praise and affection and I tossed him a bit of chicken.
"Shadow, he has his own chicken." Amy said, exasperated.
"So? He's growing, he'll be hungry in an hour anyway." I said with a shrug.
"Amy makes good chicken! Karo says thank you to Shadow." Karo said happily.
"Just say 'thank you Shadow.'" Rouge said from her place on the counter.
"Thank you Shadow, thank you Amy!" Karo squawked happily.
"You're welcome Karo." Amy said, nudging him under the table with her foot.
After that dinner went nicely, Rouge was able to keep a conversation going about fruit and Karo's soon to come flying lessons. I barely listened, but simply enjoyed the sense of normalcy and calm that had returned. Hopefully we'd all be able to sleep tonight despite our long naps.
I felt a hard nudge and turned to Knuckles, he nodded his head toward and got up, giving Sonic a "you too" look. Sonic and I looked at each, sighed and followed Knuckles into the living room and then out of the house to the porch.
"Does anyone have any idea what the fuck is up with Tails?" Knuckles started as soon as the door shut behind us.
"Not a clue." Sonic shook his head and kicked at a pebble. "I'm hoping it was just crankiness from not getting enough sleep."
"No, no he is very serious about this training and very serious about whatever he's angry about." Knuckles said, folding his arms, still facing the lawn and the tree.
I had to look again and went to the railing to see the tree better. I wasn't hallucinating, it had leaves again even though just this evening it had been stripped bare like a many armed skeleton. I shook my head again, feeling Knuckles and Sonic watching me. Knuckles, as he had several times today, was watching carefully from the corner of his eyes, I could tell without looking that Sonic was merely looking on with curiosity.
"What's up Shads?"
I shook my head. I was already the crazy one, I already had strange dreams, I wasn't ready to admit that I'd hallucinated a dead tree with the angel of death hiding under it talking to me. I chose to go back to the topic at hand, namely Tails' behavior.
"I think he genuinely is angry at me for not telling everyone about my thoughts earlier. I'm not sure why, but he's taken this personally as though I'm trying to hurt everyone."
"But that's just absurd; you've never purposefully held back information, especially not with intent to harm us."
"Because we don't all know that Sonic." I said, knowing my comment came out sharper than necessary.
Knuckles yawned and stretched hard, making him grunt as several joints cracked. "So, what are you going to do about Hecate?"
"Who?" Sonic and I asked simultaneously.
"Hecate, one of the names of Death. She's the goddess of the underworld, or queen. Also known as Persephone, Helle, Izanami, among others depending on what mythology you look at."
"Oh, well what can we do about her? She's kinda a massively powerful spirit ya know." Sonic said, shrugging.
"I agree with Sonic, what can we do? She is the angel who ends life, even the life of stars and entire planets."
Knuckles put his hand to his chin, looking thoughtful. "Well, there's said to be ways to get her away if you've caught her fancy before it's your time to die. I'd have to go look though, maybe I can find something in the records on the Island…"
"Oh come on, is Shadow really such a catch amongst billions and billions of living things in the universe? No offense Blackie."
"None taken, but I have no answer for you. Apparently I am, but I couldn't tell you why."
"Well, we'll have to let it drop for the night, we need not draw the angel's attention by talking of her. Besides, I need to start my research on Angel Island, and the rest of you need more sleep."
"Yeah, good luck with that." Sonic said tiredly. I wondered if he'd had nightmares too.
"You know Knuckles, you don't have to get involved in this. I know you have more reasons to dislike dealing with Death than the rest of us." I said, placing my hand on his shoulder.
He shrugged me off, "please Shadow, it's not like I saw any of my race die. Not in such a violent way as Maria, I have lost a lot but you have much more pain than I do. It is not so serious for me that I cannot help my friends."
I shook my head, lowering my ears. How did I deserve such a family and constantly endanger them or make life difficult? I suddenly felt tired, even after the Black Arms invaded I hadn't been so worn. Too close to death with the Darraki I guess, closer than I had ever been with the Black Arms. Hopefully with them as our allies now we could worry less about being invaded by other beings. Why did they choose here anyway?
"Well, I'm gonna take Rouge and head off to the Island, Cream, Karo and Tails are supposed to be coming with us right?"
"Why are they going there?" I asked, confused.
"Oh, that's right, you were asleep when we discussed that. We're going to at least take Cream and Karo with us in hope they can sleep without nightmares."
"I think Tails really should go with you for a night, fresh air, a good night's sleep, good quiet instead of the silence of the city in rebuilding stage. I think it could make him feel better, besides, then you don't have to go back and forth for his training." Sonic said.
I liked the idea and opened the door to go into the house. "I'll go tell everyone to pack bags and get ready to leave."
"I'll stay out here and wait." Knuckles said, going back to gazing at the lawn.
I went inside to find Cream and Tails sitting on the couch, bags next to them. Karo was sitting on the steps, seeming to be waiting for someone. Rouge came in the livingroom from the kitchen.
"Figured Knuckles would want to leave whenever he was done talking to you and Sonic, so I had them pack things. Amy is packing a bag for Karo, I'm not sure why, it's not like he wears clothes."
"Probably his toys, he has some dog toys and a stuffed animal he sleeps with. Maybe his blanket too."
"Yeah, my blanket. I like my blanket, it's warm, it tears under Karo's nails though."
"It's ok to say 'my nails' Karo. They are yours, we know who you are, you don't have to say your name all the time." Tails said from his place on the couch. I noticed he was looking at me from the corners of his eyes, but he looked away when I met his gaze.
Amy came down the stairs with a small bag, which she tossed at Karo, causing him to squeal and roll down the steps completely unharmed. I chuckled at the little dragon, he was so adorable, just a baby. One day he'd be a strong and intelligent hunter, just like his father. Would he one day lead an army to conquer planets or would he be a pacifist? Would he be a jock, an intellectual, a politician? How much influence would we have on him as a child?
"Come on Rouge, I'm ready to go." Knuckles called from outside as Sonic came through the door.
"Alright darlings, time to skedaddle." Rouge said, waving the kids up and out the door. Cream hugged me on the way past, Karo rubbed his head against my hand and I scratched under his horns. Tails didn't so much as look at me and made an effort not to even touch me. Clearly I was, in fact, his problem.
Rouge hugged me tightly and wished Amy, Sonic and I goodnight before shutting the door behind her. We all stood around watching the door for a few minutes before looking at each other, all of us tired, none of us looking forward to being in the house. I flattened my ears against my head, and just went upstairs. What was there to say?
"Goodnight Shadow." Sonic called after me.
"Goodnight both of you." I said, going into my room and shutting my door. The room was almost completely dark, a sliver of moonlight peeking through my drapes. No matter what I did they always let it just a little light, but always enough to disturb my sleep. Honestly, the light of the moon made the room look creepy and quite ghostly since the walls were pale blue and the furniture was dark. Great, just what I needed when I was being hunted by the death goddess herself, a ghost room.
I flopped on my bed, burying my face in my pillow. I could feel tears building behind my eyes. This was not becoming of the ultimate life form, in fact, it was rather pathetic. Can fight off two alien invasions, one of which was led by a giant dragon with acid spit that eats stars, but is afraid of his own dreams. And cries about it. I was really pathetic. I climbed under my covers, making sure I faced away from the bright moonlight and hoped I would sleep decently.
This dream was not comforting at all. It had to be one of those lucid dreams, where you know you're dreaming, but I've never found them to be particularly fun. This dream was full of fog, just like the one I had while dozing at the kitchen table. The mist was not extremely thick; I could see the outlines of trees and people in the distance. The park perhaps?
I heard gentle laughter. "A park Shadow? That's the best your imagination can come up with?"
The voice was familiar, and though it was gentle and beautiful, it was chilling. Hecate. She laughed again, pleased that I'd identified her and was frightened.
That cold, gentle voice drifted through the mist again. "Try again, this is no park."
"A garden?" I said nervously. Something told me it would be in my best interest to answer her questions.
"That's closer, and a wise thought you have."
Great, she could hear my thoughts.
"Oh come now Shadow. I am a spirit and you are in dream world, why should I not be able to see into your mind if I am inside it?"
The fog cleared in front of me and I saw her. Hecate sat in an ornate dark wood chair, a throne. She was taller than I expected, I guess because she had been masquerading as Maria. She was beautiful, with nearly white hair and pretty pale skin. She was shapely and dressed in a black and crimson ball gown; it had a tight laced bodice with tasteful frills on the open shoulders and the ends of her long sleeves. On her feet were knee-high boots that I can only call dominatrix style and they were also black and red. And of course those eyes, those glowing crimson eyes. I couldn't help thinking how much I resembled her and wondered if she'd done it on purpose.
"So you find me beautiful? Most see me as a wretched thing, because most think of death as horrid. Yet, you see me as beautiful; do you think death is a beautiful thing?"
"I see it as necessary, but I do not believe it to be beautiful." I had to close my eyes, those burning orbs as beautiful as lit rubies were too much to look at. They were filled with hate as well as desire, lustful, hungry.
"Do you fear me Shadow? Are you afraid of Death?" I felt Hecate's icy hand grab my chin. I closed my eyes tighter, if I opened them her face, her eyes would be there.
She was so close I could feel her breath like ice on a summer day. "Well? Does your heart tremble when I touch you? Do you fear the touch of my breath?"
I breathed deeply and let it out shakily. "Yes."
Hecate shoved me suddenly and laughed. It was so joyous, but it froze my blood. A terrible woman this was. I opened my eyes to stare at the ground, or rather the fog that hid my feet. Hecate stopped laughing abruptly and I was suddenly off the ground and in her face with her hands painfully holding me by my quills.
"I am not a terrible woman Shadow. I am a wonderful one. Maria is in no pain here, all those dead people from your father's invasion and from the Darraki's invasion are no longer in pain." Father? She must mean Black Doom. "Even the dead Darraki, the ones you killed, they are here too. I take good care of the dead."
She stroked my face tenderly, even as she gripped my quills so hard I felt they would come out in her hand. That tender touch sent my heart racing as she stared into my eyes, crimson to crimson, ruby to garnet. I almost felt like she was sucking life from me, as though she were trying to take me out of my body with her eyes, and maybe she was.
"And one day, and I will cherish that day, I will get to take care of you too."
Then she let go of me.
I practically jumped out of my skin when I woke up. My heart was racing and I was shivering hard enough that my teeth chattered, but I was sweaty, enough that my fur was slick in some places and sticking up in little spikes in others. My blankets were everywhere, I had tossed all night. Now that I was looking around, I wasn't even at the head of my bed.
I curled up into a ball and tried to slow my breathing and heart rate. That was a disturbing dream and I'd had plenty of disturbing dreams. I had to have lain there curled up like that for an hour at least before I could claim I wasn't freezing cold and had a normal heart rate. When I got out of bed I was still shaking, but I managed to get to the bathroom and take a shower almost scalding hot. It stung, but I couldn't bear the thought of any cold. I was still cold when I was finished.
I sat in the bathroom for a while, my towel over my head until the steam cleared and it started to get cold again. Someone knocked on the door softly, clearly to avoid startling me. I shook my head, my family did so much to accommodate my issues. I tried to answer but found I really couldn't, not even to mouth the words. I sighed heavily; this was a hard day ahead of me already.
"You ok Shadow?" Amy's voice barely carried through the door she was speaking so quietly. She had to have seen my room to be pushing my hearing to the limit.
I grunted a little before managing a yes and opened the door. She was in a robe and looked a lot better than she had yesterday.
"Good morning." I said hoarsely, managing a weak smile.
She smiled back at me gently, but looked down the hall at my room. I sort of looked, mainly at the door jamb. She turned back with a questioning brow. I shook my head, there was no way I could tell her that dream if I could barely say good morning. It occurred to me then that I was warm now and no longer shaking.
"You look a little better this morning, though it's obvious you didn't exactly sleep well." Amy said, looking me up and down.
I shrugged, I still couldn't quite get myself to speak yet.
"Mari will be over today, her housing situation is getting complicated. I'd rather send her to Angel Island, since our house seems to be haunted and I know you two don't exactly get along, but she needs a place and doesn't want to be in the jungle."
I gave a snort of laughter, "I can't say I blame her." My voice was still hoarse.
"Do you mind Shadow?"
I looked down at her tired face. Her eyes were completely neutral, if I said no she'd make Mari go to Angel Island and wouldn't be angry about it. I shook my head, "no Amy, I don't mind."
Amy let out a big breath, "good. Please try not to fight ok?"
She went back to her room and I went to mine to get dressed and straighten up. I tried not to think of my dream, of Hecate's cold touch or those hungry red eyes, or that fog-filled garden. I got the feeling it was only like that because I was alive and the living aren't really supposed to know what it looks like. The thought made me shudder and I began to feel cold again.
