DISCLAIMER: I do not own Harry Potter i wish i did but i don't if you know of a way i can with out going over fifty dollars be sure to contact me.
A.N. So originally this was a one shot but I'm going to make it into a bunch of one shots where Voldie gets pranked. Hope you like it – Nvoll
Mystery Messages
Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley were currently hiding in the rafters of Slytherien Hall, the meeting place for Lord Voldemort and his death eaters underneath Harry's invisibility cloak.
"You did manage to get in old Moldywarts bedroom didn't you Ron?" asked Harry
"Of course I did," said Ron
FLASHBACK
Ron was underneath Harry's invisibility cloak carefully sneaking down the halls of Slytherien castle trying to find his favourite dark lords bed room. Hmmm this looks like the room thought Ron as he looked at a pair of large mahogany doors with the inscription
Lord Voldemort
Dark Lord Supreme
Ruler of the Known
World
Order of Morgana First Class
Winner of most evil laugh,
five times running in Dark Lords Weekly
Ron placed a careful alohomora on the door and entered it was a large room bare stone walls and floors with a deep black furniture. He quickly made his way over to Voldemorts dresser, found the draw for his leading a death eater meeting robes and placed those charms Fred and George had taught him the other day.
END FLASHBACK
Down below in the hall Voldemort had arrived with his robes billowing in such a way that it could rival Severus Snapes own trade mark billowing.
"WORMTAIL" Bellowed Voldemort.
"You called master," said Wormatail as he scurried forward and kissed his masters robes before kneeling in front of his dark lord and master.
"Crucio-" Voldemort cast the spell so fast that wormtail didn't have enough time to react, admittedly you would have to give Wormatail a two weeks prior notice sent to him by owl in triplicate with half hourly reminders and even then your chances of him being prepared for being Crucio would be slim even if the dark lord casts it on him daily and you would think it would be almost a schedule by now but no of course the dim witted man was surprised once again and as such in unbearable pain as the curse did its job.
Voldemort lifted the curse "Call my followers you dim witted fool."
"Of course master," replied Wormtail as he pointed his wand at his arm calling all death eaters in a few moments and after the sound of pop corn popping subsided all death eaters were present.
"Okay Ron activate it," said Harry. Ron whipped out his wand pointed it at Voldemort and mumbled and incantation.
The death eaters were now crawling forward one by one to kiss there masters robes hem however each time one of the kissed him his robes would flash a message not that he noticed but the death eaters shore did.
Lucius kissed his hem,
My teddy is called Dark Lord Snuggles
McNair Kissed his Hem
I married a muggle stripper in Vegas
Bellatrix kissed his hem
My dad's a muggle
Avery kissed his hem
Call me Voldie Poo
The death eaters couldn't hold it in they started to uncontrollably laugh at Voldemort well maybe that's not quite right many of them were at least semi composed until Ron and Harry started using tickling hexes. And yet his robes still changed and he was getting irate.
I love Gryffindor - Slytherien sucks
I wear pink undies
Severus Snap makes me horny
I love New York
Voldemort now realized the gold glow coming off his body was not the aura of power he thought it was it was big iridescent lettering mocking him, "Finite" it did nothing if anything the messages flashed faster
Bellatrix makes me flaccid
My wand is in short order
I call Dumbledore my Sex Puppy
It was too much the dark lord was going to have a break down and his death eaters who hadn't fallen subject to a tickling hex were now laughing as hard as the ones who did it was just too much for them who cares if he can Crucio them until the meet the Longbottoms it was just downright hilarious.
"Who did this?" Yelled an irate Voldemort who was twitching violently with rage. "I DEMAND TO KNOW WHO DID THIS!" no one answered him they were still laughing and laughing seemed to have this weird effect where it cancelled out any pain caused by the cruciatus curse so his torture methods just didn't work.
Voldemort was now screaming like a toddler demanding candy from his mummy stamping and flaying his arms and feet around. "TELL ME NOW!" he yelled again but it went unnoticed everyone was laughing at him.
"I HATE YOU ALL! I HOPE YOU ALL DIE" and he ran out of the room balling his eyes out with yells like "I'm coming Mr. Dark Lord Snuggles" and such.
Harry and Ron recovered enough to send out a final farewell to Voldemort
WITH LOTS OF LOVE RONALD WEASLEY AND HARRY POTTER
For similar pranks head down to Weasleys Wizards Wheezes Diagon Alley
Ron and Harry then Apparated away to the relative safety of the burrow in the following weeks Weasleys Wizards Wheezes was inundated with owl orders from death eaters for similar pranks Fred and George were so happy they had to set up an entire new division especially for Dark Lords and Death Eaters it was a booming success much to the detriment of Voldemort.
