Disclaimer: Same as chapter 1!
A/N: Ohhh! This has got to be my favourite chapter(me and my mini-angst fest). Although the first chapter was by far the most fun to write! Also thanks SOOOOOOOO much to the people who reviewed the first chapters! I've gotten such a good response I almost can't believe it. The interesting thing was how amusing you found chapter one to be; I had several reports of falling off chairs, laughter, etc….
By all means people, keep falling out of your chairs!!! This chapter is not as funny though….:(
Also BIG thankyous to oneillroxmyworld, Aingeal, Waddles52 and Riverstar! waves
Previously, on Stargate Sg-1….
- O -o-o-o-
"Can I go see her?" Janet shot Jack a disapproving look before her expression changed and he spoke to him softly, knowing he would be affected the most by what she had to say.
"Jack… you might want to sit down. What I'm going to tell you…"
"Oh God…" Jack buried his head in his hands.
- O -
CHAPTER 2
-
"I'm sorry Jack…."
Jack suddenly got up, feeling the need to leave the room. He couldn't stand the tension anymore, he couldn't stand Janet's gently way of giving him new that he didn't want to hear, when he should have appreciated it the most. But most of all, O'Neill couldn't bare to hear that his Carter, 2IC, his Samantha, whatever she was to him, in anyway whatsoever, was dead.
She was vibrant, eager and brilliant, as well as stubborn in a way that no other person on Earth could match. She was beautiful and kind, with plenty of fire not willing to back down in any situation. Oh great, I'm thinking of her in the past tense already, and as well I should. O'Neill thought bitterly.
A great warrior in battle, equal to any man, as she had proven early in the existence of SG-1, Carter had been a faithful friend and teamate, who would not have ever left him behind had he ordered her to. The hardships and pains she had endured had shaped Samantha Carter to whom she was today.
Had it no been for her, he would have long since been dead. He may have still been stuck on Endora or some other God forsaken planet, for that matter. Worse still, a Go'auld host.
As he wandered around the quieter hallways of the SGC, Jack found himself realizing that he had never he had never really appreciated the meaning that Sam brought into his life. Daniel he'd thought about many times, even Teal'c to some degree, but he had never really thought of Carter that way. He'd come to terms with his feelings towards her, but that was about it.
She was always there to annoy him with some long strand of technobabble, as he liked to call it, or try to stop him from playing her gadgets. In fact, he rather liked that about her, and it didn't annoy him nearly as much as he let on, he actually found it quite endearing in a way.
If it weren't for some of her security systems on off world missions, they would have been toasted… many times over. Hell, without her help and knowledge regarding the three supercomputers, the Stargate Program wouldn't even be what it is today.
She was the reason he got up every morning.
That was Carter, though, not Sam. In truth, whether it was in some random fantasy or drifting daydreams. She would always be his Sam. He was Jack, she was Sam and there were no regs. No matter how much he called her Carter, she really was still Sam. And only in situations where he could either get some humour in the situation to his advantage or it was some important event that would affect them forever, did he use her first name.
It was ironic really, the one woman he wanted most was the one that he couldn't have. Unless he gave up all hat he had worked for and all that he'd known for most of his life. Right now, his biggest regret was not telling, he wouldn't get another chance now. She was gone, and unlike Daniel, she wasn't coming back.
Jack had been married, but that was years ago. He'd often found himself comparing Sara and most other females with Sam. It was unfair, but that was what he did. (a/n: I don't have anythign against Daniel....I love him, but that's the way Jack see's it.)
He'd loved Sara, yes, and probably still did to some degree, but theirs had been more friendship and settling down, and he'd enjoyed her company. With his 2IC, it was different. There was a deep friendship and the mutual respect for each other as was shared by all of SG-1 but if one looked beyond that, the surface of an onion of tension would appear. Layers and layers could be removed and you would still be no closer to the core.
Jack scanned his prints into he biometric lock on Sam's door. Everything was high tech on the base, thanks largely to her. All of SG-1 had access to each other's labs, offices and quarters, it was just part of the huge amount of trust that the team put in each other.
He and Samantha shared something deep, the things that they'd seen, done and experienced. Joliniar. Endora. Prometheus, countless sarcophagus visits. Their experiences together changed things, whether it was because they were both Human or only military people on SG-1, he didn't know. He felt more duty bound not to leave a man, or a woman for that matter, behind when it came to Carter.
O' Neill wondered when it would all end, when he could stop having to put his butt on the line to protect her on a day-to-day basis, not that he minded of course. He'd rather be with the team off world, out in the field or whatever, than fishing everyday in a lake with no fish.
Jack circled the room, noticing the various personal effects that Sam had. He sat on her bed and picked up a framed photo of them together. There were many of SG-1 on her dresser, in her lab and on her bedside table. There was Teal'c learning to smile, paintball, the beach, a day with F-15's and F-14s with the rest of the team and a JAG pilot and ones with the Stargate, which obviously had to stay on the base.
But there were quite a number of ones of Sam and Jack, alone, in fact most of the images of Sam and one other person, were of them. A particular one had caught his eye, one that that had been taken at The White House. He was decked out in full Air Force dress Uniform for the occasion, but Carter had been wearing a stunning, dark-blue strapless dress that hugged her slender figure at the top and fell softly to cover her feet. Her back had been straight but flexible the whole time, and her posture commanded respect and attention. The President, their Chief-in-Command, the ruler of the Free World and a married man, had been drooling.
Remembering back to that day, Jack couldn't remember any other time she had looked as good. The blue in the dress emphasized her eyes… and the dress didn't really leave much to the imagina…. Jack stopped his thought abruptly to turn back to the photos.
The colonel sat down on the bed, making it sag down to accommodate its new load. He picked up another photo. One of the three times that SG-1 had ever been up to Jack's cabin together.
Jack had tackled Carter for a comment she had made about something or other, and had ended up draped over her, with one elbow on the ground holding his chin. He noticed that while Teal'c had been inexperienced with the camera (thus the partial thumb on the bottom of the picture), he had still been able to capture all the emotions going through them. He could remember gazing at her in an almost loving manner and how she had touched his cheek in attempts to remove the dirt that had gotten there during their fall.
I was going to kiss her when Teal'c snapped the photo. Jack thought, not that he blamed Teal'c, he was probably better off that he'd been foiled. Court Martials were nasty little buggers.
O' Neill turned his body so that he was under the covers, and let her smell surround him and it almost undid him. In a way, this was worse than loosing Daniel. At least he knew now that he could live without Daniel (it was a ridiculously unfair observation), albeit not very well, but he'd done it, but it had been near impossible.
Every time he had been asleep he would see Daniel, as would the rest of the team, but O'Neill didn't know that, and he certainly wasn't going to tell them that he saw Daniel. Jack thanked god, Thor's god day everyone else's god (Except Apophis but he wasn't really a god, just an ass), still everyday. But to loose Sam, was just unthinkable.
He knew he should probably listen to what Janet had to day. A touch of hope flared up in his heart at the possibility that she wasn't dead and maybe even reciprocated his feelings. Then as quick as it had come, it was replaced by the coldness of reality and the fact that she was in fact, dead. It would take a lot of getting used to.
Still I wonder why Janet had wanted me to sit down; surely she doesn't suspect there's more going on between us than…
Jack never finished his thought; he was too old and tired to stay awake. As his eyes closed, silent tears rolled down his cheeks, just moments before his brain settled into subconsciousness. He'd managed to look at the picture in his hand one last time before he let sleep consume him.
- O -
Janet's Office
--
"I'm worried about him Janet," Daniel confessed quietly to both Janet and Teal'c after he'd gone to check on Jack. "It's like he's blaming himself already, and it's not his fault at all…as usual. When I found him in Sam's quarters…."
"He was in Sam's room?" Janet blurted out. "I mean I suppose it makes sense. But Sam is..."
"Yeah, he was fast asleep in her bed. He didn't even notice when I walked in, and you know how those damn biometric locks beep when your scan your prints in. He didn't even stir. And I do not know Jack to be a light sleeper, especially when he's tense, and he's… definitely tense." Daniel said. " He was holding a framed photo I his hand, of him and Sam. Anyway, he wouldn't let go hen I tired to put it on the bedside table, he just mumbled something. I didn't notice he'd been crying though."
"Jack!?! Are we talking about the same Jack O' Neil here. The one in the Air Force, owns a cabin by a lake that has no fish and has greyish hair he insists is silver?"
"I believe it is possible that Colonel O' Neill has wanted to pursue a further relationship with Major Carter for sometime now. Or that one may already exist, but there are things such as regulations that forbid them from having so, especially in the same chain of command."
"Teal'c, Daniel…"
"Yeah, we all noticed that. He really loves here. And he didn't even get to tell her…"
"Well, how do you think he'd respond I told him he might get another chance?"
Daniel fell off his chair and crashed to the ground, while the eyebrows on Teal'c' head would have disappeared into a non- existent hairline.
"What!?!"
"Jack never let me finish, nor did you let me tell you. Sam is not dead. She's in a comatose state though; she's showing signs of serious brain damage and it doesn't look like she even wants to wake up. Right now, her heart rate and brain activity are ceasing rapidly, it's only a matter of time, and her survival rate is extremely slim to none. I'm not sure whether I mentioned this, but the creature that bit Sam was an alien. It came from P3X-596.
" Ahh… the plant NEXT to P3X-595, with all those weird substances." Daniel mused.
"A race of humans that call themselves the S/J shippers, I believe." Teal'c commented. "They possess wonderful imaginations, in fact many explorers believe that they exist among the Tau'ri. They have many wonderful creatures."
" I was able to get some information form a guide that the Tok'ra gave us. The Samhasawormus Namedcolonelius kills twice as fast as blue ringed octopus. That's about eight or so minutes. Sam was bitten twice, once near her carotid, so it was lucky that she was here within the time she did, thirty seconds later, she may not have made it."
The group fell into a silent spell, two in shock and registering the new information the other still reeling from the events. There had always been a possibility that Sam would get killed in battle, in the line of duty by an alien off world. But it had never occurred to SG-1 hat it might occur on her home planet. It seemed ironic in a weird way, how even though she faced many dangers off world and came back unscathed, she could die on her home planet. They'd always thought that because she spent so much time off world, that her chances of dying would be smaller than off-world.
"How did the thing get here?"
"I believe it came from something high in Iron and possibly Sodium. Enough to conduct electricity."
"Then it could have been the potato like machine that she and O'Neill touched." Teal'c interrupted, something that he seldom did.
"Yes."
Another uncomfortable silence passed between the trio before Daniel stood and spoke. " I guess I'd better tell Jack then."
"I shall accompany you Daniel Jackson."
"No." Janet said suddenly as the two were about the open her office door. "Bring him here I have something he may need to know"
The two men nodded and left the room in higher spirits than they had entered.
- O -
Daniel and Teal'c stopped outside of Carter's door, deciding how to approach their friend.
"What are we going to say?" Daniel asked, staring at the door.
"I believe it would be best to allow Doctor Fraiser to explain, after all she has had more experience than we have had."
"And when exactly are we planning to go inside?" A loud bang of metal against concrete, accompanied by the shattering of glass sounded.
"I believe about now would be ideal, Daniel Jackson." And the two outside the door hurriedly scanned and rushed through. The sight that they were met with truly shocked them. Jack was sitting up in the bed, having woken up from the worst dream he could remember. The remains of a glass of water making its way down a wall. Daniel's eyes followed the trail, until he saw a mangled alarm clock settled amongst the slivers of glass.
"O'Neill, are you alright?" Teal'c asked concerned.
"She's dead." Jack whispered in a voice devoid of any emotion, "She's dead, and I'll never get to see her again. Never be able to tell her how much I loved her."
Daniel and Teal'c were both very surprised at this admission from a normally very private Jack O' Neill, but they thought it best to get him up to Janet as quickly as possible. The longer they let him depress himself, the longer it would take to get through to him the information that Janet had for them.
"Jack. Please, we need to get you to the infirmary. Janet has something she needs to tell us. And it's not going to happen if you stay in this dump. Boy, is Sam going to kick your ass."
"Haven't you heard, Daniel?" Jack said in that same dead tone. He looked at the photos around him and it hit him again how much he was missing her already. "Saman…" Je managed to choke out part of her name before tears built and made him pause. "Sam is dead, and it was my fault. It was all because of me, I shouldn't have flicked the stupid…"
"O' Neill!" Teal'c thundered in a voice that made Jack look up instantly and Daniel wince. "It was not your fault. And if you will come with us see Dr. Fraiser, we can clear this thing up and you will see that everything is not as it seems to you right now." He concluded cryptically.
"No, T. I'm not going..."
Daniel knew what he was going to say, and cut him off, just as effectively as Teal'c had. "Colonel Jack O'Neill. An order has been given the Chief Medical Officer of this base. And when it concerns health matters, you are expected to obey. Now get your skinny ass out of Sam's bed and out the door, or we'll be forced to use force… excessive force."
"Fine. I guess." Jack said reluctantly, the fire returning to his eyes to get to the bottom of the matter, as what Teal'c had said had piqued his curiosity.
He got up and pulled on his boots and followed his teammates out of the room, head down and looking absolutely miserable. He was so preoccupied in his thoughts that he didn't even notice that he'd walked straight into the elevator doors.
"Ouch! Aww…. Crap. Was this thing always here?"
"Do you know how hard it is to move a chute that is a couple of thousand feet long?" Daniel asked as they rode the elevator to Janet's level. Jack was uncharacteristically quiet, remembering the day's events and barely noticed when the carriage stopped; Teal'c half dragged him to the infirmary.
- O -
"Hey Jack. How are you holding up?" Janet asked concerned once they were all in Janet's office. Jack's dishevelled appearance of one of stress and devastation and the doctor didn't like it.
"Peachy."
Janet had to smile at that. "Daniel, Teal'c would you please excuse us for a moment?"
The two nodded and left the room to wait outside.
"Jack. You want the long story or short sentence."
"Sentence will do. What does it matter?" Jack mumbled, looking away. He couldn't believe that Teal'c and Daniel had dragged him to see Janet; it was so hard to deal with it so soon. He felt the tears threaten to come on again, never had he felt like crying so many times within such a short period of time. But this is Sam we're talking about. It's to be assumed. Jack thought.
"Sam isn't dead, Jack."
"She's not?" He didn't believe Doctor Fraiser; he was still talking to her in the same dead manner that he'd been everyone else.
"JONOTHAN O'NEILL! Your GIRLFRIEND is not dead!"
"For cryin' out loud, Doc!" Jack snapped, but Janet took no notice. She was just happy to see any emotion at all, if not thrilled to see hope in his eyes. "She's not my 'GIRLFRIEND' she's just my 2IC! And I really didn't appreciate you broadcasting your suspicions through the infirmary!"
'
Janet decided to gently get the information she needed, no need to smash him into smaller pieces than he already was. "Tell me Jack. What bothers you more: the fact that that she's not your girlfriend, you love her and she doesn't know how you feel. Or you really don't have feelings for her and everyone thinks you do. "
"She didn't know." Jack corrected, quietly, and Janet had to roll her eyes. How stubborn is this man! He's STILL using past tense! She fumed inside her head.
"Well, what are you going to do about it?"
"I don't know." As many times as Janet had heard her friend use that phrase, never had she heard such resignation and devastation rolled into three words without effort and it upset her greatly, although she did not show it. She say Teal'c and Daniel return and motioned for them to follow her.
"Well, I do. And you're coming with me Colonel." She grabbed his arm and dragged him out of the room. "If this is what it takes for you to believe me, then so be it."
The petite doctor continued down a hallway, ignoring all three men trailing behind her; one being dragged the other two walking and pushing. She stopped outside a private room that had an observation glass on one side of it. Without saying another word opened the door and pushed the leader of SG-1.
She led the other two to the observation room and spoke through he intercom. "I'm not letting you out of there until you believe what I've told you."
"Is that such a good idea, Doctor Fraiser?" Teal'c asked quietly. He wasn't questioning her judgements, just the risks. "O' Neill is very unstable right now."
"Once he realises that that's Sam in that bed, he'll do everything to help her. And it may just save her life." Janet replied. The three remained silent for a while as they watched the scene before them unfold.
- O -
Jack scowled at the recently closed door and resisted the temptation to kick it. The only reason he refrained was the fact that he didn't have it left in him, not emotionally anyway. He looked around and all he could see was a boring, stark white hospital setting. He re-wound his mind back a few minutes.
O' Neill scratched his chin and concentrated harder. Then he remembered. He remembered Janet telling him that Sam wasn't dead, calling her his 'girlfriend' and asking about his feelings for his 2IC. He remembered being dragged to this room and thrown in.
He shook his head briskly. No that can't be it. Sam's dead. O' Neill thought, then he caught sight of a figure on the bed, a blonde figure."This isn't funny, Doc." he yelled out.
It can't be Sam. He walked close to the bed and took in her features. Oh my God! It is Sam. But how… she…
Jack slumped into a chair as many emotions took over him. He felt the relief and happiness wash over him, as a large grin found it's way onto his lips. He even let the love he had for her bubble to the surface. As he got up from his chair to stand by her bedside, he silently thanked every god in the galaxy. Thor's god, the Furlings, Nox… everyone… hell he even thanked the Tok'ra, which in itself was a rare occurrence.
As he moved to the head of the bed, she got another glimpse of her face. It was pale and tense, as if she were fighting something and it was draining away what was left in her. He touched her hand in hopes of waking her, not knowing her dire situation. It did nothing, but Jack felt amazed when the tenseness was replaced by a softer expression and her heart rate picked up a bit as did her brain activity.
He debated between leaning over to kiss her, and finally his heart won out. He leaned down and kissed her gently on the forehead and touched her cheek softly before he turned to the one- way observation glass and scowled.
"Alright. You've proved your point. Now get me the hell out of here, Fraiser!" He said to it. The people behind the glass all grinned at each other and left the room of surveillance.
- O -
"Jack, there are two other things I need to tell you." Janet told him while Teal'c and Daniel had gone to get coffee for everyone, leaving them to discuss other matters.
"Yeah…." Jack prompted in his usual manner.
"Uh… well. This is kind of hard, but Sam's on life support and we aren't expecting her to wake. Her brain and heart activity have slowed significantly and are still doing so, save for when you were with her a little while ago. She's showed signs of serious brain damage. She might no even be able to talk or remember. Alien creatures do that sometimes."
"What are her chances?" Jack gulped, his voice barely a whisper.
"Very slim to nothing." Janet waited for that to sink in. Jack was battling to keep his emotions under wraps but in the company of a very observant doctor, it was a little hard.
"You said there were two things?" He croaked out when he regained his ability to speak.
"Yes. Shortly after the SG units were formed, and members of your team were made permanent, a week infact, Sam changed her next of kin from her father to you. And between you and me, I'll let you interprets this, but it was before her father met Selmak. She put a huge amount of trust in you." Janet paused again. Jack didn't move or speak.
" You being next of kin, means, that it's your decision when the Life Support gets turned off. I've contacted Jacob Carter already, and he's on his way back, but you may want to be prepared to for any argument he throws your way, regarding you position to make decisions for her."
Jack was still motionless and quiet, barely blinking. Frankly, Janet couldn't blame him, I seemed today that he'd been to hell, and back again and back to hell was right now halfway back to Earth. As Daniel came tripping over the threshold of the door, slurping his cup of copy as if he'd not had one for years, (luckily, Teal'c was holding the rest of the hot beverages); Jack turned to Janet and said. "Give us a few days."
Janet smiled and squeezed his hand in support before they went to collect their coffees.
- O -
Don't worry! As long as I get the reviews, Chapter three will soon follow! Thanks again to everyone who too the time to review the first chapter, it was very much appreciated! I hope you didn't hurt yourselves falling out of your chairs (not that this chapter was very funny).
I'm so sorry for making you guys wait this long! Next one will be up sooner…I promise!
