Hey there~ Thank you to the people who have followed the series, I hope not to disappoint!

Hawke: Lotus (Mage) Act II

This one's more angsty then fluff, it's more like...angsty-fluff.

Happy reading~!


"I wish you'd stop going to the Gallows, Hawke." I heard the words uttered from behind me in a low voice, and I stood up from my desk, glancing around the empty room until I saw the lithe figure that slowly stalked out of the shadows to greet me. I stayed by my desk with my hands on my hips as Fenris walked out of the foyer of my estate to stand in front of the fire with my mabari, facing me, but his gaze turned to look at the flames, as if he hadn't said anything.

"What?" I said, as if I hadn't heard. He sharply turned his gaze towards me, his green eyes flashing in...annoyance? Frustration? Sadness? I still found it hard to tell. I noticed Bodhan anxiously exit the room, pulling Sandal along with him. I didn't stop them.

"You heard me, Hawke." He retorted harshly, before biting back his words and continuing in a less threatening tone. "Meredith doesn't need any more reasons to take you away. The only things holding her back is the nobles and your title of Champion. Even then, do one thing she doesn't like and she'll be on you in an instant, cleaving through the nobility if she has to." His tone changing back into a growl, as it had the tendency to do when he was getting emotional. Whether he was sad, angry, even when he was happy. Growl growl growl. Like a wolf. Or like a very scary bear.

Wait, no. Probably not a good idea to mock him when he's angry with me. I sighed and crossed my arms, joining him in front of the fire. Cornelius, my mabari, huffed and snorted from between us as his spot on the rug became threatened by our presence. He sneezed rather noisily before heaving himself up, dragging himself to the other side of the fire, and flopping back down again. I watched him relocate, but Fenris never took his eyes off me. I took a deep breath.

"I can't stop going altogether. I do jobs for the Templars, remember?" Before I could continue he interrupted.

"But do you have to go alone? Like today? You could've at least taken Varric or Isabela, the Hanged man is on the way to the docks."

"I wasn't even on a mission today, Fenris. I was simply delivering supplies for Solivitus. Nothing ground breaking." He scowled. I refused to look him in the eye. He was being unreasonable.

"It was evening. The store owners were packing up, shoppers are gone, the only people left are mages and Templars, neither of whom I trust. Which of the tranquil would protect you, should a rogue Templar decide to exact revenge?" I met his gaze and returned the sour look he was giving me.

"Don't be ridiculous! Cullen's always there, and Thrask and Emeric. Need I go on? I've helped them. Meredith knows I've been helping the Templars..."

"She might also know that you haven't always "helped" in the appropriate ways! What are they going to do when it comes down a conflict? Thrask had you help a group of...of blood mages escape, and Emeric has been reprimanded for sending guards on a wild goose chase! Neither of them are going to be of any use to you, especially if their own positions come into question." I threw my hands in irritation before starting to pace back and forth in front of the fire.

"Fine! Cullen, then. He's the Knight-Captain, and for good reason. He has no reason to believe I need locking up."

"That's right, Knight-Captain, which means he'll do what Meredith tells him." he snapped in response, turning to watch me pace, his arms now crossed across his chest. "You're confident to the point of arrogance, Hawke! You're reckless with your freedom!" I stopped and slowly turned around to face him. His words took some time to sink in. I could tell by his pained expression that he hadn't meant to say that, well, not out loud at any rate.

"You think..." I started, the weakness in my own voice startling me a little. He shook his head, like he was trying to rid himself of weakening thoughts and interrupted once again.

"Besides, it's the not the "locking up" that I'm afraid of Hawke, you'd get out. Somehow you would, because you're Hawke, Kirkwall's undefeatable Champion." He paused for a moment, glanced at me with his apple green eyes. Their depths froze me for what felt like an age, but then he returned to staring at the floor before continuing. "That's not what I'm afraid of. Meredith's seen your power; she knows that you're a threat to her position. She wouldn't be satisfied with just locking you up." As he spoke I took some tentative steps in his direction. "She'd make you tranquil, Lotus. And that's not something I can save you from. That's not something anyone can save you from." He was looking at the fire, the harshness gone from his voice, now he sounded bitter and remorseful.

"Fenris..." I whispered. He's...worried? I've been making him worried? I hadn't even considered it. I just presumed that after he left he'd...not care anymore. I don't know what I thought. Maybe I've been doing this on purpose, to provoke him. "Oh maker, I'm so sor-" I started but once again he cut me off.

"Stop." He snarled as he grabbed my right hand 's wrist, I didn't even realise I'd begun reaching for him. His eyes were dark, shadowed by his fringe hanging over them. His upper lip was sneering, revealing unusually sharp canine teeth. Instinctively I tried to take a step back, we were suddenly way too close, his grip on my wrist tight, too tight. I had upset him. I'm Hawke, he's Fenris. I know him. I know damn well what kind of person he is, that he gets angry easily, especially when it involves me. This was my fault. My vision started getting fuzzy.

Oh Maker, please, not now. I don't cry. I just don't. No matter what happens. I. Don't. Cry.

I couldn't even see anymore, the tears were there but they refused to leave my eyes. I dared not blink for fear of them spilling over. I must've looked pathetic.

"I'm sorry-" I managed to squeak out before he yanked my hand so hard that I stumbled into him, and his free hand took a fistful of my hair, pulling my head forward and shoving my lips onto his. My immediate reaction was to close my eyes, the stubborn tears finally running down my face. It mustn't have only hurt me, because he grunted in pain, and then just as suddenly as he'd pulled me in, he drew away. His grip softened, like he had surprised himself. He let go of my hair and my wrist and instead wrapped his arms around my waist protectively, this time gently holding me like one would a child. He had his face nuzzled into my neck, and I could swear his shoulders were jerking slightly. I sighed. This wasn't the first time something like this had happened. Emotions like these were new to him. That's why he always sounded angry, because anger was familiar. He knew how to be angry. I wrapped my arms around his neck, placing my left hand gently on the back of his head, running my fingers through his hair.

"Shh, it's alright. I know you didn't mean to do that." I whispered softly into his ear. He took a shuddering breath and a step back, to look at me. He frowned.

"How...how can you be so forgiving Hawke? That...was completely inappropriate, you have every right to push me away..." He struggled to talk over the raging conflict was going on behind his eyes. I knew part of him wanted to run away, part of him wanted to be comforted and another part just wanted to say 'I'm sorry'. I shook my head.

"What can we do about that?" he gave me a confused look. "About the Gallows? How about this? I... promise I won't go there unless you're with me?"

"You don't have to do tha-." He started but this time I cut him off.

"Yes, I do. You've made a good point. A few...good points. And besides, if you leave without us making a decision, this will have all been for nothing. You'll continue to worry, and I'll continue...to be reckless with my freedom." We disentangled ourselves from each other and Fenris looked so forlorn that I wanted to hug him again, but I refrained.

"I didn't..." He began.

"Are you happy with that decision?" I crossed my arms, the tears gone and I was back to my usual, not-blubbering self. He cocked his head to one side, staring at me quizzically.

"I, yes. Yes, I suppose I am."

"Then we needn't speak of...this...until you're ready." As I said 'this' I'd gestured to the room around us. 'This' had become code between us meaning our "relationship" on the whole. I'd made it obvious I wasn't going to move on to anyone else, that I was going to wait for him, and he was just going to have to live with that. He gave me a lop-sided smile and a comfortable silence ensued for a few seconds, before Orana came in from the kitchen.

"Oh, I'm sorry Mistress! Should I put this to the side...?" She said, holding a tray of sliced meat and steaming vegetables. There was clearly enough for two people. I rolled my eyes. Bohdan, I thought, mentally reprimanding the absent dwarf.

"No, that's fine Orana. Right on time, in fact. Come on, Fenris."

"What? I, uh, I mean-."

"Oh, be a good guest and stay for dinner." He snorted in response.

"As you say, Hawke."


Hello again~ In my headcanon, my mage's Fenris is a little more protective than warrior or rogue Hawke's Fenris. I hope that makes sense. I also hope that it didn't seem to OOC.

I believe I forgot to mention that the first chapter's Hawke, (Sparrow), was my warrior, so now I've just gotta introduce you to my rogue~

Oh and don't forget, I'm always willing to accept prompts. My life's a little boring at the moment. Anyway, I'll shut up now. Thank you for reading~!