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Dear Mom and Dad,

I'm writing to inform you that I plan on suing you for every cent you own! So, I tried to come home while they were filming season 4 only to find out that you moved! I found that out from the lovely real estate agent that asked me if I wanted to see the house! So, I had to hire a private investigator to track down your new house! Yes, I know where you live and you better believe I'm taking you to court! This has got to be some form of child abandonment! I'm 16 years old and you left me on an island and told me not to come back until I actually won the million which apparently you were serious!

So, aside from that, I'd like to tell you that I'm not dating anyone now because Duncan is a lowlife scumbag! He broke my heart! I'm looking into suing for that! My lawyers say I don't have a good case on that one. Duncan is a horrible person with a criminal record and I'm so glad you never had to meet him! I think Chris wanted him to knock me up or something for ratings!

Anyway, I'm going to tell you about this hell that I'm forced to live at that I currently call 'Home' since you guys all moved and didn't bother to tell me! Let's start off with the fact that the food really sucks and Chef Hatchet did NOT pass the health inspection! There are roaches all over the kitchen in this stupid Playa Des Loser! The beds are horrible and I haven't been able to get a decent sleep since I got here! Everyone else here is an idiot and my room is right next to Gwen's, Which I'm SO over that! Do I care that I can hear Duncan and Gwen having sex next door?! No way! They can do whatever they want! I'll just continue to pound on the walls and scream at them while they do it! I mean, Seriously! Who does he think he is?! I swear Duncan does it on purpose just to make me jealous! I mean I'm obviously not! Why would anyone be jealous of that green haired freak?!

I'm into a few guys around here that I know Daddy wouldn't approve of, But if you ever invite me back to this new house you got I would love to bring one of them to meet you! His name is Alejandro and he likes Heather but I can easily change that, He also loves money which I have tons of! Well...You guys have tons of! But when you finally accept me back into the family, I'm sure he would dump her and date me, I'm so much prettier than her! How could he say no? I'm like a full package deal and I'm a CIT! who wouldn't want to date me?! Duncan doesn't know what he gave up! Alejandro doesn't know what he could have!

I'm wondering if I could sue half of the people on this show, They all cheat! That's pathetic! They're all Pathetic! Heather has made it so far in every season! I'm about 95% sure she's sleeping with Chris! If it works for her, Maybe I should give it a shot! I'll just pretend he's Duncan or Johnny Depp!

I promise you, I will be on the 5th season! Chris just didn't ask me yet! He asked Heather though! I'm sure he's going to ask me soon! If he doesn't I can think of at least 4 things that I can sue him for! Mom and Dad I know you're both Lawyers and you don't want to look bad, So please don't make me sue you! SEND ME A HOUSE KEY! IF MY STUFF ISN'T IN THIS NEW HOUSE OF YOURS, I'M SUING YOU FOR EVERYTHING YOU OWN! I WILL SHOW YOU NO MERCY! I'M A WINNER! YOU BETTER GET THAT THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULL, DAD!

So, Seriously...Make me a copy of the house key and please inform me the next time you move unless you want to be sued for child endangerment! You know I can do it, mom! You left me with some perverted old man for years! You made me feel like a loser! I will win! and when I do, you assholes aren't getting one single cent of my prize money!

Much love,

Courtney