Notes: Thanks for taking the time to look over my story.
This is the second part of Uncertainty, based in my "Sacrifice" series.
I would also like to thank everyone who has left comments, reviews, comments or favourite any of my stories/chapters, they have been greatly appreciated, as has that fact that you have chosen to read any of my fics.
I have tried to keep characterisations right, but I may have slipped up here or there.
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6 Months Later
It had been almost 2 years since Special Agent G Callen had vanished in the night, 22 Months since Sam had officially taken over as Senior Special Agent, 20 Months since Hetty had permanently assigned Nell to the team to fill the gap, 18 months since Deeks joined NCIS as a Special Agent, 6 Months since Callen had been reported death, and 3 months since they had been forced to accept that there would be no body to bury.
….
"What's going on Eric?" Deeks asked as he walked into the bullpen following the rest of his team
"No idea. Granger ordered a staff meeting"
A few minutes later Granger walked into the Bullpen, and after Deeks had stopped telling his latest story about Monty, Began his briefing
"DC was contacted by the US army who caught a man trying to sneak into an army barracks in Afghanistan. When confronted the man claimed he was an NCIS agent, but had no documents to support his claims. Army CID are investigating the man, and have requested our assistance in verifying if he is NCIS. Jones you're booked on the next flight. Beale, coordinate with HQ, get me a list of MIA agents. Kensi coordinate with Booker in Afghanistan; see if they have any reports of any 'rogue' agents operating in the region. Hanna, you and I are going to speak with the consultant
….
"…are you telling me that you have no knowledge of any 'off book' operations in Afghanistan Henrietta?"
"I'm telling you Owen, that the last agent I had 'in country', officially or unofficially, was Mrs Deeks, and we all remember how that turned out. If it was one of 'ours', why would they be trying to sneak onto an army base, why not report to a Navy site, where their identity could be verified?"
….
"Major Jackson? I'm Special Agent Jones from NCIS. I believe you have a man in custody, claiming to be an NCIS special agent"
"Yes. If you'll just follow me. We've attempted to interrogate him, but he hasn't said anything usable. Took his prints, at least attempted, but his prints look to have been partially burned off. No tattoo's, or identifying marks. But his body is covered in scars. He's been allowed to wash, and been given a clean change of clothes – the ones he arrived in were heavily stained, and apparently quite smelly."
"It may seem stupid to ask, but what he has said, has it been in English or other languages?"
"Mostly English, some Russian, and I don't know what the other languages were. Just in the door on your left"
"Thank you Major. Hopefully we can resolve this quickly"
Nell stepped into the interrogation room and sat down, while the Army officers secured their prisoner.
The minute that the prisoner looked up, Nell recognised him. She in turn promptly got up and exited the room.
"Your Prisoner. I'd like for you to turn him over me NCIS. He is known to us, but not as a terrorist or threat, but a Special Agent that was believed KIA"
….
Nell sat on the floor of the C130 looking across at the man that had been medically sedated.
There would be a lot of questions when they got home, and not just from NCIS itself. She had to admit to having more than a few questions herself. She found herself unconsciously playing with her necklace. Even when she realised what she had been doing, she didn't stop… figuring that it would help distract her for even a short part of their long flight.
….
"Come on Eric. You have to know something" Kensi asked, looking for any details about what her partner had got tangled up in
"All I know is that she was instructed to deliver her prisoner to DC for polygraph, but that was a few days ago"
"by Granger?"
"Nope, higher up the food chain"
"You hear anything else, can you let me know?" Kensi urged
"Sure thing"
Kensi returned to the bullpen to complete her paperwork, at least until there was something she could do in the field
"You bored to tears yet, sugar bear?" Her husband asked from behind her as Sam and himself walked back into the office
"Not that bad yet. I just wish there was something I could actually be doing"
"If you're looking for something to do.."
"I'm not doing your paperwork for you."
"You won't have to sit on the sidelines for much longer"
"Easy for you to say Sam. You've not been sidelined for the better part of a week"
….
When Sam, Deeks and Kensi arrived in the office the next morning they were surprised to find Nell sat at her desk furiously working away.
"When did you get back. You know I would have picked you up if you had asked" Kensi enquired
"Just a few hours ago. Granger has 'requested' that we report to the Boatshed." She turned to face Sam "You and Shaggy have to pick up Hetty on the way. It's going to be a long day"
Kensi could see that something was bothering Nell, but she wasn't going to start questioning her, while there were other people around..
….
"So what's going on?"
"I don't even know where to start Kens"
"Well, the beginning is always a good place"
Nell stared out the window, watching the other traffic. "The NCIS 'agent' at the Barracks, is an NCIS agent, one that is listed as killed in action"
Nell didn't say anything for the next few miles, only speaking again once they had arrived at the boatshed
"He's supposed to be dead Kens" Nell barely managed to force out as she started to sob
"Who is?"
"Callen. He's meant to be dead. They said… Hetty said, he was dead"
This hit Kensi like a tonne of bricks. She knew if that was how it had 'hit' her, she couldn't begin to imagine how it had hit Nell.
"How long have you known it was him?"
"Only took me one look. Under all that hair, it's obviously still him"
"Have you spoken to him?. Like properly spoken to him?"
"No. Even if I had, what am I meant to say? Why did you run out on me?"
"You were on at least two flights with him Nell, how can you have said nothing to him?"
"They sedated him before both flights. I don't think he was even awake"
"Are you sure it's Callen. I mean totally sure that it's him, and not some doppelganger?"
"I think so. If it wasn't really him, why would the Director have had him transferred back to LA?"
"This should have been the first question I asked you, but how do you feel about this?"
….
"Well? What do you think Henrietta?"
"You know what the report said as well as I do Owen. This is either Mr Callen, or someone has gone to a lot of effort to place a look-a-like within our grasp"
"Polygraph didn't red flag anything from what he said when questioned"
"But even if it is Mr Callen, he has enough training to enable him to pass a polygraph exam."
"If it isn't Agent Callen, What is most likely to trip this person up. You know him better than almost anyone"
"Stick to subjects that would be unknown to anyone besides Mr Callen and a select few"
….
"Well? Is it him?"
"I dunno Kens. Whoever it is, does strike more than a passing resemblance to him" Deeks responded
"She was just starting to get over everything. And now this, it's gonna send her back to square one. How could Granger do this, he had to have known"
"No matter what he's done before, I don't think that even Granger would knowingly send Nell to come face to face with her supposedly dead fiancé"
"Yeah, you're probably right… and you know how much I hate to admit that"
"Sam's in there with them just now. I don't think he's any happier than you are. And that's before they even start questioning … what do we call him? Bizzaro Callen?"
….
Sam walked into the interrogation room, slamming the door behind him to attract the attention of the man who was claiming to be G Callen
"Let's start with a simple question. Who do you think you are?"
"I'm G Callen, and you know that"
"Where have you been for the last 6 months?"
"You're looking good Sam. New partner must be keeping you on your toes"
"Where have you been for the last 6 months"
"Recovering in a small village in Afghanistan. I had a broken leg and barely managed to drag myself out of the rubble and get out of town without being caught. After a few days, I was out of water and had just about given up, when I was found by a couple of… what I could best describe as farmers. They took me back to their village where they provided me with aid. Answer a question for me, Who's watching?. Hetty? Maybe Nate?"
"Hetty no longer works for NCIS. Did you give up any intel to anyone in Afghanistan?"
"No I didn't give up any intel!. You didn't answer my question."
"Granger's watching. So I'm supposed to believe that you were in a village for 6 months and you never spoke to anyone about anything classified"
"No. What you can believe, is that I spent almost 4 months recovering in that village, and then a further month repaying their kindness by doing odd jobs and farming, before I took off in search of any US troops to hand myself in to. How are Michelle and the kids?"
"When you turned yourself into US forces, why did you not give your name"
"Michelle and the Kids?"
"Recovering from the death of a family member. Now, Why didn't you give your name!"
"I wasn't meant to be there, I wasn't meant to be alive, and you know as well as I do.. officially I don't exist"
….
"Do you believe that its really him?"
"Pretty sure. Eric is running a check on a few parts of his story, comparing everything with what he provided during his polygraph"
"Did Granger know it was him before he sent Nell"
"He didn't know Kens. No one remotely suspected that he could even be alive until Nell reported in. How is she doing?" Sam asked, his focus being on the state of the young agent
"She's not good. I've not seen her this bad since we were told that he was dead. Did he ask about her?"
"No. It was almost as if he was purposefully avoiding asking anything about her. Considering how they left things when he disappeared, I'm not surprised"
"When are the rest of us gonna get to speak to him"
"Granger has ordered a psychological evaluation. If he passes that… probably not for at least a few days"
"What do I tell Nell?
"I don't know Kens. I really don't know"
….
*Knock Knock*
Nell slowly dragged herself from her bed and made her way to the front door, wondering which of her colleagues was going to be on the other side of the door this time. She had already had Kensi and Marty stop by for several hours, She had had phone calls from Eric, and even Michelle, checking to see how she was doing.
She would almost have said that her friends didn't think she could cope. Maybe she couldn't… at least not with this.
Opening the door she found Hetty. She had remained in contact with Hetty ever since she had resigned a few months ago, although, they had all kept in contact with the aging spy.
"How are you coping my dear?"
Nell waved Hetty in the door, allowing her to find somewhere to sit.
"As well as can be expected. It's not like you get taught about how to cope when your boyfriend comes back from the dead, at school. You said he was dead"
"I was told that he was dead. Officially he is dead. How he survived, is nothing short of miraculous"
"You've spoken to him?"
Hetty sat, considering her next words carefully
"I've observed parts of his interrogation. I do believe that it is Mr Callen. But I do believe Assistant Director Granger still has a few tests to be carried out, before any of us can be 100%. I know that this will have been difficult for you, but even if they rule that it is Mr Callen, he may not be the same man that we all chose to remember"
"I just want to understand how he is alive, and why no one seems to have known. We have one of the best intelligence networks in the world, and at no time in the last 6 months has there ever been so much as a whisper about an American wandering through Afghanistan. We had to bury an empty coffin, because you were assured, supposedly from highest levels, that he was dead"
the confusion and anger that Nell had been feeling had become obvious in the tone of her voice.
"I want to speak to him Hetty… I need to speak to him. You owe me that much"
….
Sam opened the door , and walked into the interrogation room, Nell following close behind.
Sam stood in the corner of the room, keeping one hand gripped around the handle of his Sig, ready for whatever happened
….
Kensi and Deeks stood in the boathouse, watching the feed from the interrogation room, on the monitor
"This isn't a good idea" Kensi said, breaking the silence "She's not ready for this"
"It's her choice. At least this way, she isn't having to face him alone"
….
Callen watched Nell walk into the room and sit down on the other side of the table.
He thought he had seen her briefly a few days ago, but he had dismissed it as a product of his imagination. He had regularly thought about her since he was walked out on her, On his friends… his family. Despite having thought about her, he had no idea what to say to her.
The last time he had seen her, she still lacked any memory of their time together, their relationship.
He had kicked himself so many times for walking away, when he knew all to well that memories can come back. But he remembered comments that her mother, and father, had made about Nells safety. So yes, he was a coward, he had walked away from the best thing in his life… but he had done so for her well being. Deciding that they had been silent long enough, he broke the silence.
"Ms Jones"
Nell stared back at him. She had been imagining what he would say, but she had hoped, imagined.. hell, ever prayed that he would have said more than just that…
"Actually it's Special Agent Jones, now"
She watched him briefly nod, and smile after she had said that. She had hoped for more of a response, but she would accept it. Something was better than nothing, she supposed.
"Next you're gonna tell me that Eric wears a suit to work" he smirked.
Why did it please her to see him smirk. She would need to talk to Nate about it next time he was in town
"Nope, still shorts and sandals" Nell stared across the table at him, was this all he had to say. He had been gone for 2 years, and he wanted to joke? about Eric wearing a suit, of all things.
"What did I do wrong, Why did you walk away. Why didn't you give me more time to remember?" Nell stared into his blue eyes, wanting to see if what he told her next would be the truth or excuses.
"You really want to have this out here and now, Nell?" Callen looked over to his former partner, looking for help, but he knew he wouldn't get any.
"What do you want me to tell you?. That it was the age difference?, that you're a better person?. That I'm too damaged to make a real relationship work…"
….
"I can't tell if he's trying to get her to sympathise with him, or if he's just making excuses"
"Doesn't matter how much time has passed… he's still the same as he has always been"
Deeks turned towards his wife, his confusion easily apparent "Huh?"
"He's saying what he thinks she needs to hear. What will make it easiest for her to move on"
….
The last few days had been tough. Callen had been questioned by numerous Agents, both before and after the numerous evaluations. With the exception of trips to the toilet, and his physical evaluation, he hadn't left the interrogation room. He didn't really have any expectation of when, or if, he would be released. Even if he did get released.. where would he go. He had 'officially' been dead for months now. His last will and testament would surely have been read, and what little he had, would have been distributed amongst his 'family'.
He was just about to lay down on the floor for the night, get a little sleep before the next round of questioning, when the door opened revealing Sam in the doorway.
"Come on, let's take a ride…"
After 3 days of questioning, he was willing to trust that Sam wasn't going to drive him to the middle of nowhere, and beat him to death.
"Where to?" he asked
"Does it matter?. Come on, before I change my mind"
….
"This isn't the same Challenger is it?"
"Nope. Replaced it last year"
"So where am I being locked up?"
"You're not. You're sleeping on my sofa, Michelle's already expecting you"
….
"Don't even try to take off in the night again"
"Not planning on it. Even if I did, where would I go"
"You know, I don't get it G. Even if you weren't gonna stay with Nell, why did you need to take off" This was probably the main question that Sam had wanted to ask Callen, but it wasn't appropriate to ask in an official questioning
"You remember when I was on the Seahawk, and things started to come back to me?, I pushed Nell away to save myself from the pain of watching her with someone else. Well, if I had stayed, things would have got awkward at work, and eventually either she would have left, or I would have left"
"So you decided to pre-empt everything, and run away, even though things could've worked out"
"Well… when you put it like that, it wasn't the best decision I've ever made. But at least I was doing good work"
"Have you any idea what happened after you left. We had to fight, just to keep you on the inactive list. Hetty had to promote me to senior agent just save Granger from forcing some stranger into the unit"
"So things worked out, You're all still together"
"There were a lot of tough times G. We had to find ways to cope. …"
".. and you did. You wouldn't still be here if you hadn't" Callen replied, interrupting
"You know what damage you did, reappearing like you did. Huh?. You know what happened to Nell, or Kensi, or Deeks when we were told you died?. Do you even care?"
"Of course I care…"
Before he could finish what he was saying, they heard the front door open, and the excited voices of Sam's son and daughter could be heard
"Uncle G!"
….
By the end of the week Callen had been released, and had legally been resurrected from the dead.
The first few nights, he spent sleeping on Sam's couch. But by monday morning he arranged himself accommodation at a boarding house. It was a small step, but one that he needed to take to get back on his feet.
He hadn't asked what had happened to his old house. He hadn't really wanted to know, as far as he was concerned it belonged to Nell now.
Surprisingly, Granger had made a call on his behalf. So he at least had a job, even if he wasn't working with the people he used to know, provided he attended agency mandated counselling sessions.
….
"So when you shipping out?" Sam asked
"End of the week. Should keep me busy, and at least I can be of use"
"Well, make sure you say good bye this time"
"I'll make sure to call you before I go"
Sam watched Callen start digging though his pockets, looking for something.
"I… I need you to do me a favour Sam" Sam stared back at him, waiting to hear what this favour would be
"I need for you to give these to everyone" he added, then pushed a few envelopes towards Sam.
….
"You shouldn't keep secrets from your husband!"
"You're not reading it Shaggy"
"I'll let you read mine…"
"Play nice, you two" Sam said as he walked into the Bullpen
"Come on Sam, what was in your letter?"
"He been like this since last night?" Sam asked Kensi
Kensi simply nodded
"Come on, what was in yours?" Deeks asked Nell, when he saw her walk into the office
Nell sat down, and got set up. Choosing to ignore Deeks' question.
….
"You didn't read it did you?" Kensi asked, while they were stopped in traffic
"You know, you could turn onto South Avenue, avoid some of this traffic"
"Nell. I know that this has been tough. But maybe you could get something out of it. It's not like anything he's written, could make things any worse"
….
"I already promised Sam that I would call before I left. So, what are you doing here?"
"Just doin as I'm told"
Callen stepped back and opened the door
"You may as well come in and wait. I've got to finish packing"
Deeks looked about the near empty room, wondering how Callen could live like this
"So, Sam told me that you got married…" Callen stated, and he continued pushing clothes into a bag
"Yeah… It eh… Yeah. Comin up on 6 months now"
"I'm pleased for both of you. But you hurt her… "
"Yeah, I know.. You'll hurt me. Hate burst your bubble, but I've already received the 'talk' from Sam, Nell, Hetty… even Granger."
Callen seemed happy with this response, and returned to his packing
….
"So come on Deeks. What am I here for?"
"Dunno, I'm Just doing as I'm told" Deeks walked back outside, and dialled someone on his phone, however Callen couldn't hear what was being said
After waiting for another 10 minutes, he heard foot steps. Instinctively he reached for his SIG, slowly pulling it and then aiming it towards the approaching footsteps.
"You won't need that G" he heard Nell's familiar voice say
He tucked his gun back into his waistband and watched as she slowly emerged from the shadows. He was surprised to note that there was no anger or pain displayed on the young woman's face.
Since he had seen her in the interrogation room all those weeks ago, she had had her hair cut. Gone was the longer shoulder length hair that he had seen, replaced by the shorter style he remembered her having before he had walked out on her. The physical pains he had endured over the last couple of years were nothing compared to the tightness in his chest he felt, just looking upon her.
They both looked one another over, but neither said anything immediately
"You're looking good Ms Jones. Healthy I mean" Callen said, breaking the awkward silence
"You look better" she replied, as she continued looking him over, taking in the visible scarring on his forearms.
Seeing where she was looking, Callen started to unroll each of his shirt sleeves down, to cover over his arms.
"I never thought I would see this place again." He said, looking around the building that OSP had once called home. Seeing it unlit, and devoid of equipment and staff only served to remind him that the life he had once had, was long since over.
"So, what was it you wanted me here for?"
"Sam… he… he gave us your letters. Told us you were leaving LA. I couldn't let you leave without … without telling you, that I'm sorry for how we parted, that I forgive you for what you felt you had to do"
Callen took a few steps closer to her, and put his hand on her shoulders "You don't need to apologise for anything, Nell. I…" He started, before being distracted by what he saw hanging from her neck
Seeing where he was looking, Nell smiled up at him
"I've kept it on me… ever since…Since I remembered us"
Callen reached up for what was dangling from the necklace, another thing that he was sure he would never see again
"..but you should have it back." She added, as she reached back to unclip her necklace
"No!. It's never been mine. It's yours, always has been, ever since I picked it out" Callen urged, as he took several steps back from her.
Nell eyed him suspiciously
"Why is it you would talk to me in that interrogation room, but out here in the real world you're… you're practically afraid of me?"
"Because then I was telling you what you needed to hear!," Callen snapped.
Nell was shocked at his outburst, even more surprised at the fact that she wasn't surprised at what he had admitted.
"Then try telling me the truth this time" she said staring him down
"Fine. I'll answer 3 questions… then I'm walking"
"I only need One, so long as your honest"
Looking at his face, She was so please to see that he was surprised by her response. Maybe he really was still the man that she remembered
"Do you still love me?. Nothing more, nothing less, Just… the way you did, before… before you… died, or walked away"
"You are what you wanted to be Nell. You wanted to work in the field, and now you do. There is nothing I have ever wanted more, than for you to be happy"
Callen walked off, not willing to let their exchange drag out any longer. Not wanting to hurt her yet again.
"You didn't answer me" Nell said from behind him, as she grabbed onto his arm
"What do you want from me, Nell?"
"Just…. Answer my question honestly" Nell knew that she had probably sounded a bit needy, but if it got her the truth from him, she could live with sounded needy.
"Yes. Okay… Of course I still love you" he replied, quicker than he would have preferred
"Then don't go… don't leave me, not again" she pleaded
