A/N: A special thanks to Dr. Callian who confirmed my suspicions from the first chapter - there wasn't nearly enough detail or info on Cal. I think you'll find this 2nd chapter to be quite Cal-centric. : )

R&R!


Leaving Gillian so she could finish getting ready for bed, Cal began walking back to his car. His feet felt like lead, and he had to consciously tell his feet to keep moving. His arms hung at his sides like cinder blocks were tied to them. There was no swagger, no spring in his step like there usually was. And he let her words sink in.

I don't know…

He wrapped his fingers around the cold handle, opened the door, and got in.

The things you've done lately…

He felt the warm metal of his keys in his hand and he fumbled to find the right one. After focusing on it, he put the key in the ignition.

You'd throw away everything we have…

His head fell against the headrest, and it didn't feel as plush as it normally did.

I really don't know.

He exhaled loudly and starred at the roof of his car. Half of him wanted to drive to the nearest bar and get wasted beyond what he'd ever been wasted before. The other half of him couldn't find it in himself to start the car.

"You've really fucked this one up, Cal," he said aloud to himself.

He closed his eyes tightly and let his chin fall to his chest. Running his hands over his face, he pulled his head back up so he was looking forward. He felt drained, like the life-force had been sucked out of him and like he couldn't move if he wanted to. And then his mind started spinning.

How did I get here? How did we get here? When did this all start to fall apart? Has it been falling apart right in front of me and I just didn't notice? That's possible. I am a bastard like that. I certainly wouldn't challenge my pride when it comes to her. Can't admit I'm wrong. And she is definitely my blind spot. I can't see half of what I want to with her.

Cal looked out his side window to see the dim glow of the street lights on the pavement. He squinted his eyes a bit and then threw his head back in the seat again, feeling physically ill. He drew in a quick breath and held it, hoping the queasiness would subside. He slowly blew out the breath.

God, I can't loose her. She's the only one who'll put up with me. No one else could even stand me, let alone work with me.

He looked back toward her house with a pained look on his face, brow furrowed, jaw clenched. He noticed the light in living room was still on. He leaned forward again, really feeling like he needed to throw up.

Everything will fall apart. My business will go down in flames. Our business will go down in flames. There's no way I can hold it all together without her. Who'd tell me when I'm really about to fuck something up, professionally or personally?

Feeling a surge of anger at himself, he clenched his fists and hit the steering wheel with every bit of strength he had in him. He let out a quick breath, gripped the steering wheel with white knuckles, and looked back at her house.

"I need her."

Just as he was about to start the car, there was a knock on the window that made him jumped slightly in his seat. He looked over to see Gillian peering through the window. He unlocked the door, and she climbed in.

She bit her bottom lip, then turned her head toward him and asked, "Are you going to sit out here all night?"

Wondering if she'd heard what he said or witnessed him slamming his fists into the steering wheel, Cal just looked straight ahead.

"I was just about to leave. Had trouble finding my keys."

She knew that was a lie, and she could see he was clearly upset; but she wasn't emotionally in a place where should could fix that for him. Not right now. So she responded, "Ok. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah," he said under his breath as she got back out of the car.

As soon as she closed the door, he calmly started the car and drove away, leaving Gillian standing on the sidewalk with her arms crossed and more worried than she was when he first left.


I have most of Chapter 3 written already. Just a little fine tuning here and there, so that should be up in a couple days. Hope you enjoyed!