And now…here is the second chapter ever, Count Edula.
Special thanks to Easymac120
I do not own Ed, Edd, n Eddy
COUNT EDULA
One Monday night in Double D's room, Ed and Eddy are sitting on his bed waiting for him to get back, there is a tarp covering something on a table in front of Double D's bed. "I wonder why Double D asked us here." Says Ed, "Yeah, and he'd better give us some food, I had no dinner." Says Eddy. Double D walks in and he is carrying 3 pizzas! "Holy crud Sockhead! Pizzas, for real?" "Yes indeed gentlemen, I joke you not, three pizzas for the three of us." "What's the occasion Double D?" asks Eddy, "Well," responds Double D, "my parents have bought me…" he walks over to the tarp and pulls it off, "A flat-screen TV!" "Oh goody, goody!" yells Ed "Ya know Double D, I'm gonna take some of the things I said about your parents back." Eddy says, "What?" asks Double D, "Nothing!" Eddy quickly says.
"Well gentlemen, I picked out something from my father's DVD collection that I think we'll all enjoy," He then pulls out… "Bram Stoaker's Dracula!" Classic for me, weird for Ed, and… well something for you Eddy." "Which Dracula is it? The old black and white one or the one with Commissioner Gordon?" "The latter Eddy, it will satisfy all of us. Now sit back, and enjoy." Double D sit on his chair, Eddy lays on the bed, and Ed sits on the floor as the movie began.
Creepy, eerie music fills the room. "The year is fourteen-hundred-ninety-seven," says Anthony Hopskin's voice. Two hours later as the movie ended with Mina Harker cutting off Dracula's head. "Well, that was quite a movie going experience." Says Double D, "Uh, sure, whatever Double D." says Eddy, he didn't want neither Ed nor Double D that was a little scared by the movie. Ed looks at the uneaten pizza slices and crusts. He looks as Double D, "Can I guys?" "Sure." They both say at once, and within seconds, no more pizza. "I don't know where he puts it and I don't want to know." Eddy says with a creeped out voice. The three go down stairs and Eddy and Ed leave. "Good night gentlemen." Calls Double D, as Eddy and Ed walk down the street Eddy looks around nervously.
A minute later as Eddy got into his house he locks the doors and quickly runs to his room. "Come on Eddy," he says to himself, "its Ed's thing to think a movie is real, not yours!"
The next day the three Eds are walking to school, "Ah, what a bright and glorious day of the late summer, don't you agree fellows?" Double D asks, "Uh, sure whatever Sockhead." Eddy says, not really paying attention. . All of a sudden Double D and Eddy are knocked to the ground and look up to see Ed just standing there. "Ed? What's wrong?" asks Double D, "Hey lumpy, ya have a heart attack or something? Move it!" Yells Eddy, "The evil are among us.", "As is your atrocious grammar Ed." Double D comments, he looks ahead to see three boys. One is normal size, with long, loose black hair, a purple shirt, black pants, and purple sneakers. He also sports an 'ankh' necklace. The second boy is tall, about a head taller than Ed, he wears a Black and Purple stripped sweater, black pants with chains, and purple sneakers. His long black hair covers up his eyes. The third and final boy was round and fat and the shortest of all three boys, he has black hair with a purple beanie, a black shirt with a white skull logo, purple pants and black sneakers.
Ed just kept staring at them, "Um, Ed, it's impolite to stare. Remember?" Double D says, as he looks up at the three, who haven't noticed yet, "These fine boys are just what you call Goths." Double D explains, "Ya know Ed, Emos." Eddy adds in, earning a disapproval look from Double D. "But Double D, they look a lot like vampires!" Ed whispers, "Ed, to assure you that they are not vampires, I shall introduce us to them." Double D says. The trio walks over to the Goth boys. "…And so I told him 'So go make yourself a sandwich, you're stomach sounds like a Nazgul for God's sake!'" says the tall one, earning a laugh from the average height goth and a smile from the fat goth. "Greetings gentlemen," says Double D, all three turn around to face them, "I am Eddward, with two D's, but most people call me Double D, this…um, impressionable young fellow, is Ed," Ed is trying to hide behind Double D, "and this um, short fellow is Eddy." "Short? You're in for it Sockhead." "Yeah, we all know who you guys are," Says the average height one "how could we not with all the stuff that happened over here last fall and winter." "Dudes that booster shot day scheme, pure genius, you had 'em running like decapitated chickens!" says the tall one. "Thanks, it was my idea to scare Kevin, so I guess the whole school was a major bonus." Says Eddy. "Did he say decapitated chickens?" Ed quickly asks, "How rude we haven't introduced ourselves. I'm Sean." Says Sean, "I'm Bill," says the tallest one, "and this is Dean, he doesn't talk." he says pointing to the fat one.
"Hi guys," says a girl's voice the six look over to see a goth girl, Double D and Ed both recognize her but Eddy doesn't. The girl has shoulder-length, purple-fringed black hair that covers her left eye, black eyeshadows, pink lipstick, and purple fingernails. She wears a black halter top with a purple pendant that connects the neck strap, black pants with a purple belt, black-&-white sneakers, silver earrings, and a white flower hairclip. "Hey Rachel." Says Bill and Sean at once, and Dean gives her a nod. "Greetings Rachel, long time no see." Double D greets her, "Hey Double D, how've ya been?" "Fine, thank you." He replies. "Hello Rachel, do you know these vampires?" asks Ed, "Ed! That's not polite…" Double D scolds, but Rachel says, "Its okay Double D, Marie told me that big Ed here is a little bit on the negative side, no Ed, they are not vampires, just goths." "You know Corpse Bride here Double D?" Eddy asks, "Yes Eddy, Rachel is a friend of the Kanker sisters, she moved here after the movie, and it was right before the Gourd's little invasion that Ed and I met her." Double D explains, "She's a friend of the Kanker sisters?" Eddy asks in shock, "Yeah, what of it Eddy? The Kanker sisters told me all about you three, shortstop." Rachel retorts, "Short?" Eddy says angrily, "So they aren't vampires?" asks Ed, "No Ed, vampires are things for movies, books, video games etc" The bell rings "Oh we mustn't be late!" cries Double D as he runs into school, "Later vampire girl." Eddy says to Rachel, who growls.
Later at lunch, the Eds sit with Paul and Kevin, they tell them about the incident this morning. "I don't know about vampires, but if she is, that Rachel girl can bite me any time 'cause she's hot." Says Paul, who looks over to Rachel with Bill and Sean at a table. "You better thank God she's out of earshot dude." Laughs Kevin, Eddy walks away to get something from his locker, as Double D had finally assured Ed that the goths were not vampires "But Double D, what about zombies?" Eddy hears Ed ask, he also hears a rather loud groan from Double D. Eddy walks to his locker and takes out a book for the next class. He walks down the hallways and sees Dean at his locker, Eddy stops he looks closely at the mirror in Dean's locker to see…he has no reflection!
Eddy quickly hides behind a wall, "Did I really just see that?" he asks himself, he looks around to see that Dean, indeed, has no reflection. "I'm I going crazy?" Eddy asks himself. Later during math class Eddy is still thinking it over, 'How can he have no reflection, what if he is a vampire?' "Eddy!" says the teacher, "Can you give me the final step in this proof?" the teacher asks, "Um… Reflection?" Eddy says nervously, "Correct, reflexive property." Says the teacher, a bit amazed. A half-hour later Eddy is walking to his next period, when he sees Bill looking at a poster and hears him saying "I love coming to these things." He walks away, Eddy looks at the poster with curiosity, only to see that it's a poster for a blood drive! Eddy gasps and looks at the poster 'STAFF ONLY' it says. "Why would he go to a staff only blood drive?" Eddy asks himself, ''Cause he's a vampire!' he thinks with horror.
Later as school ends Eddy looks over too see Sean wearing sunglasses and walking in shade of the trees. "Vampires are weakened by the sun!" Eddy whispers to himself. "Hey guys," he says to Ed and Double D, "could you guys come over to my house?" "Uh…yep" answers Ed, "Why certainly Eddy." Replies Double D.
Later at Eddy's house, Double D and Ed sit on Eddy's bed as he paces around. "Eddy, is there any specific reason as to why you called us here?" asks Double D, "Alright, I know this is gonna sound like I'm stealing Ed's act but, I think the goths are vampires!" Eddy declares, "Oh please no you too…" "Vampires Double D!" yells Ed "I was right and now the vampires will drink our blood!" "Ed!" yells Double D, Ed calms down immediately, "At the risk of sounding like a broken record, THERE ARE NO SUCH THINGS AS VAMPIRES!" Double D yells, "Yeesh Sockhead you don't have to scream." Says Eddy, "Look who's talking." Double D mutters. "I know they're vampires, and I've seen proof. Dean had no reflection. Bill was exited about a blood drive that's for staff only, and Sean was avoiding the sunlight, and Rachel…well, she's creepy and friends with the Kankers." Eddy explains, "Top that, Double D."
"You're crazy." Double D says, "Okay I do admit there was a Dracula, but he was a Christian prince who slaughtered all that opposed him, that part was true, but the rest is fiction. Unless you can get me some proof that the goths are as you claim them to be, nosferatu, you're on your own. Good day." Double D says as he walks out the door. "'Find proof'" Eddy says in a mock voice, "Ed, were going proof hunting." "I'll get my hula skirt!" says Ed.
Later Eddy and Ed are looking through the school directory for Sean's house. "Come on where is it, where is it?" Eddy mutters as he looks through the pages, "This would be so much easier if Double D were here. He has the patience to do this crud." He continued, "There it is Eddy! See? Sean Sullivan. 2606 Jackson Drive!" Ed points out, "Ed, Ya hunk of lump, you actually did something right, Now to Sean's house!" Ed picks up Eddy and runs out into the night, and shortly arrives at Sean's house. Eddy looks around to make sure no one can see is around to see them. "Okay Ed, lets go for it." They walk over to the side of the house.
"Okay Ed, lift me up." Eddy says as Ed lifts him up to the window. Eddy then takes out something, the old Polaroid camera, "Okay, let's see what proof we can find in… here… oh man." Eddy says in shock, "What is it Eddy?" Ed asks, he looks down nervously; they are standing on a wobbly garbage can that won't hold much longer. "It's a bat!" exclaims Eddy. There really was a bat, inside of a cage in Sean's room. Eddy quickly takes a picture of the bat. "Okay, Ed now let's get out of here before someone sees us." Eddy says, just then…BANG! Eddy and Ed are on the ground, the garbage can is crushed. Eddy looks at the camera, its fine, but has a few marks on it, the picture also comes out. "Alright Ed, lets get the heck out of here." They here the window opening, "Who's out there?" they hear Sean call. The two quickly run away, before Sean can see either of them.
The next day at school, Eddy stops by Dean's locker and sees Bill with him, Eddy takes out the camera, and quickly snaps a photo, and runs for the hills. They both turn around, but shrug and continue with what they were doing. Later at lunch, Eddy and Ed sit next to Double D. "Okay Sockhead, you wanted proof, well here it is." Eddy says showing the pictures of the bat in Sean's room, and the picture of Bill and Dean with no reflection. Double D looks at them, with a raised eye brow. "See? Bill and Dean have no reflections! And this one," Eddy says, "We spied on Sean's room, this bat was in there!" "You spied on Sean?" Double D asks, "You wanted proof, Double D." Ed says. "Okay I will admit it is odd that they do not have reflections, or that there is a bat in Sean's room, but there's more than likely a logical explanation." Double D says, trying to bring some sense into this. "What's with you?" Eddy asks, ticked off at how oblivious Double D is being, "Why can't you just accept it? It's right in front of you." Eddy says. Kevin then sits down with them, "Hey dudes, what's up?" he says. "Eddy and Ed are still under the ridiculous idea that the goths are vampires." Double D explains, "Well, if you want to prove it, I overheard them talking, they're gonna meet in Sean's house tonight for something." Kevin says to them, "A meeting at Sean's tonight?" Eddy says, "Perfect." "What are you getting at, Eddy?" Double D asks, "We go there tonight, spy on them, and then…BAM! We uncover the truth about them being vampires." Eddy says with pride, "Count me in! I, Ed the ed shall uncover the vampire's…uh…stuff." Ed says bravely, but stupidly. "Sorry man, I've got chores tonight, but I'll hunt them down if you guys 'disappear'." Says Kevin. "Well Sockhead, you in or out?" Eddy asks Double D. "Oh fine! But only to prove that the goths are not vampires, and that you are being ridiculous!" Double D says, sounding very annoyed.
Later at Eddy's house, just before nightfall, the three Eds were getting ready. "Nightfall Eddy? Wouldn't it be more of an advantage to attack at day?" Double D asks sarcastically, "Because, we will catch them in act Double D, they won't know what happened, and we'll have proof positive that they are vampires." Eddy responds, "Weapons are ready Eddy." Says Ed, as he drags out a sack. "Oh boy, let's see what you were able to salvage up." Eddy says excitedly, he opens the bag and pulls out… a bunch of garlic, a cross, a flashlight, and a meat stake. Eddy and Double D look at Ed, "It's supposed to be a sharp stake Ed." Says Double D "Its sirloin, does that count?" Ed answers, causing Double D to face palm and say; "My patience is wearing thin, let's get this charade over with."
Later at Sean's house, it is raining hard and the three hide in the bushes, as Eddy looks with the old x-ray goggles fixed up to night-vision goggles. "Okay here comes Rachel." Eddy whispers. "Hi Sean, the others here yet?" They hear Rachel say, "Yeah, they're ready, come on in." they hear Sean say to her. He takes her inside and closes the door. "Okay boys, here's the plan," Eddy begins to explain "Ed, you and I will enter through that upstairs porch thing, the window is open, I'll go in through there and let you in the door. We will then move in on them, and Double D, when you hear sounds of a fight, come in and help us finish them off." Eddy says to them. "Gotcha." Says Ed, "Oh yes, fearless leader." Double D says sarcastically.
Eddy and Ed move in on the house and climb up the support beams, while Double D walks up to the porch and prepares to enter. When Eddy and Ed finally get up on to the balcony, Double D says, "What am I doing out here in the rain? Vampire hunting? That's it, I'm ending this." He knocks on the door, and Sean's mom answers it, "Yes, are you another of Sean's friends? I've never seen you before." She asks "No ma'am, I'm an acquaintance of Sean, and would like to talk to him." Double D says, "Okay, come with me." She says, leading him upstairs. She knocked on the door to Sean's room and Rachel answers it. "Oh hi Mrs. Sullivan, Double D? What are you doing here?" she asks, "I have to talk to the four of you." Double D explains.
Meanwhile upstairs, Eddy is stuck in the window and Ed is trying to push him through, "Man, this window is smaller than I thought it was." Eddy says as Ed pushes him farther, "Ed, go to the end of the porch, then charge!" Eddy orders, "Righto." Says Ed, he runs back to the end of the balcony, then runs with all his might and pushes Eddy through. Eddy goes flying, straight into the wall, leaving a hole, the size of Eddy's head! "Okay, I'm hurt now," says Eddy, as he gets up and wearily walks to the door and lets Ed in, "Sorry Eddy, I did not know you're head was made of iron." Ed says. The two look at the hole in the wall, "You think they'll notice?" Eddy asks, thankful that the thunder was covering up everything. Ed picked up a large picture and put it in front of the hole, "They won't know." Says Ed, "Ed, I love it when you become smart for a few seconds." Says Eddy he then turns and says, "Now let's get down to business."
Rachel, Sean, Bill, Dean, and Double D sit down in Sean's room, as Double D explains the situation to them, "So you see, Eddy thinks you're all vampires." Double D explains, causing Rachel to look offended, while Bill and Sean look amused, and Dean seems neutral. "Why would he think that?" asks Rachel, with anger in her voice, "Well, Eddy noticed that Dean had no reflection." Double D begins, "Oh that, Dean has a trick mirror in his locker, it won't have a reflection for anybody that's right in front of it." Rachel explains, "Alright, but he also said he noticed Bill looked exited for a staff only blood drive." Double D brought up, "I just love helping out at those things." Bill explains, "Well that explains it, but what about Sean's staying out of the sunlight?" Double D says, "Well, I just had eye surgery a few weeks ago, and my doctor wants me to stay out of the sunlight for a few weeks." Sean says.
Just then the door busts open, revealing a soaked Ed and Eddy, "Die vampires!" Eddy yells as he jumps on Sean with the steak and pounds the slab of meat on Sean's chest. "This has been quite a night," Double D mutters, "Eddy! Sean is not a vampire!" Double D exclaims, "How do you kn-" "Sean just had eye surgery so that's why he's staying out of the sun, Bill likes helping out at blood drives, and Dean has a trick mirror in his locker." Double D explains quickly, "Say what?" Ed asks, "Oh, uh, sorry about this." Eddy says, getting off of Sean, "Wait! What about the bat?" Eddy quickly brings up, "That's right, you didn't explain the bat." Double D says. "Oh this little guy?" asked Sean as he took out a cage with a bat inside it. "My dad is a vet, he found this guy on the road with a broken wing, since the vet where my dad works at is full, and we decided to keep him here until he gets better, we're gonna release him tomorrow, that's why I invited the guys over, so they can see him before we let him go." Sean says, leaving Eddy feeling like a complete jerk.
"See Eddy, this is what happens when you jump to conclusions." Says Double D, "Sorry guys," Eddy says to the goths, "and sorry for stealing you're thing, Ed." "Oh it's okay Eddy, but next time you do it I'm suing your butt from here to Pakistan." Ed says, with a big smile on his face. "So what do ya say vampires," Eddy teases, "let's just forget this little stunt ever happened?" Eddy asks, "Sure, but I'm gonna kick you're ass for insulting me because of something stupid such as looks." Rachel says, smirking, "I'd like to see it happen." Eddy says, to which Double D just moans, "Oh it will happen, when you least expect it." She says deviously.
Later as the rain has stopped the Eds leave for home, as the goths leave also. Bill walks with Dean, Dean waves goodbye as he turns to a different street. Bill continues on the sidewalk to his apartment and stops, and starts laughing evilly, "Hahahahahahahahahaha-hahahaHAHAHA!" he laughs insanely, then says "I just remembered last night's Robot Chicken." And he continues on his way home.
Well episode 2 is done!
Review and praise or bash.
Next Week: To love an Ed: The Kanker sisters remember how they came to Peach Creek, how they heard of and met the Eds, and met the other kids.
