Disclaimer: I don't own anything except the plot!! *cries*

Chapter 1

Time passes. Even when it seems impossible. Even when each tick of the second hand aches like the pulse of blood behind a bruise. It passes unevenly, in strange lurches and dragging lulls, but pass it does. Even for me. (AN: Insert from New Moon, Chapter 4, Page 93)

FEBUARY

MARCH

APRIL

MAY

JUNE

JULY…

Blah, blah, blah.

That's the same pattern that's gone on for the past 150 years. Once you think about it 150 years is a long time, especially when that time period is spent alone, in the same place where so many painful and unforgettable memories linger. It didn't feel like the pain had weakened over time, rather that I'd grown strong enough to bear it.

150 years is how long I have spent trying to avoid time to myself where it's just me and my thoughts. 150 years of uncomfortable loneliness, 150 years of never changing and of course 150 years of trying not to think back to when I had the best time of my life with the one being who was like my life support.

No I'm not a vampire like my almost family. I'm not that lucky. I'm something more, lets say spiritual.

Two days after my 18th birthday everything was turned upside down. The love of my life and his family walked out of my life without a second thought and when he left I was lifeless. Only speaking when spoken to, always keeping myself occupied and putting more than twice the effort into things than what I used to, and I finally thought I was going to be put out of my misery four months after that, when my life came to an abrupt halt on that ridiculously wet night in January. Death is supposed to be peaceful, easy, but how wrong I was. Maybe I haven't crossed over to the next life for a reason or maybe there isn't such thing and this is it. I wouldn't know, I'm still living in a way, I guess. If being visible to seeing eyes, being able to move like a normal human being and being able to do things like run your fingers across the ivory keys of a piano as if to see it's still in tune, then I guess I'm still living.

But I came to the conclusion of being dead and still being here for a reason, the night of my 'death'. What else are you supposed to think when you can see your father holding your lifeless body twenty yards away from where you are actually standing, or the fact that you can glide gracefully through the air and walk through walls or make yourself visible to whom you please, or that your body has been six foot underground for quite sometime and you know this because you went to your own funeral, saw everyone who cared about you in mourning and saw your body in a casket?

But no matter if I'm dead or alive, he will always be the most important thing in my world and I'm still longing to hear that velvet voice, run my fingers through that soft bronze dishevelled hair and feel those ice cold lips moving in synchronisation with my own once more. What more can I say? This Juliet misses her Romeo and every second of everyday she waits for his…

Stop it Bella before your thoughts go to far! I scolded myself. My eyes fluttered open and I looked up at the clouds trying to make out shapes with in them but it was a useless attempt seeing as all it is, is a blanket of gray in the sky. I sighed and continued to lay in the overgrown lawn in the Cullen's front yard while letting the breeze ruffle my hair and the grass around me.

Letting my eyes close I listened to my surroundings. I could hear the river flowing in the distance, the birds chirping, the leaves rustling on the trees and the sound of car tires coming up the drive.

Wait, car tires? I bolted up right and my head snapped towards the break in the trees where the forest opens up to the secluded meadow.

The first car to appear was a red Ferrari followed by a yellow Porsche, a black Mercedes, a red Jeep and finally a silver Volvo.

"You have got to be kidding me" I muttered darkly. Did they want to know I was dead for sure before returning? Bastards. Normally I would have been stoked that I got to see them again but the fact that they waited till I would definitely be dead and because they interrupted my painless day dreaming made me royally pissed.

I sat in the same spot unmoving as I watched each member of the family exit their cars. They all looked the same as I remembered. Perfect, in every single way.

Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper, Alice, Esme and Carlisle were already out of their cars getting belongings out of their trunks and my eyes curiously stayed glued to the silver Volvo as I waited for the final member of the family whom I want to see most exit his car. When the door finally opened my breathing sped up as I got my first glimpse of the bronze hair that I had grown so familiar with, but the thing was it wasn't as vibrant as what I remembered, sure it was its usual messy disarray but the colour didn't look as bright as it used to, it looked… lifeless.

Ha! That's funny. Him lifeless. He should be dancing like he just won the lottery because I'm no longer apart of his world, or so he thinks. I'm a lot closer than it may seem.

When he stepped out of the car I never saw his face, he turned too quickly and walked at a human pace to the trunk of his car. Look towards me so I can see your face. Finally he made his way towards the others my breath hitched as I studied his face. His eyes were black and lifeless, the circles around his eyes were darker than I have ever seen them and his skin looked unhealthy, even for a vampire. It pained me to see him like this. Is it my fault he's like this? No, of course not.

I stood up from where I was sitting and moved a bit closer to where the Cullen's where standing. They couldn't see me, so I was safe. But just as I got about five feet from where they were standing a gust of wind went through the clearing. I decided to have a little fun and let my smell go with the wind.

All seven heads snapped and looked directly at me, but they couldn't see me. Confusion was written all over their faces but pain was what washed over Edward's. I cringed as I thought his name. It still hurts… a lot.

"Was that what I think it was?" Alice muttered, looking Carlisle in the eyes?
"Don't be stupid Alice" Edward muttered coldly and then stormed towards the house. Everyone but Emmett followed Edward. He stood in his place still looking in my direction, trying to pick up my scent again and just hoping that he will see me. His head briefly looked towards the others. I made myself visible to him. He looked back and his eyes grew wide. I smiled lightly and he smiled back.

"What are you looking at Em?" Rosalie called from the porch.
"Uhm…" He looked back to me, but I was no longer visible. Sadness crossed his face. "Nothing" And he made his way up to the house, with me tagging silently along.

AN: Sorry the chapter is so short but i just had to end it there because it didn't seem to work if i made it longer... i'll update as soon as i can... promise. the reason why it's taken me so long is beacuse i'm on summer holidays and ever since i got back from spending a very boring week with my grandmother (then spending every waking hour at the cinema on the 11th seeing twilight (LOVED IT BTW!!) until i was kicked out) i have been working my ass off everyday at my well paying job (so i could have money to buy alcohol for a massive new years party... kidding) plus i had a bad case of writers block and then FINALLY inspiration struck me while I was uncreatively doodling in my art book on tuesday night while listening to alvin and the chipmunks... strange i know but apparently i have a very stange mind lol... anyway enough babbling, hope you enjoyed it and R&R!

glittersniffer
xx