Chapter Two – Words Never Said

Elsa found the servant girl waiting a short distance away from the door to the common room. It sounded as if many of the servants and guards had decided to use the kitchen as their temporary place of entertainment and relaxation. "Your majesty?" the girl asked as she curtsied.

"Please, could you fetch me a tray for dinner and show me where Anna is resting? I would like all these good people to return to their amusements."

"At once, your majesty."

Elsa spent the next few moments deep in thought. The servant girl returned quickly with a tray of food and a bottle of wine. She followed the girl further down the hallway, pleased to hear the furtive footsteps of the exiles returning to their fire and games. The servant briskly knocked on the door to the far sitting room, which Gerda quickly opened.

"Your majesty," the woman said, dipping into a curtsy. She fluidly took the tray from the girl, shooed her from the room, and ushered Elsa into the drawing room.

Elsa had eyes only for the girl, no… Anna was most definitely a woman, and the most beautiful apparition Elsa had ever laid eyes upon. To see Anna rise, a delicate rosy blush on her cheeks, her smile breaking like a sunrise following a winter storm; the whole vision of the encounter caused Elsa's own heart to skip a beat. The news of Anna's infirmity, the slight irregular heart rhythm, Elsa could only contribute to her own misdeed, the horrifying moment of loss of control upon her ice palace, striking her dearest sister with shards of ice.

It was all her fault, but in this moment she could not even care, for Anna reached for her with such warm hands, that blazing smile on her face, and in the fire of Anna's devotion Elsa had no defence.

She reached out her own hands, and then abruptly drew Anna into a fierce embrace. The years fell from her, shuffling back and back like the riffling pages of a book, until they were only the dear sisters they had once been, able to touch, able to laugh, able to play. The beating of Anna's heart, so near her own, nearly cleaved her in two. She had achieved two illicit hugs today, each infinitely sweet and dear, but this moment erased even those blessed encounters from her mind.

For she could drink Anna in, and hold her as if the sun would never set, or the moon would never rise, as if time itself was arrested in this blessed reunion that was witnessed only by the most faithful among them all.

"Oh, Elsa," she heard once more, just as she had heard earlier upon the fjord, and her hands convulsed on Anna's shoulders, the anguish of her choices rising in her throat until she could barely see through eyes constricted with tears. The last thing she wished was to worry her sister, so she tried to banish that dread lump in her throat.

"Dearest Anna," she managed to say, and then, to her everlasting anguish, the embrace turned on its head; the comfort she had been trying to give to Anna returned on its course, and was given back to Elsa a hundred-fold. Her sister held her as if Elsa was the wounded one, the one plagued with illness whose fortune could not yet be seen. Anna held her, and whispered to her, and proved once again the sacrifice she had so boldly claimed earlier that very day.

"Ssh," Anna murmured, "it's all right. I'm here."

Yes, she was here, she was finally here, and tonight was the beginning of the rest of their lives. She had bought their futures with a terrible gamble, could she have even seen what the price might be?

Elsa could only imagine the courage that must have roared inside the young woman as she defied the prince, raising her hand against the killing blow.

"Why did you do it, Anna?" Elsa cried, the words escaping her mouth before she could rein them back in. "Why, oh why do you love me? All I've ever done is shut you out, and hurt you!"

From some distant part of her mind she could hear Gerda closing the door behind her, giving the grieving queen some privacy. She distantly marvelled at the loyalty of the staff, even as she clutched Anna even closer in her arms, one hand strong and fierce against Anna's slim waist.

To her surprise, Anna pulled away slightly from the hug. Her face was surprisingly serious. Elsa opened her mouth to protest, and her princess actually put her finger against Elsa's lips, silencing her.

"If you want to know, I will tell you, Elsa," Anna said, her face serious. "But to do so is to open the door on the past, and I don't want to do that to you unprepared. Would you rather just eat for now, and enjoy each other's company?"

It seemed there could be no containment to the swelling of Elsa's heart and soul. In every moment, in every word and deed Anna showed her quality, the stuff of legend and song. Her consideration for Elsa's feelings filled every crack and crevice of her body and soul with pride and wonder.

For the first time in the last thirteen years, Elsa allowed herself to look deeply into her sister's eyes. No more hiding behind closed doors. No more isolation on lone mountain peaks. No more storms. Despite Sera's assurances of vitality despite the irregularity of her sister's heart, Anna's health and future were now far too dear.

In response, Elsa pulled her sister over to the couch by the fire, and then sat down with her, side by side. "Please tell me, Anna," she whispered, holding her sister's hands tightly within her own, not able to give up that feeling of connection. "Tell me everything you've ever wished."

Now that the moment had come, Anna seemed unable to speak. She looked down on their conjoined hands, then over to the crackling fire, and only then back into Elsa's eyes.

Elsa's heart wept to see the desolation in those beautiful aquamarine eyes, the lead seas of despair that she seemed to swim in. The pain in those eyes was so near and dear it was like a knife to Elsa's breast.

"I was so wrong, Elsa," Anna said quietly, and the words were not what Elsa was expecting. With some effort she stayed silent and kept listening. "After I left you at the ice palace Kristoff took me to his friends, well, he called them his family, and they were trolls. They seemed to know exactly who I was, and who you were. His Grand Pabbie told me what would happen, that my life was in danger, that there was ice in my heart, put there by you. That, if not removed, to solid ice would I freeze, forever. I didn't want to believe him, and neither did Kristoff, but the troll said that only an act of true love would thaw a frozen heart."

Elsa's heart rocked to every word, hearing the story behind the frozen and lost time, the story behind Hans' lies.

"I was so cold, Elsa, and I couldn't really think straight. And then Kristoff said he had to get me back to Hans, that we could share a true love's kiss and all would be well, but even then I didn't really believe…."

Elsa felt every word as if they were darts to her skin, to sting her with endless remonstrance and shame, but Anna's great eyes were so open, so free, that Elsa fell into them, for they were great pools of life and memory, and Elsa wanted nothing more but to swim in the ocean of Anna's bliss for ever and ever.

"But then I returned, and told Hans to kiss me," and Elsa couldn't help the shudder that overcame her palms; Anna didn't seem to notice, and continued with, "but then he said, in an awful and infuriating tone, 'Oh, Anna, if only there was someone out there who loved you'.

"He humiliated me, Elsa, he said I was so desperate for love that I would marry him just like that. Then he said that all there was left to do was to kill you, bring back summer, and gain your throne."

A little whimper escaped Elsa's throat before she could bring it to submission, her entire person seething at the audacity of the prince and in fear for her princess, even though her sister was right before her, right now, relatively whole and safe.

"And I told him that he was no match for you," Anna continued, a note of pride in her voice that nearly undid the quivering queen. All she could do was swallow conspicuously and nod for her sister to continue. "That he wouldn't get away with this. He just laughed at me, and locked me in the room, and left me for dead."

Elsa couldn't help the tear that sparked in her eyes, filling in the blanks between her own awful encounters with the Prince of the Southern Isles. She shuddered for her lost princess, and listened to the remainder of the story, how Olaf had suddenly and unexpectedly come to Anna's rescue, how Olaf had made Anna believe that Kristoff loved her, and how the both of them escaped the castle while the storm continued to rip it apart.

"I was so cold, Elsa," she murmured, drawing Elsa's cool hands even closer to her own heart. "I have never been that cold in my life. I looked down at my palms, and saw the frost erupt on them, tracing snowflakes on my hands. I whispered Kristoff's name, hoping he could hear me."

Elsa could not help it then; she stifled yet another sob and looked away, into the embers of the fire that glowed all white and warm, staving off the chill of the summer night.

Anna yet again rose with all the glory and fire of a phoenix. Her warm voice climbed out of the ashes of the fire, and her warm hands breathed upon Elsa's own, causing a convulsive shudder to overtake her limbs.

"Elsa, dearest Elsa," she whispered into the queen's cool palms, and her breath on her skin was like a blazing aurora, like the summer's dawn, like the warmth and deliciousness of fresh baked chocolate chip cookies and just as beloved.

Then with one hand she reached up, and touched Elsa's cheek, and Elsa melted into those warm and beloved fingers. She could not break her gaze with Anna's eyes, could not sever this connection that was the first in so many years. This connection, forged of courage and bound by truth, this connection was the very beating of Elsa's heart, the depth of magic in her bones, the source of all life and beauty. She was bound to Anna's words, just as she was bound to the blood rushing through Anna's veins, the blood that surged through an altered heart.

"You ask why I love you, Elsa?" Anna murmured, scooting closer to Elsa on the little couch, invading every part of Elsa's space, and Elsa was powerless to resist it, powerless against the majesty and awe of Princess Anna's words and devotion. "I love you because… because…"

And her little sister could not say it, but it did not matter, no it didn't, for every word and action was testament already to Elsa's heart and soul. Elsa could not help but gather her broken little sister into her arms, to cradle her close, and murmur soft words into the crown of her head. She opened her body and her arms to her dearest heart, and Anna came inside them, finally Anna was here with her, and the touch and breath of her caused Elsa's heart to hiccup in wonder and fascination.

She cradled her close, tucked so very near her own heart and breast, and Anna's hands were tight on her arms, pulling them tight as a cocoon about her, tight as the wings of a bird terrified to learn to fly.

Elsa stroked Anna's hair, such fire and redness, stroked it again and again and kissed the fiery crown of Anna's head. "Shush, my darling," she cooed. "I'm here. I'm never going to leave you, never."

Her sister's hands seemed to convulse on her as if mystified at Elsa's words. For her reply Elsa opened her heart and body even wider, enveloping Anna as if she could bear her to the bright space beside her heart, there to dwell in peace and love for all eternity.

Long and glorious minutes passed, breaths a synchrony of delight and devotion, hearts in wonder. Anna's hands stilled their frenzy, and she snuggled as deep and complete as was possible for two people who dwelled in separate bodies.

Only then did Elsa realize that Anna had fallen asleep.

Only then did she realize the depth of Hans' betrayal, the turmoil that must have clenched her dear sister's heart. To sacrifice it all for Elsa's sake, giving up every future she had ever dreamed; the enormity of the act once again hewed Elsa's heart.

It was enough for now to hold the dear girl; to feel the heart beat that was ever so slightly different due to Elsa's magic. It was enough to be so close, hand to hand, heart to heart, breath to bated breath.

And a great tide shifted within Queen Elsa in that moment, a movement of land and sea, so deep as to be nearly indiscernible, but in the wake of such titanic movement she could only hazard a guess that everything, yes everything had changed.

And Elsa mourned all the time unspent, the words unsaid. An ocean of regret, enough for her to drown in, awake and kicking.

A shiver of true fear severed muscle from bone.

Would she spend the future the same way? Drowning in regrets, never able to take back words she never said? Could she finally be the sister that Anna deserved? Or would her words fall on dead ears, a heart arrhythmia so perplexing as to be Elsa's fault alone, she had frozen, yes frozen! her sister's dear heart, and there were no shadows or ghosts now to listen to Elsa's cries of protest or recrimination. There was only this sweet person in her arms and a future stark and clear.

It may be that your presence is all the cure that is required.

Elsa brought back the physician's words to her disturbed mind, and only then did she soothe her own troubled heart.

This was no time to worry about such things. Not when Anna was here, asleep in her arms.

So Anna slept on, and Elsa held her, and the night crawled towards that barely discernible halt in the wee hours of the morning, the coals of the fire a dull and constant red.


Song: Words Never Said by Skylar Grey

I hope you have enjoyed the first two chapters, and that I have you hooked! I'll be posting new chapters every Sunday evening from now until the story is done. ~ Jen