Beginning | Accusation | Restless | Haze | Flame | Formal | Companion | Move | Silver | Prepared | Knowledge | Denial | Wind | Order | Thanks | Look | Summer | Transformation | Tremble | Sunset | Mad | Thousand | Outside | Winter | Diamond | Letters | Promise | Simple | Future
Waking up next to somebody wasn't something Alex had done a lot of in her life. Not voluntarily, at least. But it had taken a surprisingly short amount of time to get used to waking up with Sean wrapped around her. So when she woke in the middle of the night she knew immediately that something was wrong. She rolled over, but he wasn't there. Wasn't anywhere, she saw when she sat up and looked around.
It was cold when she climbed out of bed, and she reached for the nearest article of clothing to pull on over her tank top. It was one of Sean's sweaters, she realized as it dropped nearly to her knees. Wrapping her arms around herself against the chill, she went looking for him.
He was sitting at the kitchen table, staring at the wall absently. His shoulders tensed when she came up behind him.
"I didn't mean to wake you," he nearly whispered. She stood next to his chair and put a hand on his shoulder.
"Talk to me," she said simply. He took a shaky breath.
"I should have been faster." She shook her head.
"We did everything we could. Amanda had more backup than our intel said. We were lucky we got out without losing anyone else." Sean was quiet for a long moment.
"I didn't know his name. I recognized his face; I've seen him around a lot. But I had to look up his personnel file when we got back to Division. Jason Adler. When I was a SEAL, I knew every guy I went out with; their names, their families, their taste in music, their fucking favorite color. Because we were more than soldiers, we were partners, teammates. I didn't even know his name." His voice broke, his breathing got more ragged. "I don't know what the hell I'm doing here." Alex took his face in her hands and looked down at him.
"Listen to me. You did everything you could. You nearly got yourself shot trying to get to him first. You did that even though you didn't even know his name. Because that's who you are, Sean. That's the kind of person you are. And without you we might have lost over half of Alpha Team. We need you in Division. It's a better place with you in it than without." She leaned down and kissed his forehead, then wrapped her arms around him tightly. She held him silently until his breathing had slowed.
"Come back to bed," she said when she was sure he had calmed. She knew it wasn't as easy as that, knew the underlying pain was still there, but they weren't going to fix it right then and there in the middle of the night. He needed to sleep, to rest and recover.
He followed her silently to the bedroom and climbed into bed at her urging. This time when they curled up, it was Alex who wrapped herself around Sean. She stayed awake until his breathing slowed and she was sure he had fallen asleep. She kissed his forehead again, and finally let herself drift off after him.
