It had been a few days since Cas started working with the FBI, he was learning quickly that they are not as organized as one might think. At least Deans superior Bobby Singer seemed to run a tight ship, but with so many cases running through the office at once Cas was surprised they found the time to deal with such a case. There had only been a few murders so far and Cas was certain had it not been for the strange symbols the FBI would not even be investigating it. But Dean seemed adamant that they capture the unsub, the unknown subject. Cas was learning the FBI lingo quickly, it was thrown around the office along with his new nickname. He was more comfortable with it now. It was not ideal, and the only person who could say it without sending an unsettling bolt of nausea through him was Dean. But that was Dean, everything about him seemed to put Cas at ease. So he found himself accepting the new people in his life calling him Cas. And was finding himself referring to himself as Cas now also.
He had arrived just after lunch to his usual midweek appointment and had been shown through to the office but his Psychiatrist was nowhere in sight. He stood beside the bookcase a feeling of unease spreading through his entire being. He did not like being in the office without the familiar presence of Sam, he had been Castiel's Doctor since he left the FBI 4 years ago. Back then Sam was fresh out of medical school with ideas that rivalled his peers. Now Sam and Cas had an easy relationship, one which Cas had come to rely on and trust. And today Sam was late. Sam was never late. It was starting to fray Cas' nerves. He stared at the books reading each spine allowing the familiarity of each title to stave his nerves. He looked around the room taking in the familiar art on the other three walls, ignoring the almost clinical feel of the plain silver shutters on the windows, the white walls were supposed to represent a blank canvas, a place of no preconceptions. The door opens and a chill runs down his spine he turned to look and felt his body almost ease as he spots Sam, the tall longhaired Doctor looked rushed and flushed Cas took in his presence and squinted over at him, what had he been doing to leave him with such expressions.
Sam looked over and caught Castiels expression, he straighten his shirt and ran his fingers through his hair and offers an apologetic smile at Castiel who was at this moment still giving him a less than impressed glare. "My apologies Castiel, my brother detained me longer than I had anticipated. It appears he had much to say today."
Cas nodded and walked over to where there are two seats sat at such an angle where both are equally facing towards and away from each other. He took a seat and watched Sam open a draw in his desk. "Your apology is accepted Samuel." Cas placed his hands in his lap and glanced at his watch. Sam was almost twenty minutes late.
"Thank you very much for understanding Castiel." Sam smiled and reached into his draw taking out his diary and his note pad then he takes a seat opposite Castiel.
Cas sits there with Sam for almost a hour talking about how his week has been and Cas cannot help but lock his jaw each time Sam calls him Castiel. It has never been a problem before, however right now Cas was struggling with listening to his own name. Cas spoke to Sam about how he currently feels, expressing his deep displeasure for his experience the other day when he was misguided into leaving the safe confines of his office during break time, leaving him to face multiple challenges. Sam praised him on his ability to cope with the situation, when actually all Cas wanted to do was talk about the empty feeling he got when standing close to this FBI agent. He wanted to express the gravitational pull this feeling has had over the past few days. He wants to say he may become addicted to not having to feel fear or feel anything, the cold dark is a welcoming peace and he is already craving that feeling. The more he thinks about it, the more he wants it so he decided it is in his best interests to deny that he is feeling any of this. And to return to his feelings, or rather too many feelings. Sam seemed to be staring at him, his warm eyes expressive in the way they wish for Cas to open up to him. Cas opens his mouth to speak but closes it again.
Sam started a new conversation asking Cas about his classes, but Cas gave simple almost non responsive answers, and it appeared the less he had to say the more Sam had to write down. Sam tapped his pen upon the board and glanced around the room.
"How are things with your colleagues Castiel? Have you made any progress there?" Sam asked and his eyes looked hopeful.
Cas felt a slight twinge at the corner of his mouth, he would not exactly say he had made progress there he still in large refused to talk to the other faculty staff, none of them were interesting or worth his anxiety. That being said Sam made, that is incorrect Sam requested that Cas sit in the faculty staff room with one of his books all day. Of course, Cas had every intention of not staying in the staff room at all. He would happily tell Sam he did but it did not work. However what was the point of paying this man if not to take his advice, and he had known Sam for many years and trusted him. So Cas sat in the staff room with his book, reading to pass the time, throughout the day as different people came in Cas looked over the top of the book at them, he held his breath every time he heard the door. This exercise was to encourage Cas to speak to others, to smile and say hello. However, Cas stumbled over the word, as simple as it is, it is impossible to speak when panic rushes through your system about everything they could not like about you, the walls close in and it becomes almost impossible to breath. Cas used his book as a life line gripping it tight as he counted through his breathing, and for the most part his day was quiet no one bothered with the strange twitching professor on the couch. That was until late afternoon Cas had just returned from the coffee house the other end of campus he walked in and froze he had left his book behind when he had talked himself into going to get coffee. He had been so busy counting his breathing he left his book and now someone else was reading it. He was suddenly counting his breathing again. Then this red head with warm eyes looked up at him and smiled and asked if it was his book.
This is how he met Charlie, fellow colleague at Columbia university. Charlie was a Computer Technology Teaching Assistant. She has slowly become Cas friend. Sam was happy with this outcome, he has since encouraged seeing Charlie outside of the university campus, but he has not seen due course or reason to invite her anywhere. They meet for coffee maybe once a week, but beyond that it is passing hellos if they every cross paths. Charlie is a wonderful young woman, she is bright and colourful and the total opposite to him. She fills him with a wonder he rarely feels. Her excitement is contagious, but he can only manage to be around such brightness for so long, it makes him uncomfortable after a while. So the coffee once a week is all they require to keep Sam happy. And Charlie appears to love regaling Cas with stories of her adventures in Moondoor and how her students are creating a video based on the Role Play concept of that kingdom.
Cas filled Sam in on the same updates he received from Charlie and fed Sam the same information he himself gave to Charlie.
"Are you aware of the coming date Castiel?"
Cas just stared at him, he knew the date it was the 13th of February, what does that have to do with anything? "I do know the date today Samuel"
"Castiel, Please call me Sam. I was wondering if you had any plans for tomorrow, it is Valentine's Day Castiel. Are you planning on doing anything?"
Oh. Now he understood. "No, I have no plans, nothing aside from my usual Friday routine. I am going to attend work and then I shall visit my sisters grave, I shall inform her of my week and then I am returning home. Why should this Friday be any different, I do not celebrate such frivolous holidays."
Sam's face looked pensive, he did this thing with his tongue that angered Cas more than he wished to admit. Cas felt his thoughts become conflicted, he did not wish to talk to Sam right now, the questions seemed pointless and Cas could not shake thinking about the cool calmness gained from green eyes, but he was not going to talk about this here, it would make Sam ask questions Cas did not wish to answer. So Sam continued to ask Cas meaningless simple questions and the more he asked the more Cas wished he would stop asking. Cas had the case on his mind and as soon as the session was over he excused himself and returned to his office.
Upon entering the building Cas passed through the security check and towards the elevator down to his floor, pushing the button feeling his anxiety ease as he thinks of spending the rest of his day locked within the confines of his office, what he did not expect was walking into his office to see Dean. His mood dropped instantly, he had used all his energy engaging Sam, he did not have the energy to placate Dean with menial conversation.
"Hello Dean"
"Hey Cas, where you been? I been here for what feels like hours man" Dean flashed over a smile, a file in his hands as he turns towards Cas from the far wall book case where Dean had been reading the names of all the different text books and classic literature. He would not admit to taking any out, he had a feeling Cas was really anal about it.
"I had a prior engagement, if you had called ahead you would have been informed as much" Cas' gut twisted, he knew for a fact that Dean had been in his office unattended most likely touching objects that were not his to touch. This made Cas feel very uneasy, his stomach twisting into knots as he inhales sharply his breathing uneven but he tries to control himself in the best way he can.
"Well I needed to get out the office, Bobby was asking questions and I had no answers, so I thought I'd drop by, find out if you wanted to come and do some investigating with me?" Dean smiled and stepped across the office towards Cas.
Cas froze in situ, his mind racing at what Dean had just suggested. "You wish for me to accompany you? But why?" He could not grasp the concept of what Dean wanted, not to mention Cas really did not wish to speak with any one, but perhaps someone would have an extra insight for Cas on what is going on. He realised Dean was just staring at him with a half-smile now expecting an answer. "If you wish for me to come who am I to disagree with you Dean, you know what is best for this case"
"Well, I could go on my own, it's not like I don't know my job, but you are the expert Cas, I Just thought you'd like to come on the case with me rather than just being hauled up in here as a consultant. You are my partner now, I'll tell you what, why don't I show you what I have so far. And you can tell me all about your hot date" Dean chuckled at his own comment knowing this wasn't the case but, something made him say it. He couldn't help but notice Cas was highly uncomfortable, his whole posture was changing and he was clearly agitated by the idea so maybe this was the best cause of action for the time being.
Cas shuffled on the balls of his feet uncomfortably and gazed between Dean and his bookcase he was going to have to clean there later. For now he had the more pressing matter of actually dealing with Dean. Flicking his gaze to Deans eyes and instantly regretting it, as all the preconceptions of what to expect melted away he swallowed down and nodded until his eyes widened and he choked on his own saliva "What do you mean a hot date Dean? What are you insinuating? I was doing no such thing" He closed his mouth about to say more, however now he adverted his gaze "I am better as a consultant, I do not work well within close proximity to strangers Dean" Cas asserted his back straightening as he kept his gaze fixed on a specific point on his desk.
"How about we go get coffee at your spot Cas, and we can talk some more about this case, I'll get your advice on a few aspects and have a clue on what to ask the people I need to go question." Dean offers him a smile, hoping to at least have him become more relaxed at the sound of his coffee spot.
Cas nods his head and looks towards the file in Deans hand wondering what he had with him. "What is that you have with you this time, there hasn't been another murder has there?" He feels his breath hitch as his stomach churns at the idea that he was not fast enough to help to save a life.
"It's just a few names and information we have on them, I thought you might not want to come with, so I brought a file with me so we can work out who will be the best person for me to question first, I'd love to get your psychological insight to all of this" Dean grinned slightly too much. Cas was sure he was lying, hiding something. It felt like another test but Cas just nodded, this time actually checking the time. Since their first meeting and abruptly walking into his own version of hell Cas vowed to always check the time.
It was during 4th period Cas was certain there would be minimal traffic between here and his coffee spot. The less people he has to navigate the better. He grounded himself where he was. Reminded himself that it was a safe place and he could go. With little more said between them Cas ushered Dean once again out of his office, locking it behind them, this was becoming a habit one Cas did not want Dean to form. He walked along the corridor towards the elevator and they make their way towards the coffee spot. This journey was becoming easier, it appeared Dean knew where he was going now.
Once they arrived at the coffee spot, they not only readied Cas drink but Dean's also. Dean was impressed; it appeared the professor must have been held in high regard with the students on campus for them all to take notice. Either that or they were obviously all crushing on him, not that it's hard to believe. Dean had noted already that Cas was handsome, no he hadn't noticed that at all. This was a work partnership and if it's one thing Sammy has taught him, it is that you do not shit in your own yard. He made that mistake once and it took said intern leaving before Dean could even walk into work without dodging into the copier room or into others offices to avoid them. No Dean did not notice that Cas is good looking or anything of the sort. He was neutral, and weird. Dean did not need to focus too much on that.
Cas and Dean took their seats Cas instantly looking out across the park, a slight smile crossing his features as he turns towards Dean. "What did you wish to ask of me then Dean?"
Dean handed over the file. "Take a quick read and give me some guidance on who to approach first and the best way in which to get them to tell me anything that might help, these are the closest thing we have to leads so far"
Cas took the file, he eyes Dean sceptically then opened the file and started to read through it, the few profiles in there were off Drug dealers, pimps and local gang members, he sighs exasperated. "Dean none of these are what you are looking for, this is a waste of your time and mine to give me a list like this."
Dean looked shocked he hadn't expected such admonishment from Cas and most certainly not so quickly. "So who should I be looking for? Because so far these are all we've found in connection to any of the victims" He huffs and stares at Cas expectantly.
Cas sighs his eyes closing as he thinks of the murder scenes and the bodies, the way they are disfigured and their placement within abandoned places. "These are not gang hits or crimes of heated moments nor are they disputes between employer and employee." His eyes remained closed as he puts himself within the crime scenes, "The unsub requires space, somewhere clean enough to clean down to ensure no trace evidence is left behind." He's stood within a large white room, tiled floor with drains sprinkler system overhead, the room reinforced and sound proofed, he himself is meticulously clean. Nails filed back hair trimmed and groomed very neat, short but not military short. "He is well educated, immaculately dressed and has a charming usual appearance that makes his victims feel at ease until it is too late, he is tall and strong, but he does not need to enforce his power his job gives him enough credibility that what he asks for is given to him regularly without hesitation." Cas continues through his walk through of the scene. "He has money but he does not live a life of luxury, he lives a usual existence creating no waves, he would be a hard worker but not over exceeding. He likes to fly under the radar, within law enforcement, or he wished to be within law enforcement and has had to leave, his skill suggest some medical training or he is an astute study and is self-taught, some of the wounds suggest hesitation he is still not a hundred percent proficient at his chosen skill." Cas was in this room, it is all white and clean and he feels relaxed his shoulders slump, his heart rate slows, he feels at home here the clean nature of this room makes him comfortable here. Cas looks around spotting the trolley "He has all the weapons he wishes for, he does not waste his time but he has plenty of it." Cas is now stood over the body of a young girl who is kneeling before him, her bright green eyes stare at him. He tilts his head, the blade in his hand well balanced and sharp as he swings his arm it catches and slides across her skin with ease, sliding though her layers of skin like a hot knife through butter. "The marks on the body, the blades he uses are custom made built for him, the weight and grip of the hilt to blade is exactly right for his arm, he views the weapon as an extension of him, when you find him, he will have the weapon near him, a safety blanket, his favourite blade." Cas watches as each precision mark upon the body causes her to bleed out within seconds, she falls slump to the floor and he begins his work. "The over kill is not just to mask his skill but to send a message, he is not afraid of his work, he his challenging you to stop him, he is letting you know he is out of control, he will be calm calculated in all aspects of his life until it reaches this point, then he lets go here." He leans down to the body the time he takes he revels in it, he enjoys the feeling as he runs his fingers along the seams in the body he has created life pouring from her. He turns and picks up the etching tool and gets to work creating his masterpiece. "He is a scholar I believe in ancient world religions, his knowledge of symbols is basic but I believe he has had some schooling to know where to begin to look." Once he finished carving his symbol into the body he starts to get the body ready for transportation, he turns the sprinklers on and leaves the room. "his room will have black light for him to ensure there is nothing left upon the body to identify him, but he knows he has time to move freely he has local police knowledge and knows the places it will be safe to use to stage his bodies." Cas becomes trapped in his mind, sweat starts pouring down his forehead as his heart races, the visions behind his eyes unrelenting.
Dean watches on making notes to everything Cas says then as Cas goes quiet he becomes worried. "Cas?" He considers reaching over to Cas but he didn't want to startle him. He keeps calling his name hoping to draw his attention back here, he wasn't sure what to do. He was about to get up move to sit beside Cas when a young lady sits beside him, her red hair shining in the sun as she flashes Dean a smile and it leaves him slightly confused. He was about to ask who she was when she started waving her hand in front of Cas face.
"Castiel?" She keeps waving her hand in his face as she turns to Dean. "He is having one of his moments again. You looked startled thought I'd come help you out. I'm Charlie by the way"
Dean stares at her. "That obvious huh? I'm Dean," He cracks a slight smile almost laughing, but his eyes fall on Cas and he cannot help but be concerned. "You sure he is ok? How long will he be like that for?"
"Yeah he will be fine, he has these moments" she looks to Dean and smiles warmly "He won't be like it long, wait. Are you FBI Dean? I knew he said handsome but I think he was selling you short" She offers a light laugh and waves her hand at Cas again this time snapping her fingers at the end of his nose.
"Yes FBI…wait, what? He said what?" Dean was about to push the matter more, but Cas is suddenly back in the land of the living and his focus is right there, he will leave his questions for Charlie or maybe Cas later. "Cas?"
Cas sighs his whole body shaking the deep sweat setting in, he glances to Dean and almost jumps as he spots Charlie, he feels trapped and it is unwelcome. He needs to move.
"Please excuse me, I must leave now. Dean that is all the information I have for you at this present time. Charlie please excuse me" He starts to move and almost pushes Charlie out of the way she gets up and moves, it is unlike Cas he needs to move, normally he would wait, but he needs to move. Charlie gets up and Dean offers her an apologetic look as he grabs his file and starts after Cas shouting at him to wait up. But Cas ignores him and keeps moving.
Dean ends up standing at the edge of campus as Cas takes off through the park, Dean lost him the moment Cas sprinted, Dean could have given chase but he decided that for now Cas needed his space. He'd call him later to find out what the fuck that was all about
